Trini Tuesday-Stewed Pumpkin

Moose had asked for my stewed pumpkin recipe. Since it's a rather crazy week for me and Halloween is falling on Trini Tuesday, I thought I'd post it. I love this stuff. Give me a dish of stewed chicken over rice with a side of stewed pumpkin and a bunch of paratha roti and I am a very happy girl. Yes, TTfootball, I know that's an odd combination even for Trinis but it is my favorite.

TT asked for information about Bolivia compared to Trinidad. I'll try to do that the next time I do a Trini Tuesday post.


STEWED PUMPKIN a la Lime

4 cups (I'm guessing since I ususally fill a small pot with pumpkin) of peeled and diced pumpkin (butternut squash works when pumpkin is not available)

oil for frying onion and garlic, not a ton...Don't ask me for exact measurements. I learned this from an Indian housewife not a cookbook. Just throw some in the pot ok?

1 or 2 cloves of garlic

1/2 of a small yellow onion

1 potspoon (a good Trini measure...it means whatever big spoon you are stirring with) of brown sugar

-Mince the garlic and dice the onion.
-Heat the oil over medium high heat and fry the onion and garlic .
-Add the pumpkin chunks and turn them all over in the pot to cover them all with oil.
-Cover the pot, reduce the heat to medium low and let it all cook down to mush.
-Check it very occasionally and give it a stir. when it starts getting soft mash it up with the spoon.
-Once it is completely mushy, add the brown sugar and stir it all in.
-If it gets too runny, cook it longer to dry it out some. If it seems too dry (which I have never seen happen unless you cook it too hot) add just a dribble of water (And you know, I cook like this even if I have a cookbook, you'll have to learn to live with it.)
-When it's done it looks pretty gross, kinda like overly soft, mucousy, orange mashed potatoes...hungry yet? I still love this stuff!
-Serve it over rice and enjoy it!


Happy Trini Tuesday!

Who Should I Be for Halloween?

I'm having a hard time settling on a costume. I thought some quizzes might help me pinpoint it all, since they are so scientifically based. Here are my various results. Feel free to weigh in with your opinion or give me your own results.

You Are Jean Grey

Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death). Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally! Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Ok, She's cool. I could dig being Jean Grey. And let me say, if I WERE Jean Grey...I'd be all over Wolverine!

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times. You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Ok, Ernie was always one of my favorites. I have to say I loved how he could drive Bert right out of his mind. Bert was just too high strung and I do have a rather Ernie-like response to Bert-type personalities. Perhaps I am a wee tad more evil than Ernie.

My pirate name is:

Red Ethel Kidd

Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Arrgg, mateys! A woman pirate! I get me pick of the crew! Come aboard if ye be ready to serve under me, ye scurvy rats!

You scored as Maximus. After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus. Maximus is valiant, courageous, and dedicated. He wants nothing more than the chance to avenge his family, but his temper often gets the better of him.

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Another interesting set of results here. How does the same person come up as both Ernie and Maximus? I'm kinda scratching my head on that one...



I guess maybe it just proves the point of this last quiz...

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

Da Count

This will be a quickie and I'll let you all know my posting here and visits to your places may be spotty the next week and a half (or I may just meme and quiz you to death here). I have a dear friend visiting from Bolivia for a while. So I'll count that.

I've only been to Canada, Trinidad & Tobago, and Bolivia outside the USA. And I've been to about 35 US states. I'm so grateful to have had those opportunities. No direspect intended but my entire family lives within 10 miles of each other and i am considered quite the rebel for living a whole 90 miles away. That I'd voluntarily move overseas back when I did is completely beyond the scope of comprehension.

I can't tell how how seeing and experiencing different places has enriched me and expanded my perspective. When I have been fortunate enough to travel I try to really get the local feel. I might not miss the big attractions but I want to see the back alleys and the places only the locals know, the places that give a place its real flavor. I want the sights, sounds, tastes, noises that are distinctive and I want to see why a place is 'home' to the people who live there.

I've learned new ways to look at things and seen different ways of doing things. Different languages, different values, different priorities and perspectives all open your eyes if you allow them too. I can recall taking my Dad to the Hilton in Trinidad because friends had recommended the huge local buffet as a way to give him LOTS of different foods to try all at once and see a nice show. There was a lady there sniffing in disgust over the curries, beans, flat breads, fish broths, stewed chickens, stewed pumpkins and various unfamiliar treats. Honestly, there wasn't anything outrageous like fresh monkey brains. It was all quite standard fare, simply arranged or seasoned differently. All she wondered was where the American food was. I explained what things were and still she went away in disgust. She missed a GREAT meal.

So I am counting all the diversity I've been lucky enough to experience and learn from. I'm counting a chance to visit with my dear friend and maybe practice my Spanish a bit this week. And I'm counting those of you from far-flung corners who have shared with me the things that make you and your homes so different and special.

HNT-We Don't Need No Stinkin' Costumes

Halloween is just around the corner so everyone is thinking about what costumes they will wear. I don't worry about it much. I just brush my hair, shake it out, and 'VOILA!' instant costume.

Two for one. I decided to add the surgical incision too. More 'natural' Halloween costume. Pretty sutures and bruise eh?

Happy Halloween HNT

Weird O'Lanterns

Halloween fast approaches so in honor of the day I thouhgts I'd share some weird pumpkins I found. Some of them I wish I had thought of first!

Cannibalistic Jack O'Lantern

This one slays me because I'm pretty sure the carvers were inspired by Calvin & Hobbes snowmen. I love it.

This one 'cracks' me up because it's so 'cheeky.'

Ok, so far nothing truly horrifying or so awful you'd want to keep the kiddies away, but be warned. This next one is grotesque in its monstrosity...

