Friday, March 31, 2006

An Interview with Jericho

Jericho is running a series of interviews with willing participants. I'd highly encourage you to go check them out. He asks thought-provoking questions that are sure to reveal sides of people you may never have known existed otherwise. His blog is a marvelous blend of his poetry and his perspectives. He ruminates on what has brought his to where he is and where he is going next as he strips both metaphorically and physically. I'd highly encourage you to go check him out too. Now let's see what sorts of questions he has for me. And apologies in advance for the length of this post.

1. You acknowledge that you are a wife and mother. Your kids are marvelously accounted for in many ways at the House of Lime, but not Mr. Lime. Oh, sure, a few comments here and there suggest that he exists. However, very few stories reveal his role. Now, this may be for any one of many valid reasons - he may have requested such or other personal reasons may dictate such, for example. I could even try to peer deeper and reference this post, where you plead the fifth when asked if you are in love with someone. My question is less invasive, however.

How knowledgable is Mr. Lime about your blogging activities and is he supportive, indifferent, or unsupportive of the House of Lime project?

Yes, you are an observant fellow to note the glaring absence of Mr. Lime references. Part of that is because he is a more private person than I am. He hasn't made any specific request but I think he'd not be thrilled if I posted much about him. I don't feel it is a problem to post things like the Trini Valentine because they cast him in a positive light. Who can take issue with that?.

He's not terribly knowledgable and that is mainly his choice. I've been online for 4 years and have online friends from as far back as that. His general opinion of an 'online community' or friendship is that it is all very silly at best. He knows that I 'blog' though I don't believe he really grasps what that means. He is not especially receptive to discussing very many of my interests. Heck, he is hard pressed to even name what they are. Although after making that admission publicly and having someone else suggest he should be making more of an effort he recalled I am a good target shooter and offered to take me shooting. It is either evidence of my forgiving nature or his extreme bravery that he could confess to such ignorance and immediately offer to put a loaded weapon in my hands. Mwahahaha!

For the record, I read Sports Illustrated, Runner's World, and Field & Stream so I can discuss his interests. I also know more about Star Trek than any sane human being should because he loves it. Firefighting, tubas, soccer, life-guarding...I can discuss those too, for his sake.

I am continuing to plead the 5th on that other thing mentioned. Interpret that any way you like. Come on, tell me you don't love some sense of mystery...

2. In
this post, you tell the story of your first Thanksgiving in Trinidad and reveal that Thanksgiving as "the most special one" you have ever celebrated.

What could you do to make this year's Thanksgiving the most special one for someone you care dearly about but are reluctant to work that hard on the relationship. (your children excluded, of course)

This is a really good question. Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday because it can't be commercialized to the degree others are. It's about being grateful for what you've got. And darn you for excluding my children! (I want to take them with me to the local shelter and help serve the holiday meal there. It's something I did regularly as a teen and it and I'd like them to have that experience too.) Had to make it hard didn't you? And I just had to slip my kids in anyway. Hahaha.

We live close enough to my family that it is more or less expected that we join them for Thanksgiving. My extended family (40 people or so) all gathers at my aunt's house. My mother, for whatever reason, decided many years ago to stop participating in that and have her own dinner. Since that time we have gone to her house and spent the day with her and my stepfather.

Mr. Lime has expressed his desire not to have to do this. We were set to discuss it with Mom last year after the meal but before we could she announced invitations to next year. Arg! If I were to say, 'Hon, we'll stay home and have our own Thanksgiving.' and be willing to suffer the unhappy scene it will create with my mom he would be a very happy man. Bracing for impact at maximum velocity here......

3. Several posts reveal you to be a person of faith. For instance, you state that you are thankful for the freedom to worship; and you "pray that whatever life brings, may we all be made sweeter."

What is the biggest obstacle that exists between you and your faith?

The short answer is I am my own biggest obstacle. My own lack of discipline, my own pride, my own weakness in all sorts of areas comprise the biggest hurdle to clear. I've never clearly defined my own brand of faith on this blog before so I will now state that I am a Christian. Many times I feel I am the worst example I know of what that means.

