It's been a crazy week. My mother-in-law has been here since Sunday and will be here a few more days. Also, as you know, my uncle has been in our local hospital even though he lives over 90 miles away. He became very ill while on vacation in our area and is just being discharged today. My cousins live near him and in Virginia so they have had quite the week as well, with travelling and being away from home.
My one cousin left the hospital late at night on Wednesday and found, in the middle of a torrential storm, that she had a flat tire. Mr. Lime went over to change it for her and we kept it at our house until we could take it to the tire shop for her the next day. Today when I stopped by my uncle's room she told me the service manager refused to allow her to pay for fixing the tire.. He told her just to take care of her dad and get home safely but if she felt she had to she could tip the fellow who did the actual work. She also told me about a nurse on the floor who seemed to go the extra mile to make sure her dad and the rest of the family was comfortable during his stay.
This week I'm counting Mr. Lime, the service manager, and the nurse who all went out of their way to help my family members in an emergency and extended time of need. A big thanks to each of them.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Meme-alicious
Ok, this has been sitting in drafts forever just in case of posting emergency so you lucky, lucky people get it today since my mother-in-law is visiting and I don't have time to actually be thoughtful and creative. I omitted the questions that didn't interest me. Feel free to submit questions to replace the missing ones and I'll gladly work my peculiar brand of meme weirdness on them next week.
1.What's your name spelt backwards?
eman ruoy
2. What did you do last night?
Sat at the hospital with my cousins and aunt waiting for word on my uncle.
3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Wouldn't YOU like to know...
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
A pool of what?
6. What are you wearing?
Is there a particular reason I have to be wearing anything? Is there a dress code for memes?
7. How many cars have you owned?
There's a giant box of Hot Wheels in my son's closet, do I really have to drag it out and count them all??
8. Type of music you dislike most?
Anything screechy, dissonant and repetetive
9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes, but I refuse to declare a party because I think they are universally full of shit and only interested in maintaining their own power as opposed to actually serving constituents. I vote every November though.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Sky diving definitely, bungee jumping maybe...the snap back of the bungee cord looks whiplash inducing and I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt.
17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Calvin & Hobbes and Far Side, though Foxtrot and Zits are acceptible alternatives since Bill Waterson and Gary Larsen stopped publishing.
18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
Which one, USA, Canada, Trinidad & Tobago, Australia, Tuvalu, Croatia, Malawi? What? Can you be more specific?
19. Shower, morning or night?
Shower me with love, gifts, or money any time of the day you see fit. It's all good.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Well, it sure wasn't Shrek 3
21. Favorite pizza toppings?
Green peppers and onions then sprinkle crushed red pepper and garlic powder on it...who wants a kiss? Anyone?
22. Chips or popcorn?
Blue chip stocks...
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
How's the high and what's it like coming down off them?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Have YOU been smoking peanut shells?
27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
Well, like Jessica was going to sit with me until Ashley was like all snotty and stuff and then I said like you know if she was going to be that way I didn't want to sit with them you know? And so like Jessica got all in my face about it and she said she liked Ashley better anyway. And like I don't really care because Jessica thinks she is all that and we all know she isn't, you know? So like anyway, I was at the same table as that smelly kid from 3rd period geography, only I made sure there was an empty seat between us so it's not like I really sat WITH him, you know?
28. Favorite chocolate bar?
Whichever one I am eating at the moment.
29. Who is your longest friend and how long?
I don't generally ask my guy friends this question. It's a bit personal.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Have you forgotten the Tale of the Golden Phallus?
33. Favorite computer game?
Sneaking around to disconnect and hide one necessary cord or changing the desktop to read like a ticking bomb.
34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
Well no, but lately I have been feeling the need to dust my face with minerals, watch a robot vacuum bump into walls, enhance someone's manhood, squeegee my car, and get some really pesky blod stains out of my laundry....
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
Oh gads yes, when I worked in the laundry of a nursing home I had to wear the most hideous pink nightmare.
***ALERT TO G-MAN: SCROLL DOWN NOW AND SKIP THIS QUESTION!!!!***
38. Ever thrown up in public?
Oh Lordy yes. In Hawaii during an all day trip on a catamaran to watch dolphins. Horked over the side of the boat. Thought maybe if I got into the water at the snorkelling destination the cool water would help my poor seasick tummy. I was very wrong. Have you ever puked through a snorkel? I don't recommend it. (Now just TRY to get that image out of your mind...)
On the upside, all the pretty tropical fishies love it and will swim very close to you so you can appreciate their lovely colors as you struggle back to the boat. Your snotty teenaged boatmates, however, will refer to you as 'puke-girl' for the rest of the day. Mercifully, a kindly octogenarian lady with gigantic sunglasses will take pity on you and offer dramamine which has expired over a year ago. Nonetheless, you will gobble down the maximum dose and then some before retiring to the center of the boat for the remainder of the 8 hour trip so you can sit an moan in relative peace where there is the least amount of felt motion.
Oddly, a week later I was on a boat in San Francisco Bay when the water was extremely rough and half of the passengers were turning green but I felt fine. Go figure.
***IT'S SAFE TO READ AGAIN***
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
True love is the greatest wealth
43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
I had very long hair until my folks divorced because my dad wouldn't let my mom cut my hair. When he left, she scalped me.
45. Where would you like to go right now?
Wouldn't you like to know...
Oh, and just in case anyone wondered....
$4225.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth
1.What's your name spelt backwards?
eman ruoy
2. What did you do last night?
Sat at the hospital with my cousins and aunt waiting for word on my uncle.
3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Wouldn't YOU like to know...
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
A pool of what?
6. What are you wearing?
Is there a particular reason I have to be wearing anything? Is there a dress code for memes?
7. How many cars have you owned?
There's a giant box of Hot Wheels in my son's closet, do I really have to drag it out and count them all??
8. Type of music you dislike most?
Anything screechy, dissonant and repetetive
9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes, but I refuse to declare a party because I think they are universally full of shit and only interested in maintaining their own power as opposed to actually serving constituents. I vote every November though.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Sky diving definitely, bungee jumping maybe...the snap back of the bungee cord looks whiplash inducing and I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt.
17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Calvin & Hobbes and Far Side, though Foxtrot and Zits are acceptible alternatives since Bill Waterson and Gary Larsen stopped publishing.
18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
Which one, USA, Canada, Trinidad & Tobago, Australia, Tuvalu, Croatia, Malawi? What? Can you be more specific?
19. Shower, morning or night?
Shower me with love, gifts, or money any time of the day you see fit. It's all good.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Well, it sure wasn't Shrek 3
21. Favorite pizza toppings?
Green peppers and onions then sprinkle crushed red pepper and garlic powder on it...who wants a kiss? Anyone?
22. Chips or popcorn?
Blue chip stocks...
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
How's the high and what's it like coming down off them?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Have YOU been smoking peanut shells?
27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
Well, like Jessica was going to sit with me until Ashley was like all snotty and stuff and then I said like you know if she was going to be that way I didn't want to sit with them you know? And so like Jessica got all in my face about it and she said she liked Ashley better anyway. And like I don't really care because Jessica thinks she is all that and we all know she isn't, you know? So like anyway, I was at the same table as that smelly kid from 3rd period geography, only I made sure there was an empty seat between us so it's not like I really sat WITH him, you know?
28. Favorite chocolate bar?
Whichever one I am eating at the moment.
29. Who is your longest friend and how long?
I don't generally ask my guy friends this question. It's a bit personal.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Have you forgotten the Tale of the Golden Phallus?
33. Favorite computer game?
Sneaking around to disconnect and hide one necessary cord or changing the desktop to read like a ticking bomb.
34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
Well no, but lately I have been feeling the need to dust my face with minerals, watch a robot vacuum bump into walls, enhance someone's manhood, squeegee my car, and get some really pesky blod stains out of my laundry....
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
Oh gads yes, when I worked in the laundry of a nursing home I had to wear the most hideous pink nightmare.
***ALERT TO G-MAN: SCROLL DOWN NOW AND SKIP THIS QUESTION!!!!***
38. Ever thrown up in public?
Oh Lordy yes. In Hawaii during an all day trip on a catamaran to watch dolphins. Horked over the side of the boat. Thought maybe if I got into the water at the snorkelling destination the cool water would help my poor seasick tummy. I was very wrong. Have you ever puked through a snorkel? I don't recommend it. (Now just TRY to get that image out of your mind...)
On the upside, all the pretty tropical fishies love it and will swim very close to you so you can appreciate their lovely colors as you struggle back to the boat. Your snotty teenaged boatmates, however, will refer to you as 'puke-girl' for the rest of the day. Mercifully, a kindly octogenarian lady with gigantic sunglasses will take pity on you and offer dramamine which has expired over a year ago. Nonetheless, you will gobble down the maximum dose and then some before retiring to the center of the boat for the remainder of the 8 hour trip so you can sit an moan in relative peace where there is the least amount of felt motion.
