1. You acknowledge that you are a wife and mother. Your kids are marvelously accounted for in many ways at the House of Lime, but not Mr. Lime. Oh, sure, a few comments here and there suggest that he exists. However, very few stories reveal his role. Now, this may be for any one of many valid reasons - he may have requested such or other personal reasons may dictate such, for example. I could even try to peer deeper and reference this post, where you plead the fifth when asked if you are in love with someone. My question is less invasive, however.
How knowledgable is Mr. Lime about your blogging activities and is he supportive, indifferent, or unsupportive of the House of Lime project?
Yes, you are an observant fellow to note the glaring absence of Mr. Lime references. Part of that is because he is a more private person than I am. He hasn't made any specific request but I think he'd not be thrilled if I posted much about him. I don't feel it is a problem to post things like the Trini Valentine because they cast him in a positive light. Who can take issue with that?.
He's not terribly knowledgable and that is mainly his choice. I've been online for 4 years and have online friends from as far back as that. His general opinion of an 'online community' or friendship is that it is all very silly at best. He knows that I 'blog' though I don't believe he really grasps what that means. He is not especially receptive to discussing very many of my interests. Heck, he is hard pressed to even name what they are. Although after making that admission publicly and having someone else suggest he should be making more of an effort he recalled I am a good target shooter and offered to take me shooting. It is either evidence of my forgiving nature or his extreme bravery that he could confess to such ignorance and immediately offer to put a loaded weapon in my hands. Mwahahaha!
For the record, I read Sports Illustrated, Runner's World, and Field & Stream so I can discuss his interests. I also know more about Star Trek than any sane human being should because he loves it. Firefighting, tubas, soccer, life-guarding...I can discuss those too, for his sake.
I am continuing to plead the 5th on that other thing mentioned. Interpret that any way you like. Come on, tell me you don't love some sense of mystery...
2. In this post, you tell the story of your first Thanksgiving in Trinidad and reveal that Thanksgiving as "the most special one" you have ever celebrated.
What could you do to make this year's Thanksgiving the most special one for someone you care dearly about but are reluctant to work that hard on the relationship. (your children excluded, of course)
This is a really good question. Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday because it can't be commercialized to the degree others are. It's about being grateful for what you've got. And darn you for excluding my children! (I want to take them with me to the local shelter and help serve the holiday meal there. It's something I did regularly as a teen and it and I'd like them to have that experience too.) Had to make it hard didn't you? And I just had to slip my kids in anyway. Hahaha.
We live close enough to my family that it is more or less expected that we join them for Thanksgiving. My extended family (40 people or so) all gathers at my aunt's house. My mother, for whatever reason, decided many years ago to stop participating in that and have her own dinner. Since that time we have gone to her house and spent the day with her and my stepfather.
Mr. Lime has expressed his desire not to have to do this. We were set to discuss it with Mom last year after the meal but before we could she announced invitations to next year. Arg! If I were to say, 'Hon, we'll stay home and have our own Thanksgiving.' and be willing to suffer the unhappy scene it will create with my mom he would be a very happy man. Bracing for impact at maximum velocity here......
3. Several posts reveal you to be a person of faith. For instance, you state that you are thankful for the freedom to worship; and you "pray that whatever life brings, may we all be made sweeter."
What is the biggest obstacle that exists between you and your faith?
The short answer is I am my own biggest obstacle. My own lack of discipline, my own pride, my own weakness in all sorts of areas comprise the biggest hurdle to clear. I've never clearly defined my own brand of faith on this blog before so I will now state that I am a Christian. Many times I feel I am the worst example I know of what that means.
I chose this path when I was 13, much to the chagrin of my Unitarian mother and my atheist father. Mom did not actively oppose my choice but Dad did. At a time when I craved his approval desperately I made a decision I knew he'd never bless. My parents and I are at peace though. Through the years there have been other really significant challenges that I am not quite ready to lay out in such a public forum as this (though I am willing to plumb this further in a private conversation via email, if you like). Some of them are related to our time in Trinidad so you may eventually see some posts about those. Others are related to frustrations with church, church leaders, and the organized expression of Christianity. Others have arisen as a result of two polar opposite personalities grinding against each other for 17+ years.
As I've always known, but was recently reminded, it mostly boils down to my own stubborness to accept that God, as the Creator of the universe and Redeemer of my soul, has the right to deal with me as He pleases. My expectations do not make the world go 'round but they do tend to cause me problems when they are unmet. I am a fist shaker from way back. Just ask my mother.
4. You love to read, and I admire you so much for your desire to spread the joy of reading through your support and work for Reading is Fundamental. You wrote about the first book that had a real impact on you and reveal that you are "drawn to biographies."
I am writing a biography of you. What are the greatest tragedy, the greatest joy, and the greatest lesson we will reveal in this sure-to-have-an-impact biography?
Ok, this one stopped me in my tracks. I did not see this question coming and I seriously cannot imagine anyone wanting to write my biography much less anyone wanting to read it. 'Sure-to-have-an-impact' is completely beyond my scope of imagination.
Hopefully, I still have lots of life left to live so there could be a lot of tragedy and a lot of joy yet to come. I am really reluctant to use the word tragedy in reference to my own life thus far. I tend to think of tragedy as being something that leads to an utter waste of a person's potential or that results in bitterness, something where no lesson is learned. Have there been intensely painful and scarring experiences? Yes. If I call them tragedies then it seems they have gotten the better of me, that I have been unable to rise above them or learn from them. I have to admit a tendency toward bitterness, but I am aware of it and have several examples of people who cling to it and who serve as reminders of how I don't want to end up. Also, for every painful experience in my life I can find any number of other people who have suffered much worse than I have.
