Friday 55-No Way to Treat a Queen.

A craftsman hammers gold into a cup.
A queen sips her wine in luxury.
Conquering armies plunder the riches
to deposit in different storehouses.
The cup descends through countless obscure generations
until it finds its way to an old man
who brings it as a plaything for his grandson.
BBs ping off a regal nose.

I love the show "Antiques Roadshow." I hardly ever get to watch it because no one else in my family enjoys it. I will admit I get a perverse joy out of some smug socialite insisting her china once belonged to Napoleon and Josephine only to have the appraiser flip over a dish and point out the evidence that it was made in Japan in the 1930s. By the same token, I also love to see someone bring in an old item they either found at a yard sale for a $15 or that has been a cherished part of family lore but never recognized as monetarily valuable only to have the appraisers nearly die of heart failure at the rarity, value, condition, significance, and magnificence of said item. So, I got a kick out of this story, which is where I lifted the above picture from. A 70 year old British man decided to have his childhood "toy" appraised. Now it is expected to fetch nearly $1 million (US) at auction. He confesses to having used it for target practice with an air pellet gun.

I like looking at old things and imagining the life they had in all the generations before they came into my awareness. Who drank from this cup? Who was it made for? What sorts of political intrigues may have been hatched during dinners where it was used? Or what lover's secrets were exchanged as it passed from one set of hands to another? Was it a gift received with joy? Was it something looted by invaders? Give me a chapter of the story you think this cup has.

Slice of Lime-I'm too Sexy

I had no ideas for what song to do this week. I considered re-running an old one. I'm telling ya, milking this farm thing for all it's worth this week. When I came home from the festival Sunday night I didn't change out of my costume. It's actually comfortable. My teen-aged daughters made comments about how unflattering a thing my costume is. I started dancing around singing Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" and thus this week's Slice of Lime was born.

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
(especially when the straight pins poke me)

So sexy it hurts

And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan

New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party

Too sexy for your party

No way I'm disco dancing
(but I'm up for a square dance)

I'm a model you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah

I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
(cars?  what are cars?)

Too sexy by far

And I'm too sexy for my hat
(undo my bonnet strings, baby)

Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah

I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk

Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah

I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat

Poor pussy poor pussy cat

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love

Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song
(besides, the cows need milking)

Why yes, I am completely off my rocker. Thank you for noticing.

Weird Wednesday- Questions for God

And now we milk the farm experience for all it's worth in a Weird Wednesday post.

Diana has always been an inquisitive sort and perfectly comfortable with asking whatever question she has whenever it pops into her mind. The trip to the farm when she was just a preschooler led to a few questions. She noticed the cows udders and asked what they were. She had names for every other body part but this one was escaping her. I gave her the word "udders." She asked what udders were for. Conveniently, her baby brother was a nursing infant at that time so an explanation was pretty simple. "Well, just like when your brother drinks milk from me when he is hungry, the calves drink milk from their mothers by sucking on the udders." Diana pondered this for a minute and then exclaimed in a disgusted tone, "Eeeew! Why'd God put the cow's bosoms down by the cow's bottom?! Mommy, I'm glad people bosoms aren't near their bottoms!"

Here we have the calf from yesterday discovering what really goes on in the corn crib.

Yesterday's trivia questions got only the most tepid response from all but G-man and a commenter named Rob who doesn't have a blog I can direct everyone to. So for those interested, here are the answers.

Collective nouns for respective groups of animals are as follows...

A Gaggle of Geese (on the ground)
A Skein of Geese (in the air)...bonus points for knowing
A Warren of Rabbits
A Herd of Cattle
A Flock of Sheep
A Flight of Birds (No, G-man, it's NOT a cooter of birds)
A Kindle of Kittens
A Dray of Squirrels
A Swarm of Bees
A Brood of Pigs
A Muster of Peacocks
A Nide of Pheasants(on the ground)
A Bouquet of Pheasants (in the air) bonus points for knowing

Since Barman wondered about the collective noun for Limelets I will let you all know it can be a howl, mess, herd, or rumpus of Limelets depending upon the situation. Generally, I'd consider them a rumpus of Limelets.