If you REALLY want to see it, scroll down.

Just don't say you weren't warned...

That's right...

It's a Jacko Lantern.

*All images taken from Extreme Pumpkins.com

Trini Tuesday-lame excuse for such to follow

I was at a loss as to what to post about today. My incident with the bank this weekend provided a pathetic excuse for blog fodder....Banking in Trinidad.

When we moved there we of course needed to set up a bank account. We asked around and several folks we knew did their banking at Royal Bank and seemed generally satisfied. So off we went. We sat down with the lady in New Accounts and gave her all the necessary information. After all the forms and whatnot she came back with passbooks and then began to explain the checking account procedures.

At that time in Trinidad there were 2 kinds of checking accounts, secured and non-secured. The secured ones demonstrated you had a good history with a bank and everyone would accept checks from such an account. We were informed we were not eligible for such an account since we had no banking history in Trinidad. Ok, how long for the secured account? Six months. Ok, so for six months we used the non-secured account, never bounce a check and then we can get the secured account. I guess we can handle that.

So we go off with our happy little non-secured checking account and try to get utilities set up. Hhhhmmm, none of the utility companies will accept non-secured checks, too risky. Uuum, ok. Back to the bank to get cash to drive around to the utility offices to set up service.

Now we need to get some groceries. We've been to the fresh market and understandably that is cash only. We've gone on Saturdays to the plucking and gutting places so we could pick out a chicken for Sunday dinner....yeah, that one over there pecking at the food, we'll take her...half hour later she's plucked, gutted, and bagged up. Again, that's a cash only operation, no biggie. But we go to the Hi Lo supermarket for the non-perishables and such. Guess what? They don't take non-secured checks. Neither do the drug stores if you need medicine. Neither do mechanics if you need your car fixed. Basically, NO ONE on the island takes these checks. The bank may as well have issued us Monopoly money.

I'm not entirely sure how a person is suposed to establish banking history when no business will accept these lovely non-secured checks but we don't seem to have much choice. so for six months we go to withdraw cash before we have to do any transactions. No ATM cards were available to us either, that was all part of the whole secured account thing. Plus they were not quite as prevalent.

So we put up with this for 6 months then trot back to th bank and ask for a secured account. No, I'm sorry. You can't have one. You haven't been using the checks. Yes, that would be because people regard them as unacceptable. Well, I'm sorry, you'll have to go a few more months before we can authorize a secured account. We are less than thrilled by this.

Some days later we were chatting with a neighbor who worked at Scotia Bank. She said if we came to her bank she'd personally see to it that we were immediately given a secured account. We did and she did. It's who ya know, baby.

Happy Trini Tuesday.

A Word of Advice

If you happen to deposit checks from your health insurance company totalling almost $3000 dollars to pay for Occupational Therapy services and then you happen to write a personal check for the same amount to the organization providing OT services...

It's a REALLY good idea to make sure you put the deposit in your CHECKING account, not your SAVINGS account (amazing how forgetting one letter in your account number sequence can screw that up).

Husbands get a little teeny bit distressed when you make that mistake and have a bunch of other charges come back on you for 'insufficient funds.' (Honey, your BP is 200/110, and that vein on your forehead is looking REALLY huge, and um...is that smoke pouring out of your ears? Why are you shaking like that and foaming at the mouth?)

All reasonable offers of safe haven will be considered.

Friday 55 & Da Count-Diana

*today it's 55 syllables instead of words

Fair

red head

will of iron

freckle speckled

challenger of fools,

what will tame your wild heart

which runs free in the woodlands?

come now, and still yourself

beneath the silver moon

then wander in peace

brook-fed spirit

silent heart

woman

grow

Yesterday was opening day of the youth deer hunt here in Pennsylvania. I apologize to those readers who are anti-hunting. Our family eats what we take. It's cheap, organic meat that tastes better than beef. It's not about bloodsport. A trophy is not the goal, a full freezer is. We will get excited over a nice set of antlers but we won't pass up a good sized doe just to wait for a trophy rack.

Diana went out for her fourth hunting season and for the fourth year in a row she brought home a nice sized deer that will feed us for quite some time. For the fourth time she managed to bag her quarry within the first two hours of her first day out in the season. The kid really has done extremely well for herself and our family. Yes, she's a girl and she handles a .270 Ruger rifle with confidence and skill (and we are ADAMANT about safe handling since there is absolutely no room for error).

So for this week I want to count Diana. I'm counting her not just because she can hunt but for all of who she is. She came out of the chute 40 years old. She never considered that she was on anything less than equal footing with the rest of the world. She just assumed she was in charge. She told me when she was 3 that she knew more than I did and I should just be quiet and listen. It makes her quite 'interesting' to parent. All those grey hairs on my head? Diana is responsible for a LOT of them.

She has a very inquisitive mind. She wants to know WHY things are as they are. WHY are you asking her to do things a certain way? Good luck swaying her if you cannot convince her of the logic of your position. When she was nearly 4 and still refusing to be potty trained I asked her in exasperation WHY she wouldn't use the potty. In her own words she replied very matter-of-factly, 'Because I don't want you to control me.' Hand to God, I am not kidding you. That's what the kid said at the tender age of 3 1/2. It can be wearisome but I really do not worry about her bowing to peer pressure. She's got a good head on her shoulders and finds it quite laughable that someone would expect her to change in order to win their friendship.

She is very articulate too. She accepts that her peers don't always understand her. When she uses good vocabulary correctly and teachers give her strange looks she'll narrow her eyes and ask if she should use smaller words. She says exactly what she means and means exactly what she says. We are working on developing some level of diplomacy with her, not every opinion demands expression.

