Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Weird New Year


*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/lehighvalleypa/3027917998/in/photostream/


Looking for somethign quirkier than the ball dropping in Times Square? Head to Bethlehem, PA for the New Year's Peep Show. They drop a lit 25 lb fiberglass replica of a marshmallow peep at midnight.

Happy New Year's

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

That *@#$%&$ Meme

Cocotte tagged me to do some Photo Meme where I pull out the 4th picture in my 4th folder. That picture was so utterly boring and unworthy of posting I am choosing to give you this one instead. It's 4th from the last in the 4th folder. Yeah, that's all my own hair when I haven't tried to tame it at all. It kinda goes with the next thing I've been tagged with.

Gab has tagged me with another variation of the infernal "Things about Me Meme." At various times I have been tagged for 8 weird things about me, 7 unique things, 6 shocking things, and maybe even 5 raaaaandom thiiiings. This time it's for 10 honest things.

1. I'm still feeling lazy, too lazy to be at all inventive or creative in this blog post.
2. I never changed out of my pj's yesterday.
3. I never even brushed my teeth until 3pm.
4. I ate breakfast at 2 pm and had Christmas cookies after that.
5. Diana wanted to go to a friend's house so I told her I'd drop her in the driveway because I wasn't changing out of my pj's.
6. I never cooked anything for dinner.
7. I did run the dishwasher.
8. Mostly I kept my computer chair and couch from floating off into space in the event of a failure of gravity.
9. I haven't showered yet today and I am kind of grossing myself out.
10. I'm going to go eat, then shower and dress in a leisurely fashion before I decide whether or not to be a slug again today.

If you came here hoping for entertainment here are some old memes I think were among the funniest.

8 Secrets
The Fabulously Weird and Entirely Original Food Meme by Lime
This one's worth the musical responses
Tale of the Golden Phallus
Weird Googling
Total Ellipse of the Blog
Continuing Education

Monday, December 29, 2008

Uh, Yeah...It's like that today...


Forecast for today....late rising followed by slothfulness which may be punctuated with naps.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Season of Lights

To those who celebrate the Light of the World, Merry Christmas.
*image from www.wpclipart.com



To those celebrating the great miracle, Happy Hanukkah.
*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/waterbum/1340597922/


To those just glad the days are now growing longer, Happy Solstice.

*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/7518677@N04/527632140/

Posting may be sporadic between now and the New Year. Wishing you all peace and happiness.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

SIlly Christmas Lyrics

Mark Leslie's Silly Christmas Lyric meme



Mark started an annual Silly Christmas Lyric Meme a couple of years ago. The idea is to consider lyrics that either confound or beg for shredding. Here is his entry for this year. Here is my entry from two years ago. This year I will be attacking Bob Geldoff's Do They Know It's Christmas?

Now, before anyone begins to attack me as perhaps lacking a heart for the starving millions let me say my attack is not a manifestation of Scrooge-like attitude. I just have thought, ever since the first time I heard the song that it was ridiculous in its oversimplification of matters, not to mention a pathetic attempt at emotional manipulation. Let me also say, I will credit Bob Geldoff for being moved enough to do something to alleviate the suffering of millions of people who were in famine at the time. If more people listened to the voice that says, "Get off your butt and do something," there would be a lot less suffering in the world. I still find the lyrics inane, incorrect, and shamefully manipulative. Let's examine them, shall we? My comments will be in italics.

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
(Ok, no problems so far. Christmas cheer but let's be aware of other less fortunate people. That's appropriate.)

At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
(So Johnny, when you go to bed to wait for Santa...just remember the bogeyman is lurking out there too.)

Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of doom.
(Sing it with me now, to the tune of "Silver Bells"...bells of doom, bells of doom...it's Christmastime in the desert...)

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
(Wow, God. I'm sooo glad you let someone else suffer. Really, thanks!)

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
(Apparently, Bob Geldoff isn't aware of the snows of Mr. Kilimanjaro, which happens to be in Africa. As for the Sahara, well, snow would be unusual there at any time. Also, once you get south of the equator it would be summer time, hence snow would be unlikely. Are we supposed to feel bad for anyone who doesn't get snow. OOOH, those poor Australians, and Hawaiians, and even the Floridians...there won't be snow in those places either! How will they live?)

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
(Well, hey, isn't that true for all of us? Really? We're just taking it for granted.)

(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
(You mean to tell me the Nile River dried up too???)

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?
(Well, I can attest to the fact that people all over Africa know it's Christmas. My friend Regina is an ethnic Kamba from Kenya. She grew up as a Catholic in Mombasa. She was well aware of Christmas. Her husband is a Luo from near Nairobi. His Protestant family celebrated Christmas too. My friend Aggie is an Ashanti from Ghana, which happens to be across the continent from Kenya, in case your geography is a bit iffy, she celebrated Christmas. Her husband is from a different tribe and area of Ghana...also a celebrator of Christmas. Interestingly, all four of these people, when they came to the US wanted to know what on Earth Kwanza was. That holiday utterly confounded them. Oh, I also had a friend who was a Peace Corps volunteer in Botswana, which is in the southern part of Africa. She tells me Christmas is well known in Botswana too. Also, the Muslims [generally north Africa] I have known from Africa seem to share an awareness of the holiday, as well. In fact, the Koran has a description of the birth of Jesus and makes special note of it. There are some differences between the Koran's telling and that of the Christian Bible but it's still there. So the evidence seems clear that Christmas is widely, though perhaps not universally, known on the continent of Africa.)

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(How is toasting the starving millions going to help them?)

