They enter slowly as she leans on his arm and her cane. We exchange greetings. He gently helps her remove her coat, sends her along with a "ladies first." Before they leave he smiles up at her as he works the zipper she can't manage. As they depart, I smile at the endurance of tenderness.
DA COUNT
I get to see this scene at work every week and I find it lovely every time. There are a few elderly couples who come in regularly and I'm always struck by the ones who exhibit a real gentleness and fondness for each other. It's a beautiful and hopeful thing.
There is another couple I also enjoy quite a lot. In this case it's the husband who requires the greater assistance and the wife who offers it lovingly. Nonetheless, he is an utterly shameless octogenarian flirt. One day he took my left hand to get my attention so he could tell me a story. As I listened he turned my hand over and patted the back of it. When he finished his tale he looked up mischievously and admitted, "I was looking for a ring, but you don't have one, too pretty not to be spoken for." I laughed and told him I am married but haven't worn my rings or wristwatch since I demolished my hand and arm a few years ago because they bother me and they don't fit my other hand. He feigned being crestfallen and I gave him a mild scolding as I pointed out how pretty and devoted his own wife is. He looked at me like I was nuts when I called her pretty. I said she has a face that only develops after a lifetime of smiling and it gives her the kind of beauty younger women can only aspire to. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her beam her radiant smile.
This week I'm counting the privilege of interacting with people like these on a regular basis. I don't know what their history holds but I'm grateful to be witness to the gentle and enduring love in their present.
Remember this little number I threw together as a last minute Halloween costume? Yeah, ok, so that was just a costume. Today I present you the real deal courtesy all those slides I scanned at Mom's last weekend.
Here I am in all my hideous, touristy geekdom during my first trip to Trinidad in 1989.
Seriously, could those sunglasses possibly be any bigger? We're not even going to mention the blouse. Someone get this girl some tie dye, stat!
In case you're curious, those things I am holding are a fruit called chennette. Groovy little things. You crack the skin open with your teeth and pop out a seed nearly as big as the skin but which is covered by a slimy film of fruit. Suck the pit clean and spit the it in the street. It all sounds kinda gross but the things are yummy with a faintly grape-ish taste to them.
[1]What's one thing that would instantly make you dislike a person? If they began stabbing me.
[2] What do you do when you need to relax? Plot the overthrow of Lichtenstein.
[3] Why do you think there is war in the world? Because human beings are greedy and violent.
[4] Do you think it's OK to sometimes tell lies? Yes, those jeans make your butt look positively elephantine. What's wrong? You're a completely self-absorbed jackass and one more minute in your presence is more than I can endure right now. No, I don't want to make one more call nagging the same patient to come in for the 12th time in 2 weeks but I will do it because it's part of my job description (which, by the way, was really very vague when you first gave it to me and admittedly I was too stupid to ask for clarification at that time) and you're the one who signs my checks. So, if the above responses are the honest ones you tell me if you think it's ok to be somewhat less than forthright.
[5] Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change? I like the good things to stay the same and the bad things to change.
[6] If someone liked you, what would be the best way to let you know? A simple declarative sentence either verbally or in writing is always effective. A hug would be awesome too.
[7] What are you listening to right now? A Dr. Seussian sort of parade marching through my living room playing "Louie Louie" on electric snozzwogglers and tartinkas.
[8] If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? Would it be enough to purchase Lichtenstein because that would save me a lot of coup planning and right now I could stand to have that pressure off me.
[9] Would it change your life? Well, it would change my address to one in Lichtenstein if it were enough.
[10] What was the last thing you purchased? A guy sold me the deed to Krakatoa last week. I have a sinking feeling I got scammed.
[11] What do you do when you're stressed out? I like to unwind in a vat of raspberry jello while listening to the dulcet strains of cats being stepped on.
[12] Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else? What parent wouldn't?
[13] Do you believe in Aliens? Well, since it is capitalized I assume you mean the Ridley Scott film, which was a sequel to Alien. Given that we own a copy of the movie I'd have to say yes, I believe the film exists. Whether or not I find the premise plausible is another matter entirely.
[14] Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you? I forgave him a long time ago. That doesn't mean I was willing to continue or resume the relationship.
