Friday 55 & Da Count-Passing it Down

FRIDAY 55
(an exercise in composing a story or poem in exactly 55 words)

A barely decipherable scrawl skipping important information.

A yellowed and splattered index card from eons ago.

A printed, titled card with careful lists and instruction in nearly perfect handwriting.

A bundled set of painstakingly typed notes to fit in a 3x5 inch space.

A 3 page handwritten letter with explicit secrets.

Generations of family recipes.

*image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/brighterworlds/301705464/


DA COUNT
(counting the good things we have instead of bemoaning the things we lack)

I'm recycling that Friday 55 from about a year and a half ago but my count for this week is new. My mother's side of the family has been good about making sure there is a genealogy that is kept current. However, it's been kept practically under lock and key with one or two individuals. One of the caretakers misplaced a significant chunk of her copy of the records. There are family recipes which have been handed down to the one or two cousins who specialize in a particular dish, while other recipes have been lost. There are family stories which are retold at each gathering and others that come as a surprise when they are shared, although it was assumed everyone knew the tale. There are old photographs which are cherished by those who hold them and coveted by those who lack them.

In the last couple of years the family matriarch has taken up writing. She has been reluctant to share her stories with people because her sisters looked down their noses at her efforts. She showed my brother, who is a published author, and he gave her words of encouragement. She has ventured out tentatively to show a few others one at a time. This past Christmas I was brought into that circle. I was delighted and honored. It is interesting to note she has chosen mostly the cousins in my age group. We have all encouraged her to write more and continue sharing. She said with some embarrassment that her sisters thought it was a waste of time. I told her to ignore them and write for herself and for the generation who is hungry for her words. She beamed....and within a week I had two stories in my mailbox.

This week one of my younger cousins sent out a mass email to the family requesting whatever genealogical information they have so he can plug it into some good software and make it available to all of us electronically. I responded quickly telling him how happy I was that he was doing this. We discussed photos and recipes back and forth and I agreed to try to collate as many family recipes as people were willing to share. I'm really excited about this effort.

Quite some time ago, Lecram gave me two domain names. I regret to say they have been dormant since he so generously bestowed them upon me. I will eventually move this blog to one of them. The other I am planning to give over to my family so we can move our genealogy, recipes, photos, and stories into the digital age so everyone has easy access to whatever they want.

This week I am counting another cousin's vision to do something combining with mine and Lecram's gift which can facilitate that.

Slice of Lime-Time to Make the Fastnachts

DISCLAIMER: Viewing of the following video clips may be a hazard to your health. Creating them was certainly a hazardous undertaking considering the sleep deprivation endured and the presence of boiling oil. Do not attempt to recreate these scenes at home. The filmmaker is highly untrained and just look what happened to her! Viewing these scenes or overindulging in fastnachts may result in delirium, tics and twitches, brain damage, simple chronic halitosis, acne, psychosis, beri beri, tingling in the earlobes, severe nostril cramps, and terminal nail fungus. Erections lasting over 4 hours should be referred to the blog author immediately.


As you know, on Tuesday I got up well before dawn to fry up Fastnachts for Fat Tuesday. If that's not shocking enough to those who know how much I hate early mornings, prepare to be amazed. I also filmed the process in segments all so you lovely people could bask in the horror of my very unlovely 4 am self. Of course I am assuming you all are fans of horror. I apologize to those readers/viewers possessing a more delicate constitution. There are 5 videos because I have no idea whatsoever how to edit them into a single clip but don't worry, they are all mercifully brief. So without further ado...



Good grief, check the bags under those eyes...and the squint. Look away!

Next, the rolling and cutting.

Such eloquence, really. And I am sure Grammy did not use a New York Giants Pilsner glass being the temperate woman she was.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, she fires them. This is a truly death defying feat as she scoops fastnachts into the hot oil with one hand and works the camera with the other. What was she thinking? It was before dawn...she wasn't thinking at all...except perhaps, "Oh, my bed would feel sooooo nice right now." But on the upside, she's finally got more than dime slits for eyes.

Little did I know any nausea induced by the camera work would be far exceeded by the wretched indigestion after eating a bunch of these for breakfast and throughout the day. I now know what it feel like to digest bricks.


Here is the 25 second clip that will horrify the well mannered everywhere.
I demonstrate the edibility of the fastnachts and talk with a mouthful. That Lime, she is one classy chick.

In defense of my sense of decorum, I at least put a bra on before coming into the kitchen. I could say it was for the sake of propriety but really it is because the pain associated with accidentally deep frying my nipples if I leaned over the frying pan was a greater motivator.


Finally, after I was awake for a few hours and had a chance to make myself presentable I evaluate the results. Basically I figured if I was going to put up those earlier and far more horrific clips I had to end with something where I at least looked like a member of the human race.

To add further commentary, the excessive number of fastnachts I consumed wound up sitting in my gut like doughy bricks for the rest of the day. It was generally agreed at House of Lime that this was not a highly successful Fat Tuesday as les bontemps did not rouler when it came to fastnachts. Live and learn...

Here She Comes to Save the Daaaaaaay!

I'm suffering from a fastnacht hangover today and needed an idea for post. After a particularly irritating conversation last night I have a rant I'd like to spew out but I figured this would be more fun for all of you. Thanks to Suldog for the idea turning myself into a super hero at the Hero Factory. It was so much fun I made three versions. I just wish they'd let me give my own name to these heroes.

Personally, I'd call this first one the Limenatrix. I couldn't resist that lasered whip for a weapon. In retrospect she ought to ditch the cape. I just see that getting in the way when she cracks the whip.

The name for this one isn't half bad. She'd be the badass librarian superhero crusading against dog-earring of books and overdue returns, imparting knowledge wherever she went, leaving literature in her wake. I would have given her the Date Stamp of Doom as her weapon if it were an option. She can also use her library card like a razored throwing star and her Sonic Shush stops ignoramus perpetrators in their tracks.