(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all? (The sun in Trinidad was burning when I lived there. Was I also being toasted? Oh, yeah, they know it's Christmas there too.)

Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again
(How about it we do what we can to make sure hungry people can eat all year long, not just at Christmas. How about if we also do so in a way that maintains their dignity too. Need some ideas? Heifer Project Kiva Compassion International Or even... FreeRice.com if your own money is tight.
All you have to do is play the game.
Oh, and while you're at it, make a donation [of of money or good food, not just the 2 year old can of red beets collecting dust in your cabinet] or volunteer some time at one of your local food pantries or soup kitchens. There are hungry people all over.)


Monday, December 22, 2008

Cookies and the CIty

It was a very busy weekend. Friday was a snow day so I finally began my annual cookie blitz. Since last Christmas there has been a boy at our church who has been begging to come help me bake cookies this year. Every time he sees me I hear, "Mrs. Lime! You and me, we're gonna bake cookies for Christmas this year, right?" I always said I'd be glad to have him come help. When the time came I asked him last weekend if he'd be available this weekend. When we had the snow day I asked if he'd like to come over Friday instead. Keep in mind my kids have not wanted to participate in the annual baking melee for a while. Since this boy joined us it brought out the volunteer spirit in Isaac. Here are the two helpers I had for most of the day.It worked out well. Our helper likes measuring things but not mixing or cracking eggs. He measured, Isaac cracked eggs and washed up in between the 9 different doughs we made up, I mixed. They both helped me get cookies on trays and in and out of the oven. On Friday we got through baking 4 of the 9 doughs before everyone passed out for the night. Yesterday I finished baking 3 more doughs. So far I've done 66 dozen cookies. I sent my newest helper home with a big bag for himself and said it was up to him as to whether or not he shared them with anyone. When I sent him home with more on Sunday, he confided that he had hidden the others in his room. I told him his secret was safe with me.

Saturday my dad invited me to go into Philadelphia to see A Chorus Line at the Forrest Theater since he is a subscriber and my stepmother couldn't go with him due to her somewhat complicated recovery from knee replacement surgery. I felt bad that she couldn't go but she seemed quite happy to let me enjoy the ticket with Dad. I brought her a bag of cookies though so she'd have a treat for the day. Kind of a lopsided trade, I know.


It's been a long time since I had the chance to go into Philadelphia (and I do love that city) and even longer since I saw a show anywhere. Seeing Boathouse Row along the Schuylkill River as we drive in always makes me happy. We actually came in behind Boathouse Row so I swiped the picture below. For a panoramic view of the gorgeous effect of the year round lights on Boathouse Row as well as the Philadelphia Art Museum (which I am REALLY itching to get back to) click here. Really, take a minute and go check it out.
*image from http://www.cis.rit.edu



As we headed toward Center City we could see City Hall with William Penn perched atop. When I was a kid no building reached above Billy's head. It gave the city a unique feeling because it was "short." Times change though and now there are several buildings that exceed his height. Of course I had to look among the international flags to see if I could find the colors of Trinidad and Tobago flying. The flags are labeled and go alphabetically so it was easy to search. Sadly, there was no flag in between Turkey and Ukraine (nor was it before Turkey where it should have been...I do actually know how to alphabetize...it's Monday morning, ok? I have a Cookie hangover). Mayor Nutter needs to account for this, in my opinion.


We parked and walked to the Forrest Theater, which was built in 1927. It was named for 19th century actor Edwin Forrest. According to the website, it's the oldest continuously operated opera house in the US. It's quite lovely. I swiped these pictures from the Schubert Organization website. I didn't figure the folks I was sitting next to would be all that thrilled to have me snapping away. The show was terrific.



After the show we had about an hour and half to kill before our dinner reservations. Since my stepmother's knee has been a major hindrance for her for a number of years I think it was a treat for Dad, as much as for me, to be able to amble around the city. He wanted to check out the Holiday Spectacular that plays in the lobby of the brand new Comcast Center so we headed that way. It was pretty nifty. Here's about 3 minutes of the show in case you are interested. there was some very clever stuff that I didn't capture but this gives a feel for it.



Once it finished we hoofed it back to the restaurant but I paused long enough to try to capture City Hall at night. I'm not terribly experienced with nighttime photography and I didn't have my tripod. All things considered, I was reasonably satisfied with the results.



Dad took me to The Oceanaire because he is all about fine dining. I have to say this is the sort of place that is so far off my radar because it is so far outside of my budgetary constraints but wow! The food was to die for. When I raved about the amusees bouches (thank you, Food Network for informing me as to what the heck an amusee bouche is [translation: mouth amuser, a single tasty bite of something]) the waitress brought another plate which Dad shoved in my direction. Then someone else brought us another pair of them and Dad pushed them to me again. Uh, yeah. I got 5 tasty bites and I'd have been happy to eat a whole plate of them but there were some crab cakes that were melt in your mouth good, cider roasted squash, spinach salad, and then a creme brulee that could have fed both of us. Uh, yeah...I needed someone to roll me out to the car when it was over.

Good time was had by all though.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Da Coount in 55-Pellet Stove.

FRIDAY 55

In August the utility company decided our monthly heating costs would double.
In September we looked at heating alternatives.
In October we ordered something.
In November the temperatures were like January.
This week we had our pellet stove installed.
The pellets resemble kibble.
It's green heat.
I'm counting the stove.
OPEC can kiss my arse.