[15] What's your greatest fear in life? That giant, slimy tentacled thing with fangs that's creeping out from under my desk right now.
[16] Do you have a best friend? I'm not really fond of superlatives in this regard. I have friends I'd trust with my joys, my heartaches, and my life. That makes me blessed.
[17] Are you afraid of death? The possible timing of it or the pain level associated with it maybe, what's on the other side not so much.
[18] Do you think parents should stay together for the kids? It's just that much more to clean up around the house if I start leaving bits and pieces of myself all over the place and really it's hard enough to get them to take their dirty dishes to the sink. Isaac dear, be a love and see if you can find Mom's arm in the couch cushions. Calypso, hon, please don't use my noggin as a bowling ball. I have enough trouble with migraines.
[19] Can money buy happiness? Oh I dunno, is happiness a small, affordable nation which would be easier to purchase than to overthrow?
[20] Are you looking forward to anything? Well gosh darnit, I just can't wait to log off the computer and get ready for work today! See also #4.
your employees are human beings with lives and needs beyond maximizing your profit. We are not merely overhead. We are not a resource to be consumed and discarded. You can't claim to be a healer when you are content to damage the health of employees while in the pursuit of the million dollar practice.
Long time readers of this blog know I did a regular feature called Trini Tuesday for the first year and a half I was blogging. Many of you are more recent readers and may not even know I lived in Trinidad for a little over a year. In fact, Calypso was born there. This weekend I visited my mom and since she has recently acquired a scanner which adapts to scan slide film I took a pile of slides down to convert into digital format. It's been forever since I got to look at some of these and they really provoked a lot of memories. I thought I'd share a few today.
For the sake of clarity, what you will see here is not representative of how most folks in Trinidad live but it is a level of poverty which is not at all difficult to find on the island. We lived in a middle class neighborhood in a concrete block house with electricity and running water (but no hot water heater). We found out the hard way it is not at all safe for Americans to live elsewhere. Many of the folks we worked with were squatters though. They had built their homes out of whatever scrap materials they could find or bought bits of lumber here and there as they could afford. They had no running water in the houses. Any electricity they had came from the ingenious use of car batteries, if they could afford a battery.
Join me for a trip out to the village to visit some friends.
Follow the highway out of one of the cities until the buildings become sparser and the vegetation denser. Turn off the highway onto a still paved road and find the water standpipe with a dirt road by it. No one out here owns a car so the road only has to be decent enough to walk. You can park yours at that first house on the left since you know the family and the road really isn't fit to drive down much farther. We'll stop and lime here a while before we head further in to the village.
No, the driving age in Trinidad isn't quite this young but Calypso was having fun climbing around once we parked.
Here's a little perspective on the house. Yes, it's leaning pretty heavily. It's built up on stilts to prevent flooding during rainy season. Farida and her six children moved here after her husband left them. She also shares it with her current partner. He disappears for long periods of time so when something needs repairing Farida needs to see if she can scare up the supplies and borrow some tools to fix things up as best she can. It may not look like much but Farida is proud of it and keeps it neat as a pin inside. The local paint companies give out free paint (the stuff not good enough to sell) near Christmas. She makes sure to get some so she can repaint each year. She also stitches up the holes in the furniture and sews new curtains if she can get some fabric. When you are 11 degrees above the equator the sun takes a fast toll on paint and curtain fabric. The front room is a kitchen and living room. The back is a bedroom with two mattresses. Sleeping quarters are tight. Privacy is barely existent. Without electricity there are no fans to run at night for relief and to blow the mosquitoes off you. You've got to shutter up those windows each night to keep bandits from coming in to steal what few things you have. You'd better hope you can afford a mosquito net and then keep it from ripping. The outhouse is in the back. Fortunately, since their house is closest to the road they have the shortest walk to the standpipe for water. Farida and the girls also like to keep the landscaping as nice as they can. You can see the trimmed hibiscus lining the walk to the front door.