Oddly, a week later I was on a boat in San Francisco Bay when the water was extremely rough and half of the passengers were turning green but I felt fine. Go figure.
***IT'S SAFE TO READ AGAIN***
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
True love is the greatest wealth
43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
I had very long hair until my folks divorced because my dad wouldn't let my mom cut my hair. When he left, she scalped me.
45. Where would you like to go right now?
Wouldn't you like to know...
Oh, and just in case anyone wondered....
$4225.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth
Mingle2 - Online Dating
Ever Have a Day Like This?
No fewer than 4 times I gave one Limelette the clear and direct instruction to clean up the kitchen after having baked and then go take a shower. Then Mr. Lime came to me and asked what she was to do and I told him, yet neither of these brain damaged individuals seemed to be able to comprehend that. Perhaps I was speaking in Swahili when I thought I was using standard English. Thank God my mother-in-law is here and could actually verify that I had truly given that instruction so clearly, directly and so many times. (That's right, my fellow Hijackers and those in the know, I said, 'Thank God she is here.')
Ya know, some days getting the simplest things done feels about like this....
In other news, I had another epiphany during a crisis Monday night. My great uncle was rushed to my local hospital even though it's not near where he lives. He was up here for a long weekend and had trouble. I ran over to lend moral support to my cousin. As my uncle was in ICU I watched his sisters, my 2 great aunts quarrel at his bedside in much the same manner my 2 teenage daughters would go at each other. It was not a serious disagreement and they are very close to each other. It merely gave me insight into sister dynamics. Since I have no sisters, Mr. Lime has no sisters, and neither of our mothers have sisters the whole cat fighting between sisters who actually love each other is a conundrum to me and often makes me wonder if mine really do love each other and whether or not they will be close when they are grown. I figure if my two aunts who would do anything for each other can go at each other like teenagers when they are both in their 80s (to the extent that I respectfully ejected them from my uncle's room so he and the other patients could rest peacefully) I guess there is hope for my girls and I can not worry quite so much as I do.
Good news is that after a big scare all signs are positive for my uncle at this point even though they are still trying to figure out what caused certain symptoms.
I wonder what tomorrow's grand enlightenment will be?
Ya know, some days getting the simplest things done feels about like this....
In other news, I had another epiphany during a crisis Monday night. My great uncle was rushed to my local hospital even though it's not near where he lives. He was up here for a long weekend and had trouble. I ran over to lend moral support to my cousin. As my uncle was in ICU I watched his sisters, my 2 great aunts quarrel at his bedside in much the same manner my 2 teenage daughters would go at each other. It was not a serious disagreement and they are very close to each other. It merely gave me insight into sister dynamics. Since I have no sisters, Mr. Lime has no sisters, and neither of our mothers have sisters the whole cat fighting between sisters who actually love each other is a conundrum to me and often makes me wonder if mine really do love each other and whether or not they will be close when they are grown. I figure if my two aunts who would do anything for each other can go at each other like teenagers when they are both in their 80s (to the extent that I respectfully ejected them from my uncle's room so he and the other patients could rest peacefully) I guess there is hope for my girls and I can not worry quite so much as I do.
Good news is that after a big scare all signs are positive for my uncle at this point even though they are still trying to figure out what caused certain symptoms.
I wonder what tomorrow's grand enlightenment will be?
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Epiphany
Mr. Lime and I attended an informal reunion of college pals this weekend. Most of the folks we hadn't seen in 15-20 years. It was a really terrific time to reconnect for a bit. I looked forward to it and was not disappointed in any way.
One thing I didn't expect was an epiphany of sorts as I listened to a particualr individual discuss another person in my life who has caused me rather a lot of unhappiness over the last 18 years. I can't really elaborate because it would not be fair to the people involved. It's just a very odd and amazing thing to have been staring at all the pieces to a puzzle for a long time and even knowing which part of the pictures they should make but being unable to piece them together. then one day through absolutely no effort they sort of arrange themselves and you see the picture more clearly than you had imagined. Odd indeed.
A couple other observations are that only in Lancaster County, PA will a mock silo attached to your business be considered a marketing technique. It's also the only place you are likely to see barns converted into office space for a corporate center.
My mother-in-law is visiting this week so I may not get around to visit you all very much and posting here will be somewhat sporadic but I'll still try to toss up some fun posts during the week.
One thing I didn't expect was an epiphany of sorts as I listened to a particualr individual discuss another person in my life who has caused me rather a lot of unhappiness over the last 18 years. I can't really elaborate because it would not be fair to the people involved. It's just a very odd and amazing thing to have been staring at all the pieces to a puzzle for a long time and even knowing which part of the pictures they should make but being unable to piece them together. then one day through absolutely no effort they sort of arrange themselves and you see the picture more clearly than you had imagined. Odd indeed.
A couple other observations are that only in Lancaster County, PA will a mock silo attached to your business be considered a marketing technique. It's also the only place you are likely to see barns converted into office space for a corporate center.
My mother-in-law is visiting this week so I may not get around to visit you all very much and posting here will be somewhat sporadic but I'll still try to toss up some fun posts during the week.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Friday 55 & Da Count-Summer!
IT'S SUMMERTIME!!!!
Da Count is contained in Da 55.
*image taken from http://www.mercedfruitbarn.com
Succulent berries, ripe melons, juicy peaches and plums,
home grown tomatoes, zucchini out the ears,
sweet corn on the cob, fresh peas by the bucket,
beans, peppers, and squash.
I'm going to stuff myself on all the goodies of the season.
Now tell me how I am going to stuff myself into a bathing suit without embarassment?
And for your musical pleasure to start the season....
Thursday, June 21, 2007
HNT-Wash Day
As I mentioned yesterday when I found my little fully-nekkid, amphibious helper, I like to hang my laundry out. You can see I just did the tie dyed load of items. I dyed everything on the line except for the shirt. I do realize a shot just of my wash line doesn't qualify for HNT. Lacking any better ideas for this week and milking a theme for all it could possibly be worth, allow me to present myself at the wash line.
HHNTWednesday, June 20, 2007
Weird Wednesday-Little Helper
I like to hang out my laundry to dry. It saves using electricity and it smells so wonderful. Yesterday as I was reaching into the bag for a clip I though ti felt something soft and squishy. I recoiled and looked inside to find a little helper.
I wasn't sure how he got in there but it was an awfully long hop to the ground so I took him out gently and sat him down safely. I'm not sure if that's a look of disgust or gratitude on his face. What do you think?
I wasn't sure how he got in there but it was an awfully long hop to the ground so I took him out gently and sat him down safely. I'm not sure if that's a look of disgust or gratitude on his face. What do you think?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Bike Trip Tuesday #3-Wanderlust
As I've mentioned, I grew up in a speck of a place in South East Pennsylvania. Though it was not the famed Lancaster County it was still smack dab in the middle of Pennsylvania Dutch country. My entire extended family on my mom's, except for one uncle and one cousin and his family, lives within 10 miles of each other.
Now that we were all one group we set out together from Central Pennsylvania heading north to New York state and toward Niagara Falls. One of the benefits of having folks in our group from all over the country was having connections to people all over the country too. If one of the group had family or friends we asked if we could camp out in their yard for a night or two. Since I had the surprise of being told I had to beg for sleeping arrangements at churches each night I think I was more happy than everyone else when we came to Olean , NY where Mike's family lived.
After leaving Olean we headed toward Niagara Falls but made a stop in one of those off the map sorts of places called Rock City. It was the remains of an old sea bed and there were a number of hiking trails through the bottom and along the top. Mr. Lime and I decided to see about climbing up the walls. Yes, we've both always been monkeys. And just in case you thought my ridiculously klutzy ways are a recent development I'll tell you that about 5 seconds after this picture was snapped I fell off. No broken bones though. Hehehehe. 
Even though my childhood trips were generally limited to going to the New Jersey shore, which was only 2 hours away, I can remember feeling the pull of far away places very young. I vividly recall at age 5 or so standing in the Atlantic Ocean and looking off to the horizon, asking my mother, 'What's on the other side?' She told me other people were across the ocean. I asked if maybe there was a little girl standing on that side looking over wondering what was on our side of the ocean. Every year we went I can recall standing in the surf, staring off and imagining different people in different places. I am still compelled by my imagination when I stand at the water's edge and feel the sea lap my toes.