DA COUNT

From last year to this year the oil/gas company doubled it's prices. When I got the budget plan this summer I was astounded and called to make sure a mistake hadn't been made. I was told rather tersely that many customers had their plans triple...as if I was supposed to say,"Thank you for merely doubling my payments, how very magnanimous of you." I.think.not. Of course right after we ordered the pellet stove the price of pellets shot up becasue lots of other people got the same idea but that's ok. Truthfully, if I am going to pay high prices either way, I'd rather do it this way. The pellets are made of reclaimed sawdust and shavings from lumber mills. I very much like that idea of not letting anything go to waste and that it's a renewable resource. Because of the way the pellets are compressed and the way the stove burns it's supposed to be very efficient with very little ash compared to a fire place or traditional wood stove. I expect today it will get a big workout since we are supposed to get hit with a lot of snow. I'm counting my stove. She just needs a name. Any suggestions?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Slice of Lime/TriniThursday-Flipping for Roti (and Tie Dye)

You're going to get a little bit of everything today, a recipe, pictures, tie dye, Trinidad, limelets. As I mentioned, last week was Diana's birthday. In our house the birthday person gets to decided on the evening's menu. Both Diana and Calypso have picked roti as part of their birthday dinner every year. A couple of years ago I posted a recipe for my favorite type of roti (an East Indian flat bread) here. If you want the recipe go check that out. Today I am pretty much only going to describe the process. First a gratuitous Lil' Limelette picture. Aaawwww, so cute. That's proof that Diana has loved roti from the first taste. A friend in Trinidad had come over to teach me how to make it and Diana thieved a piece. Please also take note of the tie dye shorts she is wearing. To be honest I am shocked she is wearing clothes at all in this picture. She rarely kept them on at that age. This is another constant in her life. For her birthday she asked me to pick her up early from school so she could have a couple hours to romp around the house naked before her brother got home. Roti, tie dye, and nudity...the constants in our lives.



The only problem was that this year she wanted both roti and quesadillas. I told her if I was doing the meal alone I couldn't be frying up both things at the same time because I only have 2 hands (if you make roti with out help that's really all you can do at the time aside from occasionally giving a pot a stir) and that would 4 hands. She said she actually was willing to help me make the roti because she wanted to learn how to do it so when she is away at college and gets hungry for it she can make some. At that moment the angels sang, the clouds parted, the sun streamed down and I began to feel woozy from the shock of anyone volunteering to help in the kitchen. Once I recovered I expressed delight at the brilliance of such a notion. I instructed Diana in assembling the recipe and how to knead the dough. Once it's been properly kneaded it has to relax. It doesn't have yeast in it but it needs to sit around and contemplate it's state. Once the dough has navel gazed you have to form the loyah (balls) in a particular fashion that requires a little practice. Diana was at first confounded but she seemed to get the hang of it. After the loya are formed they have to rest and contemplate their place in the universe now that they've been broken off the larger mass of dough. Once the dough has overcome its personal existential crisis relaxed again you can begin rolling and frying. Diana started with the rolling. She did a terrific job.


Carefully carry a roti to the heated tawah (or platin if you are creole, or stone if you are anyone else) and flop it on. We are making sada roti which doesn't actually get fried with oil. It just cooks on a dry tawah but you'll live if we call it frying since the other types of roti get fried. Anyway, let it cook until the surface bubbles up. Flip that baby over with a dabla. If you don't have a dabla, use whatever you have. I love my dabla.


After you flip the roti you're going to have to press all around the edges of it with your dabla so the edges cook. A proper roti will swell when it cooks so you have to get those edges to the tawah.


When it's done flop it on a plate of other rotis and cover them up with a towel to keep them warm. Check out the groovy tie dye towel!


Oh yeah, I forgot...you gotta have something to eat with the roti. Curried venison is very nice with roti. Even though Trinis think I am totally weird for combining creole food and Indian food I also like stewed chicken with my roti too. Diana stayed Indian and decided she wanted curried channa and aloo (that's spuds and chick peas [or little butts, as Diana calls them] to the rest of you). Ok, quick recipe...6 spuds, a can of chick peas (drained), an onion, 2 cloves of garlic, curry, and some oil. Heat the oil, saute the diced onions and garlic, toss in a bunch of curry and heat it all around before you toss in the chopped spuds and chick peas. Turn to low and cover until spuds are tender. Stir occasionally and make sure it's not cooking dry. You may need to add a little water now and then. I also made sure to use my Trini curry as opposed to Kenyan curry. When I pointed out the difference to Diana she remarked at how global our kitchen and the food we eat was...Kenyan curry, Trini food, Pennsylvania German food, Mexican quesadillas, etc, etc. I smiled that another lesson was not lost on her. That's all been intentional, kiddo.



Ok, so now it's all done and ready to eat. Aside from just being yummy, roti is practical. It's not just food, it's a utensil.



Mmmmm, good stuff. Diana did very well. Because she was helping I had time to take the pictures of the process so you can either thank her for that. I still haven't had time to finish decorating so you'll excuse all that stuff on the table behind me. I'm too busy eating because as they say in Trinidad, "Bettah yuh belly burst than good food waste."

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wedded Weirdness

We chose to have our wedding ceremony at 7pm so it would be a candlelight service. This meant the reception did not start until after 9pm. Therefore, the party was still in swing at 10:50 pm at which point the Head Elk at the Elk's Club where we held the reception informed us that in ten minutes there would be a "brief moment" during which the lights were turned out as part of some Elk ritual. He made it sound like the darkness would last mere seconds. Instead, the lights went out and a voice came over the PA system and an extended tribute was paid to "dead Elk brethren everywhere." In.the.middle.of.our.reception. It was bizarre.