This name is just the worst. First of all, it's boring. Secondly, that sword is way more ninja like than piratical. Next, I am far more inclined to hygienic practices than the average pirate. Besides that sleek hero costume is built for stealth and speed not swash and buckle. We'll call this one the Limanator. She's a bad guy's worst nightmare.

So which one of these alter egos of mine do you want swooping in to save the day?

If you want to be a hero too head on over to the Hero Factory. Then let me know all about your alternate identity.

Fastnacht Day!

It's Fastnacht Day! Or Shrove Tuesday...or Carnival...or Mardi Gras. Take your pick. Last year I shared the Pennsylvania German fastnacht tradition for Shrove Tuesday. I'll be making them again today, and listening to my Trinidad steel pan music at the same time. Since both Diana and Calypso have spent time in New Orleans I suspect there may be some beads and masks tossed around this house as well. Who knows, maybe even a flash or two.

That's Grammy up there making donuts. No fancy donut cutters for Grammy. She used a glass and a thimble to cut them. She made fastnachts too. The main difference between donuts and fastnachts is fastnachts don't have a hole in them and are made with mashed potatoes in the dough. If you want to be a real purist they are also supposed to be fried in lard. One year I decided to be a purist. Frying dozens and dozens of fastnachts in lard was disgusting. My face felt like it was coated in lard and for days all I could smell was lard. I think it permeated my nostrils far too deeply. It was so gross I couldn't even bring myself to even enjoy eating the fastnachts. It was utterly revolting. I get nauseated thinking about it now. That mistake will not be repeated...back to peanut oil for me. Forgive me, Grammy.

I'm sure she will. Grammy was pretty relaxed. Allow me to share a donut related example. She used to fry donuts to sell. For years her oft-repeated line to a customer was, "Bring back the holes and I will give you a free dozen." One day a boy came to buy a sack of donuts. As she handed over the bag she delivered the standard jest with a wink. The next day he came back with the greasy paper bag containing a dozen bits of donut that had been carefully eaten leaving only a tiny ring around the hole. Now some people would have been disgusted and others would have been indignant but this was Grammy. She howled with laughter that the joke was on her. She very happily made good as she counted out a free dozen for the lad. She did have to stop using her favorite line though.

So now I suppose you want the recipe. Well, the sad thing is this is one recipe that was never written down in any real form at all so over the years I have tried all sorts of different recipes. I have one other cousin who has tried many different combinations and permutations as well and she's not sharing. I'm clearly more generous than she is because I'll at least give you the recipe I plan to attempt today. *Sticking out my tongue in her general direction*

FASTNACHTS
1 C. warm mashed potatoes
3 egg yolks
1 C. sugar
1 yeast cake or one envelope dry yeast dissolved in
1 C. warm water
1 C. flour

-Mix well in large bowl. Add 3 egg whites beaten stiff. Let rise 3 hours.

Add:
1 C. butter
1. cup warm potato water (left from cooking potatoes)
1 C. sugar
6-7 C. flour

-Knead well. Let rise 6-6 1/2 hours. Roll out dough 1/2 inch thick. Cut and let rise again for a short time. Fry in hot oil.

I've got no commentary on the finer points of executing this recipe since it's one I haven't tried before. Given that crazy rise time though I will start the dough Monday night so it rises while I sleep. My nod to being a "purist" will be getting up to make them well before the buttcrack of dawn. I must be out of my mind. Hey! You didn't have to be so eager to agree with me!

I'm setting this thing for autopost so by the time you read this I should be in "the fastnacht zone." Either that or in a dough induced coma from over indulgence...or possibly in the nuthouse cursing this recipe while I careen off the padded walls.

Happy Fastnacht Day!

UPDATE (6:00 am): I actually hauled myself out of bed at 4am to begin the rolling, cutting, frying process. everything was done by 5:30 am and mostly cleaned up. The results of this recipe were mixed. The dough took way more than 7 cups of flour in order to be even remotely kneadable. It rose nicely and I kept the oil at a constant temp but some of the fastnachts didn't cook all the way through. Grrr.... Is it my incompetence at such and unreasonable hour (or just in general)? Is it the recipe? I dunno. The ones that cooked through were yummy. I think I may just need to give up on traditional "holeless" fastnachts and just cut holes in them all the time so they definitely cook through. Ok, I'm off to hustle the limelets who will no doubt move through the fastnachts like a swarm of locusts.

Weekend Ramblings

• In some ways my sense of humor never evolved past that of a 14 year old boy's. Every single time I go to BJ's Club (a discount warehouse like Sam's or Costco) I laugh at the name.
• I think it is perhaps very sad commentary that I spent Friday night at BJ's.
• Sleeping in on a Saturday morning is such a simple pleasure which I thoroughly enjoy.
• I hate wearing make-up. I don't even own any to wear. But I really do enjoy taking time to give myself a facial or a pedicure on a Saturday morning while listening to Car Talk on NPR.
• Yes, I know that is a bizarre juxtaposition. I'm cool with that. I'm all about bizarre juxtapositions.
  
• Partly, I like being able to use the letters X ans Z in close proximity and the way the words feel on my tongue.
• I bet you had no idea I'd start with a sideways reference to fellatio and move on to linguistic pleasures that are entirely phonological.
• Can you just imagine the weird Google searches that will land people on this page? I think I'd rather not. Moving right along....
  
• It really sucks (and not in the gratifying manner referred to previously) when someone makes light of your dreams, especially if that person had a hand in crushing some of them.
• It's really very lovely when a very sweet master's student from Texas who is a long way from home takes a big sisterly type interest in your middle child who is...well...a middle child.
• I think Isaac grew about 3 inches while he was out Saturday. It's very weird to have to look UP to make eye contact with my 13 year old....and to hear a low voice from him...and to see a fuzzy upper lip on him. Where did my goofy little boy go?
  