Neutered forms of animals are as follows...(Ok, I figured it was understood that neutering meant castrated males since females are "spayed" when the gonads are removed)

Cattle: Bulls become steer
Horses: Stallions become geldings (Way yo go Suldog)
Swine: Boars become barrows
Chickens: Roosters become capons
Sheep: Rams become wethers
Goats: Bucks also become wethers (And as Rob pointed out, goats look like they have the biggest balls, pound for pound, of any farm animal.)

Rob then went on to detail the various gestation and hatching times of assorted farm critters. He was correct on each one. If you are really interested go look at yesterday's comment. Personally, I was most impressed and as I told him, he either completely proved his farm cred beyond any shadow of a doubt or he is a mastergoogler. (Get your minds out of the gutter, people!)

Regardless, congrats to G-man for knowing his groups and congrats to Rob (who really has that whole reproductive thing down pat) for grabbing the rest of the quiz by the balls and er...um...well, doing really well!

Finally, I threw in a bunch of animal related idioms thinking that was easy enough for everyone to give a try. No bites. Crimony, you all must have had one heck of a weekend and your brains were hurting bad. So without further ado the answers are...

Strong as an...ox
Fat as a...pig
Slow as a...turtle
Gentle as a...lamb
Cuddly as a...kitten
Quiet as a ...mouse
Hungry as a...bear
Faithful as a ...dog
Contented as a...cow
Happy as a ...lark
Quick as a ...bunny
Proud as a...peacock
Graceful as a...swan
Busy as a...beaver
Stubborn as a...mule
Silly as a...goose.

Down on the Farm

Once again, 2 of the kids and I donned our Late 18th-Early 19th century Pennsylvania German farm clothes and headed off to help at a festival. In the Fall it's all about the harvest. In the Spring it's all about the animals. Isaac's job was to help with the wagon rides. Calypso helped with children's games in the field and for some strange reason I got the game boards about animal trivia. Imagine that...me doing trivia. Before things officially got started and again at the end of the day I ran around a bit with my decidedly 21st century digital camera so I could take some pictures to share with all of you.

Here is one of our Belgian workhorses. Isn't she a pretty girl? We have two because you need a team of them to pull the wagon or plow.

The farmer was bringing out the calf early so she could get used to the situation. Lots of people were going to be petting her that day. When I tried to take her picture she felt a bit shy.

Eventually she decided to show me a better side. We get a lot of folks coming to visit from the city. I remember one of our first visits out here (keep in mind I grew up in dairy country, lotsa cows). Diana was about 4 and as she pet the calf it latched onto her hand and began sucking. She got a big kick out of it and a group of more urban types gathered behind us oohing and aaahing at the adorable scene of a red-headed child giggling as a very young calf suckled her fingers. When Diana decided it was time to go and pulled her fingers from the calf's mouth, and with them a long stringing handful of calf spit, the contented cooing behind us quickly changed to gagging. Pffft, wipe it on your pants, kiddo (we're on a farm and you're dressed to get dirty not stay clean) and let's hit the hay jump.

This pig wasn't in mud but he still looks pretty darned happy to me.

This is our new mule. I forget her name. Her mother was a Belgian workhorse, her father was a donkey. Horse mama + Donkey papa= Mule (also equals a sterile animal unable to reproduce). Now, mules get the reputation for being stubborn but it's not a fair rap. Horses will just work themselves to death so the farmer has to carefully monitor how the horse is doing during the day and make sure they provide adequate rest for the animals. Mules are self-monitoring and know when they need rest. When they reach that point they are done working, even if you aren't. Some say stubborn, others say smart.

Here's another critter who obviously had enough and decided it was time for a rest. Ok now, all in unison....awwwwwww.......



Ok, so now for some of the trivia with which I tormented visitors to the farm. I'll post the answers tomorrow.