On our first anniversary, Mr. Lime and I booked dinner and overnight reservations at a lovely little inn near where we lived. We were such gluttons during dinner that upon retiring to our cozy and romantic accommodations we regarded each other in our respective states of bloat and opted to roll around on the bed moaning and groaning in discomfort rather than in fits of wild passion. We watched Rudolph and Frosty on TV while waiting for digestion to progress enough to facilitate conjugation without pain.

Diana was born just five days before our second anniversary. Since I had been on bed rest for five weeks prior to her birth, had 2 days of labor before giving birth via c-section, and had only been discharged to home the day before my anniversary I had made no real plans for our anniversary. My mother came up to help me the first week home. On the day of our anniversary I was nursing the baby while laying down on the couch (c-sec bellies aren't overly fond of bearing that weight on mother's lap). When I sat up to burp the baby she not only brought up a gas bubble but the ejected every drop of what she had just ingested, thus soaking my entire left side from ear to hip. My right breast was leaking enough to soak the other side of me. Since that was only my 5th day as a nursing mother and only about the second day since my milk had come in I was not terribly adept at stanching the flow. The postpartum hormone crash was also hitting me hard, as was lack of sleep (since I thought I had to make up for 5 weeks of inactivity in 24 hours). I stood, drenched in vomit and milk, in the living room with a crying, spewing newborn and I began to sob. At that moment flowers were delivered. My mother received them as a dazed delivery man gaped at the horror before him. I assumed the flowers were congratulations for having a baby. When my mother read the card declaring they were in celebration of our anniversary my sobs turned to wailing because only then did I realize I had forgotten our anniversary. I was clearly a failure as both a wife and mother.

It was then that Mr. Lime entered, asked if I had gotten the flowers he sent and told me, "Happy Anniversary, honey!" I bawled in utter despair and sputtered in between sobs about what a terrible failure I was. Mr. Lime stood there stunned beyond words when my mother took charge and announced, " Postpartum hormone crash and lack of sleep. Don't take it personally. I will be enforcing nap time for the new mother tomorrow."

Today is our 20th anniversary. I am reasonably sure there won't be any Elks, massive bloat, or baths of milk vomit....at least I hope so.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Quilts on Tuesday-She Must Be Crazy

Recently I did a series on quilts in my possession and why they are so special to me. As I have said before, it is hard for me to consider sleeping under a commercially produced comforter. Mom mom has kept me in quilts since I was four. She has also provided quilts for each of my kids since they were infants. Unfortunately, since Diana got a double bed about 4 years ago she has been using a soulless commercial quilt.

That will be changing in the next few months. She will be graduating and heading off to college in the Fall. It is important to me that she have a decent quilt to take with her. We have talked on and off about a quilt for her for some time. She expressed a desire for flannel. Here is an example of the pattern of a rag quilt I want to make for her. It seems like it will lend itself to my very beginning level of skills and my interest in piecing rather than hand quilting. Rag quilts have exposed frayed seams and no bound edges. This pattern sticks with squares, which will make piecing easier for a novice like me.

Although my mom could easily make any sort of quilt Diana could want I really want to do most of the work with Mom as an overseeing consultant or maybe an assistant. I think it's time I learn to do something of this nature. I have to say Mom has already been indispensable. I showed her the design, told her how big I wanted each block and how big I wanted the finished product. She punched all the information into some snazzy quilt software she has and it told me how much fabric of each color I'd need. She also agreed to go halvesies on the fabric since the cost of that kind of serious yardage stopped me in my tracks. Since a rag quilt basically is three layers of flannel it ran into some hefty change. I did manage to find plain king-sized flannel sheets on sale for $20 which I will use for the middle layer. BIG bargain! Woohoo!

Now the fun part comes. For Diana's birthday I gave her just the sheets but didn't tell her why. She is confounded as to why I got her king-sized flannel sheets. For Christmas she will be getting the plain backing fabric from me and the different plaid patterns for the top from my mom. It's going to be an interesting stretch of time until Diana finally knows what she is going to be getting because it is driving her crazy trying to figure out why she got the sheets.

Ssshhh....don't tell.

I'll keep you posted on the progress once she gets all the fabric and I start actually assembling it. If I succeed I can cross #46 off my bucket list.

Monday, December 15, 2008

*Rant Alert

I have cone to the conclusion that my health insurance company is not in the business of insuring my health. They seem determined to ruin it. Why, you ask? Well, we have been insured by the same company for the last 15 years. Let's take a look at some of their more obnoxious dealings with us in that period of time. These are just the things off the top of my head.