• I miss getting the daily newspaper because online versions don't offer the same sensory experience. I like the crinkle of an undisturbed newspaper when you open it the first time.
• I savor the Sunday paper, even the ads. If you mess with the comics before I get to them or you try to abscond with the crossword/jumble/cryptoquip/super sudoku before I get to them I will be more than a little annoyed. I will gladly scan the puzzles so we both have a copy to work on but don't freaking deprive me, ok????
• I feel similarly about Orange Juice. I have no interest in the evil bean juice that holds so many in its sway but don't be messing with my OJ supply.
• I know I shouldn't be but I am utterly astonished by how quickly a hungry horde of teens can eat through a cart of stuff from BJ's. Holy moly!! Keep your hands back or you could loose a finger!
• Potatoes fried with onions and garlic and then some eggs cracked over them with cheese mixed in really hits the spot when you don't feel like fussing over anything major.
  
• The only reason I watched the Oscars was to see the ever delectable Hugh Jackman. I'd do him in the middle of Main Street at high noon given the chance.
• It's not about his physique. It's the glint in his eye and the devilment in his smile. He also seems like a really decent human being who doesn't take himself overly seriously...and I kinda like that we have the exact same birthday....and his accent. I'm a total sucker for the accent. *Swoons*
• I was most disturbed during the Oscars to realize Sean Penn is a dead ringer for the former sailor I once dated. The sailor had a high creep factor. There were some hard won lessons there. *Shudders*
  
• The sailor did teach me about antiques though and, um, one other thing...
  

Friday 55 & Da Count-Partaking of Flesh

FRIDAY 55

Barely whispered desire
a soft earlobe taken gently between lips
nibbling along a jawline
down an exposed throat
across a collarbone
hungry kisses
slowly descend a torso
tender skin flushes with ripeness
a mouth lingers momentarily
over the agonizing choice
to ravenously devour the feast
or slowly savor the succulence
in the partaking of flesh





DA COUNT

Well, it's an entirely different sort of partaking of flesh but this week I am counting Calypso's return to omnivorism. A little over 2 years ago she announced she was becoming a vegetarian. It was kind of a pain in the neck to accommodate this new dietary restriction when her father and siblings are firmly in the meat eating camp of hunter/gatherers but I did my best to keep everyone happy. A couple of weeks ago after I had made sloppy joes for dinner one night Calypso came out of the kitchen shovelling the leftovers into her mouth as fast as she could. In between bites she moaned blissfully, "Mmmmmm, I REALLY missed meat!" Last night we went to a steakhouse to celebrate her rediscovered joy in carnivorous delights. I'm counting a return to easier meal planning and a night off from cooking and kitchen cleanup.

Slice of Lime-Snow Day

We had our first significant snow in October, which is ridiculously early. I do like snow but in addition to lots of snow this winter it has been dreary and overcast. When the sun shines with the snow it is far more enjoyable. The dreariness is just depressing. Yesterday brought another dumping of snow and a hidden sun. Bleh.

Today I present Lisa Loeb's Snow Day. A particular friend and I were both in a somewhat bleak place a few years ago. We spent a snow day enduring it together after which I was told to go listen to this song. Life gets bleak but a pal can get you through.


Snow Day

it's a bad day.
it's a train ride.
it's a bad day.
you're my medicine.

it's a snow day.
it's a full moon.
it's a snow day.

when'd you get down to my bones?
where'll i find that wishing stone?
the beads, the records,
all the calls, and the drinks alone.

first by mind, then by music
you'll make this all less confusing.
it's a slow dive down,
a fast distraction,
a strange fall forward -
my lame reaction.

it's a bad day.
it's a long ride.
It s a bad day.
you're my medicine.

it's a sinking feeling,
pulls me through the seat of chairs.
when will you come rescue me,
find solace, and then take me there?

you'll say, "you re not too tired for this life, and
it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice.
you're not too tired for this life, and
it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice."

when' d you get down to my bones?
where'll i find that wishing stone?
the beads, the records,
all the calls, and the drinks alone.

it's a bad day.
2 miles to go.
it's a bad day.
you're my medicine.

you'll say, "you're not too tired for this life,
and it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice.
you're not too tired for this life,
and it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice."

you're my medicine.
you're my medicine.
you're my medicine.
you're my medicine.
it's a long ride

~lisa loeb~

Looking Back

I've always liked looking at old photo albums. Fortunately, my mother always kept them pretty organized. Pictures were in albums and labeled so we knew who was in them. She also went back and organized the photos belonging to her parents and in-laws. Paging through them was a favorite rainy day activity for me when I was a kid. I guess it still is. Since my brother doesn't really have interest in such things I've been fortunate enough to have them pass to me. I've been looking through some of them lately and thought I'd share a few. Pardon me if I ramble.

We can trace our genealogy back to the forefather who first came to the US in the 1700s and I believe to his parents in Germany but this set of brothers in the picture below represents those who are most closely related on my mom's side. From the left (and youngest to oldest) you see Linwood, Roy, and Russell. I am the first great-grandchild of Russell. I never met any of these men since they all died before I was ever born but this picture demonstrates a certain rowdy togetherness that still permeates my extended family. I also know Russell and Roy were responsible as older brothers to get jobs early in order to finance Linwood's higher education but with the expectation that Linwood's increased earning potential would benefit his brothers as well as himself. That was the way things were done in a family which could not afford to educate all its members.

It's interesting to see how that has affected the branches of the family descended from each of these men. Linwood's family is full of engineers, architects, and professors who have lived very comfortably for a long time. Roy had only daughters who were prepared to be housewives. Among Russell's children and grandchildren are a great many blue collar workers who, with each succeeding generation send a few more of its children on to higher education.




Here are the sisters Helen (top), Florence (left), and Bertha(right). When Helen married Russell the family of brothers at the top welcomed the families of these sisters. Florence died before I was born and I know very little about her. Helen and Russell had 5 children (my grandfather was their oldest) who Bertha and her husband doted on since they were never able to have children.

Bertha was the seamstress who taught my mother much of what she knows about sewing as well as how to tat. I've tried without any measurable success to learn tatting. I am thankful to my mom for encouraging me to sew. I know she is very grateful to her great aunt for teaching her. Our other aunts and cousins are glad too since they all go to my mom for whatever repairs and alterations they might need.