Tell me the collective noun for each of the following animals.
GEESE
RABBITS
CATTLE
SHEEP
BIRDS
KITTENS
SQUIRRELS
BEES
PIGS
QUAIL
PEACOCKS
PHEASANTS


Fill in the blank with the right animal.
Strong as a...
Fat as a...
Slow as a...
Gentle as a...
Cuddly as a...
Quiet as a ...
Hungry as a...
Faithful as a ...
Contented as a...
Happy as a ...
Quick as a ...
Proud as a...
Graceful as a...
Busy as a...
Stubborn as a...
Silly as a...

If I could figure out the technological wonder of making a table to match up answers I'd torment you with matching the names for the male, female, baby, and neutered forms of various animals. I'm feeling the lingering effects of 18th century life though and not that technologically adept so I am only going to ask you if you can tell me the names for the neutered forms of...
CATTLE
HORSE
SWINE
CHICKEN
GOAT
SHEEP
(It was interesting explaining what neutering was all about to a number of people. Strange historical costumes, trivia, and the potential for horrifying people with frank conversation...was this job made for me or what?)

Ok, enough trivial torment for you today but I'll tell you visitors to the farm also had the opportunity to figure out what they thought gestation and hatching times of various animals were. The big hint is, the bigger the animal the longer the period of time. Ladies, be glad you're not a horse, you'd get an extra two months of pregnancy out of that deal.

Memorial Day

*image taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/lonebluelady/508995133/

May I remind the Americans reading, whether or not you agree with the current administration and the war it wages please take time today to remember those men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice from the beginning of our nation's history until now in order to secure the freedom we enjoy.

Da Count-A Good Time Had by All

As you recall, on Wednesday I chaperoned a field trip of 400 6th graders to an amusement park. I had in my charge 5 of those 400, 2 boys and 3 girls. They were all nice kids and in spite of the weather being all of 50 degrees and being rained on for the last hour we had a great time. Lemme show you.

And early stop was this ride. One girl was not liking the looks of it so much so I waited with her while the others went on it. No one has to go on a ride that scares them.

We came. We saw. We Sklooshed. The Skloosh is a log flume on steroids. It is designed for maximum splash. After getting soaked riding it you stand on the bridge and let the next one splash you and wet down any parts the initial descent may have missed. Many chaperones were telling the kids they were not allowed to ride the Skloosh because it was only 50 degrees out. I told the kids they could ride it as much as they wanted before lunch but not after lunch so they'd be dry for the ride home. They were very happy and planned to ride all morning. Yay! Isaac's mom is way cool! SKLOOSH!!!!! We are all wet!! Yay!!!! Oh! BRRRRRRR!!!! We are freezing our little 6th grade butts off. Can we be done on the Skloosh now? Are you sure? Y-y-y-yes. W-w-w-w-we are s-s-s-sure. (teeth chattering)

So they decided turning themselves upside down looked like fun. I must say. I thought it looked like fun too, but again there was one member of the group who was not digging the idea so I sat out with her. After this they wanted to head to the roller coasters. All of my kids love roller coasters (I am so relieved because I do too and I would have been very disappointed if I had to sit with someone who was afraid of them and not go on.) so we headed off in that direction but passed the Merry-go-Round first. I got very excited because I've been to this park with my own kids and I know this one has brass rings to grab. I very excitedly told the kids we needed to go on the Merry-go-Round and they told me it was a baby ride. I said no way, we had to go for the brass rings and only Isaac knew what I was talking about. I had to walk them around show them what it was all about and instruct them in the ways of the brass ring. THEN all but one was willing and excited to go on. I said listen kiddo, this isn't scary stuff. This is America! This is a rite of passage! This is the origin of idiomatic speech! You MUST get on this ride and go for the brass ring! The other kids exerted positive peer pressure and said you GOTTA!!!! So she moped onto a horse and stuck her arm out and after her first brass ring she was totally into it. I'd show you pictures but I was too busy hanging off my own carousel pony and pulling brass rings and throwing them back into the lion's mouth. I got 8 rings and got 7 back in. Woohoo, me!

After lunch the kids went on the Hurl-a-Whirl. No that's not the real name but when I watched the pendulum swing and the bit they sat on rotating at the same time what else could I call it. Really! Several of them looked quite green around the gills when it ended. I thought they'd be staggering off like drunks and head for a trashcan to puke. No, not these kids. They ran off and got right back in line...four times. I was getting ill watching.