She'll soon be 16 but she never seemed to go through that horrendously self-conscious stage between 11-14. Even at that age she carried herself with more confidence than many adults. I was amazed at how comfortable she was in her own skin at that point.

She is utterly perseverant when it really matters to her. She's played trumpet for 5 years. She's been 2nd chair the whole time. She is determined to make first chair eventually. Even though there has been some clear favoritism going on toward the girl who is first chair (and this girl freely admits it) Diana has not given up and she has maintained a good friendship with the girl seated ahead of her. I can't tell you how proud I am that she's found the balance between pressing for excellence without stomping on people to be number one.

Sometimes it's easy to miss her tender side but she does have one. She works with the autistic son of a friend. The mother has trained her in the specific therapeutic activities he receives and Diana looks forward to her times with this boy. Her confidence helps keep him on task but her tenderness comes through in the smiles she gives and receives and the fun they have together.

She's done the same with me over the last few months as she's helped me with some of the things I need to do to get Janita working. She also proved she can keep cool in a crisis and do the things that need doing when I fell. She's been saying for a year that she wants to be a registered nurse. I didn't necessarily see her being gratified by sitting on a hospital floor shuffling paperwork and asked her about that. She looked at me as if to say, 'Duh, Mom!' and then she told me she wanted to be a trauma or a scrub nurse. I should have known...that would suit her well.

So this week, I'm counting my tenacious, strong-willed, articulate, bright, focused Diana. I'm so proud of her and I love her to bits.

HNT-Ack!

Well, this is going to be lame. I took this eons ago for an HNT the Krazy Blog Hijackers were going to do mimicking masterpieces of the art world. (Bonus points if you identify the masterpiece I'm aping) I didn't have time to do as I planned for this week because a Limelette was home sick and I was busy using up an entire box of tissues and praying to the porcelain god myself. This image is horrifying enough, I won't torture you all with one of me with bloodshot eyes, red nose, hair on end, and green around the gills...and no it is not because I overindulged. It's all germ-induced.

Of course, the expression of terror could also coincide with the panic that is beginning to set in regarding completion of the class I still need to finish from last Spring...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with some Nyquil, a barf bucket, and a textbook. Good times....

HHNT

Wednesday Rant

This is not going to be a typical funny Wednesday post. In fact there is nothing funny about it at all. I just need to get something off my chest.

This past weekend was homecoming. Should be a fun time right? School spirit, pride, and loyalty. Sometimes it goes too far. Apparently, before the football game some of our players had gone to a soccer match against our local rivals. There was the typical trash talk that occurs. Then players from the rival soccer team showed up at our homecoming and engaged in more trash talk and included insults to one of our football players' girlfriends. Ok, no big deal.

It seems after the football game, the offended player gather together some buddies, including a few guys from New York, and grabbed a few baseball bats to go beat up the soccer player who trashed his girlfriend. When they arrived at the boy's home and shouted for him to come out and take his lumps. The father called the police then went out to inform the angry group that they had best leave his property before the police arrived.

At this point, the group decided if they couldn't take the son they'd take the father and they smashed his head in with a baseball bat. They shattered every bone in the left side of the man's face and injured him badly enough that he had to be Med-Evac'ed to a trauma center. The man's neighbor, mayor of that community and athletic trainer to the rival high school, came to the man's defense when he saw what was occurring. The group was all too happy to turn their bats on this man as well and demolished one of his arms (shattered elbow, compound fractures).

Now, one would think that arrests of all guilty parties would be swift. In fact, most of the punk-ass thugs young men were carted away by police that evening. However, the main assailant, the one who organized the attack, evaded the authorities and none of his cohorts are cooperating with police. They refuse to name him as part of the group. There seems to be some question as to whether or not this kid will be arrested. Yes, I grasp the concept of rules of evidence and whatnot.

This group damn near killed one man (The man will live but it is unclear what sort of permanent brain damage he may suffer) and has crippled another, both of whom are well-respected members of the community, and they are entirely remorseless. They were not joyriding and had a bad accident. They were not in a spontaneous fight that got completely out of control. They planned for one person's blood and they took the blood of the people who interfered with their plans. This was not youthful stupidity. It was malicious, premeditated violence.

Years ago I worked at a maximum secure facility for juvenile delinquent boys. At that facility there were hardened boys who were armed robbers, murderers, rapists. They were violent repeat offenders who you knew would finish their time and end up 'graduating' to adult prison. There were others who had made really foolish choices that went horribly awry and they found themselves before a judge who threw the book at them. To be honest there were boys who'd had the book thrown at them because of their race or socio-economic background too.

That being said, a juvenile facilty is too good for these local guys. Try them as adults.

Trini Tuesday-Touch Me

One of the things I loved the most about Trinidadian culture was the touching. It's a thing that may drive a lot of Americans a bit crazy because we tend to have these strong senses of personal space and if someone 'invades' them we bristle, stiffen, recoil. Even Americans who may come from large families where there is lots of hugging and kissing and such tend to be standoffish about coming in physical contact with strangers. It's just an American thing. I don't know if it goes back to our puritanical roots or what but there it is. Now you add to it the growing germophobia and we are becoming icy and isolated.

In Trinidad, however, there isn't that standoffishness. Get on a maxi-taxi or better yet an H-car taxi, which is just an ordinary sedan, and you'll be flush up against a total stranger, shoulder to ankle contact. Your taxi mate will move over to give you space but they aren't going to act like they are climbing out the window to avoid touching you. It's just accepted that you'll be in close quarters. Go to the fresh market for your produce and you'l be bumped and jostled unapologetically. It's understood that it's crowded and you're going to come in contact. All this is with strangers.