One of the things that excited me about the bike trip was getting to go stand on the edge of the Pacific and gaze over it to imagine yet another side of the world. What I don't think I realized is what it would mean to cross the continent and slowly pass through the sea of people that make up the United States. I knew my tiny corner of America. I naively assumed an awful lot of homogeny across the country, after all, we are all Americans, right? It's all one country. I figured it was really only the landscape that was going to change.
That said, I truly didn't even have a grasp at what the landscape changes were going to be like. Yes, I could label all 50 states and place them all on a map. I could carve up the country into all its regions and tell you what major geographical features would be found. However, no amount of book knowledge prepared me to stand at the edge of the Great Lakes and not be able to see across them the way I could not see across the ocean. No labelling of any map readied my eye to take in the vastness of the prairies. No postcard adequately represented the grandeur of the Rockies. No folk song really contained the Mississippi River in its tune. No documentary prepared me to stand at the edge of the Grand Canyon and be overwhelmed by it. No geography class ever made me grasp how huge this country is and how divergent her people are. And those were just some of the places I knew about in an abstract way. There were countless other places I had never heard of or had only the slightest knowledge about.
Now that we were all one group we set out together from Central Pennsylvania heading north to New York state and toward Niagara Falls. One of the benefits of having folks in our group from all over the country was having connections to people all over the country too. If one of the group had family or friends we asked if we could camp out in their yard for a night or two. Since I had the surprise of being told I had to beg for sleeping arrangements at churches each night I think I was more happy than everyone else when we came to Olean , NY where Mike's family lived.We descended upon their lake cottage and had a terrific couple of days relaxing on Cuba Lake. You'd think perhaps the cyclists would not want to touch their bikes for those couple of days but you'd be wrong. We took a little 30 mile round trip jaunt to see some local park. I did pedal on a borrowed bike for those 30 miles and let me tell you, I was glad it was broken up into 15 mile increments and relatively flat. I made it and didn't think I would die or anything but I was kind of tired by the end of it. The rest of the time was spent canoeing (I very skillfully tipped the canoe over dumping Mr. Lime and myself into the cold lake), fishing, and lazing about.
After leaving Olean we headed toward Niagara Falls but made a stop in one of those off the map sorts of places called Rock City. It was the remains of an old sea bed and there were a number of hiking trails through the bottom and along the top. Mr. Lime and I decided to see about climbing up the walls. Yes, we've both always been monkeys. And just in case you thought my ridiculously klutzy ways are a recent development I'll tell you that about 5 seconds after this picture was snapped I fell off. No broken bones though. Hehehehe.
Tune in next week for the next leg of our journey....
Monday, June 18, 2007
Places to Go, People to See...
Friday at 4am Diana took off with a group of 14 other folks to go to Louisiana to do hurricane recovery demolition/construction work. I've gotten a couple calls and text messages and one picture that is cute as can be of her and a pal in a mask. It's on my phone though and I am not hi -tech enough to figure out how to get it onto my computer so you all can see.
What I do have is a picture of the warning signs she posted on her bedroom door and in her room since I informed her I'd be cleaning it thoroughly in her absence.
In case you can't read the fine print on this first one it says, 'Oh & this is still my room so it's still just as off limits to all of you (Mom) as it would be!'
Just in case I missed that first one....Guess what...too bad, kiddo. The room gets a REAL cleaning once a year when you go away.
Saturday we got to visit with an old friend from college and his family. He is in the military and has been all over the place for the last 13 years so I am guessing it has been at least 10 since we saw each other. It was a fun time to catch up.
Sunday was, of course, Father's Day and my family reunion. Mr. Lime is not terribly happy about family reunions especially when they fall on Father's Day and I do understand. He was a reasonably good sport about it. But I really have to ask how can you not have fun at a reunion where there is an impromptu scar comparison contest? It started when two cousins were comparing scars from cellulitis, it continued when another cousin showed the long scar on her ankle from where she broke it an had metal put in. Next, I counted off the 5 scars on my left arm from the 'zip line incident.' Then another cousin decided to pull up his shirt and pull down his pants so he could show a gnarly back surgery scar. Then his wife flashed the brand new hip replacement scar she has. Finally my great uncle lifted his shirt to trump us all with his open heart surgery scar. We reminded him his older sister had the same scar and someone said, 'Oh she can't show that!' I reminded them that our dear 85 year old aunt, if challenged would flash us all without hesitation. She is, after all, the one who stood on stage singing along to 'I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts' doing rather suggestive movements during her younger sister's 80th birthday party. Unfortunately I do not have pictures of this whole competition to share with you all. Perhaps you are glad.
Instead I will leave you with a picture of our newest member who just came home to us from Central America a few months ago. Is she not the most adorable little girl? Welcome to the clan sweet girl!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Da Count-Good Dads
My relationship with my dad is sort of a strange thing. He's a very angry and harsh man. It was very difficult to be a child around him. We knew we could not please him, we always knew when we disappointed him. We knew not to ask for comfort and to brace ourselves for verbal pummelings. We knew there would never be a word of encouragement given. We knew he had the capacity to do us great harm if we ever pushed too far, not in the healthy respect for an authority figure way but in the cross way over lines of decency way. We could feel it when he'd rough-house with us and we began to get the upper hand. We knew when it had crossed over from fun and games to a serious need for him to make sure we knew who was dominant and to fear him. I didn't realize until I was a parent myself that he must have had some sort of recognition of his ability to inflict pain and that he had actually restrained himself in some ways. It helped me see that there was some shred of affection toward us even if it was only expressed in withholding evil as opposed to blessing us with good. There are some good memories of times with him and for those I am thankful. I have to consciously focus on them.
As an adult I have stood up a handful of times and laid down my boundaries and expectations for how I will or will not tolerate him treating me, my husband and his family, and our children. I've known he could choose to walk away from us when I've done this. Instead he has chosen to respect this. He has also mellowed somewhat with age, which has helped.
I cannot go into detail out of respect for my husband, but suffice it to say he and his family suffered terribly due to his father...in ways you'd expect to see on a soap opera. You probably would not believe me if I told you.
Ok, so I am supposed to be counting the good stuff right? So why am I telling you all of this?
I'm telling you because I am compelled to count the good dads I know and see. I count Mr. Lime because he does love our children and they know he does. He is involved in their lives and goes out of his way for them in many ways. He builds tree houses and steadies wobbly bicycles and plays catch. When he roughhouses he lets the kids win and ends it by rolling on the floor laughing together rather than terrifying them. He may not be perfect but he does immeasurably better than either of our fathers did by us.
I count the male friends I have who hug their children in public, who tell me proudly of the things their kids accomplish, who teach their kids important practical skills and how to relate maturely to the world, who soothe broken hearts and build up rather than tear down, who value the unique individuals each of their kids are.
I count all of you men bloggers who share with such pride, love, tenderness, and humor about your kids that I can feel it leaping out from the screen. And I count those of you who may not be fathers in the technical sense but who I know have nurtured children and helped them grow into healthy adults, those of you who have filled in the gaps for those of us who needed it.
I will count the good memories I do have with my own dad and the good times we can have now.
I am counting all the GOOD dads and men who have meant something good to a child because every act of good fathering I see or hear about is a little piece of healing. Thank you so much and may you each have a Happy Father's Day.
As an adult I have stood up a handful of times and laid down my boundaries and expectations for how I will or will not tolerate him treating me, my husband and his family, and our children. I've known he could choose to walk away from us when I've done this. Instead he has chosen to respect this. He has also mellowed somewhat with age, which has helped.
I cannot go into detail out of respect for my husband, but suffice it to say he and his family suffered terribly due to his father...in ways you'd expect to see on a soap opera. You probably would not believe me if I told you.
Ok, so I am supposed to be counting the good stuff right? So why am I telling you all of this?
I'm telling you because I am compelled to count the good dads I know and see. I count Mr. Lime because he does love our children and they know he does. He is involved in their lives and goes out of his way for them in many ways. He builds tree houses and steadies wobbly bicycles and plays catch. When he roughhouses he lets the kids win and ends it by rolling on the floor laughing together rather than terrifying them. He may not be perfect but he does immeasurably better than either of our fathers did by us.
I count the male friends I have who hug their children in public, who tell me proudly of the things their kids accomplish, who teach their kids important practical skills and how to relate maturely to the world, who soothe broken hearts and build up rather than tear down, who value the unique individuals each of their kids are.
I count all of you men bloggers who share with such pride, love, tenderness, and humor about your kids that I can feel it leaping out from the screen. And I count those of you who may not be fathers in the technical sense but who I know have nurtured children and helped them grow into healthy adults, those of you who have filled in the gaps for those of us who needed it.
I will count the good memories I do have with my own dad and the good times we can have now.