  • Refusal to pay for a visit to the ER and subsequent surgery to drain a staph infection in his knee when Mr. Lime presented with extreme knee pain, noticeable inflammation, and a fever...late in the evening the Friday before a Memorial Day. We were away from home visiting family. The insurance company said he should have gone to the doctor's office in our own town instead. I told them if they could provide me with a list of doctors who have office hours at that given time I'd be more than happy to schedule our health emergencies around the insurance company's stupidity.
  • Refusal to pay for my own ER visit for a severe asthma attack in another town because that hospital was not a preferred provider. Ok, I'll just drive home 2 hours while I am turning blue to get to the hospital you like.
  • The company reorganized themselves "to provide better services" and decided we, along with about half of the other employees they were supposed to be covering should have our policies arbitrarily canceled. Yes, that was a vast improvement. It was so improved and took so long to sort of the mayhem that ensued that doctors and labs and billing offices tried to avoid having to see us unless we were at death's door because they knew as soon as they saw our insurance card they'd have months of wrangling to get their claims paid.
  • Changed the chiropractic coverage to pretty much only cover the visits when I am so bad I can't walk. They won't deal with adjustments related to migraines. They will pay for a $30/month daily preventative prescription and a single $35 pill with known side effects if the other medicine doesn't prevent the migraine (a dose which may need to be repeated on successive days) but they won't pay $35 for a single chiropractic adjustment which has no negative side effects and won't have to be repeated for days on end. How's that for cost effective?
  • Refused to pay for the Med-Evac when I fell off the zipline even though our local ER had no trauma center and the EMTs suspected multiple fractures, I was at risk for spinal injury (and have a history of spine problems), I was allergic to every pain med they had on their rig, and the local hospital told the EMTs to call the helicopter.
  • The company decided just last year after 14 years of coverage that the new privacy laws don't allow them to speak to me about claims regarding my husband or children. I'm only on the policy as the spouse. I've only been the spouse for the entire time we've been covered. I'm the only person in this family who has any idea at all how to get these buffoons to use the half dozen brain cells that they possess to process our claims. I had to prove my children are minors and have my husband sign a ream of papers giving me permission to deal with them on his behalf. This is the man who doesn't even think to give his prescription card to the pharmacist when he has a prescription filled and they ask for it. He stands there like a deer in the headlights. He's an intelligent man, he just doesn't have any idea what to do in this situation. Oh, I get it now! The company figures if they cut out the one person who stands up to them they'll never have to pay ANY claims to us.
  • Refusal to pay ANY of Calypso's claims because they decided she was no longer a dependent. Of course, no one at the company was smart enough to figure out how to rectify that computer glitch for ages.
Which leads me to their latest example of gross incompetence....
  • I discovered when I went to refill a the migraine prescription (remember $35/pill times 9 pills equals wallet-induced migraine) that the insurance company had arbitrarily reset my deductible for the year to $0. Uh, it's December. I met my deductible for the year ages and ages ago. The pharmacy tells me to call the insurance company. Oh joy of joys. Then Calypso has a sinus infection so I take her to the doctor who then tells us we have a balance due because the insurance company denied the claims for visits in the last month when Diana and Isaac both went in for illnesses and I went in for my yearly AND had my mammogram. The one thing the doctor's office, the pharmacy, and the health insurance company are in agreement about is that I should just pay out of pocket and I will get reimbursed when the company gets things straightened out.
Yeah, it's Christmas, the budget is already tight, the pressure tank for our well is dying (we are just hoping it's only the pressure tank and NOT the well pump itself) and they want us to cough up over $700 in office visits and medications alone and wait for the insurance company to get its act together.

I

don't

think so.

I'm not worried because I know it will eventually work out. I am just sick of having to deal with these idiots coming up with knew ways to avoid actually providing coverage. It bugs the crap out of me and it infuriates me to think that there could be some critically ill people out there having to fight this same fight at this time of year.

Ok, rant finished.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog and something silly to offer a bit of perspective.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Da Count-Da Kid

Eighteen years ago I spent 5 weeks on bed rest before 2 days of labor to bring you into the world. You made me a mother and rooted me to the earth. How strange and wonderful it all was...not to mention exhausting.


You're the big sister who can be sweet (or not so sweet, I guess that makes you normal.)


You've always had self-confidence and a style all your own.


I love you even when you're scowling.


You've always had spunk and sass in surplus.

Happy birthday, kiddo. What a journey it has been so far.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Retro Slice of Lime-Santa's Lap

Yesterday a few people remarked there was no need for pictures to go with the post because I painted a vivid enough image with my words. A few other folks expressed a desire for Little Lime and her brother on Santa's lap. I don't have a copy of the picture of me as a two month old on Santa's lap or the year after that, though my mom does.

Here's what is in my possession. Check out the tally board of good boys and girls vs. bad boys and girls behind Santa and me.

Mom held my brother for this one mostly likely because he was unnerved by the whole thing. I think with the pointy green hood on my coat and the red plaid pants I could have passed for one of Santa's elves.

It must have been especially cold or snowy this year because Mom made us wear snow pants and boots. Can you hear us scritch scritch scritching up and down the street as those puffy pants rubbed against each other.



Is my brother not a dapper little fellow in this year's picture? And check my saddle shoes. I remember specifically opting for the tan and brown ones over the black and white ones one a trip to the shoe store.



This was our last year on Santa's lap. I think Santa was very much relieved. I don't think his eyes were smiling. I think the bushy beard was hiding a wince from the pain of these two big kids together on his lap.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Retro Wednesday-High Street

In honor of Gman's birthday today I will follow his lead in a manner and do a Retro Wednesday post. I don't have paraphernalia but I do have memories.

Who among you remembers when shopping was a main street adventure rather than a mall experience? Maybe you grew up in a town with a vibrant downtown. Maybe you were like me and grew up in a smaller place and traveled to town for shopping on High Street. The town we went to was 7 miles away and it was always an event when we drive in, partly because of the the excitement of going to town, partly because we had so many relatives connected to downtown. Of course, in December there was the added fun of seeing all the decorations and visiting Santa's shack.