Helen was the cook and baker. It was her nature to feed people. She fried countless donuts to sell. She cooked Sunday dinner for all the children and grandchildren every week. During the Depression her house was a well known stop on the circuit for the hungry seeking a meal. Her recipes consist of "a handful of this and a bunch of that mixed until it looks just so." If you wonder about where my tendency to be inexact in my recipes comes from she could be part of that. She was the family storyteller too and wove her magic well. That's something I have consciously aspired to.

Finally, we have Helen and Russell on their anniversary. I'm told he was somewhat stern in some ways and a bit lacking in mercy in others but I know she always spoke lovingly of him. Even though I was 9 when she died I still remember the look she'd get in her eye when she spoke of him and when she told the story of his death. There are days when I wish she were still here so I could explore her lifetime of experience and ask her how to live and love as well as she did.

Quilts on Tuesday-Old and New

Let's start with another old quilt. This is another of the many quilts I recently acquired from my Dad's side of the family. My mom seems to think Dad's grandmother made this Sun Bonnet Sue baby quilt in hopes that a baby girl would use it. Since my dad only had a brother that has yet to occur. I am thinking if I ever have a granddaughter (though let me be very clear this is not something I am in a hurry to have!) she ought to get to use this.

Here's a close up so you can see some of the pretty calicoes used in the background. If you click you can get a better gander at the hand stitching done to applique Sue to her square. I find it interesting that the actual quilting on such an old quilt is machine stitched.

Although Sun Bonnet Sue is the main focus in this girl's quilt I find it really charming that the border fabric is in a cowboy print. Could there be some sweethearts trying to round up Sue?

In new quilt news, this is what 900 flannel quilt squares look like. I finished cutting them all this week so now I need to start assembling the 3 layer sandwiches that will make each block. I've had some good suggestions from other folks who have made flannel quilts in the past. I appreciate the words of wisdom from experienced quilters. One has advised me that the flannel will stretch around and pinning is important. That might seem obvious but I have to admit I tend to avoid pinning when I sew straight seams. My mom also suggested I do some test blocks with scraps to see whether or not I may need a walking foot for my machine since I am working with so many layers of fabric.

Finally, Mom suggested I give poor Betsy (my sewing machine) a tune up before I run her so hard. I am realizing I also need to clear a sufficient space on my sewing table to do all this sewing. Somehow that seems more daunting than actually sewing this quilt...

Copped from Cooper (a long time ago)

1. Have you ever had inappropriate dreams about coworkers? (You know what I mean..)Um, no I don't really know what you mean. Could you spell it out for me?

2. Name the first person you ever told to fuck off.
You mean I get to re-christen him with a new name? Great! then I dub him Sir Hemorrhoid, Duke of Puke, Lord of all that is Foul and Diseased.

3. Have you ever smoked pot or worse?
I had a really hard time getting that blasted cast iron dutch oven to light. My stainless steel Farberware didn't work much better. Inhaling was impossible.

4. How and where were you conceived?
I was hatched from an alien egg.

5. Have you ever stolen anything?
Moments and kisses

6. Ever been handcuffed?
No, been duct-taped though. And thank you for dredging up such painful memories. Why dontcha give me a paper-cut and pour lemon juice in it now?

7. Ever been arrested? Naked?
I have had naked activities arrested.

8. Has anybody ever caught you watching porn?
Just food porn.

9. Do you have any unusual piercings?
Sometimes my eyes and voice are unusually piercing.

10. Do you know any crack dealers or pimps?
I once hired a plumber with bad acne. Does that cover them both?

11. Have you ever done a hit and run in your car?
Do squirrels and deer count?

12. Have you ever been in jail?
Why yes, yes I have...as a teacher.

13. Have you ever fired a gun?

I've never hired one to be able to fire him later.

14. Ever ridden a motorcycle in a race on the highway?
Zipline not withstanding, do I look like I have a deathwish?

15. Ever broken into a building illegally (as in, not your own house)?
Do I strike you as foolish enough to publicly admit to a felony?

16. Do you keep the extra change the checkout person gives you by mistake?
The checkout person can't change me. Only I can change myself.

17. What is your most guilty pleasure?
Why should pleasure be guilt inducing?

18. Who do you most hate?
Pedophiles

19. Could you kill somebody?
Am I physically capable? Am I morally conflicted about doing so?

20. What was your worst Freudian slip?
It happened when I was Jung

Da Count in a Friday 55-First Kisses

Gustav Klimt's The Kiss

Was it soft and sweet?
Was it one shy peck
or a deep exploration?
Was it a surprise?
Did a long held desire finally explode?
Did a hand gently draw your faces close?
Did arms encircle each other like you'd never let go?
Did your eyes flutter closed in bliss?
How was your first kiss?

Slice of Lime-Steal Your Kisses

Today I give you Ben Harper's Steal My Kisses. I hope none of you has to steal a kiss for Valentine's Day. I hope they are given to you generously.

I put into Nashville, Tennessee, but you wouldn't even come around to see me
And since your headin' up to Carolina, You know I'm gonna be right there behind you

'Cause I always have to steal my kisses from you
Always have to steal my kisses from you

Now I love to feel that warm southern rain, just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding

Thing
And to see it fall on your simple country dress it's like heaven to me I must confess

'Cause I always have to steal my kisses from you
Always have to steal my kisses from you

Now I've been hangin around you for days, but when I lean in you just turn your head away
Oh no, you didn't mean that
She said I love the way you think, but I hate the way you act

'Cause I always have to steal my kisses from you
Always have to steal my kisses from you

Lime's Last Minute Valentine Gift Giving Guide.

Forget about chocolates, cards, and roses. Everyone is doing that. Do you want to be truly original this Valentine's Day? Let me share some fabulous gifts you could bestow upon that special someone. Everything here is for sale right on Etsy.com.