I am counting all the GOOD dads and men who have meant something good to a child because every act of good fathering I see or hear about is a little piece of healing. Thank you so much and may you each have a Happy Father's Day.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Weird Wednesday-Babies, Prom Gowns, and Accessorizing
It seems I caused some degree of consternation on Monday by mentioning shopping for prom gowns when I was postpartum. Allow me to clearly state for the record that I was NOT going to the prom at that time. I had my first baby when I was 22, so I was well past prom age.
I had been on bed rest due to preeclampsia for 5 weeks before having Diana. In the dead of winter I had her by emergency c-sec after two days of labor. Given that I had listened to every muscle in my body atrophy for 5 weeks prior to that marathon I was fairly wrung out by it all. Apparently I healed quickly because at the 6 week postpartum checkup the doctor declared me in perfect health. I asked him why I still felt like a dishrag.
I had gone quite stir crazy between bed rest and trying to recover from the c-sec in the middle of winter. The first week home my mother took me to the mall so I could just get a change of venue. I shuffled along clutching my sore belly while she pushed the stroller. After about 20 minutes I was exhausted and we went home. Too much too soon.
After the 6 week check I was talking to my dear friend I wrote about in 'Tumors, Pork chops, and Blueberry Buckle.' She had shared with me the slightly wacky tradition she had of dressing up for the Miss America Pageant and throwing a party. At 6 months into my pregnancy I put on an old prom gown with an empire waist, fashioned a sash out of toilet paper (Miss Abdomen, winner in the stretch mark and mood swing categories), and wore a pair of plastic baby pants on my head as a crown when I joined her party. As I was bemoaning how exhausted I felt all the time and how I didn't even recognize my own body anymore, nor could I even begin to squeeze it into any familiar clothing she suggested we go shopping.
Off we went to the mall. I tried on some things that I hated and moaned some more about not being able to fit into anything I liked. Then we spied the prom gowns and she got a twinkle in her eye and dragged me off. I caught her drift quickly and we each loaded our arms up with the most outrageous styles we could find and spent the next half hour laughing like crazy at each other as we crammed our flabby selves into slinky gowns. When the sales lady looked askance at us I assured her my mother had agreed to watch the baby so I could attend prom.
Now as a segue allow me to present a very special accessory I made all by myself....
The fabulously crafty Susie sent me a bra some time ago so I could fashion it into a purse. It has taken me several months to get around to it but at long last I have completed the project. It seems the perfect accessory after my postpartum prom gown shopping no?
Allow me to share the comments I've gotten...
Diana: It's like the Depression. She's so poor she has to make a purse out of some old bra...Only...it's the Depression so she doesn't even have money to carry. So why does she even need a purse. It's just stupid.
Calypso: Mom, that is so weird and gross. Can I use it for church on Sunday?
My mother: You're not actually going to let her take it to church are you?
Me: Grinning wickedly
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Bike Trip Tuesday #2-The Riders
I thought this week I'd introduce you to the group of folks who were on the bicycle trip. Going from left to right:
Greg was part of the local group. He was the free-est of the free spirits. I believe he was one of the originators of the trip idea and he was the one who somehow linked us up with the other 5 who were from all over the place. He definitely marched (or rode) to the beat of his own drummer. He was laid back and generally unconcerned by whether or not others thought he was odd. He demonstrated this most notably by walking into a biker bar (motorcycles, not bicycles) while wearing tight bike shorts, penny loafers, his helmet, thick glasses, and a wrap around pleather jacket and promptly ordering a soda.
Kristen was also part of the local group and among the most regimented of us. She liked to plan as much out as far in advance as possible. She helped keep us all on track. We helped her completely loose her mind. The group was divided clearly into morning bikers and evening bikers. She was among those who rose before dawn to ride early and therefore among the first in camp at night to begin hounding me about how soon dinner would be. She cared deeply about each one of us in the group and wanted to make sure the group was functioning well.
Gus was another member of the local group although he hailed from Paraguay (yes, my old time readers may recall the story of the duelling Paraguayan, this is him). He was THE most regimented of the group and the other driver of the support vehicle. He had a very military bearing about him and was inclined to be very very precise in all matters. Someone decided I should not be driving the car alone and thought Gus would be good company or protection or assistance and invited him. He was excellent protection and assistance. Our two very opposite personalities being confined to a Chevy Citation for a summer was shall we say an interesting blend. We had been friends before the trip. I think it is fair to say we grew to despise each other during the trip. By the end we made amends and I'd like to think we learned from each other.
Mr. Lime was a member of the local group and one of the arrangers of the whole thing. He was also one of the people who had the idea of making it a way to raise money for charitable causes. He's also the one who invited me to be the lackey of the group....because we were sweet on each other. Hahahaha. Now, we had not really dated in a romantic sense before this trip. We had been best buddies who hiked, and backpacked, and spelunked, and rock climbed together. We spent a lot of time together but had only recently decided we liked each other in more than a friendly sense right before this trip. This would prove a very maddening dynamic for the 65 days we spent crossing the continent.
Mike was from upstate New York and part of the grafted in group. He was a very intelligent and extremely dry-witted guy. He was also the fellow who each evening tended to map out our course for the next day. We had a general route we were following but he was charged with plotting the specifics each day since he seemed to have a knack for it. Often Pete would offer suggestions and between the two of them they were able to figure out a route that helped us make enough progress and yet not be horribly exhausting for the riders. We averaged about 70 miles a day.
Me...what do you really need to know here? As I said, I was only 18, the youngest of the group. I had just finished my freshman year of college. Up until this point I had grown up in a very homogeneous little town in SE Pennsylvania...so homogeneous I was considered an exotic because I am half Greek (read that as 'dark'). I had been to New Jersey every summer, Florida once, Texas once and just a few months before had travelled with 6 people in January to Kentucky in that rattletrap VW bus you see to the left. I had my driver's license less than a year. I was very green but I knew how to cook and clean.
Pete was the oldest of the group at 28 and from Colorado. He would become my big brother. He was incredibly wise and seemed to really be able to zero in on what everyone was thinking and feeling even when they couldn't or wouldn't. He had a very gentle spirit and was a tremendous listener. He was also the one person who had made this trip in this way before so his experience really benefited us all in so many ways. He was also an incredible musician and brought his mandolin along. Many nights after we'd all eaten and were relaxing he'd either play for the group or he'd slip off quietly and play by himself, sometimes on the mandolin, or since we were in a lot of churches, sometimes on a piano. He'd soothe himself with each note and many times I'd find some dark corner where I could hear his music without disturbing him so I could be soothed as well.
Christy was another member of the local group. She was the bubbliest girl you could ever hope to meet. She was sweet and cheery and always had a smile and a laugh. Often when Pete played she could be found singing into her bike pump and dancing next to him. She was such an asset to the group in her ability to help us all lighten up when things got tense. This picture was taken the first time we all met each other and it is no coincidence that she was way over with the 'new' folks. she was the one who really helped the two groups to mesh into one because of her sunny and outgoing disposition. I was just so thankful she was a part of the group.
Tricia was a nurse from England. She was all business all the time. I'd have to say she is the person I got to know the least because I just didn't know how to connect with her. She, along with Tom, would bike their 70 miles a day, pull into camp and commence with their daily workout. That's right, pedalling 70 miles on a bicycle was not exercise enough. They go through their regimen of hundreds of push ups, chin ups, and crunches AFTER that ride. I swear you could bounce quarters off her belly. The woman was a machine. She seemed kind of aloof to me, maybe I was just afraid she'd crush my (by comparison) soft and flabby self if I dared approach her. When I got over my trepidation enough to sit and talk with her I did find a very intelligent and funny woman there who had a gentle and nurturing side.
Del was the 11th child of 17 in a family of Iowa hog farmers. As I mentioned last week he was the most easy going and the only fellow on the trip who never seemed bothered at any point by living in close quarters. He had a great sense of humor and a quiet unassuming way about him. He just ambled along happily and I think sometimes took great amusement in watching the rest of us grind at each other. He was a terrific storyteller and could get the group in stitches with tales of his family and the life of a hog farmer.
Tom was from Texas and, as mentioned, Tricia's hard bodied sidekick. Whereas she seemed to be all business, and he definitely was no slouch there with all that crazed exercising, he had a more approachable manner. He also had a very silly side that showed often. Just imagine a three stooges sense of humor in a GQ body but over it all maintain a southern gentleman's kindness. As favored as he was in looks and charm, the guy was absolutely plagued by bike problems. He constantly had flat tires and mechanical problems. I think he could have single-handedly kept the patch kit business solvent.
So there you have it...what a divergent group of crazies huh? Tune in next week for more...
Monday, June 11, 2007
From a Land Down Under
I had to steal this from tl.
A- Available or Single?
I'm available for weddings, birthday parties, and bar mitzvahs.
B- Best Friend?