So I went to a happy place. Ah, green leaves, cool and refreshing, serene and lovely, aaahhhhh......

Then it was time for more roller coasters. This place has not one but 2 wooden roller coasters, which I vastly prefer to the metal ones. I'm old school. The first one before lunch we went on about 4 times. The second one after lunch we went on about 7 times. The second one was the magnificent one with bumps and jerks and huge drops. It's also the one we were on when the sky opened up. It adds something to the experience to be pelted in the face with fat, stinging raindrops when your hurtling down a wooden track at a high rate of speed. For one thing, you find out how broad a range of profane vocabulary can possessed by the sweetest looking freckled-face 12 year old girl sitting next to you as she is digging her claws into your arm. You also learn how long one of the other girls can sustain a blood curdling scream and at what decibel level. At the end of the ride your son announces to everyone within earshot that he may never be able to give you grandchildren. (Holy crap! I bashed my balls BAD during that last bump!) In spite of all this, or perhaps because of all this, as soon as we disembarked from the first run the kids all looked at me with hopeful eyes and begged, "Can we go again?" Cheers all around when I said yes.

We were stopped only by a loud clap of thunder which shut down all the rides. We headed to the souvenir shop, the bathrooms, and back to the bus for the two hour return trip. I wish I could say that was a good time but half way through it a kid two seats in front of us blew chunks all over the seat, the window, the floor, himself, and the girl in front of him. To prevent a chain reaction from the stench every window flew open and we all froze.

Going to my happy place, green, calm, serene, happy, peaceful......

Slice of Lime-One Hand in My Pocket

Next in our Slice of Lime musical series is Alanis Morissette. I've been rediscovering her lately. I didn't connect with her so much when she first got big but lately...yeah, much more so. I like this one and it lends itself to coming up with obvious pictures (good for a frazzled brain). And hey, this whole set stars Janita (my formerly mangled left-arm for the new folks out there), which is a miracle all by itself.

I'm broke but I'm happy

I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everthing's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five




I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other is flicking a cigarette
What is all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign




I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano


What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

~Alanis Morissette~


(For those of you wondering about yesterday's field trip I hope to have a report up tomorrow. I prepared this Slice of Lime last week when I had the idea. Last night I was way too fried to get a post together about the field trip when I got home. Good day though.)

Weird Wednesday-Overheard at House of Lime

Mr Lime: Termites are responsible for the greatest amount of farts on earth.

Lime: So they contribute more to greenhouse gases than cows?

Mr. Lime: Bug farts have to be pretty small. I think it was the greatest number of farts not the greatest volume.

Lime: Insects outnumber vertebrates so it's possible the volume of termite flatulence exceeds that of bovine emissions and therefore would be a bigger problem.

Mr. Lime: But you're assuming bug farts are methane.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have one daughter with curly hair and one daughter with straight hair. When they were younger they each wanted what the other had. Recently they seem to have come to a place of acceptance with what nature has given them. Now I think they are just messing with my already tenuous grasp on sanity. The one with curly hair wants a curling iron and the one with straight hair wants a straightening iron.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calypso: (while watching an episode of "The Office") Did you ever notice the similarity between the boss and our pastor?

Lime: How so?

Calypso: They both make jokes they think are hilarious but everyone else finds them painfully awkward and completely offensive.

Lime: (stifling giggles)

Calypso: Mom, you KNOW it's true.

Lime: (nodding and snorting)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I won't be around today since I will be spending 4 hours (2 hours each way) on a school bus.......full of 12 year olds........with a teacher who hates 12 year olds........headed to and from an amusement park........with a weather forecast of rain. I think I shall lead the children in singing "1000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" during the bus ride. No, that was not a typo. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Trini Tuesday-Buljol

I am bereft of inspiration today. It has been cold and rainy for days on end and I want to know where the heck Spring went. It's been over a year since I posted anything about Trinidad so I went digging back into the archives and so today you're getting a recipe from Trinidad that's cheap, easy and oh so yummy. I'm reposting and tweaking it a bit.

