Quilts on Tuesday

For a long time I have intended to do some posts on quilts. Since the weather has turned chilly enough to bring them back out of the closets and chests I thought it would be a good time. Quilts are an important part of my life. I can't remember much time in my life when I haven't slept under a handmade quilt in my own home. Frankly, the thought of that disturbs me. I can sleep under a commercially produced comforter when I visit somewhere else but at home, it just ain't right.

My mom has been quilting since before I was born and she has made dozens and dozens of quilts in her life. The very first one was an appliqued doll quilt she still has at home. I have the first bed sized quilt she ever produced hanging over a railing in my living room. I grew up playing under her quilt frame and watching her spend hours hunched over it with her glasses perched on her nose as she rocked the needle in and out of the layers of fabric and batting. Let me tell you, if you are a kid who likes to build blanket forts, quilt frames are a most wonderful framework for them. (Lucky kid that I was, I had my grandmother's handmade afghans to throw over the quilt frames for my forts.)

This week I'll share with you the quilt Mom made for me when I was 4. Even at that tender age I got to be involved in the planning of my quilt. It is a quilt made of many picture patches. Each patch was a picture of something I enjoyed or that was important to me.

If you could see the entire quilt you'd find characters from Peanuts and Sesame Street, pictures of my favorite toys and books, cookies and ice cream, horses and dogs, and my roller skates. You can also see the guitar in there. I loved when my grandfather would play for me.
In order to make it even more personal, Mom also included tracings of my hands, a sample of my written alphabet, and an example of my 4 year old artistic expression. In order to get these images, as well as the others I chose, she used tailor's tracing paper to transfer the design onto the fabric, then used fabric paint to make the designs permanent. Here we see young Lime's early artistic efforts. We have a boy and a girl carrying home flowers for Mommy. Notice the boy is bald and the girl has a rather ragged looking skirt. What can I say? All the unfinished, uneven hems we see in fashion today...I was obviously ahead of my time. If you are thinking my flower to human proportions are more than a wee bit off I would suggest you consider that I was very fond of sunflowers and gladiolus. Those are not exactly small flowers.
Here we see early indication of my thrill seeking nature. Yes, I was a 3 year old biker chick. (check the link for a fun, old picture) My first memory of a bike is being 3, straddling the gas tank of my dad's Honda, and shouting into the wind, "Go faster!!!!!"

In addition to choosing the pictures for the top I got to choose the backing fabric. Once again, I did serious injury to my mother's hopes of raising a girly girl when I picked astronauts with rockets and puppies. Actually, if you tried to guess by the backing fabric of our respective quilts you might confuse my quilt with my brother's. This is my fabric. He chose pink and purple clowns.

I don't use this quilt anymore because it has been used so hard I doubt it would tolerate another washing. It's safely tucked away but I still cherish it. My mom also made similar quilts for my children when they each turned 4. I asked her why age 4 when 5 seems so much more momentous since that's when children start kindergarten. She smiled and said she wanted each of us to have a record of the things that mattered most to us and who we were before we entered school, when the only real influence on us had been our family.

Points of Clarification

Thank you for the comments of support and encouragement over the weekend. I truly appreciate it.

I am still struggling with the nastiness that occurred last week. I have moved past the initial shock and pain and right now I am trying to contain the simmering anger. A simple, sincere, unqualified apology would be the equivalent of taking the lid off the pot and turning down the heat. Certain parties are hoping I will follow long established procedure by smiling, making nice, and pretending nothing happened. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. I am not going to pour gasoline on the fire (even though in some ways it would be reeeeeaally gratifying to do so) but there will be no resolution until I am offered an apology. Abuse, even if it is only verbal, is not something I will sweep under the rug.


"I was angry and I lashed out." That's an excuse, not an apology.

"I treated you terribly. It was wrong to do so. I am sorry." That's an apology.

After an apology perhaps we can begin to rebuild something.

Friday 55 & Da Count- Vipers and Gifts

FRIDAY 55

The serpent lay frozen and unmoving on the snow.
A woman saw the snake and had mercy on it.
She picked it up, held it to her breast to share her warmth.
The viper began to wriggle before suddenly biting the woman.
The woman cried out and asked why.
The viper hissed, "It is my nature."





DA COUNT

Without going into detail I will say I was "bitten by a viper" yesterday. It was a particularly deep bite. It hurts quite a lot but I should not have been surprised. Vipers don't often turn into teddy bears nor are they given to displays of gratitude for mercy shown. I will count Logo for lending me an ear, John Michael for reminding me of the story of the viper, a mysterious and sagacious "neighbor" who offered supportive affirmation, and a precious friend (who reads this blog but cannot comment) just for being there with love. I will also count Calypso who, when she came home and found me in my distress, chose to extend me mercy by offering her shoulder and a hug at a moment when I deeply needed just that. Rest assured I would not repay any of those gifts with venom.