The two who went with me to try prom gowns on when I was about a month postpartum and none of my regular clothes fit. I had to find a way to laugh about that. Stuffing 10 lbs of s*** into a 5 lb sequined and spangly bag fit the bill nicely. The same two who I am safe to cry with when I need to and who rejoice when I rejoice. The same two who tell me to wise up when that's what I most need to hear.
C- Cake or Pie?
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. We bake cakes in pie crusts so you never have to choose between the two.
D- Drink of Choice?
Under what circumstances. You people really need to be more specific here. Am I having breakfast lunch or dinner? Is it a social situation or am I alone? Am I paying? What is in the fridge that isn't old? Really...you are being far too general here.
E- Essential Item?
Oxygen
F- Favorite Color?
Again, more specificity needed here. Am I wearing it or sitting in a room of it or eating some of it?
G- Gummi Bears or Worms?
Oh the worms are so much more fun for grossout factor, especially if you make dirt pudding and have the gummi worms poking out.
H- Hometown?
A lil blip on the map famous for making coffins.
I- Indulgence?
Are we talking Catholic practices from the Middle Ages or how to pamper oneself? Why oh why can you not be clear in your questioning?
K- Kids and Names?
They go together well. In fact I find names for kids to be quite indispensable. It's more efficient than calling them all by the generic label 'kid' and having countless heads whip around when you try to summon one of them.
L- Life is incomplete without…?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(feel free to read that as individual items in a list or as a declaration)
M- Marriage Date?
What??
N- Number of Siblings?
One tormented younger brother
O- Oranges or Apples?
Both
P- Phobias/Fears?
Ski masks, and that is no joke.
Q- Favorite Quote?
The world is full of suffering. The world is also full of the overcoming of suffering. ~Helen Keller
R- Reasons to smile?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(Ok, I used that already, sorry...add to that all the people I love and who love me)
S- Season?
Liberally with fresh herbs and spices
T- Tag 3 people?
You, with the uncombed hair
You, with the cat walking across your keyboard or desk
You, who sneezed within the last hour
U- Unknown Fact About Me?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
V- Vegetable You Hate?
Canned peas. Why the hell would anyone do that to such a lovely thing as a fresh pea? It's so fundamentally wrong.
W- Worst Habit?
Procrastina...
X- Xrays You’ve Had?
Gads, Janita alone has been xrayed a bazillion times in all angles. Then you have the annual smashing of the hooters, the chest xrays, the various sprained ankles that had to be checked to make sure there were no broken bones, the dental xrays, the full sets of spinal pictures from car accidents. Is that enough for you?
Y- Your Favorite Foods?
Chocolate, bread, pizza, summer fruits and veggies.
Z- Zodiac?
Libra in the west, Monkey in the east.
A- Available or Single?
I'm available for weddings, birthday parties, and bar mitzvahs.
B- Best Friend?
The two who went with me to try prom gowns on when I was about a month postpartum and none of my regular clothes fit. I had to find a way to laugh about that. Stuffing 10 lbs of s*** into a 5 lb sequined and spangly bag fit the bill nicely. The same two who I am safe to cry with when I need to and who rejoice when I rejoice. The same two who tell me to wise up when that's what I most need to hear.
C- Cake or Pie?
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. We bake cakes in pie crusts so you never have to choose between the two.
D- Drink of Choice?
Under what circumstances. You people really need to be more specific here. Am I having breakfast lunch or dinner? Is it a social situation or am I alone? Am I paying? What is in the fridge that isn't old? Really...you are being far too general here.
E- Essential Item?
Oxygen
F- Favorite Color?
Again, more specificity needed here. Am I wearing it or sitting in a room of it or eating some of it?
G- Gummi Bears or Worms?
Oh the worms are so much more fun for grossout factor, especially if you make dirt pudding and have the gummi worms poking out.
H- Hometown?
A lil blip on the map famous for making coffins.
I- Indulgence?
Are we talking Catholic practices from the Middle Ages or how to pamper oneself? Why oh why can you not be clear in your questioning?
K- Kids and Names?
They go together well. In fact I find names for kids to be quite indispensable. It's more efficient than calling them all by the generic label 'kid' and having countless heads whip around when you try to summon one of them.
L- Life is incomplete without…?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(feel free to read that as individual items in a list or as a declaration)
M- Marriage Date?
What??
N- Number of Siblings?
One tormented younger brother
O- Oranges or Apples?
Both
P- Phobias/Fears?
Ski masks, and that is no joke.
Q- Favorite Quote?
The world is full of suffering. The world is also full of the overcoming of suffering. ~Helen Keller
R- Reasons to smile?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(Ok, I used that already, sorry...add to that all the people I love and who love me)
S- Season?
Liberally with fresh herbs and spices
T- Tag 3 people?
You, with the uncombed hair
You, with the cat walking across your keyboard or desk
You, who sneezed within the last hour
U- Unknown Fact About Me?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
V- Vegetable You Hate?
Canned peas. Why the hell would anyone do that to such a lovely thing as a fresh pea? It's so fundamentally wrong.
W- Worst Habit?
Procrastina...
X- Xrays You’ve Had?
Gads, Janita alone has been xrayed a bazillion times in all angles. Then you have the annual smashing of the hooters, the chest xrays, the various sprained ankles that had to be checked to make sure there were no broken bones, the dental xrays, the full sets of spinal pictures from car accidents. Is that enough for you?
Y- Your Favorite Foods?
Chocolate, bread, pizza, summer fruits and veggies.
Z- Zodiac?
Libra in the west, Monkey in the east.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Da Count-The Right Stuff
I have mentioned how Isaac's Little League team is the Charlie Brown team. We have 3 games left before the end of the season and it has been a loooooong season. Until this week we were winless. We've suffered losses with scores of 22-6 and 24-8. It's been dismal. This past week things began to change. We played a game on Saturday which caused the opposing team to exhaust 3 pitchers on us and the only way they won was by bringing in their 6 ft 12 year old (Do his parents put Miracle Gro on his corn flakes or what???) in the last inning. In the middle of the week we finally put everything together and earned a sound win (15-7) against one of the teams that had humiliated us with one of those scores up above. Our guys really played like a team and everyone did his part. You could tell they learned a lot over the course of the season. Going into the last inning you'd have thought it was the 7th game of the World Series. The kids were hopping, the head coach was wringing his hat, and the parents in the stands were on the edges of their seats. The wild applause when the last out was made was fairly thunderous.
If we don't win another game we at least weren't shut out for the season. Isaac tells me the kids on his team take a lot of trash talk in school about how bad they are. Truthfully, I even heard it on the field during the game when the opposing coach berated his boys for not being able to 'take this team of losers.' Every game I have listened to one of the fathers on our team criticize the way our coaches are doing their job.
This week I want to count, not so much the win as our coaches. They are 3 guys (Mr. Lime among them) who are positive with the kids. They motivate by encouraging what the kids do right and by instructing the kids how to improve in the skills they lack. They have stated they want the boys to have a fun season and gain skills. They have no interest in being cutthroat to gain a win although they will certainly strategize how to best use their players. They do play every kid in every game. They told the boys at the beginning of the season that good games when everyone plays to the best of their ability will earn them baseball cards at the end of the game. Even though we've only had that single win there have been several baseball card nights. When Isaac hit a home run out of the park, the coach brought him a case for the ball at the next game. As an aside, I learned from the father of the kid who pitched the ball for the home run that his boy was crushed to give up that run. The father asked if the hitter was the type of kid who was going to 'bust his chops' about it. The boy said Isaac was a friend who wouldn't do that and I was very pleased to learn that the next day in school Isaac told the boy he had pitched a good game and he couldn't have hit a home run if it wasn't a good pitch.
This week I'm counting the coaches and boys who promote and display excellence regardless of the outcome. I'm counting the class acts with the right stuff.
If we don't win another game we at least weren't shut out for the season. Isaac tells me the kids on his team take a lot of trash talk in school about how bad they are. Truthfully, I even heard it on the field during the game when the opposing coach berated his boys for not being able to 'take this team of losers.' Every game I have listened to one of the fathers on our team criticize the way our coaches are doing their job.
This week I want to count, not so much the win as our coaches. They are 3 guys (Mr. Lime among them) who are positive with the kids. They motivate by encouraging what the kids do right and by instructing the kids how to improve in the skills they lack. They have stated they want the boys to have a fun season and gain skills. They have no interest in being cutthroat to gain a win although they will certainly strategize how to best use their players. They do play every kid in every game. They told the boys at the beginning of the season that good games when everyone plays to the best of their ability will earn them baseball cards at the end of the game. Even though we've only had that single win there have been several baseball card nights. When Isaac hit a home run out of the park, the coach brought him a case for the ball at the next game. As an aside, I learned from the father of the kid who pitched the ball for the home run that his boy was crushed to give up that run. The father asked if the hitter was the type of kid who was going to 'bust his chops' about it. The boy said Isaac was a friend who wouldn't do that and I was very pleased to learn that the next day in school Isaac told the boy he had pitched a good game and he couldn't have hit a home run if it wasn't a good pitch.