Here we have the Bright Yellow Banana Blanket, which is labeled "mature." Later the maker refers to is as a Cock Cozy sized to fit up to 8 inches and stretching to accommodate various girths. The knitter also apologizes for the potential tobacco smell this item may carry but speculates if you are ordering such a thing that may be the least of your worries. This unique item can be given by the thoughtful woman in Arctic climes wanting to make sure her significant other's tender bits are kept warm. Alternately it makes an attractive cover for the toys belonging to the unattached modern woman.




For the gentleman wanting to give his sweetheart jewelry but unable to afford diamonds here's a seriously creepy opportunity. These disturbing Arm Earrings will also appeal to the ecologically and socially conscious since their creator indicates she made the earrings to use of leftover parts from some other upsetting project. Plus, there's no worry about gems in jewelry being used to fund horrific wars using child soldiers in third World countries. You can wear these body parts proudly knowing you haven't contributed to anyone else loosing their arms in war.




Next we have an item which, according to the seller, is great for men who can't grown their own moustache or women who want to know how the other half lives. We are also told this Moustache Disguise is for the young at heart but not suitable for those under 14. I can't imagine why on earth that would be but I do agree they are far more potentially upsetting than a PG-13 movie.








Of course, if finances are too tight to afford any of these lovely suggestions you can just allow the bird on this Magnet to inspire you in your gift giving. Actually, I quite like these magnets. I think they are an amusingly snarky avian version of lolcats.

Peace, Love, and Chocolate

Last Thursday I posed with my 5 pound Hershey bar and told you all I'd finally be hacking into it for the sake of making some yummy desserts. I chopped some up to make fondue for my girl's night out. I gave the Limelets all a chunk to gnaw on and then I used a big chunk to make this next recipe. I may have used a wee bit more than suggested by the recipe...

Some time ago I posted about my love of Peanut Butter Tasty Kakes. They are just so good. This recipe is a very good approximation of the ones you can buy. Since they are homemade they are better in some ways. And now, allow me to share my beloved recipe with you....again...new and improved with pictures!



Faux Peanut Butter Tasty Kakes

4 eggs
2 C. sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 C. milk
2 C. flour
2 tsp baking powder
8 oz. Hershey bar or other milk chocolate
1 C. peanut butter


I started out cracking the eggs, at which point I had to pause because it seemed even the kitchen deities were smiling upon me. Well, ok, the eggs were...but that has to be a good omen, right?

The directions say to beat the eggs until they are thick and lemony, then gradually add milk ,sugar, and vanilla. This takes a while. Feel free to dance while you do this. Just keep the beaters in the bowl. I really don't need raw egg splattered all over my kitchen, thank you very much. I might suggest Devo's Whip It but if you have something else you want to shake your groove thang to during this process it's your kitchen. I take no responsibility if your eggs frown at you for it though. Actually, I don't have Whip It on my iPod. I think I was winin' to meh calypso and soca tunes and gettin' on bad. Works for me, and my eggs.

Next you are supposed to blend the dry ingredients and fold them into the egg mixture gently. I didn't take a picture of that. Just be nice and gentle to the eggs ok? After all, they smiled so sweetly at you. Then you pour it all into greased and floured jelly roll pan and bake at 350F 15-20 minutes. Now you're going to have to use your imaginations because I didn't take any pictures of this either. If you can't visualize some batter in a jelly roll pan what hope is there for you or for anyone exhorting you to visualize something as abstract as world peace for that matter? Sad really.

(Insert mental image of sponge cake batter in an old jelly roll pan HERE) Ok, instead of that here's a picture of the chocolate I chopped up to melt for the top of the cake plus some more for fondue later. Notice the lovely new tie dyed dish towel setting off the fabulous chocolate. I do find that when I want to let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me, chocolate and tie dye are wonderful starting points.




I also forgot to take a picture of the baked sponge cake. I trust you can figure out what it looked like, we already covered this whole using your imagination thing...If you're going to complain about the lack of pictures I will hasten to point out that this recipe, unlike so many of my others, has exact measurements for the ingredients and explicit directions. You can't have it all. This ain't the Food Network, you know. For one thing, I am a whole lot heftier than that Giada DeLaurentis chick (never trust a skinny cook). But I digress. The next step is to spread the peanut butter while the sponge cake is still warm. See? I DID take a picture of that. Just put little blobs of the PB all over the top and let the heat of the cake make it all melty and spreadable. Do be gentle or you'll tear the cake to shreds. Don't say I didn't warn you. Really, I won't take any blame. I'll just shake my head, mutter under my breath about the inability of some folks to follow directions, and go eat chocolate without even the least hint of guilt over your mangled cake.
After you smear on the PB let it cool.


Finally, spread the melted chocolate on top. Of course, I have assumed you already melted the chocolate that you already chopped up. If you didn't do that why are you sitting here reading this? Go do it now! Sheesh, it's not going to melt itself, especially not in February in the northern hemisphere.

After everything has cooled down and firmed up (What? Is this cake a roller coaster with all these ups and downs?) you can cut it and enjoy it. Mmmmm....looks good doesn't it?

You know you want some. Go ahead. It will promote peace...if not on a global scale at least in your own life...as long as you don't step on a scale after indulging.

But I swear, if you try to mess with what's left of my 5 pound Hershey bar there will be blood.

Swap-o-rama

One of the things I love about blogging is the chance to interact with people all over the world. I learn so much about places I have never been from people I might not otherwise have met. A couple of years ago I met Renny and Diane, a couple from Norway. I've really learned a lot about Norway from both of them. They offer slightly different perspectives since Renny is Norwegian and Diane is American. Both have wonderful blogs that are a delight to visit. Some time ago Renny offered all his readers a chance to engage in a swap of gifts unique to whatever area the participant is from. I jumped at the chance.

Here are the lovely surprises from Norway I found in my mailbox. first are a pair of adorable little trolls who sit on my kitchen windowsill along with a few other "friends." They keep me company when I am in there cooking and dancing. Renny and Diane also sent a CD of music by famous Norwegian composers and let me know the trolls are especially fond of Edvard Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King.