Slice of Lime-Tie One On

Ok, I know I said "sarong to summer" last week, but lecram and other friends are saying it this week. He also shared a video on different ways to tie a sarong. I have had problems with that in the past so I thought I should practice a little before packing away the sarong for cold weather.

Tie the ends in the front.

Twist up to to neck.

Tie around neck in the back.

It worked but it has been cold enough this week I am more tempted to wear my sarong this way.

Meme: The Movie!

Well, it's a rather late post today but this filmmaking is hard work. I promised I'd cast anyone who wanted to be cast in this bit of absurdism, so here goes.



coopernicus said...Can I be the cranky yet benign curmudgeon with the heart of gold of whom everyone is intimidated except the mysterious purple haired maiden who wanders into town to save the local dog catcher from making a fatal mistake with a guinea pig?

You bet yer bippy. I aim to please. Wilford Brumley will play your part. You've become a curmudgeon because of your job as the local dog catcher. You are haunted by that tragic day when you herded up all the local guinea pigs thinking they were prairie dogs (ya know, what with being a "dog" catcher and all) and had them euthanized.

San said... Lime's gonna put me in the movies. She's gonna make a big star out of me. And all I gotta do is act naturally. You bet, babe. Cast me as someone outlandish. Cast me as a villain. Cast me as a vixen. Cast me as a dead body lying in a coffin. Just cast me, baby. Cast me.

Well San, be careful what you wish for. I'm wrapping up Coopernicus' wish with yours. Who could be more outlandish than the purple-haired Dame Edna. When you are using what you thought was a love potion to ensnare Coopernicus you inadvertently brought back to life all those prairie dogs he killed. In the end, you'll need no magic potion since your effervescence will naturally charm the benign curmudgeon who will mourn your loss when in the end the critters do you in.

Lisa said...A bit part to raise "phain" from the dead or play the long lost sister with amnesia? Ha!!

Rodents will not be the only ones raised from the dead. San will also inadvertently bring Phain back who will serve as the Undead Queen of the Prairie Dogs. Phain was once a renowned prairie dog scientist but met her demise when her subjects revolted and dragged her into their tunnels. Aaliyah will portray Phain as Queen of the Damned Rodents. Yeah, we'll raise her from the dead to do it.

Craver Vii said... What?! Hamsters don't attack. Oh, they're radioactive? Nevermind then.

Craver, you are Gene Wilder as the mad scientist who unleashes radioactive hamsters on the planet in hopes that they can overpower the zombie prairie dogs and their vampiric queen. Sadly, it does not end well for you because the Zombie Prairie Dogs turn the radioactive hamsters into zombies as well which then turn on you, their creator.

airplanejayne said... MEMEMEMEMEMEME! I wanna be in da movie!!!

APJ, you will be Craver's assistant. You're a pole dancer with a heart of gold. If not for your strength, compassion, and dogged determination, Craver's failure would doom all of humanity. Hence, Julia Roberts will reprise an Erin Brockovitch type role to portray you as you combat the zombified, radioactive hordes.

Mona said... I would LOVE to see you as a director & act in your movie! But please don't have plastic dinosaurs chasing me! & don't let James be the script writer!

Wish granted Mona, but you'll be running from herds of zombified and radioactive rodents. Your only line (which will be repeated ad nauseum) is "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" We will at least have you portrayed by the lovely Aishwarya Rai.

G-Man said...Is there a 'casting couch' involved? If yes...Count me in!!!

Sorry, there's no casting couch but we can have you ride in like a bad ass biker and rescue Mona. Dennis Hopper will portray you? The two of you will escape just before it is revealed that Mona carries the spawn of a radioactive hamster who overpowered her. You'll tend to her through the ridiculously quick pregnancy and grueling delivery when she births Harvey the Wonder Hamster who may just be the hope of the world.

~Tim said... You know, people used to get me and Clint Eastwood mixed up. Yeah, when he was mayor of Carmel people would call the office and ask, "Is Tim there?"

Tim, you'll be the mayor of the plagued town. You're unwilling to admit there is a problem until it's far too late, not unlike certain people in the government and financial sectors today. You'll die when you are beguiled by Phain who eats you for lunch.

Beach Bum said... I'm throwing in with Mel and Clint.