This week I'm counting the coaches and boys who promote and display excellence regardless of the outcome. I'm counting the class acts with the right stuff.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
HNT-Birthday
Many years ago today my daughter Calypso came into the world. I don't have great pictures of her as a newborn because we had recently been robbed and relieved of our nice camera. She was born in Trinidad and is quite proud of that fact. A lot of our Trini friends were quite proud of her being born there as well. I think spending her whole life in utero there must have had something to do with her sense of rhythm and love of music. She could never be soothed without music and rocking together. She bounced in time to music from age 6 months on...we have video to prove it. She has played violin, piano, clarinet and oboe. She recently convinced a friend to teach her some basic things on the drums. She's been asking about playing my guitar. At the rate I'm going (or not going) she'll probably pick it up in no time once I show her a few things. When she was 9 and a bunch of other kids in her school sang along weakly to their favorite CDs for the school talent show, she stood on stage and blew the audience away with an a capella rendition of 'Ain't No Sunshine.' She just found out this week she made the cut for show choir next year. She may have been doubtful but no one else was.
She has a bit of flair for the dramatic too, sometimes in that wonderfully creative way, sometimes in that maddening teenage girl way. She has always had her own unique style. She is sensitive and easily wounded but that same sensitivity inclines her to be the friend who always listens to the hurting kids at school. I love my girl and I am so proud of her.
Happy birthday, Calypso. Keep making music, keep shining.
HHNT
Weird News Wednesday-Could I be the Next Dr. Ruth?
NEW YORK - A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized. The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it. Woods' lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages, names Novartis Consumer Health Inc. as a defendant. Novartis' Boost Plus Web site describes the drink as "a great tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume," in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.
I am betting Boost Plus sees a spike in sales after this story is widely circulated. Hhhmmm, wonder if I can claim a commission fee?
LONDON (AFP) - More than half of British women prefer chocolate to sex, saying it can be depended on to give pleasure, according to a survey published Tuesday. But British men overwhelmingly think sex is sweeter, with 87 percent preferring carnal pleasures to a bar of confectionery. Fifty-two percent of women would rather curl up with a bar of chocolate, according to the survey of 1,500 Britons by confectionery giant Cadbury. Tastes vary between different parts of the country: Londoners are the keenest on sex, with 79 percent preferring it to chocolate, while overall 40 percent of people in eastern England would prefer to a bar of chocolate. The manufacturer also pointed out that almost half of British men regularly give chocolate as a birthday present or a thank you gift.
Listen, this is not an either or situation. This is about as win/win as it could possibly be...you simply combine the two.
I am betting Boost Plus sees a spike in sales after this story is widely circulated. Hhhmmm, wonder if I can claim a commission fee?
LONDON (AFP) - More than half of British women prefer chocolate to sex, saying it can be depended on to give pleasure, according to a survey published Tuesday. But British men overwhelmingly think sex is sweeter, with 87 percent preferring carnal pleasures to a bar of confectionery. Fifty-two percent of women would rather curl up with a bar of chocolate, according to the survey of 1,500 Britons by confectionery giant Cadbury. Tastes vary between different parts of the country: Londoners are the keenest on sex, with 79 percent preferring it to chocolate, while overall 40 percent of people in eastern England would prefer to a bar of chocolate. The manufacturer also pointed out that almost half of British men regularly give chocolate as a birthday present or a thank you gift.
Listen, this is not an either or situation. This is about as win/win as it could possibly be...you simply combine the two.
*image from www.kjkkandies.com
Chocolate and sex...two great tastes that taste great together! Such silly people not to be able to figure that out.
JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - South African workers striking over pay and benefits have a new complaint -- they no longer have the energy for sex. Monroe Mkalipi, a regional chairman of the powerful COSATU federations of trade unions, complained that work conditions are so tough workers can't perform in the bedroom. "The harshness that we have in all our workplaces is so severe to such a point that when you get home at night it becomes a problem expanding our families," the SAPA news agency quoted him as saying. Public sector workers are negotiating with the government to increase pay for the first time since 2004.
Now THAT'S a good reason to strike. These people have their priorities straight. I think I am going to establish a cross-cultural exchange between South Africa and Britain...give those overworked guys a nice vacation and maybe they can teach those stodgy Brits a thing of two. Maybe we can speak to Novartis about some donations of Boost Plus too. I will not, however, endorse the following product...
SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian oyster farmer has hit upon a technique he believes has created the ultimate aphrodisiac -- feeding his shellfish the drug Viagra. George May said the natural qualities of the oyster, known for arousing sexual desire, combined with the best modern pharmaceutical equivalent to create a potentially multi-million dollar market. "First of all, oysters are the greatest natural aphrodisiac, second, you lace it with Viagra, and third, it's a laugh," the 59-year-old told AFP on Monday. May, who was a successful Sydney marketing executive until being diagnosed with prostate cancer late in 2006, will not be allowed to sell his oysters in Australia because they contravene strict regulations. And he has been ordered by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, which produces the anti-impotence drug Viagra, to stop using the name of their most famous product in his marketing. But May says neither of these obstacles will stop him from exporting his specially prepared Sydney Rock Oysters around the world.
"I'm getting calls from Macau, Hong Kong, Moscow for god's sake. I'm getting calls from all over the bloody world."
JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - South African workers striking over pay and benefits have a new complaint -- they no longer have the energy for sex. Monroe Mkalipi, a regional chairman of the powerful COSATU federations of trade unions, complained that work conditions are so tough workers can't perform in the bedroom. "The harshness that we have in all our workplaces is so severe to such a point that when you get home at night it becomes a problem expanding our families," the SAPA news agency quoted him as saying. Public sector workers are negotiating with the government to increase pay for the first time since 2004.
Now THAT'S a good reason to strike. These people have their priorities straight. I think I am going to establish a cross-cultural exchange between South Africa and Britain...give those overworked guys a nice vacation and maybe they can teach those stodgy Brits a thing of two. Maybe we can speak to Novartis about some donations of Boost Plus too. I will not, however, endorse the following product...
SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian oyster farmer has hit upon a technique he believes has created the ultimate aphrodisiac -- feeding his shellfish the drug Viagra. George May said the natural qualities of the oyster, known for arousing sexual desire, combined with the best modern pharmaceutical equivalent to create a potentially multi-million dollar market. "First of all, oysters are the greatest natural aphrodisiac, second, you lace it with Viagra, and third, it's a laugh," the 59-year-old told AFP on Monday. May, who was a successful Sydney marketing executive until being diagnosed with prostate cancer late in 2006, will not be allowed to sell his oysters in Australia because they contravene strict regulations. And he has been ordered by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, which produces the anti-impotence drug Viagra, to stop using the name of their most famous product in his marketing. But May says neither of these obstacles will stop him from exporting his specially prepared Sydney Rock Oysters around the world.
"I'm getting calls from Macau, Hong Kong, Moscow for god's sake. I'm getting calls from all over the bloody world."
May said he told them: "I'm going to feed them Viagra and zinc and every other aphrodisiac I can find." He has since patented the idea of feeding the oysters Viagra, magnesium, zinc and sea grass among other things after the shellfish have gone through the normal purification process.
"They are all being really well looked after because they are in beautiful filtered water and we're actually feeding them vitamins and minerals," May said. "We're getting a bigger oyster."
May now has some 10 million oysters in cultivation and says he eats one to two dozen each day without any ill effects of consuming a foodstuff containing some medication. "I swear to god. They work," he said.
"They are all being really well looked after because they are in beautiful filtered water and we're actually feeding them vitamins and minerals," May said. "We're getting a bigger oyster."
May now has some 10 million oysters in cultivation and says he eats one to two dozen each day without any ill effects of consuming a foodstuff containing some medication. "I swear to god. They work," he said.
Yeah, I just bet he's getting bigger oysters. *snicker...I bet they still can't compare to an all natural Washington Geoduck. 
Either way, I ain't eating oysters or geoducks. And I might add, Mr. Lime LOVES raw oysters but he knows I will not come within 10 feet of him after he's sucked down those vile snot globs on the halfshell. It doesn't matter what it does to his libido, the thought of oysters makes me want to vomit. Ok, I need to wash my mouth out with chocolate after even thinking about that. Quick, I need a chocolate covered man....