The other item they sent was a really lovely hand painted wooden plate. The style is similar to what I know as tole painting, which is popular in the Pennsylvania German tradition, so I especially loved this piece.

If you head over to Renny's place you can see what I sent him and Diane. I am betting you can all guess what sort of thing I sent but go check and say hello.

In other news, NYD won the contest with his plan for how to thwart an evil mastermind, thus he may claim he pair or tie dyed socks...assuming he considers that a prize. Congrats, NYD! thanks to all of you for your plans. They all gave me quite a chuckle.

How Random Do I Have To Be?

Beach Bum tagged me again for that infernal "6, 7, 8, a Billion Random Things About Me" Meme. I have done this meme so many times as well as listing 100 things about me. If I do it again I'm going to have to ask you all for a blood test or something. In the post below the one in which he tagged me Beach Bum had some random pick up a book and flip to some page meme. Well, I am making up my own thing here. You're going to get some random books on my shelf. Deal with it. These books are also going to function as Da Count this week because I love books. For the record, they are all books I'd highly recommend so I guess it's not entirely random...you'll live.


Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White. Yep, Charlotte's Web is more famous and probably more beloved. But this is my favorite E.B. White children's title. When I was a kid my dad gave me the set of White's 3 kid classics. I loved them all but poor mute Louis and his struggle to win the affections of Serena captured me. I was rooting for him all the way. I loved how he found ways to adapt for his "handicap." I loved his humor and his work ethic. I loved that he lived and worked in the Philadelphia Zoo, which was one of my favorite places as a kid. I always looked forward to a trip there every summer. I look at that old book from my childhood and I smile.

Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization by W. Hodding Carter. Go ahead, laugh. I know most of you are scratching your heads while thinking, "Lime has really gone off her nut." Well, I like nonfiction. I like trivia. I like knowing "why?" I saw this title and had to pick it up to read the blurb. I read the blurb and had to buy the book. I read the book and learned more than I imagined I would. I also laughed like a loon at parts of it. Carter really makes his case as he chronicles the innovations in public sanitation from the ancient world to present day to innovations in the developing world that industrialized nations ought to be considering so we may all move forward. Not content to be a pie in the sky scholar, Hodding chose to experiment with making lead pipes the way the Romans did. In the process he learns more than he bargained for regarding lead poisoning. Ok, fine. I have weird taste in books but this is good, trust me.

Giraffes? Giraffes! by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey. It's the most hilariously disreputable thing I've ever read. In it you will learn such important tidbits as the Libertarian tendencies of giraffes, that conveyor belts are their preferred mode of transportation, and that they invented latex sometime after the period of time when they helped prehistoric man paint on cave walls.

Let Me Go by Helga Schneider. This is an absolutely gut-wrenching read in which the author chronicles her final visit with the mother who abandoned the family to be a guard at a concentration camp. The author struggles to understand what could possibly motivate a person to do such a thing and whether or not her mother feels a shred of remorse. Schneider also wrestles with what it means for her own identity to have such a monster for a mother even if that mother was absent for most of her life. I actually read this after Calypso found it in a bookstore and recommended it to me.

Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish by Sue Bender. This is much lighter reading but will also provoke thought. Bender became obsessed with learning about the Amish after seeing a traditional quilt. It struck a deep note in her with its simplicity and yet its depth. She was given a rare opportunity to live with an Amish family during which time she came to examine many of her own values and creative drives. She came away enriched in unexpected ways and with a greater clarity of thought. She shares insights that shattered some of her misconceptions about the Amish and presents a respectful though not romanticized glimpse into Amish life.

Runny Babbit: A Billy Sook by Shel Silverstein. Pretty much anything by Silverstien is a a book I love. His sideways perspective on things has made me laugh for a long time. This book as published posthumously and even though my own kids were more or less beyond the age group intended I couldn't resist a story told entirely with spoonerisms. The way he plays with language is just too fun to miss.

Slice of Lime-Chocolate is a Girl's Best Friend

You may recall that back in October I received a 5 pound Hershey bar for my birthday. What you don't know is that I have not eaten a bite of it yet. You may find that hard to believe but it's true. I saved it because the gal pals who came to my party have a get together every February during which our entire menu consists of desserts. I promised to save the gigantic block of chocolate for this occasion. I will be making a couple of recipes with it, leaving some for the family, and who knows what with the remains (if there are any). I figured it was better to share this treasure, partly because shared fun is increased fun and partly because if I ate it all myself the 5 lbs of chocolate would turn into 10 lbs of belly, hips, and butt.

Before I start carving into this thing though I needed a few moments alone to savor it.
Mmmmm.....

Oooohhhh...

Aaaahhh...

*If you haven't voted in yesterday's poll please take a moment to scroll down to the next post and do so. So far I only have 19 votes. I know more than 19 of you swing by here every day. Voting is open until 11 PM EST tomorrow.

Interview Weirdness

A little over a week ago I was interviewed by Ella. In return I offered to interview others. Several brave people risked their very sanity to answer whatever 5 interview questions I threw at them. I gave them all original questions but all of them had one question in common. What they didn't know is that after I gave the question I decided to make it a contest of sorts. Today I am presenting you all with the responses to the common question and asking you to vote for the answer you like best. The winner will be awarded a pair of original tie-dyed socks.

Onto the question...

An evil mastermind is going to destroy the world unless you can stop him. You are armed with a spoon, a rubber chicken, a can of aquanet, and a bucket of peanuts. What is your plan?



Craver was the first to offer a solution:
Oh, that's too easy!!! Since evil masterminds can't resist monologues, I wait until he begins, then I cause a distraction by flipping the bird (the chicken of course!) and while everyone is momentarily taken aback, I use the spoon to flick peanuts to wipe out his minions, making sure I aim carefully, as I intend to eat whatever's left, then spray the aquanet in his face, emptying the entire contents. Overturning the empty peanut bucket on his head, I bang away with the empty aquanet canister until he concedes his defeat.