You're the deputy mayor of questionable sanity, who is so busy hanging out on the beach you don't even hear Tim's cries for help or the stampeding herd of radioactive-zombie-rodents as they thunder over the dunes to eat you.

citizen of the world said...Who wouldn't want to be in your movie?

Breazy said... if you need me let me know and I will help in anyway I can.

The two of you will be Tim's and Beach Bum's wives who recognize the danger and decide to skip town when your husbands refuse to heed your warnings. Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis will portray the two of you. With all of law enforcement busy with radioactive, zombified rodents you can have an uninterrupted crime spree that doesn't have to end with you driving into the Grand Canyon.

Suldog said...It would be utterly repugnant of me to tag you, but then beg off from being cast. OK. Fire away!

You're the assistant to Tim and Beach Bum. They have no respect for your opinion even though you're likely smarter than the two of them combined. You've been warning them that there is someone who can help but since he's that creepy foreign guy they don't want to listen and only poke you in the eye. Your part will be acted by Curly.

lecram said...You know I'm in and I'll even take the part of the creepy foreigner.

You may be creepy but you are the hope of the town if people would just get over themselves and listen to you. Many years ago you shared a particular brand of island mojo with some scientists who found it useful but after decades of life in this narrow-minded burg you're happy to let them be eaten by the zombie rodents if they don't want to listen to you. Harold Sakata (aka Odd Job from Goldfinger) will portray you.

mssolitaire said...you know I'd love to act in your crazy life bio-pic!

This is a life bio-pic? Wow! Well, in that case I guess you'll portray me. I'll be lecram's one friend in town. Growing up in a purple house made me sensitive to the folks most people shun. My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries too so I take a similar perverse delight in watching the cruel townspeople reap what they've sown. I'm also the midwife Gman summons when Mona gives birth to Harvey the Wonder Hamster. We're going to have you channel Stockard Channing's character from "Where the Heart Is" because in spite of what some goofy online thing says I think she looks more like me than the other celebrity matches. I also loved when that particular character used to pray at the breakfast table each morning for God to bless the food and "forgive the fornication which took place on this here table last night."

Rob said... Well, since I don't have a blog of my own, I guess a role in your movie is out for me!...

Well, Rob, I am an EOE filmmaker so blogger or not, if you wanna be in you're in. We'll just make you the mysterious but sagacious next door neighbor. You'll easily survive the radioactive-zombie-rodent plague due to your arcane knowledge of the secret voodoo curses known only to lecram and the members of the Manhattan Project.

VE said...Ooooh...I can't wait for the film. I hope Harvey the Wonder Hamster gets a bit part in it too...

VE didn't indicate a willingness to act in the movie but I am guessing from his enthusiasm about rodentia that he would function well as the Hamster, Guinea Pig, and Prairie Dog Wrangler. His outfit, "Furballs Ltd." will be supplying the necessary extras for the climactic scene. Harvey the Wonder Hamster will portray himself as the hero of our picture.



barman said...If you need any filler you can pitch me in... or not. Actually I would love to help out with the behind the scenes. Lighting or sound or even key grip what ever that is???

Key grip it is. Here are my keys. Keep a good grip on them so I can get home at the end of the day.







S said... OK waitaminit. How are you gonna make a movie with all these people living in different parts of the world? I didn't know you knew how to do that. Can you teach me some stuff? Maybe I'll just hang around and learn stuff. How's that?

You'll be my personal assistant. Just sit back and behold the wonder that is my writing, producing, and directing. Hey, that makes you my gopher! You're not radioactive are you?

You Know It's Bad When...

Diana stayed home from school yesterday because she was throwing up. She came out of her room at a normal time to get ready, wandered over to me and put her head in my lap before announcing, "I just puked up everything I ate yesterday." I simply told her to go back to bed.

She's actually a fairly easy sick person. Ever since she has been very little she just sleeps until she is better, with brief interludes for food intake and waste output. She stayed in bed for several hours before emerging to once again turn her stomach inside out. I announced I had purchased ginger ale and saltines for her dining pleasure. She groaned gratefully, took some with her, and returned to bed for several more hours.

By dinner time she seemed to have turned a corner and was looking for something slightly more substantial to ingest. She said she wasn't feeling horrible anymore. I said that was good since she still looked horrible. (Yes, I am a bad mom but she is so pale to begin with, when she looses what little color she has she looks absolutely deathly...plus her hair was on end...plus it was a test to see if she'd retaliate...the true test of Diana's wellness.) She retorted briefly before announcing that what was really wrong was she SMELLED horrible. I concurred.