I chose this path when I was 13, much to the chagrin of my Unitarian mother and my atheist father. Mom did not actively oppose my choice but Dad did. At a time when I craved his approval desperately I made a decision I knew he'd never bless. My parents and I are at peace though. Through the years there have been other really significant challenges that I am not quite ready to lay out in such a public forum as this (though I am willing to plumb this further in a private conversation via email, if you like). Some of them are related to our time in Trinidad so you may eventually see some posts about those. Others are related to frustrations with church, church leaders, and the organized expression of Christianity. Others have arisen as a result of two polar opposite personalities grinding against each other for 17+ years.

As I've always known, but was recently reminded, it mostly boils down to my own stubborness to accept that God, as the Creator of the universe and Redeemer of my soul, has the right to deal with me as He pleases. My expectations do not make the world go 'round but they do tend to cause me problems when they are unmet. I am a fist shaker from way back. Just ask my mother.

4. You love to read, and I admire you so much for your desire to spread the joy of reading through your support and work for Reading is Fundamental. You wrote about the first book that had a real impact on you and reveal that you are "drawn to biographies."

I am writing a biography of you. What are the greatest tragedy, the greatest joy, and the greatest lesson we will reveal in this sure-to-have-an-impact biography?

Ok, this one stopped me in my tracks. I did not see this question coming and I seriously cannot imagine anyone wanting to write my biography much less anyone wanting to read it. 'Sure-to-have-an-impact' is completely beyond my scope of imagination.

Hopefully, I still have lots of life left to live so there could be a lot of tragedy and a lot of joy yet to come. I am really reluctant to use the word tragedy in reference to my own life thus far. I tend to think of tragedy as being something that leads to an utter waste of a person's potential or that results in bitterness, something where no lesson is learned. Have there been intensely painful and scarring experiences? Yes. If I call them tragedies then it seems they have gotten the better of me, that I have been unable to rise above them or learn from them. I have to admit a tendency toward bitterness, but I am aware of it and have several examples of people who cling to it and who serve as reminders of how I don't want to end up. Also, for every painful experience in my life I can find any number of other people who have suffered much worse than I have.

All that to say, I'm not going to refer to it as tragedy so just attach some other word to it if you don't mind. Being subjected to the 'Boyfriend of the Month Club' after Dad left when I was 6 was really miserably painful. It was like having a scab torn off every time it finally started to heal. I just wanted a dad who would be around and be tender and kind and make life feel safe. All but one of the men Mom brought around, except one, were complete losers. There were sponges. There were Alpha Males who felt they had to assert their dominance over us all. There were violent men, racist men, crass men, alcoholics, drug users, and men who had some pretty nasty 'business associates.' I wish Mom had learned much earlier than she did that she was worthy of a good man. But, life is what it is. I was really blessed to have wonderful grandparents who lived close enough to provide some of the stability I needed. Mom loved us too and worked her ass off to provide for us and then improve her own lot and I am really proud of her accomplishments. Dad and I are at peace. He is who he is, I am who I am. And the BOTM club motivates me to provide stability for my own kids. Mom always told us that whatever she did right we should go out and repeat. Whatever she did wrong we should resolve to improve upon. I think that was the best piece of advice she ever gave me. It opens the door to grace in areas of failure and allows for hope and strength in the future. There is something in my adult life that is way too long to go into here (gads, I've already got quite the tome here. I should have offered No-Doze at the beginning of this post) and I am not quite sure how to express it but it's there and that's all I can say for right now.

Greatest joy. Man, I hate superlatives and having to pick just one! Ok, I am going to pick the broadest one possible so it can contain so many of the others. Being able to watch my kids grow and develop over the course of their lives covers so much. Being privy to each of their firsts is pure joy. First time I felt each one in my womb, first steps, words, first days of school. Their first drawings, the first concert they each participated in. Seeing them gasp at the vastness of the ocean for the first time. First bras, boyfriends, and heartbreaks. First homerun, or soccer goal. Seeing how they differ one from the other is amazing. They are each so very different from each other and getting to watch and help them each discover their own loves and skills is all part of that joy. Diana is utterly focused and determined in the few things she really loves. Calypso flits here and there and enjoys where ever she lands. Isaac is a clown with a deep heart and an active mind. They are my joy.