.I hope I get to keep the chicken when I'm done.

Next Furiousball weighed in:
Luckily the evil mastermind is an elephant with a penchant for Winger and all things 80s hair metal. Ergo, I lure him into my trap with the can of Aquanet and peanuts. Then I would distract him by throwing the spoon past his eyes, allowing me to shove the rubber chicken up his ass. Then whenever he would pass gas, this would inflate the chicken, causing him to retreat back into his jungle from the shame.

My save the world plan is based on a lot of caveats I realize… not sure if many elephants that like Winger would want to take over the world. Also, I’m not sure if elephant farts would actually inflate the rubber chicken or just shoot it out at the speed of light. I might be unknowingly arming this elephant to shoot elephant fart scented rubber chickens at innocent people.

Next Suldog shared his plan. I find it interesting to note that he and Furiousball found similar use for the rubber chicken.
OK, here’s what I’d do. I’d invite him over for dinner. I’d grind up the peanuts and put them into everything, and hope he has a severe allergy. If that doesn’t work, after dinner I’ll ask him if he wants to have sex with me.

(I’m as hetero as they come [no pun intended] but if the fate of the world is at stake, I’m willing to make some sacrifices.)

If the shock of me asking him for sex doesn’t kill him, I have another plan. Before he arrives for dinner, I will have cut a hole in the rubber chicken and sprayed the carcass full of the Aquanet, then patched it up. When he strips naked, I’ll jam the rubber chicken up his ass, light a match, and throw it at him. That ought to do the trick. Now, you're probably wondering how I would survive the resultant blast. I'll be hiding behind the spoon. You might say that's ridiculous, but you didn't specify how big the spoon had to be.

If he doesn't have a peanut allergy, or isn't interested in gay sex, I'll just whack him over the head with the really big spoon. As a matter of fact, I should probably do that first. I might not feel like cooking that night (although missing out on the chance to shove a rubber chicken up someone's butt might leave me sad. It's not often you get that sort of an opportunity.)

Cooper conjured up some interesting images with his plan, which thankfully did not involve the chicken being inserted in anyone.
Spray my entire naked body with aquanet and apply the peanuts until I am covered from head to toe. Blow up the rubber chicken and jam the handle of the spoon down it’s throat. While the mastermind is distracted by the peanut covered body, I squeeze the rubber chicken, shooting the spoon with bullet like speed so that it lodges in the forehead of a portrait of the mastermind’s pet cow, Cerberus, thus reducing the twisted genius to a quivering mass of remorse.

Next Ms. Solitaire shared a plan with a uniquely feminine twist.
First, I’ll start by training a herd of Elephants with the peanuts, they will be trained to trample what ever I designate. Designation of the stampede is by using the spoon to slingshot the rubber chicken at the evil mastermind. I’ll use the aquanet to make sure my hair looks perfect after the elephants and the slingshotting for the press and photo ops!


APJ followed with a plan that is to serve as the plot for her next show.
This is my 2010 Rogue Show, starring Apj, Lime and Solitaire. The evil Princess Solitaire has not only taken over the Rogue, but has her sights on the world as well. And if the world won't bow to her will.... But never fear! APj and Lime know of her rubber chicken and peanuts fetish (did she say "peanus"?) and are not afraid to throw peanuts her way (did she really say "peanus?")! And if all else fails, APj and Lime have the Spoon of Swoon, which always reduces the Princess to a puddle.

yes, yes, I know - I didn't use the Aquanet. Hey -- you gotta have something for the sequel, right?

Next, Barman took a shot at the evil mastermind.
It turns out that in one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz past professions we a stand up comic. I found this out about a year ago when, as fate would have it I bumped into Dr D bellied up to the bar. He was about to leave but I thought it would be a shame not to see what his story was so I slipped the waitress a fin to set a bucket of peanuts next to where I was sitting. Dr D could not help himself as he reached in an picked up a few peanuts. That lead to a few more peanuts and I capitalized on the moment and bought him a drink. It was a wild night but I found out enough to know Dr D was an inept evil wana-be.

When I realize the evil mastermind who was plotting to destroy the world was indeed Dr D I just knew I needed to be the one to do something. I planned on appealing to his vanity.

I gathered my McGuiver kit including a rubber chicken, a can of aquanet, and a spoon. It was a long shot but this just had to work.

I proceeded to the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated lair only to find a locked door. Luckily the handle of the spoon I had was easily fashioned into a pick and I was soon inside the lair. The next part was going to be the tricky part. I planted the rubber chicken on a table in the middle of the dinning room and waited in the shadows for him to take the bait. How could a standup comedian pass this up?

An hour or two went by and I must have nodded off a few times. At long last as the sun was setting, Dr D came into the dinning room and spotted the rubber chicken. He was very curious and could not help himself. He walked over to the rubber chicken and started to do some of his old stand up routines right then and there. He was so mesmerized by that chicken that when I snuck up on him and sprayed his hair with the can of aquanet he had no idea I was doing it, that is no idea until I started to smooth down his cowlick. He quickly put down the chicken and spun to see what was happening. It was at this point that I handed him the spoon so he could see his reflection in the spoon. He was in a trance and my plan had worked. The world was saved for now.