"No, Mom. I really mean it. When I woke up this morning I didn't feel so good and I turned over to curl up in a ball but when I did I floofed my covers and caught a whiff of myself. That's when I ran to the bathroom to puke. I smell BAD! I spent all day in bed making sure I didn't floof my covers again because now I had my own bad stink PLUS puke stink."

"So you're saying this all could have been averted with basic hygiene?"

That's when she told me I was just plain horrible and I knew she had recovered. (In my defense, we both laughed ourselves silly over the exchanged.)

I am happy to report she managed to keep food down, bathe, and get to school today.

*For those of you who volunteered for parts in the Movie Meme, I am hoping to be ready to post that tomorrow. Stay tuned...

Dust is a Protective Covering

Rather a while ago I was given a bunch of awards. I thought maybe I finally ought to dust them off and acknowledge them. San declared me fun to read. VE, Trooper Thorn, and Suldog are certainly fun and silly reads but I am thinking the little girl on the bench might be an insult to their manhood.







Gman and Mona gave me this award. Looks a lot classier than I do in my tie dyes. Palm Springs Savant is probably the classiest person on my blogroll. He has weekly art posts and he always looks so dapper (but I'd love to see him in a tie dyed ascot!).









Mooseklahl, Maddy, Breazy, and Tor all felt I was worthy of this little bauble. It looks like it would hurt if it fell on my foot while I was dusting it on the mantle. Jocelyn and San certainly deserve this, though I hope it doesn't fall on their feet either. I'd avoid that danger by not dusting.





Kathryn was very sweet and called me a must see blog. And really everyone else I ever read and comment on deserves this...otherwise I wouldn't be reading and commenting on you.








Kathryn also had a couple of memes I had to steal. Granted this all occurred rather a while ago but here goes...

This is the "Finish the sentence with the 1st thought that comes to your mind" meme.

I know....nuttink!
I believe...in magic.
I fought....the law and the law won.
I am angered...by injustice.
I love...a rainy night.
I need...you. I need you I neeeeeeed you. (Though I absolutely loathe the song that line comes from.)
I take...'em as they come.
I hear... a Who.
I drink...I get drunk, I fall down, no problem. (Ok, not true. I am, if you haven't figured it out yet, filling this out with a lot of slogans, quotes, and lines from songs.)
I hate...canned peas, liver, and oysters.
I use...minty fresh Scope (actually I am a Listerine girl)
I want...you. I want you I waaaaaaaant you. (Even though I STILL hate that song.)
I like...big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel...with my fingers.
I wear...my heart on my sleeve.
I left...my heart in San Francisco. (I've been sleeveless ever since.)
I do...(Two words but a long sentence.)
I hope...you don't mind...I hope you don't mind...
I dream....of Jeannie.
I drive...6 white horses when I come.
I listen...to the walls.
I type...by the Columbus Method (find a key and land on it)
I think....therefore I am.
I wish...you well.
I am...woman. Hear me roar.
I regret...to inform you I didn't have any better ideas for posts today.
I care...fully open at other end.
I should...have known better.
I said...stop tormenting your brother/sister/me.
I wonder.... wonder, wonder, wonder who? Who wrote the book of love?
I changed...a ton of diapers before my youngest was potty trained.
I cry...you a river.
I lose...my mind.
I leave...on a jet plane.




This is the "Finish the sentence with the first WORD that comes to mind" meme.

Where is your cell phone? Desk
Your significant other? Away
Your hair? Mop
Your mother? Energetic
Your father? Rebellious
Your favorite thing? Chocolatecoveredsex
Your dream last night? Scary
Your favorite drink? Wet
Your dream goal? Sigh...
The room you are in? Living
Your ex? Angry
Your fear? Deadkids
Where do you want to be in six years? Earth
Where were you last night? Bed
What are you not? Thin
Muffins? Thanks!
One of your wish list items? Orgasm
Where you grew up? Purple
The last thing you did? E-mail
What are you wearing? Smile
Your TV? Off
Your pets? Dead
Your computer? Black
Your life? Unexpected
Your mood? Meh
Missing someone? Always
Your Car? Dented
Something you are not wearing? Flippers
Favorite store? Book
Your summer? Odd
Like someone? Who?
Your favorite color? Tie-dye
When was the last time you laughed? Spongebob
Last time you cried? Nightmare

Friday 55 & Da Count-Avast!

FRIDAY 55

Arg, ye scurvy scallawag and ye wenches.
It's time to get off yer pallets
and get yer festering hides topside.
Get to swabbing
and I'd best not catch you pilfering my rum
or lollygagging about,
ye sorry excuses for a crew,
else I'll be making you walk the plank.

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day!