Buljol:

From the French patois, "Brûlê Gueule," or "burn mouth," a mixture of shredded, de-salted codfish, oil, onion, tomatoes, black, hot and/or sweet peppers, etc. Apparently the original recipe called for really hot peppers -- hence the name "burn mouth."

-- From Cote Ci, Cote La: Trinidad & Tobago Dictionary, by John Mendes, © 1986.

This is a recipe that everyone makes but everyone makes a little differently. I did some searching for authentic recipes and came up with such variations. They all had the same ingredients for the most part but how they readied them was different. I will simply give you my variation. Since it is more or less a salad sort of thing you can play around with the amount of the ingredients to suit yourself. It's most commonly eaten for breakfast in Trinidad but we generally eat if for dinner or lunch. It's great in the hot weather. Yes, I know I just said it's cold and rainy. Sometimes I need to pretend, so gimme a break already would ya?

It's one of those things I can make here in the States but the bread it is served on I can only get in Trinidad. The last time I went to visit...oh gosh, I tellin' yuh I was feelin' fuh buljol so bad! An' when I reach by meh friend's house what was waiting fuh me but a big plate of buljol and hops bread! Like meh friend jus' KNOW! Ok, ok, de recipe comin' just now...



BULJOL a la Lime
1 8-12 oz. pack of saltcod or other salt preserved mild fish
1 large onion
1 bell pepper
1 hot pepper, (jalapeno, habanero, whatever floats your boat, this is optional if you don't like it hot)
1 large or two medium tomatoes
2 Tbsp lemon or lime juice
Black pepper to taste

-Soak the saltcod overnight in about 8 cups of water. Change the water in the morning and a couple times during the day. Boil it in fresh water, drain, and boil again. It smells really fishy and gross during this process but it will taste fine if you've soaked it and rinsed it. Honest, I promise.
-Drain again and gently squeeze out excess water. Flake finely with two forks or your fingers.
-Finely dice all the veggies.
-Mix veggies, fish, lemon juice, and pepper.
-Serve it cold on hard rolls with sliced, hardboiled eggs, or avocado (called 'zaboca' in Trinidad).

By the way, this is very low calorie food.


Enjoy! Happy Trini Tuesday!

Weekend Highlights

Calypso has been wired for music since she was born. The ONLY way I could get her to sleep as a baby was to hold her tight and sing to her. (Given that my singing voice could peel paint the case could be made for sleep being her mode of escape.) At 6 months she'd pull herself up and bounce in time when music was playing. She has played violin, piano, clarinet, and oboe. Each teacher was blown away by her ear. She doesn't play guitar....yet....but when I used to take lessons she'd go damn near out of her mind listening to me trying to tune up. She has wanted to take voice lessons for years but was advised to wait until a certain age so as to not damage vocal chords. She's been taking voice for 2 months and her teacher tells me she's coloratura material. I didn't even know what the heck that meant until I googled it. I do know when I heard this on Friday night I welled up.

Friday 55

*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/martinreach/1796496711/

I'm stretched as thin as the line between sky and sea,

drifting like a speck on the horizon.
The current may just take me to where the dragons wait.
Won't you reach a little farther
and I will pull a little harder
so I can make it back to shore
and touch the land again?

Slice of Lime-The Way I Am

Most "love songs" make me want to gag because they're either too sappy and overwrought or not really about love. Hoooow can I liiiiiive withouoooooout yoooooouuuu. That's not love, that's fear. The way I see it, love is about accepting a person warts and all and living in a way that facilitates good for that person. It's not mere emotion. It involves your will too. So this week I bring you Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am." Now THAT'S a love song. Plus, it's got a sweet, simple tune that just makes me smile.

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.



If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.



I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear. Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

~Ingrid Michaelson~

Weird Fashion

Ok, I ganked the first picture off some article on the Yahoo homepage. The rest I took a long time ago from some other Yahoo story about Fashion Week somewhere. Keep in mind these looks are from the people who would mock my Birkenstocks and tie dye. Uh...yeah...right....Bwahahahahaha!