All that to say, I'm not going to refer to it as tragedy so just attach some other word to it if you don't mind. Being subjected to the 'Boyfriend of the Month Club' after Dad left when I was 6 was really miserably painful. It was like having a scab torn off every time it finally started to heal. I just wanted a dad who would be around and be tender and kind and make life feel safe. All but one of the men Mom brought around, except one, were complete losers. There were sponges. There were Alpha Males who felt they had to assert their dominance over us all. There were violent men, racist men, crass men, alcoholics, drug users, and men who had some pretty nasty 'business associates.' I wish Mom had learned much earlier than she did that she was worthy of a good man. But, life is what it is. I was really blessed to have wonderful grandparents who lived close enough to provide some of the stability I needed. Mom loved us too and worked her ass off to provide for us and then improve her own lot and I am really proud of her accomplishments. Dad and I are at peace. He is who he is, I am who I am. And the BOTM club motivates me to provide stability for my own kids. Mom always told us that whatever she did right we should go out and repeat. Whatever she did wrong we should resolve to improve upon. I think that was the best piece of advice she ever gave me. It opens the door to grace in areas of failure and allows for hope and strength in the future. There is something in my adult life that is way too long to go into here (gads, I've already got quite the tome here. I should have offered No-Doze at the beginning of this post) and I am not quite sure how to express it but it's there and that's all I can say for right now.
Greatest joy. Man, I hate superlatives and having to pick just one! Ok, I am going to pick the broadest one possible so it can contain so many of the others. Being able to watch my kids grow and develop over the course of their lives covers so much. Being privy to each of their firsts is pure joy. First time I felt each one in my womb, first steps, words, first days of school. Their first drawings, the first concert they each participated in. Seeing them gasp at the vastness of the ocean for the first time. First bras, boyfriends, and heartbreaks. First homerun, or soccer goal. Seeing how they differ one from the other is amazing. They are each so very different from each other and getting to watch and help them each discover their own loves and skills is all part of that joy. Diana is utterly focused and determined in the few things she really loves. Calypso flits here and there and enjoys where ever she lands. Isaac is a clown with a deep heart and an active mind. They are my joy.
The greatest lesson I'd hope is one I will probably be learning till I die. Circumstances do not dictate who we are. How we respond to circumstances reveals who we are. Too often I don't like what my responses reveal. When it is all said and done I hope it can be said that I reflected Christ and I never stopped laughing, learning, living, or loving while I was here.
5. You speak of the Muse of Blogging. You and other regular readers (I sometimes guess at who is "regular") often serve as a veritable Muse Board for me. Today, however, the Board has dictated that you will be my muse. As you begin your work, you come to me with answers to the following:
What is something you wish your blog to have/inspire/be but it just isn't there (yet?)? Is there something I can do to make your blogging experience even better? What do you like most and least about my blog?
I really want to achieve a sense of balance between silly and serious. Insane Asylime allows me to be entirely silly and I love doing it with Snavy. I wanted to do HOL so I could explore more than just the silly side. I've needed a creative outlet and this has helped. When I started I wondered if I'd be able to come up with anything people would find worthwhile reading, outside of my pals from Yahoo. And I really wondered if I'd bore them to tears. It blows my mind when I find out someone new enjoys coming here (Wow! Really?). I never wanted to do a chronicle of my daily life or exorcise demons but I do find that I want to offer more glimpses of my heart and mind. And I really want to stimulate conversation. Let me tell you a story, now you tell me one. I'm not sure I have acheived those last two goals.
I hope I can inspire a sense of wonder at the world and a sense of gratitude for whatever blessings we each enjoy. I don't want to achieve that in an artificial or sappy way, but naturally and honestly in a way that gives us pause long enough to consider what we have and see it anew. And if I ever come across as having lost my sense of wonder or gratitude I want someone out there to whap me upside the head and remind me.
Make my blogging experience more enjoyable by entering into the wonder. Sit down with me and marvel over a purple leaf or watching snowflakes melt one at a time. Make me laugh until my sides ache. Stimulate my creativity. Converse. Help me be a better writer. Give me feedback on what works and doesn't work. Give me more glimpses into your heart and mind. Keep making me think. I love that! Tickle my brain! And while you are at it, give me your answers to this last set of questions.
My favorite part of your blog is what initially attracted me to it. The posts where you reveal what a deeply thinking person you are hooked me. When you've tossed out a different way to look at issues people think they have all locked up it's been so excellent. Sean & Lyn, Seeking Discernment, Finding Wisdom, Love Thoughtswere all tremendous posts. You've handled thorny issues deftly and rationally and that is a damn rare skill these days. When you've given glimpses into your heart and mind it's been like opening up one of the Boxes and finding treasure.
Well, I had a challenge to issue to you regarding your HNT posts instead of saying what I don't like. Since you said yesterday that mine show such thought and you were humbled I was all set to tell you to reveal more of who you are instead of just your mighty fine bamsee (which I still want to pinch). And then to my surprise I found Keeping Time. Bravo! More of that please!
Ok, Lime, thanks for your patience and for your willingness to take part.
You're welcome, Jericho. Thanks for the time you put into crafting thought provoking questions. I hope I didn't give too much or too little in response.
The rules of the Interview Game are:
If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying, “interview me.”
I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others.
When others ask to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.