If you are with friends, it may get even closer. In the States there is sometimes this whole dance of touch avoidance between genders. We don't want someone to get the wrong idea. In Trinidad, not so. My male friends would wrap me up in warm hugs, not some delicate A-frame where you lean in and only let shoulders graze, but welcoming, protective hugs.

In the US, even friends of the same gender (men especially, but even us ladyfolk) avoid certain kinds of touching because we don't want the people around us to get the idea we are 'more than friends.' Women can hug their female friends but we don't often publicly sit with arms around each other, nor would we often walk arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand. Grooming each other would be reserved for special events only, like a special party or a wedding. In Trinidad, I could freely maintain extended physical contact with a girlfriend and that was a good thing. Working on each other's hair was a normal thing among friends, not just reserved for school girls playing dress-up.

A lot of my Trini friends initially displayed a reserve in physical affection because I was an American and they knew Americans have different outlooks on the whole issue. When I didn't bristle from the taxi and market place jostlings with them they slowly became bolder. When I welcomed the gentle advances made, the walls came down. When there was no more shyness from either side and every casual touch was comfortable for each of us (and it actually occured in short order) I knew my heart had found it's home in Trinidad. My spirit could be refreshed and my soul fed by a simple, silent brush of skin.

Then I came back to the US. Much as I love Pennsylvania, I ache for the easy freedom of touch I felt in Trinidad.

Walk in the Woods*

*Nostalgic PA post warning for Lacquer

October is my favorite month of the year, bar none. With colors like this how can anyone not love it? That's a slice of heaven!

There's a slight nip in the air, but just enough to keep you cool on a hike up Mount Minsi (on the right. Mount Tammany is on the left).

Of course, if you're hiking in Pennsylvania, be prepared for a LOT of rocks and boulders. Folks who visit from other parts of the country are often stunned by how rocky it is here. The glaciers that moved through in the ice age are to thank. Not far from here there are boulder fields that are fun to romp around too.

Emerald green moss cushions a few spots.

Look, even our fungus is pretty!

A few lingering wildflowers still brighten the path before killing frosts occur.

Where the fairies live?

Aaaahhh, hope you enjoyed the hike as much as I did.

I uploaded to Blogger so you can do the clickety-click to see a larger image.

In other news, James and Susie were the high scorers in the Lime-tastic quiz. They shall be rewarded by either interviewing me, giving a blog topic, or having me post a PG-rated picture in a pose of their suggestion. Since Snavy and Logo collaborated to write the quiz, thus proving how well they know me, I'm going to reward them jointly with the same offer to tailor a post (can't imagine what the two of you will come up with...well, ok I can...I'm scared!) . So all four of you get your creativity flowing and let me know what you'd like.

Da Count-This One's For You

I want to thank everyone for the kind wishes yesterday. In addition to being my birthday it was also my first blogiversary. I gave myself the blog as my birthday present last year. I was desperately in need of some sort of creative outlet that was also cheap (i.e. free). What a year it's been! I don't think I really imagined what it might have been like. A little over a year ago, Snavy basically said, 'Ok, here's a blog we're going to do together, for fun.' She set the thing up and Insane Asylime was born. I was instantly addicted. I didn't really expect, even when I started this one, that it would go much beyond my few crazy fellow Blog Hijackers who I knew from Yahoo! Trivia. Susie, Logo, Breazy...you guys ROCK! Idiot, ya rock but ya gotta post, dude!

I started reading the folks Snavy pre-installed into the IA blogroll and found Brian, who has become a dear friend and who also encouraged me a lot when I said I was thinking of starting HOL, both with his specific urging for me to do my thing and by his own wonderful writing. I also discovered James, who is an amazing writer and who was so kind to leave such encouraging comments in the early days. The guy also blew me away by paying close enough attention to completely smoke the competition on the first 'Limer/Limeade' quiz way back in the beginning. These two guys were my first regular non-Yahoo! blog buddies and they've stayed for the ride so far and I just want to give them a special thanks for that.

Now, I hope the rest of you will forgive me for not specifically naming you all, I mean no slight to anyone. You see that list over on the side? Each one of you has become a part of this world of mine. You've expanded it exponentially by sharing your lives with me and sharing mine. You've exposed me to some places, people, ideas, music, books, art, and so many other things I would have missed had we not intersected in this vast internet. You've taught me things that have enriched me, challenged me to be a better person, encouraged me, laughed with me, sparked my creativity. You've touched me when you've shared the deepest parts of yourselves. May I thank each one of you and say I hope I've been able to return at least some of that to each of you.

A lot of you I discovered because you first said hello to me. A few of you I discovered first and you were kind enough to welcome me. Either way, thanks for the warm reception. It's been a wonderful first year thanks to all of you. Big hugs to each of you!

And if you are a lurker, please take the time to say hello, just this once, so I can greet you as well.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

P.S.

Snavy and Logo wrote another Limer/Limeade quiz and posted it at the Hijacked Blog. They did a great job. It's hilarious! I'd be willing to reward high scorers with a chance to determine a future post here...interview, topic, PG-rated pictures, if anyone is interested.

HNT & A Letter to My Birthmother

First of all, credit where it is due. During a conversation after this post, Mark gave me this idea. Thanks, my friend.

For those who wish to skip to the picture scroll to the bottom.

How do I even start,

'To whom it may concern' is totally impersonal. 'Dear Mom?' No, I have a mom. With your first name? I don't even know what it is. It's a conundrum. I guess I'll skip that part. We share this day, you and I. It's definitely the weirdest day of the year for me. That's not a bad thing. It's just what it is. I don't dread birthdays like some folks. I do always need some time alone though. I need time to step away and consider you, pray for you as I wonder what today means to you.