Often the adventure would start when we arrived in town and went to the newspaper offices to visit Nana, who was telephone switchboard operator there. First of all, it was a thrill to think we could stride right into the offices at such an important place and be ushered around to the desks of so many people to say hello. Second, it was always nice to be greeted excitedly by Nana. There was never a time she didn't squeal with delight to see us. I was also always amazed and impressed by what she did behind her switchboard. It was a huge wall filled with plugs that she'd pull out and push into different spots in order to connect callers to the person they wanted to talk to. She'd be taking calls through her headset and her hands would fly across the board even as she continued to talk to us in between. Between her ability to know where each plug had to go, doing it quickly, keeping up a conversation with us, and knowing how she could whip through a crossword puzzle, the Jumble puzzle, and the Cryptoquip in the paper each day I was sure she was some special kind of genius. On our way out Nana might give us a piece of candy from a bowl on her desk or maybe give my brother and me a little money to spend on a treat when we shopped with Mom.

From the newspaper offices we'd walk the two blocks to where the big action was, High Street. High Street was always an amazing sight to me. Our town's main street was short and narrow, just wide enough for two lanes of traffic and no parking. We had only recently gotten a traffic light at the second end of it. I could easily walk from one end to the other. High Street was longer than I'd want to think of walking as a child and it was wide enough for 3 lanes of cars with parking on both sides. All sorts of stores and shops lines both sides of the street. At one end was the diner. At the other was the library and hospital. My little town had no library or hospital. High Street had to be special to be so big and have so many important sorts of buildings and businesses on it.

Our next stop would be to Mr. Reuben's store where my other grandmother, Mom-mom, worked. It was a small women's clothier. Whether it was Mr. Reuben or Mom-mom who saw us first we'd be greeted warmly. Mom-mom would beam proudly while Mr. Reuben remarked about how my brother and I had grown and ask us how we were doing in school. He always seemed as happy to see us as our grandmother was. Mom-mom would introduce us proudly to anyone else in the shop she knew. Since she had worked in the same shop for 30 years she knew quite a few people. We'd be gathered up in hugs and kisses before heading back onto the street.

A trip to High Street almost always meant a stop at the New York Store. This was a local department store with three whole floors! Now you have to understand to a kid from the country a store that big was most impressive. There was a Sears on High street that was newer and had a bigger floor but even in the Sears customers never left the ground floor. At the New York Store we could explore the ground floor or go down the creaky wooden stairs to the basement or climb to the second floor. The New York Store seemed to have all sorts of things you couldn't find in other places and all sorts of interesting nooks and crannies to explore. Mom would pay for whatever purchases she had there. By then we'd be begging to go to Town Toy.

If the New York Store was impressive for its wide array of wares Town Toy was kid heaven simply because it was the only place I had ever been that was entirely devoted to toys. I couldn't imagine so many toys and here were piles and piles of them all under one roof. Mom usually made us endure whatever other shopping had to be done before we were allowed to enjoy this particularly favored destination.

We didn't get to High Street often so when we did there was usually a visit to the shoe store in order. How many pairs of Buster Browns did we go through in our childhood? I was especially hard on my shoes because my favorite playground apparatus was the swings. When I needed to stop I'd drag my toes in the dirt on each downswing to slow myself. I went through the toes of shoes so fast my mother threatened to buy me steel-toed shoes. I do recall Mom walking me past the work boots on one trip and asking me if that's what I really wanted to wear instead of my pretty shoes. The salesman would measure my feet and bring out boxes of shoes to try on, carefully preparing them before sliding them gently on my feet and squeezing the sides or pinching the toes to see if my foot rested in them properly. I liked the Brannock device. It fascinated me that someone could use this funny metal thing so deftly to know what size shoe I should wear.

After seeing our grandmothers and walking through the New York Store, the shoe store and Town Toy my brother and I were getting tired but there were more places to go and things to see. Fortunately, there was a bus service in town. This was more evidence to me that we were in a big, important place. No buses ran in my little town. My Uncle Duke drove buses for the city so Mom would find his line and we'd take a ride on "Uncle Duke's bus," as if he personally owned it. We always hoped there were seats near the front so we could sit right behind him and watch him closely. It was very impressive that he could maneuver this huge vehicle all around the streets and know where to go. I was sure I'd get lost or crash into something if I had to do his job. It felt good to rest on the bus before Uncle Duke dropped us near to our next destination, the library.

Aside from the toy store my other favorite place was the library. It was so big. I was just amazed that there were so many books in one place. Of course we had a library at school but this was just so much larger and had so many grown ups coming in and out. It had a lovely little children's section that was bigger than the one at school. It made me feel good to know that this building full of grown up books had a special place for kids. I liked that no one hurried me along too. During library day at school we only had so much time to pick a book before we had to line up and I'd always get lost in the stacks trying to decide what I wanted. At the library on High Street I wasn't being rushed. I could take out a bunch of books and look at them before getting more to look at and finally deciding what I wanted to take home. Oh bliss!

By now it was getting late and we had two more stops to make. We'd trudge back from the library and take a small break part of the way when we stopped at great-great Uncle Lloyd's general store. Uncle Lloyd was a tall, thin man with a long, lean, smiling face. The apron he wore at the store and the broom he carried to keep the worn wooden floors clean seemed to mirror his lankiness. He'd owned and run this little store for decades. He was a kind man and gave many a young person their first job. Unfortunately, by the time I was a child his business was waning quite a lot and he was sliding into senility. He was easily taken advantage of by the people he hired who began stealing from him. I prefer to remember his happy smile and the meticulously kept old fashioned store.

After visiting Uncle Lloyd we'd have renewed vigor as dusk was falling and the Christmas lights flickered on up and down High Street. We knew there was one last stop and this was the one we'd most been waiting for, the one we'd pestered Mom about since we'd arrived in town. Up ahead of the side of the main intersection was a red shack with a Christmas tree, a candy cane fence around it, and a tall red and white striped pole. Santa's Shack! We'd get in line for our turn to sit on Santa's lap and have our picture taken. The earlier visit to Town Toy had allowed my brother and me to refine our wish list. When it was finally our turn to go inside and see Santa we were ready. We'd each have our turn then both sit on his knees for the picture before being given a candy cane to take home.