The greatest lesson I'd hope is one I will probably be learning till I die. Circumstances do not dictate who we are. How we respond to circumstances reveals who we are. Too often I don't like what my responses reveal. When it is all said and done I hope it can be said that I reflected Christ and I never stopped laughing, learning, living, or loving while I was here.

5. You speak of the Muse of Blogging. You and other regular readers (I sometimes guess at who is "regular") often serve as a veritable Muse Board for me. Today, however, the Board has dictated that you will be my muse. As you begin your work, you come to me with answers to the following:

What is something you wish your blog to have/inspire/be but it just isn't there (yet?)? Is there something I can do to make your blogging experience even better? What do you like most and least about my blog?

I really want to achieve a sense of balance between silly and serious. Insane Asylime allows me to be entirely silly and I love doing it with Snavy. I wanted to do HOL so I could explore more than just the silly side. I've needed a creative outlet and this has helped. When I started I wondered if I'd be able to come up with anything people would find worthwhile reading, outside of my pals from Yahoo. And I really wondered if I'd bore them to tears. It blows my mind when I find out someone new enjoys coming here (Wow! Really?). I never wanted to do a chronicle of my daily life or exorcise demons but I do find that I want to offer more glimpses of my heart and mind. And I really want to stimulate conversation. Let me tell you a story, now you tell me one. I'm not sure I have acheived those last two goals.

I hope I can inspire a sense of wonder at the world and a sense of gratitude for whatever blessings we each enjoy. I don't want to achieve that in an artificial or sappy way, but naturally and honestly in a way that gives us pause long enough to consider what we have and see it anew. And if I ever come across as having lost my sense of wonder or gratitude I want someone out there to whap me upside the head and remind me.

Make my blogging experience more enjoyable by entering into the wonder. Sit down with me and marvel over a purple leaf or watching snowflakes melt one at a time. Make me laugh until my sides ache. Stimulate my creativity. Converse. Help me be a better writer. Give me feedback on what works and doesn't work. Give me more glimpses into your heart and mind. Keep making me think. I love that! Tickle my brain! And while you are at it, give me your answers to this last set of questions.

My favorite part of your blog is what initially attracted me to it. The posts where you reveal what a deeply thinking person you are hooked me. When you've tossed out a different way to look at issues people think they have all locked up it's been so excellent. Sean & Lyn, Seeking Discernment, Finding Wisdom, Love Thoughtswere all tremendous posts. You've handled thorny issues deftly and rationally and that is a damn rare skill these days. When you've given glimpses into your heart and mind it's been like opening up one of the Boxes and finding treasure.

Well, I had a challenge to issue to you regarding your HNT posts instead of saying what I don't like. Since you said yesterday that mine show such thought and you were humbled I was all set to tell you to reveal more of who you are instead of just your mighty fine bamsee (which I still want to pinch). And then to my surprise I found Keeping Time. Bravo! More of that please!

Ok, Lime, thanks for your patience and for your willingness to take part.

You're welcome, Jericho. Thanks for the time you put into crafting thought provoking questions. I hope I didn't give too much or too little in response.

The rules of the Interview Game are:
If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying, “interview me.”
I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others.
When others ask to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.


Breazy said...

wow! awesome questions and awesome answers . Lime here lately I have noticed that you are starting to open up a bit of yourself that you haven't shown before , and I am not just talking about pictures , which I love the new pics! I remember you telling us you would be exploring some sides to yourself not so long ago and I just want to say that I am really enjoying getting to know those other parts of you !

truckdriver_sefl said...

Wow!! What an awesome job!! I love your answers Lime. I really like what you had to say about your faith. I to am christian and some days I feel I am the worst example of that that is "supposed" to be,but we are all sinners thats the jist of the whole religion. And then I look at what I will post today and think why did I just do that LOL

I belive the blogging thing for me is just a place the one place I can just put it all out there and be me though.