Is anyone else out there wondering what Sarah Jessica Parker did to piss off her stylist? SJ, trust me, you're going to look faaaabulous, darling.

The stylist confesses, "The Devil made me do it."

For service, please press the button.

What's the owl doing now? Ok, remaining calm...trying not to panic...trying...

Who knew getting drunk and wearing lampshades could launch a fashion career?

Mooooom!!!! Tina stole all my Nerf balls to make a dress!!! Make her give em baaaaaack!

Movie studio execs passed on the opportunity to film the story of seamstress turned superhero, The Green Thimble.

Poor girl had a terrible time trying to change an air filter.


I encourage you to leave alternate captions for any of the pictures here.

Irena Sendler

*image taken from http://info-poland.buffalo.edu/classroom/sendler/

We likely are all familiar with Anne Frank, Oskar Schindler, and perhaps Corrie Ten Boom and their lives during WW2. We've read of Anne's life in hiding and her untimely death at age 15 in spite of the great hope she carried. We may have seen the film showing how Schindler saved the lives of many Jews by employing them in his factory. Corrie Ten Boom, along with her widower father and her sister, hid Jews in their home in the Netherlands and were arrested and sent to the death camps as a result. Corrie alone survived. These people displayed courage I wonder if any of us can begin to fathom. They are heroes.

Yesterday morning the world lost another true hero. Irena Sendler was 98 years old, confined to a wheelchair, and would be the last person to call herself a hero. In fact, it is said the designation irritated her greatly as she was plagued by guilt at feeling she had left so much undone.

She was a Polish health care worker who first joined the Nazi resistance and later was responsible for smuggling 2500 children out of the Warsaw ghetto. She found foster homes for each of these children and managed to provide them with false identification documents bearing new identities so the Germans would not suspect the children. Infants and toddlers were simply given new names, but older children had to be coached to remember their new identities and false family histories so they could maintain the ruse that would save their lives. She alone kept track of the true identities of the children encoded, placed in jars, and buried in her back yard so after the war children could be reunited with their families. Sadly, most of those families perished but there was some comfort, for both Irena and the children, in being able to provide the information to those who had been too young to remember their true name and family background.

Her efforts were discovered after a fellow member of the resistance gave Irena's name under torture. In October 1943 she was arrested by the Gestapo. She suffered torture including the breaking of her legs and feet and was sentenced to death. She still refused to give any information which would endanger either the children or other resistance members. Later the Communist leaders of Poland threatened her with denying access to higher education for her own children.

She has left this world and we are poorer for her absence. May she rest in peace and find great reward. May the rest of us be strengthened by her example.

*image taken from http://www.haaretz.com

My Other Mother

On Friday I counted my own mom since Mother's Day was coming up. Today I want to mention my stepmom, Mary. Mary came into my life when I was about 11. From the first day I met her until now she has never been anything but sweet and kind toward my brother and me. She has always been generous and thoughtful. She's the type of person who will hear you make an offhand remark about something you enjoy or favor and she files it away for future reference so she can surprise you when you least expect it.

She is patient and willing to overlook an offense and always look for the better side of a person, almost to a fault. Actually, with no disrespect intended, it's probably a huge part of why she and my dad are still married. He requires a lot of patience, overlooking, and searching for the better side. She's very willing to to give the benefit of doubt.

She is one of the best listeners I know. She's able to be very non-judgmental but gently asks incisive questions and makes soft recommendations that lend clarity and perspective. When I was a teenager and went through that stage where I was sure my parents were idiots whose sole desire was to ruin my life, Mary was there to listen and I was comfortable talking to her. I confided a lot in her during that time. For that alone I owe her more than I could ever repay.

She's been a support to my brother, and me, and my kids every bit as much as she has been to her own son. She kept her old house as a rental and has let my brother live there and worked with him when unemployment was making rent a hardship. Instead of getting involved in "which grandparent can buy the most stuff" game she has very quietly chosen to pay for various lessons and camps and other activities over the years so my kids can have the opportunity to explore interests and develop talents. She quietly slipped me a key to her beach cottage and told me, "Whenever you need a sanity break it will only cost you a tank of gas to get there."