*in the best piratey tradition, image pilfered shamelessly from http://www.maynardland.com


DA COUNT
Short and sweet this week. I'm counting the chance to be silly. It's a great way to blow off steam.

Slice of Lime-Sarong to Summer

The equinox is just around the corner
so that must mean
it's sarong to summer.

Resourcefulness

Well, isn't it just great fun watching the news these days? Banks are going under and markets are in an uproar. It's time to figure out how to gain some extra income.


280 WATTS Body Battery Calculator - Find Out How Much Electricity Your Body is Producing -

That doesn't seem like much. According to the 30 seconds of research I put into the matter that will power a 1/4 inch drill...for how long I don't know.





I reckon if there's going to be drilling going on this may be somewhat more lucrative.






$4675.00
If all else fails there's always this...

HumanForSale.com - Fun Quizzes

Maybe I should just put myself on eBay.

Honor Your Mentors

*This photo was scanned from my alma mater's alumni publication. If the photographer's name was given I'd credit that person. Unfortunately, it was not to be found.

The man in the picture is Dr. J., one of the professors in the Special Ed. department of the university where I earned my degree. He was, in fact, the founding chairman of the department. Special Education and preparing future teachers was not just a career path for Dr. J. It was a lifestyle. It was his calling.

When I went through the program he was teaching the introductory course and the course on assessment and planning. His intention was not merely that we have an overview of the history and philosophy of special education, or of the types of educational challenges students would present with, or what the biggest issues of the day were in this particular field. Yes, he covered all of that but he also wanted to build into his students a mindset of enabling our future students to achieve their highest potential. He wanted us to first be able to look at the world through the eyes of someone who was faced with difficulties, not so we could learn pity but so we could gain empathy. We spent some of our early classes "handicapped" in some way. Some of us were expected to take notes with our non-dominant hand or our notebooks were masked by a cover so we could only see to write in them by looking through a mirror. Some were given earphones which played a constant buzzing during the lecture. Many other modes were employed as well in order to simulate various learning disabilities and to frustrate our ability to attend and keep up. When the novelty wore off he spoke very quietly to tell us this was the sort of thing our future students lived with every day but it didn't mean they were unable to learn. It meant we'd have to be creative as to how we facilitated their learning and this is what we'd spend the next 4 years preparing to do. First lesson: Show rather than tell.

Dr. J. showed us much. He gave us an example of what occurs when theoretical knowledge and compassion are combined in a practical manner. Truthfully, I have to say the department was blessed with professors of this ilk. With the exception of one, each professor was genuinely skilled in his or her sub-specialty within the department and passionate about enabling students to reach their fullest potential.

By the middle of the semester I was bearing quite a load of guilt. As it happened his class was at 1pm, followed immediately by another class at 3pm. I also had a morning class from 10am until noon. If I was going to get any kind of lunch it had to be during the noon hour. Poverty stricken student that I was, that meant I had to eat in the commons where my meal plan was already paid for. I'd eat quickly since the line was always long and took forever to get through. Then I'd rush to Dr. J's class which was located on the second floor of a perpetually over-warm building. It is worth noting that Dr. J. had a deeply soothing baritone voice. Having a full stomach, sitting in a too warm room, listening to a hypnotic voice was a terrible combination in terms of maintaining alertness. I'd park myself in the very front row, right next to an open window in the hopes that it would help me stay awake because I really did value the class and very much wanted to pay attention. Nonetheless, I had many pages in my notebook where the writing turned into an indecipherable clot of scribbles as my fingers continued to form letters with my pen but my hand failed to move across the page in the process. I stopped after class one day to apologize profusely for my inability to stay awake, Dr. J. smiled and laughed and said he found it amusing to watch each day but he wasn't terribly worried about it because it was clear I was putting forth an effort in my work, grasping the concepts, and demonstrating great competence in other ways. He also reminded me that when I was teaching students with learning disabilities there'd be many times I didn't think they were paying attention but I'd find out they had soaked up much more than I thought possible, the overall outcome more than a single moment would be the proof. That's not to say he was a pushover. It was clear he wasn't going to cut a person slack if they weren't making any effort.

Dr. J. also worked tirelessly outside of the classroom. He advised local schools in their programs. Also, when their children were mostly grown he and his wife adopted an autistic boy who had been in foster care for a number of years. Dr. J. was equally passionate about advocating for foster children who so often had educational needs but were slipping through the cracks. In time their son grew from a boy prone to violent rages to a man who was the local "go to guy" when you had a broken or malfunctioning electronic device. Dr. J. didn't just lecture his students from theory, he was living every word of wisdom he sought to impart to us.