Thanks for being so honest and have a great weekend!

barefoot_mistress said...

Very interesting interview...saves info to use against you at a later date! :P


Jericho said...

Thanks for such wonderfully insightful and well-written answers.

#1 ~ Some of us are willing to take the time to learn how to speak, and thus share, another's interests... some of us are not... It is difficult not to judge and even more difficult to refrain from feeling that it's terribly unfair... 'nuff said for now.

#2 ~ dynamics... or is it hysterics?

#3 ~ The best statement on your ("my," too) faith (in my opinion, on any faith): it's about relationship, not religion....

#4 ~ I would read your biography. As for tragedy, I intended for that word to be used in whatever way fit... so cool. I went through dad's GOTM club... sheesh... I do believe it affected me greatly, negatively... and am just now realizing how... As for the joy of rearing children... no words adequately capture that joy.

#5 ~ You do inspire, humor, and provoke much thought. I cannot imagine anything that would improve upon it... I only can promise to do my part... It means so much to me to know you read (and even enjoy!) my writing. I especially am glad you appreciate the Keeping Time/HNT this week... it is quite different than the others - glad I read your mind. ;)

Thanks again for partaking...
I will keep "liming" on my schedule, of course.

snavy said...

What a great concept!!

Jericho - excellent questions & Lime - wonderful, well thought, wonderfully written answers.

You are an absolutely amazing person and,you do inspire, you need to know that.

I so love sharing/doing Insane Asylime with you very much. Over here at HOL, you have really created something both worth-while and interesting. Sometimes, I come over here and I laugh, I cry, I giggle, my eyes have indeed bugged out a couple times (hehe) but I always come away with a sense that I have gained/learned something of value. Thank you.

airplanejayne said...

Wow! what more can I say. I love the questions and your responses. What a fantastic concept.

The Village Idiot said...

wow lime..lots of thought went into those. Thanks for letting us see a little bit of whats behind the curtian

lecram sinun said...

WOW! That was insightful to say the least. Thanks for sharing.

Breazy said...

I am going to take the plunge here and be first to say " interview me" !


James Goodman said...

Wow, that was insightful and very interesting to read.

Having said that, the thing I will take away from this post more than anything else is....

and I love doing it with Snavy.

Naughty girl! :D

Have a great weekend.

Blither said...

I did it! I read it! The whole thing - high as a kite - Only took me an hour! Yeah I'm positive I read a few lines a multitude of times and I blacked out a part or two... but I did it! I was a little confused at the bottom, but Wow! I so love getting to know more about you Lime! That was really neat! Well worth the read! Thanks Lime!

lime said...

breazy, thank you so much. and thanks for being willing to be the next interviewee. i'll try to come up with good questions the way jericho did!

truckdriver, thanks for being open about that. it really is a struggle some days.

bare, you already have way too much ammo! LMAO!!

jericho, i am humbled. thank you so much for your kind words and words of encouragment. picture me giving a knowing nod and smile on the religion and GOTM/BOTM things.

snavy, dammit, i'm gonna start crying if you don't stop that. thanks, sweetie. big hugs to you.

jayne, thanks. glad you enjoyed.

idiot, limes have as many layers as onions, huh?

lecram, thank you. glad you found it to be so.

james, LMAO!!!! I guess it just proves there is a little something for everyone here :-)) (fodder for future HNT? LOL) have a great weekend yourself.

to all, #1 thanks for taking the time to read through such a long post and #2 thanks for the kind words

lime said...

oh blither, you poor thing. high as a kite on post-surg drugs and toughing it out through this. you deserve some sort of medal for enduring this

Logo™ said...

Limey, Limey,
Long is fine when it is interesting, to me, and this was definitely that.

I am considering volunteering, hmmmm

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Phain said...

I'm nearly at a loss for words. The questions this man crafts are second only to the answers you've given. You are an amazing woman and I'm glad for the opportunity to get to know you through your writings.

dusty said...

This was so interesting..both the questions and the answers were amazing..