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Bike Trip Tuesday
Folks, I am going to take a brief break from Trini Tuesday. I have enjoyed posting about Trinidad and sharing about a place I love and it's culture, history, and people. I am feeling a bit stale in generating new material though. There are several people who have been reading me for most of my blogging days. I have also picked up quite a few new readers recently and I appreciate all of you and the positive feedback when you've really enjoyed a TT post. Feel free to dig around the archives for Trini Tuesday material if you want. I'll be back with more when I feel I have something worthwhile to share or time to dig into a few of the things I'd like to share about but will require more research.
In the interim I am going tobore you to tears regale you with utter nonsense fascinating stories about a bicycle trip I took from Pennsylvania to California during 1987. I was inspired to share this because of a post Gawpo did which mentioned of the booming metropolis of Wagontire, Oregon (population 2). After I commented that I had been there and told him when and why he said I HAD to post about it. Since I am such the lazy blogger agreeable and obliging sort you all get to suffer enjoy.
Now, let's back up. I said I was part of a bicycle trip that was nearly from coast to coast. Don't start congratulating me yet. There were 11 of us but I did not pedal for the 4000+ miles of the trip. Are you kidding me? Do I look sick in the head to you? Wait, don't answer that. No, I was the driver of the support vehicle (a Chevy Citation). It was my job to pack the belongings of 11 people into the car every day. I managed to do it well enough to still see out the back window, thank you very much. I also did all the cooking and laundering for said group as well as find lodging for us each night. May I just say, 9 people pedalling for 70 miles a day can eat like you wouldn't believe. They can also make some tremendously ripe laundry.
I was the youngest person in the group, age 18. The oldest was Pete, 28. He had done such a trip one time before and so was a very valuable member of the group. There were 6 of us from the same college in central Pennsylvania and 5 folks that we hooked up with through one of our local group members. The other 5 were from Texas, Iowa, New York, England, and Colorado. I still have no idea how they all connected. In our local group we had a fellow from Paraguay who was my co-driver of the Little Citation That Could. Mr. Lime was also among the local group. We were 4 women and 7 men. It was quite the collection of personalities I might add and living together in such unusual circumstances made for some very interesting dynamics from time to time. The only person among us who never seemed to get annoyed by living in close quarters with such a big and diverse crew was Del. I suspect it had something to do with him being the 11th of 17 children in his family of Iowa hog farmers. He was absolutely the most easygoing fellow you could ever hope to meet.
Since we all had agreed on this harebrained idea of pedalling bicycles for over 4000 miles we also agreed to do it for some purpose bigger than the sheer entertainment value of wedging one's own seat onto a tiny bit of metal, vinyl and alleged padding materials. We decided to use it as a fundraiser for charitable causes. Each of us found as many sponsors as we could to donate anywhere between 1/4 cent and $.01 per mile. Doing so, we were able to raise about $6000 for an aid group that worked with widows and orphans in Bangladesh after a series of floods devastated that country and for a couple training to go work among the needy. Every cent went to those causes and we funded our own travel expenses.
It did, however become apparent that expenses were somewhat underestimated and in addition to being the chief cook,bottle washer, driver and laundress extraordinaire I was now assigned the task of begging for lodging each night. This generally entailed finding a phone book or the first church entering a town and requesting to camp in their yard or sleep in their building. I protested this arrangement since I had budgeted for campgrounds myself since that was my understanding. The group poopooed that. I pleaded to have them allow me find public parks and such. No, go beg to the churches. I was nonplussed by this arrangement, to say the least. It would not be the last time I got assigned an unpleasant task against my wishes. I had lots of opportunities to learn a lot of flexibility and hone my pathetic soul facial expression. I think if I had known I'd be knocking on doors and asking for housing each night I never would have said yes to the driver's job but if I had said no I would have missed out on a tremendous chance to see so much of my own country and get a heck of an education on human nature and group dynamics.
In the interim I am going to
Now, let's back up. I said I was part of a bicycle trip that was nearly from coast to coast. Don't start congratulating me yet. There were 11 of us but I did not pedal for the 4000+ miles of the trip. Are you kidding me? Do I look sick in the head to you? Wait, don't answer that. No, I was the driver of the support vehicle (a Chevy Citation). It was my job to pack the belongings of 11 people into the car every day. I managed to do it well enough to still see out the back window, thank you very much. I also did all the cooking and laundering for said group as well as find lodging for us each night. May I just say, 9 people pedalling for 70 miles a day can eat like you wouldn't believe. They can also make some tremendously ripe laundry.
I was the youngest person in the group, age 18. The oldest was Pete, 28. He had done such a trip one time before and so was a very valuable member of the group. There were 6 of us from the same college in central Pennsylvania and 5 folks that we hooked up with through one of our local group members. The other 5 were from Texas, Iowa, New York, England, and Colorado. I still have no idea how they all connected. In our local group we had a fellow from Paraguay who was my co-driver of the Little Citation That Could. Mr. Lime was also among the local group. We were 4 women and 7 men. It was quite the collection of personalities I might add and living together in such unusual circumstances made for some very interesting dynamics from time to time. The only person among us who never seemed to get annoyed by living in close quarters with such a big and diverse crew was Del. I suspect it had something to do with him being the 11th of 17 children in his family of Iowa hog farmers. He was absolutely the most easygoing fellow you could ever hope to meet.
Since we all had agreed on this harebrained idea of pedalling bicycles for over 4000 miles we also agreed to do it for some purpose bigger than the sheer entertainment value of wedging one's own seat onto a tiny bit of metal, vinyl and alleged padding materials. We decided to use it as a fundraiser for charitable causes. Each of us found as many sponsors as we could to donate anywhere between 1/4 cent and $.01 per mile. Doing so, we were able to raise about $6000 for an aid group that worked with widows and orphans in Bangladesh after a series of floods devastated that country and for a couple training to go work among the needy. Every cent went to those causes and we funded our own travel expenses.
It did, however become apparent that expenses were somewhat underestimated and in addition to being the chief cook,bottle washer, driver and laundress extraordinaire I was now assigned the task of begging for lodging each night. This generally entailed finding a phone book or the first church entering a town and requesting to camp in their yard or sleep in their building. I protested this arrangement since I had budgeted for campgrounds myself since that was my understanding. The group poopooed that. I pleaded to have them allow me find public parks and such. No, go beg to the churches. I was nonplussed by this arrangement, to say the least. It would not be the last time I got assigned an unpleasant task against my wishes. I had lots of opportunities to learn a lot of flexibility and hone my pathetic soul facial expression. I think if I had known I'd be knocking on doors and asking for housing each night I never would have said yes to the driver's job but if I had said no I would have missed out on a tremendous chance to see so much of my own country and get a heck of an education on human nature and group dynamics.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Tumors, Pork Chops, and Blueberry Buckle
I had a chance to see some old friends again this weekend when Calypso and I went out to central Pennsylvania for the graduation of a dear friend's son. We had a very scenic and meandering drive out there and it was just so beautiful.
My friend and I haven't seen each other nearly as often as we'd like over the last many years. Every time we get together though it's like no time has passed. She's quite the story teller and loves to tell the story of how we met 20 years ago.
As she tells it...(just imagine a very giggly an animated reading and you'll have it right)
Well, Paulie and I wanted to make babies and we tried to make babies for a long time and didn't get anywhere with that even though we'd been holding hands for like six years and everything. I mean we didn't even wear gloves or anything! Then my belly grew huge like there really was a baby in there, only problem was, it was a tumor and not a baby. And so I just saw the doctor and he told me, 'We're gonna take out yer tumor and a bunch of yer insides and the bits you need to make babies, oh, and yer probably still gonna die anyway.' And so I was kinda a little traumatized by all this, and my belly hurt and I couldn't walk. but we were supposed to have dinner with the Smith's and I sorta wanted to not think about having half my insides pulled out and not making babies and maybe dying anyway, so I made dessert and we went to the Smiths.
So we pulled up to their house and no lights are on and the door is locked and we knocked anyway and they come down in bathrobes and said, 'Why are you here?' 'Well, we brought dessert for dinner, like we agreed.' the Smith's said, 'Nooooooo, that is next week.' So we said goodbye and got in the car with our blueberry buckle and asked ourselves who would like dessert? Oh, we know! College students! Mr. Lime likes dessert! We know him and we know he can eat. We hope his fiancee likes dessert and doesn't mind unannounced visitors. So we drove to their apartment and Paulie walked up the three flights of stairs with dessert in hand and I waited in the car in case they said no, because my belly hurt and I was kinda in shock and all and didn't really want to walk up there until I knew they wanted dessert. They said dessert sounded good, come on in.