Finally we have NYD's pulp fiction inspired response.
It was eighteen years ago to the day. I remember it clearly, who wouldn't. After all, I had saved the world. You say preposterous? You've never heard of this before? Well just sit back, refill your glass and let me fill you in on all the inane details.
It's not under the purview of the general public to be privy to the classified double top secret information of an evil mastermind society that attempts to destroy the world once every four years somewhat like the Olympics or a presidential election, but without the medals, the sweat and the pomp of the opening ceremony.
Most often the hero perishes in his defence of the world. I didn't. This is the how and the why.
The odd. The follicley challenged. The neurotic and those with a penchant for peanuts are not often received as saviors of the earth, but that is exactly what happened.
I was workin a Sunday afternoon shift in the bar and things were quiet. I was passing the time by nibbling on peanuts and making silly faces while studying my reflection on the backside of a spoon. It was at the moment when all is almost quiet. The jukebox was between songs and only the subtle whir of the overhead fan could be heard. when the eerie silence was shattered by trouble pushing through the swinging door. She was tall. She was exotic. She wore a trench coat. I thought to myself; "of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine" (Sorry Bogie). I quickly slipped the spoon into my back pocket, replaced the lid on the ginormous bucket of salty nuts and proceeded to look busy by polishing a glass that needed no polishing.
The woman sauntered up to the bar and ordered a Pellegrino. I served her a whiskey, neat. She knocked it back and asked for another, a double and I knew I was in trouble. If she was the evil genius then this time around the world was in trouble. I didn't want to destroy her- I wanted to join her. The forces of evil had chosen well.
I had to find a way to prevent her from transferring the vital final information to her minions. I had to think fast. I remembered that the bartender from previous night had left a can of hairspray the infamous brand called Aquanet on a shelf in the locker room. This gave me an idea. I filled the she devil's glass once again and lifting the bucket of nuts I told her I needed to refill the bucket for the evenings festivities.
Making my way into the back I kept up a steady stream of patter while at the same moment I whipped out the spoon from my back pocket and punctured the can of hairspray with the back end of it. I then jammed the can of Aquanet into the bucket of salty, thirst inducing goober beans.
Returning to the bar, I challenged my nemesis to a game of chance. For every peanut she caught I would pay her the price of a drink or pour her one. Being an egomaniac destroyer of worlds who looked at the rest of us as nothing more than insects, she could hardly refuse my offer. I made the first few fairly easy to bolster her feelings of superiority, but then I started to make things more and more difficult by firing the hairspray covered peanuts from my spoon in rapid succession into her inviting mouth. After a few minutes of this she was way up on the count. Her ego wouldn't let her believe that a simple bartender could be tricking her. In a short time the hair spray had done it's job. She was unable to either swallow the nuts I had fired into her mouth nor could she expectorate for the glue that has held up the hairdos of millions of American women throughout three decades of beehive bouffants and Farrah Fawcett look alike styling would not allow any movement from her molars. My timing could not have been more perfect for just as the enamel was setting; her contact was coming throughout the door. As he ordered a bottle of Amstel Light I reached under the counter and pulled out the lead filled rubber chicken that was kept there for comedy self defense. I just happened to be teaching a class at the local university for nerds who needed protection and had reason to carry the innocuous object. Holding the bottle of beer in one hand I swung the chicken through the air not once, but twice! On the first stroke I laid out the contact. The second felled the girl. I carried her to the back room and alerted the agency. They arrived and took the man away. The world was saved with one stroke of my chicken (cough). As for the girl? Well let's just say she woke up next to a bartender and had a mouthful of nuts to chew on.

A spoon, a rubber chicken, a can of Aquanet, and a bucket of peanuts. is all you need to save the world and find a girl.

Online Surveys & Market Research

The poll is open until Friday at 11:00 pm Eastern time.

Good luck to all you wacky heroes!

Quilts on Tuesday-Getting Started

Some time ago I mentioned I was going to attempt making a full-sized quilt for the first time in my life. It is to be for Diana to take with her to college. At one point she said she was not terribly concerned about the design so long as the quilt was flannel. That worked out well for me as a mere novice since it means I can get away with making her a rag quilt. Rag quilts have exposed, frayed seams and seem to be a fairly forgiving form. Her design will be made entirely of squares so I won't have to drive myself bonkers making triangles and other odd shapes meet up exactly.




The trick was finding enough flannel in enough colors to go with the design I intend to do. I adapted this for a larger quilt. My mom plugged it into her jazzy quilt software which calculates yardages and then off we went to find flannel. Neither of the fabric stores in my town had anything close to an adequate selection of flannels unless I wanted cutsie baby patterns or matronly Victorian designs. Mom and I did some scouting and found some nice yard-dyed plaids at a place about halfway between where we each live. So my first lesson was in the difficulty procuring what you really want. My next lesson was in the astonishing cost of fabrics. Mom went halvsies with my on the fabric since it was a fair amount more than I expected and I didn't really have any other ideas for Diana's Christmas present. Here's the haul. The three plaids will make up the top of the quilt. The three solid colors will be the back. The white flannel, which is a king size set of flannel sheets I found on sale for $20 (woohoo! doing the great bargain dance...waaaaay cheaper than a comparable amount of yardage off a bolt) will be the center layer of the flannel "sandwiches" which will make up each square.



Now I had to get to work cutting squares. I realize some of my readers are quilters but for those who aren't let me explain the tools. I have a big cutting board with measurements on it and that odd looking ruler/straight edge, also with measurement markings. This all makes it easy to line up the fabric and cut accurately sized shapes. For small projects I have an ordinary clear ruler/straight edge and use a separate cutter that looks sort of like a pizza slicer. For this project, since I knew I had thick fabric to cut through and more of it than I have ever done before I was a little concerned about how Janita (my once demolished but now mostly recovered left hand/arm) would hold up. This new gadget has the blade attached to the ruler so I couldn't accidentally veer off and miscut. Given how much I spent on the fabric I thought that might be a worthy investment to help prevent some fatigue for Janita and costly mistakes as a result. It worked pretty well in the manner I hoped. Lesson 3, however, was in the old adage "Measure twice, cut once." Uh yeah, I mismeasured a few strips and cut them too small. Fortunately, I had enough extra fabric to cover my mistakes. Once the strips were cut I just sliced them into squares.


Here we see 2oo 6 inches squares of flannel cut from 2 of the fabrics. I only have 300 more 6 inch squares to cut and 100 11 inch squares to cut. Then the sewing begins. Stayed tuned to see how long it takes me to get all this done and how many more lessons I have to learn.

Finally, I leave you with a picture that is somewhat symbolic of how this project feels a little like a mountain to scale. I'm realizing how much work it will be and I'm a little nervous but also excited and anxious to look down from the summit of completion and say, "I did that!"