My parents really never quite got my sense of humor, that's not to say they are humorless people, they just never knew what to do with my particular brand. I often left them shaking their heads and wondering just how many screws I had loose. Mary got me, and she didn't shake her head. She laughed. When my kids came along she laughed with them too and and in so doing, reminded me I needed to do the same.

Mary may be nearing 60 and have a crap knee that gives her crazy amounts of pain but she has never stopped playing. Whether she is digging sand castles at her beloved beach, playing board games with the kids, or taking a wild ride on the tree swing we used to have in the backyard (Sadly, that got dismantled along with the perilous zipline after I demolished my arm.) she is the first one who is up for fun.

I have to thank Dad for bringing Mary into our lives. Mom once told me it was harder to allow me to develop a friendship with Mary than to encourage respect for my dad because she felt some jealousy. She recognized Mary's decency and kindness and realized she had to permit me to explore that relationship. I have to thank Mom for giving me the freedom to welcome Mary the way Mary welcomed me.

Da Count-Mom

She always wanted to be a mom. When she and Dad started trying to have babies she had all sorts of difficulty so they adopted me. Almost three years later she had the happy surprise of giving birth to my brother. She taught me to read before I ever started school. She was always of the opinion that if a child has an honest question they deserve an honest answer...and boy, did I drive her nuts with endless questions. She never brushed me off if I wanted to learn what she was doing. She taught me kids matter.

She's an accomplished seamstress and quilter. She's a pretty good carpenter too. She taught herself how to play guitar when she was a single mother with a crappy factory job wondering how she'd scrape enough money together for bills and food. Even though she worked for a greedy factory owner who regularly cheated his employees out of honest earned wages she managed to keep my brother and me fed and clothed through her resourcefulness and creativity. When we were teens she went to night classes to get some skills to land her an office job. She may just be an administrative assistant but she's the one who keeps all the computers and technology functioning in her office and the one people call when their machines go kaflooey. In recent years she decided she wanted to learn to play harp. Now she gets paying gigs on occasion. (Do harpists get "gigs?" Somehow it seems there should be a classier word...). She taught me to persevere and never stop learning and to find a way to feed your spirit especially when things are tough.

Even though her father was alcoholic and her mother was not really there for her when she was a kid she managed to forgive them and see the good they had, thus allowing them to bloom into being magnificent grandparents. Even though my Dad left when we were very young she'd never tolerate us speaking disrespectfully of him and she maintained a very close relationship with my paternal grandparents until the day they died many, many years later. They often said she was more of a daughter than either of their boys was a son. She taught me to avoid bitterness.

She painted our house purple. She builds crazy contraptions in her front yard to keep the birds from eating all the cherries off her tree. She sews up her own purses so she can put harps and butterflies all over them. She taught me to be myself even if it means being different.

She welcomed 4 of us back into the house (Isaac wasn't born yet) when we came back from Trinidad while my husband looked for work. She cares about my friends and how they are even if she doesn't know them well. She has always been there to help me or my kids if we needed it. She is a surrogate grandma to other little kids who need the extra loving (well, ok, and so she can get her own fix of little kid energy and enthusiasm now that mine are big kids.) She taught me hearts expand to make room for others.

Is she perfect? Nope. I could list faults and she could tell you all of mine. But she's my mom and she taught me we don't have to be perfect. We just need to keep trying and growing.

This week I'm counting Mom.

Slice of Lime-Leave Your Hat On

Many moons ago I sent AndyT some tie-dyed shirts. Many moons after that he sent me some CDs of his music. I've enjoyed them quite a lot. On one of the CDs he does a cover of "You Can Leave Your Hat On." That's become one of my favorites and since I seem to be low on ideas for "Slice of Lime" For a couple of weeks I thought I'd do some shots to go with songs I dig.

Baby, take off your coat...(real slow)

Baby, take off your shoes...(here, I'll take your shoes)

Baby, take off your dress

Yes, yes, yes

You can leave your hat on

You can leave your hat on

You can leave your hat on

By Popular Demand

Phain mentioned in her last post that she wished I'd do a meme so she could steal it from me. Being the obliging sort, I had to help her out. So if you don't enjoy this post, talk to her.