I do wonder. Things are so different nowadays. Young girls get pregnant and keep their babies all the time. An out of wedlock birth is not the social stigma it was when you had me. Mom and Dad always spoke of you with respect. I think you need to know that. They never hid the truth, so far as they knew it, from me. They told me you made the choice you did based on my welfare, motivated by love. They told me you picked them for me. Thank you.

I wonder about more. Back when you had me and there was all this stigma, I know you went to a maternity home. I've read about them. I know that in that era there was almost no preparation for the emotional aftermath you'd face. They were safe places to go and wait. You were supposed to have me, surrender me, go away silently, and never speak of things. As long as you played by those rules everyone would play along and you'd be accepted back into polite society. Those are shitty rules. (You can thank Dad for encouraging my unvarnished expression of opinions. Was there some seed of that in you or my birthfather that was encouraged to grow by Dad?) I wonder because I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you so I hope there were some compassionate people around you.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter it was a real eye opener. I'd celebrate each new sensation and then wonder how it was for you. I had a loving husband and very excited grandparents-to-be who wanted to hear about the developments. But I wondered, how scary was that positive pregnancy test for you? Was the morning sickness doubly torturous? Did my first kick strike your heart with fear or sadness or something else? Did your growing belly make you want to hide? Were you alone as you labored? Were all those things that should be moments of joy tinged with sadness?

There are some weird ideas about adoptees and adoptive parents out there. I could write a book on it. That being said, I have to follow it by letting you know the comments I've heard about birthmothers are far worse. Some judgemental prig might sniff, 'Oh, how can anyone just give their baby away like that?' or 'Well, the bad girl made her bed, now she can sleep in it.' I'm so sorry for whatever hurtful comments you've ever had to endure whether they were from your own family, or acquaintances, or anyone else. I really want to know you've lived a good life. I hope if you wanted a family you had a happy one when the time was right.

When I was very little I was threatened by the thought that you existed. I thought it meant someone else had a claim on me. That was upsetting. As a teen I thought I just HAD to know who you were so I could figure out where did the gap in my front teeth come from, (that gap that closed up when my wisdom teeth came in and I got to keep them...who gets to keep their wisdom teeth???), and why don't I have a proper toenail on my pinky toe, and this goofy wartlike bump on my one hand, and that mole over by my...well, if you have the same mole you know where...and why my hair is such an unruly mess (who gives a kid weird genes like that?). And my sense of humor, my parents, bless them both, neither one really ever GOT my sense of humor. They accept it but they both still look at me like I've got 3 heads sometimes. Is that you? They aren't big things, but they are curiosities. Mom will tell you, my curiosity could at times drive her insane.

So I was sure I'd look. But I didn't. I realized I was afraid of what I might find. I prepared for the worst. I got ready for you to deny you'd given birth to me. I prepared for a door to be shut in my face. I was all good with that. Then I thought, what if she welcomes me with open arms and then doesn't want to let go? That was a little more disconcerting. That held me back, because I have a mother and a father (the ones you gave me) and I am not looking to replace them. They've given their blessing, but I know Mom is a bit unnerved about it all. I certainly don't want to cause anyone pain, not her, not you. So I've held back.

But sometimes I think I'm almost ready...maybe. I don't want to barge in and cause disruption. I want to do things decently, respectfully. And if I ever do look for you I want to look from a place of contentment. I want to mostly say thanks. I want you to know I am happy and well. I want to know you are too.

I want to wish you peace, and love, and joy...today, most of all.

Sometimes I look in my own eyes and wonder. I know my complexion comes from your Greek lover. Would my eyes remind you of his? Do I speak with them the way he did or would he say I have the same spark in mine that you had in yours? If you saw my face would it be a darker reflection of yours or would you recoil from the image of a man who abandoned you? Sometimes I look and I wonder...What would it be like to look into your eyes?

Happy HNT

Weird News Wednesday and an Update

I saw the doctor yesterday and had the sutures removed. He took more x-rays. After months of looking at pictures of my arm with all sorts of metal in it it was strange to see unadorned bones with holes in them where the pins used to be. So the good news is, things are healing nicely. The not so good news is now that the metal is out and there is an unobstructed view of the bone the doctor says he can see permanent damage to the bone that will continue causing problems (i.e. pain and loss of motion) in my wrist. He wasn't even going to send me back to therapy to work on it anymore and I said, 'No way! I went through this surgery to gain more use of my wrist and there is all sorts of post surgical stiffness and pain that needs to be worked through. I cannot rotate my wrist nor can I bear weight on it. I want therapy until it is demonstrated I will not make any more gains.' He ordered more.

In my mind I want to at least regain what I had BEFORE this last surgery. The two big goals that were unmet at that time were being able to play my guitar and being able to bear weight. I still have those goals. If I never gain any more wrist rotation I'll have to learn to play left handed. Ok, such is life. But bearing weight is still a big thing. Any hands and knees activity, bicycling, anything where I need to lean on both hands or lean on one and use the other, is more or less not happening...partly due to pain, partly due to inability to extend my wrist. Pain? Well, I guess we'll see what happens there though I am going to look into non-drug alternatives since tylenol doesn't cut it and narcotics are too strong (deathly allergic to aspirin therefore told to avoid ibuprofen & naproxen so that whole class of things flies out the window). Ok, enough of this.....I still have most of my function back even if it is modified, it's my non-dominant hand, I've come a long way already, etc. There's much more good than bad. I'm mostly just a tad annoyed by the way the doc seemed like he was trying to avoid the issue. He hasn't done that before so it threw me off.

In other news.....