Dr. J. also took a good bit of interest in his students even after they graduated. He told them he'd continue to be a resource if needed. When Mr. Lime and I announced our intentions to move to Trinidad to begin a program focused on special needs students he was an ardent supporter who went out of his way to put us in touch with people who would be able to provide financial support. When we returned from Trinidad due to administrative problems which were beyond our ability to solve he continued to be a voice of encouragement as we struggled with a sense of failure.

Last week, I received the alumni publication with the above photo and the announcement of a new program in Dr. J's honor. Lots of other scholarships and programs have been established for various professors and deans over the years and I am cynical enough to say there's been a lot of self promotion in many of them. I am happy to see Dr. J. and his wife receiving some long due recognition, though I suspect he'd shrink from it to a degree and only agree to have his name on it if he is assured it is meeting the needs of the people he has spent his life serving. Today, I'd like to honor him here in my own small way.

Rewind/Fast Forward

(Filled out Sunday evening)

Ten seconds ago I was trying to decide what to post.
Ten minutes ago I was reading about some heroic people. (Thanks, Beach Bum for the link and I hope you will accept this meme instead of the one you tagged me with but that I did a while ago here.)
Ten hours ago I was stepping out of the shower.
Ten days ago I was attending the first football game in my life to which I actually paid attention. (Mind you I grew up across the street from my high school football stadium and I have had 2 older children who spent 4 years in marching band. It's a cultivated skill to attend a game and ignore it completely under such circumstances. I paid careful attention to the half-time show though.)
Ten weeks ago I was lolling on the beach.
Ten months ago I was admitting to my fondness for Spongebob Squarepants.
Ten years ago I was considering getting a haircut.


----- ----- -----Perhaps as I consider the future I should be a bit more ambitious....


Ten years from now I will be Empress of the Universe and using Uranus as my footstool.
Ten months from now I will be throwing my head back and cackling maniacally. Mwahahahaha!!!!!
Ten weeks from now my nefarious plot will just be coming to fruition.
Ten days from now I will begin Phase One of Lime's Nefarious Plot to Rule the Universe.
Ten hours from now I will be lining up my henchmen.
Ten minutes from now I will be eliminating all who do not bow to my will.
Ten seconds from now I will be hitting publish so this is scheduled to post when I am out of bed but still not quite conscious.

*In Meme Movie production news I am still working on it. Ok, I haven't even started, I've been too busy. But as soon as I can get my writers working we may have a plot to go with.

Da Count-Isaac

My "baby" became an official teenager this week. He's also as tall as me now and his feet are much bigger than mine. When he dons his football pads I hardly recognize him. So he is hardly a baby any more. The team of teachers he is with at school this year asked parents to write "A Million Words or Less" about their children. Now you all know me well enough to be fearing for the sanity of the teachers because of what I could do to such an assignment. First off, I want to get pedantic and tell them it would technically be a million words or "fewer" since "fewer" denotes numbers of items and "less" denotes degrees of a quality. Next, I am tempted to produce a 999,999 word opus. Recognizing this would not endear Isaac or me to the teachers and wanting him to have a much better year than last year I opted to submit the following piece, which will also function as this week's count. Thirteen years old...where has the time gone?


Once upon a time there was a little boy named Isaac who had two older sisters. The sisters dressed him in girl clothes, invited him to play Barbies, and barely let him get a word in edgewise. They loved their brother and he loved them but he eventually got tired of them thinking he was a younger sister. He grew out of the Barbie stage pretty quickly and hipped his sisters to the joys of Legos, cars, and dinosaurs...well, he tried to anyway. The girls got in on the Lego action, but not so much on the cars and dinos. Isaac also exerted his masculine self by emulating a preschool version of a cross between Tarzan and WWF personalities. Sisters, parents, and visitors alike quickly learned how bad an idea it was to sit on the floor since the young Isaac regarded this as an invitation to tackle them.



As Isaac grew he developed a real fondness for critters of the 6 and 8 legged varieties and his mother had to learn how to groove on bugs with genuine enthusiasm. She introduced him to the wonders of amphibians and legless reptiles though. Together they found a mutual thrill in photographically documenting his backyard renditions of The Croc Hunter whenever he discovered a new bug, frog, or snake. When he needed more excitement or the weather was uncooperative (though he and I have somewhat different notions of what constitutes bad weather) he amused himself by feigning deity and creating whole new species of animals before documenting their habits and habitats with scientifically accurate descriptors. When zoological exploration was not fruitful Isaac was often found fending off hordes of imaginary barbarian invaders with nothing but a toy golf club or a rubber alligator. Constructing Bionicles, writing stories, drawing maps and cartoons, and designing football uniforms were other activities he’d settle for in lieu of swinging from the drapes. When he was finally old enough to take the hunter safety course and obtain his license last year he was thrilled to be able to do some real hunting. These days he most enjoys playing baseball and football, playing Wii, drawing cartoons, reading, and generating lists of favorite words based on how they feel to say and how they sound. Recently he found out he’s good at hanging drywall when he and his dad began a demolition project in the den.