Our trip to High Street was over and we'd head back to the car carrying the day's purchases, books from the library, and sucking our candy canes. During the drive home my mind would swirl with the images of switchboards, city buses, huge libraries and toy stores, creaky wooden floors, doting shop owners, a wide street, and Santa himself....perhaps a sugarplum fairy or two tiptoed in as well...but High Street was special enough when I was little.


Happy Retro Wednesday and Happy birthday, Gman. What retro Christmas memories do the rest of you have?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Tough Times Call for Tough Measures

The tough economy has reached all the way to the North Pole and even Santa is feeling the pinch. He has been forced to downsize by laying off many of the elves. Then when production was outsourced he got a bunch of incompetent elves filling requests.

It will work like this. Your wish in the comments. The next commenter will play Santa and grant your request but mess it up somehow before leaving his own request.

Example:

Lime said...
I'd like to go back to the Hershey Spa.

G-man said...
Granted, but your spa technicians will not be using body wraps with chocolate. They'll be trying their new sauerkraut mixture.
I want a new Harley.

Susie said...
Granted but it's painted pink, has a wicker basket on the front and can't go over 10 miles an hour.
I want to go to India now.


Got it?

Monday, December 08, 2008

Weird Gifts

Susie has a shop over at Etsy, which is a wonderful online resource for finding beautiful and unique handmade items. Some are more beautiful, such as Susie's creations. Some tip more toward the "unique" side of the scale....Some go way beyond unique and slide right into disturbed territory. At Susie's request I am reviewing some of the unique and disturbed finds just in time for your holiday shopping.




Right off the bat, with about 10 seconds worth of searching the site I found Vagina Soap Favors. There is even a choice between Caucasian and African-American skin tones or, if you prefer, there is also a Butt-shaped soap. What guy wouldn't want to find this in his stocking on Christmas morning? I can't even bring myself to post a picture of the Bride/Penis Soap. Go look. I'll wait. I am not even sure which gender that's intended for. It's the stuff of nightmares, folks.







The Golden Brown Beard would seem a normal sort of thing for the harried mother who needs a Halloween costume for her kid and wants it to be handmade without making it herself. However, Halloween is past. Also, take a look at the texture of the fake beard. I've never seen a man's beard grow in and look so much like fish scales but the description for the beard is what truly perplexes me.

The perfect fall beard. You’ll look great on your stroll through the park, as your new beard complements the changing leaves. A real autumn beauty; vibrant, yet demure. This beard would look especially handsome on a redhead, but is perfect for anyone wanting to add a little spice to their normal autumn attire.

So the maker views this as a fashion statement for women? (or I am the only one who thinks the model is a girl?) Oooooookay...Moving right along.



Here is the Love Heart Fake Dog Poop Gift for when you care enough to shit the very best. The scary thing is, I know men who would think this would be a wonderful gift for the special woman in their lives. These are the kind of men who send Valentine's Day card where the punchline is a reference to dog genitalia. I swear if any of you hips Mr. Lime to this entry I will have to hurt you before I send him to the Doghouse (Thanks, Cooper, for that little gem of an idea.)





Apparently beer can hats did NOT die the death they should have way back in the 70s. They have come back with the new and exciting textured yarns and are now made of soda cans so they are age-appropriate across generations...or perhaps the inappropriateness can span the generations. Notice the festive holiday color theme of this Mountain Dew Hat with Fun Frills.
Gads, I don't know. It makes my head hurt thinking about it...makes it hurt like there's a razor sharp can panel slicing into my scalp.




Next we have the Embroidered Phrenology Pin Cushion. It's kind of a voodoo/19th century pseudoscience meets fashion design piece that no deranged seamstress should be without.










Now we have something that really makes me wonder. The Voodoo Bottles themselves are wonderfully crafted pieces or art. It's the part of the description that says, "Each bottle has a mysterious thick liquid inside," that concerns me. I have visions of some sicko potter killing and dismembering some enemy. After sending the victim through the blender the psycho puts a little bit inside each of these bottles before mailing them off. Eeeeewwww.







Moving right along...How about something for the kiddies? Reindeer Snot! According to the seller it's a generous portion attractively packaged in an organza bag. (Anyone besides me gagging already as they consider the inability of organza to adequately contain snot?) Oh, it also comes with a poem. Won't the kids enjoy reaching into their stockings to find this!






And that concludes this year's review of all the weirdness one stocking could hold. Only 17 more shopping days so hurry and order now!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Friday 55 & Da Count-Rise and Shine

FRIDAY 55

The light flicks on.
The sheets fly back.
She sings,
"Get outta bed, you sleepy head.
It's time to get up.
It's time to get.
It's time to get up in the morning."
He's still drooling on his pillow
when her fingers find his armpits, ribs, and feet
to tickle him conscious.
He rises giggling.



DA COUNT

It's no secret I'm not a morning person. If there is any doubt check the picture here. I'm not surly, I'm just not coherent for a long time. If I had my way I wouldn't get out of bed until at least 8 am. I wouldn't be required to function until 10 am. Wrangling kids at the butt crack of dawn is not my favorite thing in life....especially considering none of my kids are morning people either. Waking the girls gets a similar reaction to that of beating a hornet's nest with a stick, regardless of the method I choose. This is not great incentive for me to get out of bed myself to start my mornings with that horror. Isaac on the other hand can be tickled into alertness and although he is begging for a few more minutes he usually is not snarling at me. I get to hear a sleepy giggle instead. For this I am very grateful every morning.*



*Ok, who among you thought I'd be counting a freezer full of venison? Well, I'm counting that too, but I figured by now you were sick of hearing about it.