GRAND HAVEN, Mich. - Ottawa County will pay about $40,000 to correct an embarrassing typo on its Nov. 7 election ballot: The "L" was left out of "public." A total of 170,000 ballots will have to be reprinted. The mistake appeared in the text of a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would ban some types of affirmative action. The word "public" was misspelled one of the six times it appears, county Clerk Daniel C. Krueger said Tuesday. Five or six people in his office had proofread the ballot, but it was an election clerk who found the mistake early last week. "It's just one of those words," Krueger said. "Even after we told people it was in there, they still read over it."

Personally, I think they should leave it as is. I think they just found a way to increase voter turnout. Every election should have a spot the typo feature. Can you imagine the snickering in the booths when voters find the typo for this one?

This typo alone is so rich with possibilities in municipal elections. There could be referendums on funding of Pubic Libraries, increase in the budget for the Pubic Works Department, the decision to build a new Pubic Welfare Office. There's also the highly debated need for more Pubic Parks complete with Pubic walking and bicycling trails. Clearly I am terribly puerile to enjoy this so much.


UPDATE: Ok, I've been playing here. This gender guesser makes a prediction based on your writing style. I've run about a dozen blog entries through it and only come out as weakly female on about 4 of them. The rest are weakly male or off the chart male. Does this mean I need to blog with a deeper voice? Or do I have to stand up when I blog? I'm so confused...

Pennsylvania German Tuesday

Trini Tuesday will be back next week, but this week I wanted to share part of my heritage and cultural roots.

As I mentioned yesterday, two of the kids and I worked at a historical fall festival this weekend. It's a working historical farm that is run according to the early 19th century standards used by Pennsylvania Germans (who are also commonly called Pennsylvania Dutch because in German they called themselves deutsch ).

All three of my kids have done apprenticeships at the farm during the summer. All of them enjoy going out there and stepping back in time for the day even though it means wearing strange clothes. My son's costume was given to us by someone who outgrew his old one. I sewed the costumes the girls and I wear. I love that my kids get a chance to learn about their own heritage and what makes it unique and special. I love that they've each been able to see some value in the old ways and see that there are some things that should be included in modern life.

Ok, here I am in my little 19th century PA dutch farmer's wife outfit. Bonnet on head, the blouse is called a short gown and is fastened with straight pins and a drawstring at the waist. That's right, no buttons, zippers or snaps, straight pins. The green scarf around my neck is called a fichu (FEE-shoo) and is basically a modesty garment that also provides a little warmth in cooler months. I have my apron and wooly socks too. It may be hard to see since I'm doing my silly curtsey but the skirt, called a petticoat, only reaches mid-calf length. Although we tend to think of women from the 1800s and earlier as wearing floor-skimming dresses those were really reserved for the women who didn't live on and work on farms. No farm woman wanted her skirt trailing the floor while she milked cows or mucked stalls. And lest I forget, the fabric these garments would have been made from was called linsey-woolsey. It was a blend of linen and wool that was durable but scratchy as you please. Mine is cotton, since linsey-woolsey isn't exactly widely available anymore (I think I'm glad for that).

Under my apron is my pocket. Petticoats didn't have pockets so the ladies wore these fastened around their waists over the shortgown and under the apron. Often they were embroidered with initials or other designs. I left mine plain. Ladies might carry some dried fruits or nuts for snacking, sewing scissors, handkerchiefs, or whatever little items they might need through the day. I hid my decidedly modern cellphone in my pocket on festival day.

The bonnet was an important part of a woman's wardrobe and even girls were expected to wear them. Obviously these weren't going to protect from the sun like a prairie bonnet would. The Pennsylvania Dutch wove rye straw bonnets for that. The simple white bonnets were worn during waking moments as a sign of piety and modesty. Since Scriptures exhort us to 'pray continually' and women were to pray with their heads covered the bonnet was necessary to indicate a practice of constant prayer and remind the wearer that whatever she did was to be done as for the Lord. Hair was to be kept long but not worn loose (that would indicate loose morals AND get in the way in the barn), always neatly tucked inside the bonnet.

It's an odd process donning this whole outfit but as each piece goes on I feel a bit of modernity slip away and I take one more step back in time. Once dressed, I move differently than I would in my jeans, tie dyes, and Birkenstocks. I'm not dainty in it and I doubt anyone would describe the look as becoming but there is a decided practical (not froufrou....good heavens, that might kill me) femininity that takes over. You can see it in the men at the farm too. Ambiguity evaporates as everyone takes on the well defined traditional roles that cloak our 21st century personas.

Random Bullets of Crap*

*concept shamelessly ripped from Sheri.

• Isaac, Calypso, and I worked at a local historical site during their festival this weekend. It's the site's biggest fundraiser of the year but it's still a very cheap day out where you can see a lot of interesting demonstrations about life on an early 19th century Pennsylvania German farm. I sold tickets for the one room schoolhouse program. They were fifty cents a pop. I told you, CHEAP! So, if you have spent googobs of money to drive here from NYC, you are wearing designer clothes and shoes, and you have a manicure and hairdo that look like they belong in a magazine don't tell me 50 cents is too expensive. Just tell me you're not really interested.
• I love funnel cake, apple dumplings, and warm cider.
• Indigo dye requires that the fiber being dyed first be soaked in ammonia. When indigo was first used, the only source was urine. London dyers paid top dollar for the first morning urine of little boys, apparently it had the highest concentration of ammonia. I learned that this weekend. Aren't you glad I shared?
• When the leaves are changing and there is a cloudless blue sky that is a picture of heaven.
• When you have a big scar or sutures showing it seems to be an invitation for strangers to tell you about all the garish medical procedures they've endured. I'm glad I have a strong stomach.
• This picture is exactly why George Clooney makes me drool. The sparkle in his eyes, the mischeivous grin, and the greying hair all make him quite droolworthy. Yes, I dig the grey hair. I like that he's bucking Hollywood standards and letting it go grey. Have I mentioned this may be the only time I've ever wished to be a skinny blonde instead of an ample brunette?