1.Your name plus "ness"
yournameness

2. Two feelings at the moment?
Horripilations and an impending urge toward eructation

3. What are you listening to right now?

The voices in my head.


4. Done anything you regret so far this week?
The week is young

5. Describe where you are right now?

On the third planet, orbiting approximately 93 million miles from the star known as Sol in the Milky Way Galaxy.

6.The highlight of your week?
It's a toss up between winning the Pulitzer Prize for meme responses and having a really tasty chicken sandwich.


7. What are you craving to have right now?
This isn't that sort of blog...


8. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with?

A group of people I think were raised by wolves...oh wait, that would be my family...

9. What are you scared of?
That slimy tentacled thing under my bed.


10. Last movie you watched?
Where the Heart Is


11. Do you have feelings for someone?

I have lots of different feelings for lots of different someones. They range from apathy to disgust to contempt to friendly affection to to unconditional love to overwhelming lust. Take yer pick.

12. What is your heritage?

Greek by birth, Pennsylvania German by upbringing, Trini at heart.

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?

Always

14. Britney Spears is a skank. Agree or disagree?
Care or not? Emphatic NOT

15. Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
A spreadsheet containing a committee budget for 2008. Living the wild life!!!


16.Have you changed much this year?

Well, I put on clean underwear every day....

17. Say something about the person who posted this before you:
This has been sitting in drafts so long I don't remember where it came from. Whoever it was I am sure is brilliant, generous, and always has minty fresh breath.


18. Do you like moms?
Is there a reason I shouldn't?

19.Hugs Or Kisses?
Any time I can get them, yes!

20. Say one of your friends and an inside joke with them.
It would no longer be an inside joke then.


21. How many homes have you lived in?

11

22. This Q went AWOL

Someone alert the meme MPs!

23. Who was the last person to text message you?
My daughter

24. Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
In my head or on my feet?

25. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Some folks have said Jamie Lee Curtis, others have said Stockard Channing. One especially creepy individual insisted he recognized me from the porno film I was in.....uh, wrong gal, ya skeezo.


26. Do you speak any other language other than English?
The aliens beaming thoughts into my brain have taught me the 12 dialects of Bentar 3.

27. Last thing you watched on TV?
The History Channel is on right now.


28. Do you dress for style or comfort?
Have you not ever read this blog before?


29. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
The ever delectable Hugh Jackman shares both the day and the year with me.

30. Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
I've never had a night in Mexico, drunken, sober or otherwise.


31. Whats the craziest thing you've done?
Well, a case could be made for ziplining without a harness.


32. Favorite colour(s)?
Why is this question in every stinking meme???? Come up with something more interesting to ask me already!


33. What are your plans for tonight?
Putting a lot of miles on the mom taxi


34. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Seeing my nefarious plans come to fruition...Mwahahahahaha!!!!


35. Last time you smiled?
When I threw my head back and cackled at the last answer

Signs of Spring

It was a long, long winter. So far we've had two really beautiful weeks of spring weather and I was down for the count during that time. This past week got cold and yucky again. I was in great need of some evidence of spring so I went in search this weekend. Here's what I found around town and in the yard.

Some sort of ornamental tree in my yard.

Azalea bud.

Some tree near the baseball field. (Yeah, I'm a regular botanist. "This specimen is known as Limus Ignoramus Pinkia.")

Bluebells in my yard. (Now watch someone tell me that's not the real name.)

Dogwood (Its bark is worse than its bite. Har har har.)

Forsythia (Mini poll here...do you believe forsythia should be trimmed into some docile shape or allowed to get wild and bushy looking? I favor the wild look, Mr. Lime wants obedient shrubs.)

Fern frond. I had a hard time deciding which fern shot to use. I have another one with multiple fronds looking like they are dancing. This one looks like a "come hither" invitation. That's my mood right now, so that's the one ya get.

Bleeding hearts.

Lilacs

A fine example of Limus Ignoramus Blanca.