He calls it a seems to be more than that.

Blither said...

haha.. I was being a bit melodramatic... I truly enjoyed reading your interview :)

Seamus said...

I am in awe of both the questions and the answers - a well crafted document from both sides! Thank you for all of the insight!

lime said...

logo, come in the water's fine!

le chat, dusty, seamus......thank you, youare all too kind.

blither, you are allowed to be melodramatic!

Tommy Gunn said...

Lime, so I told you that there was a growth spurt in your future. From what I can see your water has broken and the cramps are about 15 minutes apart. LOL You are gorgeous both inside and out.By the way you inspired my latest keg of beer. I can't wait to taste it. Love you dollface and have a great weekend.

keda said...

i second le chat. wonderful reading. and a wonderful blog- its lovely getting to know you.

now how did you solve the evil back? i have a shoulder that hates me.... as a therapist i have and continue to try everything... but the weakness never completely leaves...

keda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Logo said...

Alright, Lime, interview me
(wearing my best brave face)

Tan Lucy Pez said...

This was just an amazing post. I read every single word. It was long, but I didn't even notice that because it was so good. The questions were fabulous. Inspired.

Moosekahl said...

Wow, very insightful and honest. Just one more reason to keep on reading. Thanks for sharing over such poignant questions. Have a great week!

lime said...

tommy, got your gloves and mask and booties on the shoes??? and aren't you the sweetest thing.

keda, thanks. it's been nice to meet you too thru the interviews. spinal decompression therapy is the thing that got me over the last big hump in recovery.

logo, wooohoo!

lucy, thano you, i was really a bit concerned About the length. glad you didn't see it as a problem.

moose, thanks. you have a great week too!

DaMasta said...

Hi Lime!
I have to say honestly that I haven't been reading your blog for long. But this interview! WOW! just blew me away. I read insaneasylime more often, though, and I'm tellin' ya, your children have a special place in my heart! [I love hearing tales about them.. and you know how I feel about spawn!] I feel like I've learned so much from your answers. Thanks for the great post. I'm not sure how long you've been reading quesadillas, but if you feel like you have enough material, I wouldn't mind an interview. [Ack!]

miss_lissa said...

first word to escape my mouth after reading this: ~wooow!
(said slowly with a miniwheat in hand about to enter mouth haha)
I'm glad I grabbed a snack before reading (ha! just kidding) but I'm enthralled with what you wrote. Now, grab a snack before you read my response. lol I'll try to keep it short but again.. captivated & since this is the closet I can get for a cup of coffee & convo....
Your first sentence to question #3 said it all. "I am my biggest obstacle"
How true! We are our biggest hurdle to clear in this regard. Myself, I was born into and raised in a Lutheran/Christian household. I knew the language, walked the walk but never claimed it truly as my own religion until recently~ like within the past year.
The frustrations you summarize with "the church" per say are a big part of my own stumbling block as well. Which is why, I suppose... I call myself a Christian because I am indeed a believer and follower of Christ but I don't have any set domination that I would say I belong to. More spirit, less religion ;)
The last paragraph about your expectations blew me away because I can completly relate to what you wrote.
Your response to question #4... as a single mom of three stuck in the dating game, broke my heart. I think every child wants a dad who would be around and be tender and kind and make life feel safe. I wish my children had that. I wish their father had the maturity to seperate our divorce from his children and give them what they need but he lacks the brain cells to do such. I try to keep them out of the dating game. They're too little and too loving to understand. Bottom line: they come before any man. Which is why I look at it as, that man has the privilage of being welcomed to meet my children. NOT the other way around.
I too am grateful for my childrens grandparents and the stability they offer and hope that as my children grow into their own identity they are strong, wise, loving, patient and kind beyond all measure (and about a million other attributes!) because of all we're going thru together.
And the beauty you wrote about your children. It made me cry.
And I absolutely love your greatest Lesson! Sooo insightful!
Ahhh--- I could talk for ages on this. You really moved me on this question you know. :)
I enjoyed this interview so much not only for the insite to your heart and mind but for the lessons you've provided to mine.

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