• I must be officially old because although I've always been a sucker for beards on men, I now think flecks of grey or even all grey beards are sexy. Oh, and in case the fellows out there are saying, 'Yeah, but she only digs it if it's on a guy who looks like Clooney.' Nope, there' s a guy at my post office with a receding hairline (grey) and more than a bit of middle aged paunch who makes me all weak in the knees too. It's the spark of devilment in the eyes and grin that just does me in every time. I think I need to go buy some stamps today.
• It doesn't matter if you have said the same thing 6 times a day for 3 years or not. Your children will still look at you as if it is a new edict when you tell them that immediately inside the front door is not where shoes, bookbags, coats, and musical instruments belong.
• I am the Queen of Procrastinators. The incomplete I took on my Library Management course back in April when I fell, expires at the end of this month. I have 4 assignments and a term project to do. That should motivate me, but I'm still waiting for panic to set in.
• UPDATE AT 1PM: It's one of those slice of heaven days, warm and gorgeous. It's a perfect day to ride a motorcycle all around the twisting, winding back roads. Drive up into the hills in a meandering way. Take a hike under a canopy of fall leaves. Throw a blanket down on a crunchy but soft bed of pine needles when the hike is over and well.....just enjoy. Sigh, I really need to get Janita working so I can get my license one day.

Have a happy Monday.

Friday 55 & Da Count-The Girls

FRIDAY 55

*a story in 55 words

'Last time, Sweetie.' she cooed as she offered her breast to her wee one. Her eyes met her lastborn's and she reminisced. She remembered the first time she'd breastfed each child, the times they'd slept in her arms after a full belly. She smiled...

CHOMP!

Devlish eyes caught hers. The imp knew he'd been weaned!

*Mother Love by David Kreider

DA COUNT

*where we count what we do have instead of complaining about what we don't have...click the sidebar button to play along

For Da Count this week, I'm taking a bit of a cue from Cosima's post last week (celebrating all things feminine) and Breast Cancer Awarenss Month. I'm counting 'the girls.' They're not as perky as they once were (I think they were perky for about 20 minutes when I was 16). I nursed each of my kids until they were between 15 and 18 months old mainly for health and economic reasons.

There were times I wished my breasts were on velcro (none of the kids would accept a bottle of breastmilk, I tried.) so I could occasionally manage a little more time to myself. For the most part, I loved being able to nurse my kids though and sometimes that's a part of having babies I miss a lot. It's just tender and close and it amazed me that I could sustain another tiny human being in that way. By the way, the longer you breastfeed the lower your risk for developing breast cancer but I certainly won't hassle anyone who chooses the bottle instead.

I like that even though my kids are 15,13, and 11 they sometimes still cuddle up to me and lay their heads on my chest when they need some comfort. It makes me giggle when one of them tells me I have good 'cushions.'

And lest I forget, but without being outre, I'm also counting the pleasure they can give and receive in private moments.

Let's hear it for the girls!

Weird Picture Wednesday

No news today but I found some pictures that are just weird and weirder...this for example...


*swiped from Yahoo! news

Has Chilly Willy developed some sort of terrorist tendencies that are only now coming to light?


Or how about this?


*swiped from madville.com

Did this poor girl pass out drunk and have people sabotage her head? Although she IS smiling. Gads, I'd hate to think she paid money for that hairdo.


And this lady?


*swiped from Yahoo! news

Yes, those are her real fingernails. This is just bizarre. I mean there is no way she could have combed her own hair, or put on that shirt or pair of leather pants without help. Good heavens there's no way this woman could possibly wipe her own arse!


This last one is just plain disturbing...



*swiped from celestialblue.blogspot.com

Hung like a.....crimony, I just can't say it!

Ok folks, feel free to add some captions or something to these weird pictures. It's all just fodder for the imagination.

Trini Tuesday-Rain, rain, go away

Tl reminded me of rainy season this week so I thought I'd talk a little about that. Also, up until yesterday I was pretty sure we were having rainy season here in Pennsylvania. I think we are finally drying out a bit.

Growing up in Pennsylvania, I was accustomed to 4 distinct seasons. There is something very comforting about that rhythm and something wonderful about the variety of seasons and weather we can get here.

Not so in Trinidad. In the tropics you get two seasons, rainy and dry. In Trinidad the dry season generally lasts from January to May, the rainy season lasts from June to December. that's not to say it never rains during the dry season or that it rains constantly during the rainy season. It just means the heaviest rains come during the rainy season.

During the rainy season it ususally rains some every day and some of the rain is so hard it is mind boggling. I never saw rain like I saw in Trinidad. Our house, like a lot of others, was concrete block with a corrugated metal roof. And when I am telling you it rained hard I mean it rained so hard that it was deafening inside the house. I could be standing next to Mr. Lime and have to shout to be heard during some of the more powerful downpours. The first time I experienced a rain like that I thought the roof would be coming down on my head. And yet, I could often keep the windows to the house open during a down pour because the rain just came straight down. It didn't blow all around and come in the windows as long as you had half decent eaves on the roof.

Another strange thing for a Pennsylvania girl is recognizing that grey skies don't mean it's going to be a cool, wrap up in an afghan and sip a mug of tea sort of afternoon. It was still (to my way of thinking and my pregnant self, which I recognize skews all perception) beastly hot. It was still the tropics and no amount of grey skies meant you were going to get chilly...well, unless you are a born Trini, in which case you need a quilt when it is 70F degrees at night.