So Paulie came back down and helped me up 3 flights of stairs with my huge hurty belly that had tumors in it instead of babies and the guys went and did whatever guys do and I sat in the kitchen while Michelle was cooking dinner...because they were college students and they ate late and they were only now getting around to cooking. And Michelle said, do you like pork chops and I nodded blankly so she pulled more of them out to cook and she made pork chops while I sat in her kitchen and cried my eyes out
....IwannamakebabiesbutnowIhavetumorsandtheirgonnagutme
likeadeerbythesideoftheroad andtheysaidI'mgonnadieanyway... WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! and Michelle who never ever met me before let me bawl like a baby in my kitchen and she fed me and brought me tissues and she gave me some hugs and she let me rant and rave and bawl some more and she didn't even act like I was some sort of crazy woman escaped from the asylum. She just listened quietly. (Here is where I break in and remind the listener during the telling of the story that I had no idea what to do, that there was no great wisdom in me, that I was just aching for this poor lady in my kitchen who I never met who but who was obviously needing to dump a great load. I just figured if she was in such shock she'd tell all that to a stranger then it was just my job to listen until she was done and just be there, oh and feed her since she'd had no dinner. Well, and I kinda had no answers for this lady crying in my kitchen so why even try to fake it, just listen. Better to be silent and thought stupid than to open my mouth and remove all doubt kinda thinking.)
So she made good pork chops and she said I made good Blueberry Buckle for dessert and a few weeks later they gutted me like a deer and they said I was gonna live after all and many weeks after that I went to Michelle's wedding and wore pantyhose on my hurty belly or the first time just for her wedding because she fed me pork chops and let me bawl in her kitchen. And we've been good friends ever since. The end. (Always punctuated by her throwing her head back and laughing like a loon and giving me a hug)
Epilogue by Lime:
I'm so glad she took a risk on crying in my kitchen. I'm so glad she lived. We've shared so many laughs and tears since that first time. I had the joy of seeing her and her husband adopt and raise 3 wonderful children. Seeing one of them graduate this weekend and spending time together was an absolute joy.
My friend and I haven't seen each other nearly as often as we'd like over the last many years. Every time we get together though it's like no time has passed. She's quite the story teller and loves to tell the story of how we met 20 years ago.
As she tells it...(just imagine a very giggly an animated reading and you'll have it right)
Well, Paulie and I wanted to make babies and we tried to make babies for a long time and didn't get anywhere with that even though we'd been holding hands for like six years and everything. I mean we didn't even wear gloves or anything! Then my belly grew huge like there really was a baby in there, only problem was, it was a tumor and not a baby. And so I just saw the doctor and he told me, 'We're gonna take out yer tumor and a bunch of yer insides and the bits you need to make babies, oh, and yer probably still gonna die anyway.' And so I was kinda a little traumatized by all this, and my belly hurt and I couldn't walk. but we were supposed to have dinner with the Smith's and I sorta wanted to not think about having half my insides pulled out and not making babies and maybe dying anyway, so I made dessert and we went to the Smiths.
So we pulled up to their house and no lights are on and the door is locked and we knocked anyway and they come down in bathrobes and said, 'Why are you here?' 'Well, we brought dessert for dinner, like we agreed.' the Smith's said, 'Nooooooo, that is next week.' So we said goodbye and got in the car with our blueberry buckle and asked ourselves who would like dessert? Oh, we know! College students! Mr. Lime likes dessert! We know him and we know he can eat. We hope his fiancee likes dessert and doesn't mind unannounced visitors. So we drove to their apartment and Paulie walked up the three flights of stairs with dessert in hand and I waited in the car in case they said no, because my belly hurt and I was kinda in shock and all and didn't really want to walk up there until I knew they wanted dessert. They said dessert sounded good, come on in.
So Paulie came back down and helped me up 3 flights of stairs with my huge hurty belly that had tumors in it instead of babies and the guys went and did whatever guys do and I sat in the kitchen while Michelle was cooking dinner...because they were college students and they ate late and they were only now getting around to cooking. And Michelle said, do you like pork chops and I nodded blankly so she pulled more of them out to cook and she made pork chops while I sat in her kitchen and cried my eyes out
....IwannamakebabiesbutnowIhavetumorsandtheirgonnagutme
likeadeerbythesideoftheroad andtheysaidI'mgonnadieanyway... WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! and Michelle who never ever met me before let me bawl like a baby in my kitchen and she fed me and brought me tissues and she gave me some hugs and she let me rant and rave and bawl some more and she didn't even act like I was some sort of crazy woman escaped from the asylum. She just listened quietly. (Here is where I break in and remind the listener during the telling of the story that I had no idea what to do, that there was no great wisdom in me, that I was just aching for this poor lady in my kitchen who I never met who but who was obviously needing to dump a great load. I just figured if she was in such shock she'd tell all that to a stranger then it was just my job to listen until she was done and just be there, oh and feed her since she'd had no dinner. Well, and I kinda had no answers for this lady crying in my kitchen so why even try to fake it, just listen. Better to be silent and thought stupid than to open my mouth and remove all doubt kinda thinking.)
So she made good pork chops and she said I made good Blueberry Buckle for dessert and a few weeks later they gutted me like a deer and they said I was gonna live after all and many weeks after that I went to Michelle's wedding and wore pantyhose on my hurty belly or the first time just for her wedding because she fed me pork chops and let me bawl in her kitchen. And we've been good friends ever since. The end. (Always punctuated by her throwing her head back and laughing like a loon and giving me a hug)
Epilogue by Lime:
I'm so glad she took a risk on crying in my kitchen. I'm so glad she lived. We've shared so many laughs and tears since that first time. I had the joy of seeing her and her husband adopt and raise 3 wonderful children. Seeing one of them graduate this weekend and spending time together was an absolute joy.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Da Count-Very Appropriate this week.
I did mention yesterday that I thought maybe I was walking around under a black cloud or something with this run of bad luck our family has had recently. The post about the shirt bringing bad luck really was meant as a bit of a joke, but I'll admit I was feeling a bit beset until several commenters gently reminded me that maybe my perspective was a bit off. Some even suggested the shirt was acting in a somewhat protective way since things didn't turn out much worse.
So this week I'm counting the good things that have occurred in all the bad situations lately.
1. Diana's and Isaac's trips to the ER with severe asthma attacks. There was medicine to be had that provided relatively quick relief. I can remember having several attacks as a child when I should have been taken to the ER and wasn't and I didn't even have an inhaler. I'm so very thankful that my kids can get quick relief and that the folks Diana works with tried to take good care of her until I could get to her.
2. Calypso's trip to the ER. The doctor kind of looked at us like it was very silly that she was brought in at all and I still don;t know who called the ambulance when I was delayed in getting to her due to the parade clogging up traffic. That being said, I am extremely grateful that someone who saw my child in some form of distress moved to do something to alleviate that rather than turning a blind eye. I'm also grateful for the lady who waited with Calypso.
3. My fender bender. I saw the guy was going to go into me and was able to veer out of the way just enough that he only clipped my back end rather than plowing into my side. I'm very thankful that neither the other driver nor I were physically injured. For the sake of not having to suffer Mr. Lime's ire I am glad the police cited the other guy for leaving his lane, kinda proves I didn't cause the accident.
4. Many terrific bloggers and commenters. I'm thankful to folks who lend support and refocus my thoughts in a positive direction. You guys are the best.
Now, I have 4 different insurance claims I will have to be 'discussing' with various representatives, so if I begin to whine about that process please refer me to this post and tell me to stop bellyaching and be thankful.
So this week I'm counting the good things that have occurred in all the bad situations lately.
1. Diana's and Isaac's trips to the ER with severe asthma attacks. There was medicine to be had that provided relatively quick relief. I can remember having several attacks as a child when I should have been taken to the ER and wasn't and I didn't even have an inhaler. I'm so very thankful that my kids can get quick relief and that the folks Diana works with tried to take good care of her until I could get to her.
2. Calypso's trip to the ER. The doctor kind of looked at us like it was very silly that she was brought in at all and I still don;t know who called the ambulance when I was delayed in getting to her due to the parade clogging up traffic. That being said, I am extremely grateful that someone who saw my child in some form of distress moved to do something to alleviate that rather than turning a blind eye. I'm also grateful for the lady who waited with Calypso.
3. My fender bender. I saw the guy was going to go into me and was able to veer out of the way just enough that he only clipped my back end rather than plowing into my side. I'm very thankful that neither the other driver nor I were physically injured. For the sake of not having to suffer Mr. Lime's ire I am glad the police cited the other guy for leaving his lane, kinda proves I didn't cause the accident.
4. Many terrific bloggers and commenters. I'm thankful to folks who lend support and refocus my thoughts in a positive direction. You guys are the best.
Now, I have 4 different insurance claims I will have to be 'discussing' with various representatives, so if I begin to whine about that process please refer me to this post and tell me to stop bellyaching and be thankful.
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