Thursday, December 04, 2008

Slice of Lime-Don't Fear the Curry

Ok, I know this week has been hard on some of you non-hunting types what with talk of carcass gutting and all. Today I hope to soothe you with one of my favorite venison recipes. If you are not of the ilk to go hunt your own meat don't worry, you can use stew beef for this.

This is a recipe I learned from my dear friend Regina who is from Kenya. She had been in the U.S. for a year or so when she mentioned how much she missed venison because it was a staple in the area of Kenya she came from. I told her when Mr. Lime got a deer that year we'd gladly share some of the meat with her. She was overjoyed and insisted we come share the first meal with her family. This stewed venison is what she made. I fell in love.

So...the ingredients. First you need...some venison all cubed up. How much? I dunno, I didn't weigh it and since it didn't come in some plastic wrapped tray with a meat diaper (You know, those pads that soak up the juices) and a bar code with its weight I can't be sure. A pound? Two pounds? Howzabout we split the difference and call it a pound and a half? That bowl of meat there represents hours spent in a cold tree stand, a box of bullets, a new .243 youth rifle, yards of blaze orange fabric, a kitchen full of butchered carcass, a vacu-seal machine, and yes...even a Butt-Out tool, but we won't think of that right now...

You will also need a big can of tomato puree. What? That looks like two small cans of diced tomatoes? You are so observant. Well I was out of tomato puree. This is what I had. I whizzed it through the blender. Voila! Tomato puree. My friend Regina used tomato sauce but I like to use puree because it has a little more texture to it.


We also need curry powder. This is a curry dish. Don't be afraid of the curry. The tomato balances it out nicely. When the time comes you're going to put a ton of this in the dish. I used Trinidadian curry for it and Regina liked it but she said I cooked it so well I should have some Kenyan curry to make it taste like it's from home. In case you don't know curry is a blend and there are roughly 87 gazillion different blends for curry in the world each with a somewhat different taste. Regina carried this all the way back from Kenya for me when she went to visit so I could have that one in 87 gazillion taste.
The other ingredients are oil, garlic (as much or as little as you want, I use about 4 cloves), and onions (2 medium or 1 large). Oh, It also helps if you have a heavy iron pot with a slightly concave bottom..the kind I carried back in my own bag when I was coming home from Trinidad. Lordy, between the iron pot and the bottles of seasonings and the bolts of batik I had in my bag that was one hernia inducing suitcase. Really, this is a very easy recipe once you've convinced a friend to fly to Kenya for curry and you've flown to Trinidad to buy the pot. Very economical. But I digress....
Pour some oil in, heat it over medium heat, add the onions and garlic and let them get translucent.


Once the onions and garlic are all soft you'll add the curry....a lot of curry. See that spoon? It's a soup spoon. I think I filled it heaping 2 times, maybe 3. Ok, split the difference and call it 2 1/2. Don't fear the curry. I woke up this morning to Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper. You can hum that while you sashay around sprinkling curry. Then you can think of the SNL sketch with Will Ferrell and shout, "I got a fever. I need more cowbell! I need more curry!" Tap on the side of the curry can if you don't have a cowbell. Da da da da dada....don't fear the currrryyyy.... Keep dancing. This is my kitchen. We dance when we cook. It keeps the cook happy. Happy cooks make better food.


Ok, now that we've gotten you all over your curry phobia, brown it around with just the onions for a bit then toss in the meat, crank up the heat a bit, and brown everything together. Stick your nose over the pot and inhale deeply....aaahhhh.....

Once the meat is all browned dump in the tomato puree and stir it all around.


Turn the heat back down to medium low and put the lid on. Ya like that lid? the knob broke off years ago while I was in the middle of cooking something. I had been dyeing Easter eggs and had one of those wire dipping thingies sitting on the counter so I twisted it up and jammed that sucker in the lid. I have been meaning to buy a nice wooden knob to fix it with properly but then again, this thing has worked for all these years and it has kind of a quirky personality, not unlike its owner. You can have your fancy pots and pans that shine like the sun and have insulated handles. I wouldn't trade my hernia inducing, burn causing pot with the dangerous wire poking out of the top for all the fancy pots in the world.

Ok, now all the hard work is done because you just let it all stew together until the meat is nice and tender. How long? I dunno. An hour? Two hours? Split the difference....whatever. All you have to do is stir it now and again and make sure it isn't burning. While you wait and contemplate the tasty delight the stew will be you can relax. Feel free to enjoy some reading material that stimulates salivation as well. Well, looky who's on the cover of this magazine....mmmm, yum.

When it's done serve it over rice with a side of peas and carrots and have a belly full of good, stick to your ribs food. Now if this meal were to be truly complete I'd have it with ugali (say oo-golly), which is a boiled Kenyan cornbread. Yes, I know that sounds unappetizing but it's delicious and I'd be perfectly content to have a plate of ugali and the gravy from this stew (Regina tells me this makes me very Kenyan and her husband tells me I make ugali better than his sister....ugali good enough to snare me a Kenyan husband. Glad to know I have options in the world.) Unfortunately, when I went to the cupboard I found some "undesirable alternate protein sources" in my cornmeal. Ick. Let's not think of that. I really am hungry for some ugali to go with this stew though and if you're interested here's a recipe.

Happy eats.