Just like we have what we call 'Indian Summer' (a couple weeks of warmer temperatures and clear sunny skies after autumn has set in) in these northern climates, Trinidad has what is called 'Petit Carem.' Petit Carem is a period of two to four weeks of unseasonably hot and dry weather during the rainy season (usually September). Everyone puts away their umbrellas for a bit, dries out, and enjoys the sunshine before it's back to many more weeks of rain. It's like a mental health break from all the rain falling.

Now perhaps the thing I enjoyed most about rainy season in Trinidad (and it certainly wasn't trying to get laundry to dry on the line!) was all the things one could be excused from because 'rain fallin.'

Gyul, why yuh did not make it to sunday dinner?
Oh gosh, Mummy! Rain was fallin'!

Sistah Flora, we did miss yuh singing in church dis mornin.'
Yes, yes, but rain was fallin' yuh know?'

Mr. Charles, it seems you are late for work again.
Yes sir, but rain was fallin'.

Now on the matters of a good fete (party) "rain was fallin'" is an excuse only used if one was seeking to avoid other attendees of said fete. Otherwise...Let we fete because rain is fallin' and what else is dey to do?

Happy Trini Tuesday!

The Mother of all Memes

Mini Update: I'm eating normally again. I had pizza when I could finally eat and boy did it taste good. I'm also really pleased with how my fingers are moving, much better than I expected. The wrist is stiff but the only real pain is right around the incision so that's also much better than I expected. I know I was a nervous, whiny mess last week and I just want to thank you all again for all the support and encouragement.

I don't remember where I saw this but I copied it and stuck it in my drafts for when I felt lazy. Today's your lucky day. Seems a cheap way to thank you all for your supportive comments and emails over the past few days but hopefully it at least gives you a little chuckle here and there. If you decided to swipe it from me let me know so I can come read your answers.

1. DO YOU SNORE?
When I have a cold, yes

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Yes to both

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Something awful happening to my children.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I did envy my brother's legos. What would Dr, Freud say?

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
Unreal

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Why would I??

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
You be the judge

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
It's better to be single than to wish you were.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
It's more fun to torture people within earshot.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! You know how well I do with ziplines. Are you trying to kill me?

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
If I told you then I'd have to kill you.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
A few inches below my belly button (I saw this answer somewhere else and I am stealing it)

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
no

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
yes

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOSTIE POP?
Lick, lick, lick....CRUNCH! Three licks.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Yes, useless skills are my specialty, have you not seen my HNTs?

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPERS?
Manual, you could blame it on my Pennsylvania Dutch upbringing. Then again I have a 50 year old manual pencil sharpener that works better than any electric I've ever seen.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
We eat what we hunt and do our own butchering. My daughter has been hunting since she was 13. I prefer venison to beef. We are absolute sticklers for proper handling and storage of firearms and ammunition because there is ZERO room for error. We do not poach and I do not agree with trophy hunting.

I do NOT appreciate NYC government going after local Pennsylvania gun dealers who I know to be reputable and who abide by the law simply because some thug in NYC used a gun he stole from someone who bought it legally in PA. If you kept your own damned criminals in prison we'd all be happier.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
Ummm, it's in my past and present...so I'd say that's an affirmative.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I've got other character issues I spend more time considering

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Much to every medical professional's dismay I'm allergic to aspirin, penicillin, and morphine. I'm also allergic to bananas and kiwi, which I only found out this week usually indicates a latex allergy, but so far I've never reacted to latex. To the exceding disappointment of my kids I am allergic to cats and dogs. I can't seem to convince them that lizards and snakes can be fun pets.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU" ?
To my kids this morning when I put them on the bus.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Rarely

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
In my ovaries

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Every blonde I've ever met was able to speak.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
They transmogrify into wire coat hangers.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
7:43 am

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
My name isn't Nick

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Extremely, I avoid it and most fast food places like the plague.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Saturday

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Long, hot, drain the water-heater showers.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
St Nicholas is.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
*shivers* Oh, yes, very much....more please...

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Sometimes

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Chocolate

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy with some marshmallow fluff. Nothing like a fluffer nutter sammich.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Why would I want to??

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Yes, AND a med-evac helicopter all on the same day!

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
I dunno, right now I'm awfully glad for Vicodin.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Driver's license says brown. An Iranian friend once said they were the color of rich honey. I think I prefer the poetic description.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Beats the alternative

51. WHO'S BETTER?
What kind of stupid question is this?

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Like Daphne from 'Frasier'

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
No

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS ?
Depends on your definition of 'play.'

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I emptied Mr. Lime's coin cup after he cleaned out my wallet without me knowing, so it's your call.

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
You really are trying to kill me aren't you?

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
As long as I'm camping with people who prepare but who are not overly prissy about the whole thing. If you're going to eek over every bug and getting dirt under your nails, just do us a favor and stay home. I'll go without a toilet but if you think I'm going to forage for berries and rodents you're outta yer mind.

58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Occasionally, but usually I go into what my son calls 'hyena mode.'

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I believe in miracles

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
There's a loyalty in dogs that doesn't often exist in man, but they make me sneeze and itch.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I believe it's better than homicide.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Is there a demand for this skill?

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Hahahahahaha!!!!! Yes

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It's a lovely early fall day. Trinis would call it frigid, Norwegians might call it balmy. I call it perfect.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Bran flakes with blueberries and skim milk and a glass of OJ.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Only on my toes

67. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
You're asking me to do math at this hour of the morning?

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
All drug commercials, all ambulance chaser commercials, anything where that orange-glo guy is screaming at me.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
They don't sell clothes for women with curves, so no.

70. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Hhhmmm......new stuff? The Word by Prince