When the adolescent estrogen level in the house becomes toxic, Isaac finds sports and hard physical play a good antidote. He is a gentleman though and is happy to play with his sisters when they are interested. His best friend’s family says he is very tender toward, as well as patient and helpful with, the younger children. When I was injured badly a couple years ago and had a long, hard recovery he was the family member who was most sensitive to my pain and frustration.




Sometimes as the youngest in the family he has unreasonable expectations of himself by thinking he should be able to do everything as well as people who are older and who have had much more practice or experience. When he doesn’t reach his own goals in his own time frame or when others jump on his case and try to make him feel small, he can become highly self-critical or pretend he doesn’t care anymore. Now that his various glands are dumping gallons of hormones into his system he can react angrily too. There’s nothing like a few whacks at the Bat Away, pogoing around on the trampoline, or shooting hoops to help restore calm. Following the calm with a tickle fight, some Far Side type humor, or a few horrendous puns reintroduces levity, at which point Isaac’s reasoning ability reappears so he can look at things more clearly. Fortunately, he can hold off on the whacking and pogoing until he gets home so there won’t be a need to install a trampoline or a Bat Away in the classroom but he certainly isn’t averse to recess or lunch as a pressure valve.



After surviving his own personal Annus Horribilus for 6th grade and having a summer to recover and be encouraged by his older sister’s fond memories of the Pioneer Team, it is with guarded optimism that he greets 7th grade. The rest of his family looks forward with great anticipation to living with a happier and more relaxed Isaac. Trampolines and Bat Aways are expensive to keep replacing. Here’s to a great year!

Slice of Lime-Light One Candle

On the 7th anniversary of the attack that occurred on September 11, 2001 I offer this. Yes, this song references Channukah but I think the lyrics transcend that. Regardless of feelings about what has resulted from 9/11/01, regardless of opinions about the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq, regardless of opinions about the current administration or thoughts of Us vs. Them, please remember those who have been lost, those who have sacrificed to protect us, and consider what is your part in making sure the light is not extinguished by hate. This is not a pro-war or anti-war statement. It is an encouragement to personal reflection as befitting the day.



LIGHT ONE CANDLE
Peter Yarrow- ©1983 Silver Dawn Music ASCAP

Light one candle for the Maccabee children
With thanks that their light didn't die
Light one candle for the pain they endured
When their right to exist was denied
Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice
Justice and freedom demand
But light one candle for the wisdom to know
When the peacemaker's time is at hand

chorus:
Don't let the light go out!
It's lasted for so many years!
Don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears.

Light one candle for the strength that we need
To never become our own foe
And light one candle for those who are suffering
Pain we learned so long ago
Light one candle for all we believe in
That anger not tear us apart
And light one candle to find us together
With peace as the song in our hearts

(chorus)

What is the memory that's valued so highly
That we keep it alive in that flame?
What's the commitment to those who have died
That we cry out they've not died in vain?
We have come this far always believing
That justice would somehow prevail
This is the burden, this is the promise
This is why we will not fail!

(chorus)

Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!
Don't let the light go out!

Weird Politics-I'm Calling for a Redo

Works for me. Can we get Maxine on a third party ticket somehow?

*image from www.pythononline.com

He hasn't got shit all over 'im. I'd vote for him.

The Republican and Democratic candidates are a cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters and tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms.


(Thanks to all for the sanity maintaining suggestions yesterday.)

You Might Think...

...spending 6 weeks in New Orleans' lower 9th ward working among people who have lost everything and who are still fighting for some pretty basic things 3 years later would create a deep sense of gratitude for what one has and less of a sense of entitlement. You might think that, but you'd be wrong. You might think someone who spent that kind of time doing that kind of work would come back more inclined to make requests rather than demands. You'd be wrong. You might even think said individual would return home and perhaps be more encouraging toward her sister when her sister exhibits personal growth. You'd be wrong.

You might think when this 17 year old girl comes back and complains bitterly about small inconveniences, demands immediate gratification, snaps at anyone who does not capitulate, berates the sister who has gone out of her way to be welcoming, and dares to suggest it is everyone else's fault when she is called to account for her bad attitude that the mother would want to backhand her into next week. You'd be right.

Sing a Song of Meme-ishness

This has been sitting in drafts since I pilfered it from Airplanejayne.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions...No repeats on songs!

Pick an artist: Weird Al Yankovic

(You didn't honestly expect me to do this straight did you?)

1. Are you a male or female?

I Think I'm a Clone Now

2. Describe yourself:

She Drives Like Crazy

3. How do you feel about yourself?

Dare to Be Stupid

4. Describe where you currently are:

Nature Trail to Hell

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Amish Paradise

6. Your best friend is:

Harvey the Wonder Hamster

7. Your favorite color is:
White & Nerdy

8. You know that:

I Want a New Duck

9. What's the weather like?

Christmas at Ground Zero

10. If your life was a television show, what would it be called?

Weasel Stomping Day

11. What is life to you?

Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet Near Mars

12. What is the best advice you have to give?

Everything You Know is Wrong

13. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Waffle King


In other meme related news, Suldog has tagged me to make a movie of my life and cast the various people in my life with famous actors. VE did this some time ago only he cast the roles of fellow bloggers. I've exhausted myself with 15 minutes of thought on the whole matter and decided I'll do a movie with fellow bloggers rather than my family. Suldog totally copped out on the whole thing by saying it was unsafe to try to cast any female because invariably someone would be insulted and yet he tagged me with it. It was a move that was slick as snot, let me tell ya. So I will take up the challenge but I sure don't want to get in any trouble by creating a role for one blogger and not another or maybe creating a role for someone who doesn't want to be in this future blockbuster. So if you want to be cast in a sweeping space saga of zany adventures in a slapstick historical docudrama shot like a spaghetti western let me know. Think of it as Merchant/Ivory forming an uneasy union with Lucas/Spielberg in order to do battle against a Mel Brooks/Clint Eastwood led gang all while wondering which side Michael Moore will propagandize as leading a great conspiracy against the public...really, it's going to be great. Weird Al has already agreed to score the film.

Friday 55& Da Count In Meme Form

For ages I have done Friday 55 (compose a story in 55 words). Often I make it relate to Da Count, (count blessings not bemoan their absence). Some have dubbed me Queen of the Twisted Meme. This week I will attempt the perfect union of all three. Gees, I sure hope I don't sprain something!*

CraverVII shared rules.

• Write about 5 specific ways blogging has affected you, either positively or negatively.
• Link back to the person who tagged you.
• Link back to the parent post, so she can track the meme.
• Tag a few friends or five, or none at all.
• Post these rules-- or just have fun breaking them.*

(Lime bellies up to the keyboard, cracks her knuckles, takes a deep breath, and prepares to dazzle the crowd with a previously unseen union of meme, Friday 55, and Da Count. Should she fail readers will click to the next blog within seconds. Success will etch her name in blog history. The crowd falls silent...)*

• I have a creative outlet that doesn't cost me a dime.
• I've gotten to connect with fascinating people all over the world.
• Some of those people have become dear friends even across distance.
• I've gained a network of support and inspiration I never imagined.
• I noticed blogging expands my heart, my mind, and my butt.*

*Notice each section has 55 words. The crowd goes wild...

Slice of Lime-On the Road Again

School is back in session so I am back to the ghastly early mornings. (click through to a shocking scene of early morning horror) It also means the Mom Taxi gets fired up and has many miles logged on it. I've tweaked Willie Nelson's On the Road Again lyrics to fit my situation a bit more.




On the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I live is drivin' kids to see their friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin' places that I've been
Seein' things that I will often see again,
And I can't wait to get on the road again.

On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world be turnin' our way
And our way
Is on the road again

(What's going on back there? Don't make me pull this car over!)


*There seems to be some confusion regarding when this picture was taken. The car pics were taken yesterday at roughly 4 PM meaning I had plenty of time to wake up and be a presentable and functioning person. The link in the first sentence of this post takes you to the image of the horror that is me at 5:30 AM.

More Weird Politics

Last week I had fun at the Democrats' expense. This week the Republicans get their turn.

With his Sanford and Son schtick, McCain makes light of Palin being one heartbeat away from the Presidency,
"Oooo... Its the Big One... You hear that Elizabeth... I'm comin' to you, I'm comin' home to Georgia!"

Meanwhile, Cindy McCain gets flustered when she tries to help John count how many houses they own.





Guiliani wonders, "What the hell is that smell? Did Palin drag a moose carcass in here?"




Thompson mutters under his breath, "I swear if they play the Law and Order theme for a sound check one more time I am going to beat this guy with the microphone."