This is one of Farida's daughters. Her daughters are beautiful and smart. Farida worries about their opportunities for education because of the cost of textbooks, uniforms and passage to school. One of the girls needs glasses too. She's probably the most promising student among the sisters but gets headaches when she reads. Taxis cost so much because they are so far on the outskirts of town. In this village it's a pretty common state to have to choose between buying food and paying taxi fare for your kids to get to school. Sometimes in big families, if they don't have enough school uniforms the children take turns going to school. One wears the uniform one day then the next day another child wears the uniform. No matter how smart you are it's hard to get ahead when you can't get to school regularly or afford your textbooks or concentrate through blurry vision or a hungry stomach when you do read them.
Before we go we take a picture of everyone who is home because we know it will be a long time before we get back this way again. We can't believe the way everyone has grown. A few years later when we went back the younger 2 kids were in school. Farida cried with joy to tell us her three oldest girls had finished school, had jobs, and were living in an apartment with electricity and running water. She was also very grateful they were helping with taxi fare, books, and uniforms for their younger siblings. Farida intends never to leave her house but she can't contain her happiness over the children who made it out of the village.
Growth isn't always easy. It's not always steady. Sometimes it comes in spurts and takes you by surprise when you notice it. Other times it is a slow march toward maturity and it's not until you pass a particular marker and look back that you realize it has occurred.
Calypso has had some fits and starts, like a lot of us do. At the beginning of the school year she commenced at a new high school, a charter school with a particular focus. The process to enter this school began when she was in 9th grade and came home with information about it and a declaration of her intention to make it into this school. Because of the timing of the application process she had already missed the dates of application and interview for her sophomore year. Last year she prepared extensively to make application for entry to two different departments in this new school. The reasoning was the increased competition for an upperclassman to gain entry. She figured if she cast her net a bit wider it might give her a greater opportunity.
We supported her preparations and found a professional "coach" in the area in which she was most interested. Calypso had to do the hard work because it was on her merit that she would either gain entry or not. We cheered her toward success but also tried to prepare her for the possibility of disappointment and that life would go on even if she were not invited to join this new school. Meanwhile, she was letting things slide way out of control back at her own school. She eventually realized we meant business in our expectations to work hard no matter where she was attending school.
There was also growing tension with the "coach." This tension built until one day, a mere two weeks before the final step in the process of application, the coach erupted in a display of anger, vitriol, and unprofessionalism which would have seen her removed from the classroom permanently had it occurred in a public school. Calypso was devastated and withdrew her application to that particular department. She went forward with application to the other department, in which she had still prepared but had far less experience. No amount of encouragement or reasoning could convince her to continue in the other department because of how ugly the scene with the coach had been. Nonetheless, the day for her final step in application came and a few weeks later we received word that she was the only upperclassman accepted to that department. We were proud of her for having pursued and achieved the goal she set for herself.
This school year she excitedly began at her new school with a newly stated intention of displaying a greater work ethic than in the past and and enthusiasm about the new opportunities. There were some disappointments big and small as well as some concerns about the lack of communication, but she continued to put forth her best effort. She knew she had a two year backlog of information in her department she needed to catch up on and she applied herself to doing that. There were hindrances put in her way and frustrations but she seemed to push forward whereas in past years she may have given up entirely. She has a tendency to start well and never finish.
I personally came to the conclusion that while there may be good content provided in the specific department she entered, the general academics were seriously lacking. Additionally the communication with the school was terrible. They were great about letting us know when the next fundraiser was but trying to get a teacher or administrator to return a call or email with regard to anything else was nearly impossible. I was willing to keep her in the school though if it were a good fit in other ways. It became evident it was not a particularly good fit in any way. The question became what to do about it.
The last day of school before Christmas break Calypso came home very sullen. The rest of the kids in the carpool were happily chattering about the holiday and Calypso just sank quietly into her seat. After everyone else was dropped off I asked Calypso what was going on and she burst out in tears begging not to go back to her new school after the holiday break. After she calmed down she and I were able to have a long heart to heart about all the reasons she felt that way. She was able to give a lot of clear explanations and answer a lot of questions she previously would have avoided or dismissed completely. The whole conversation had a far more mature tone to it than she's ever been able to maintain before.
We set the wheels in motion to re-enroll her at her old school. We talked about how far behind academically she may be because of the deficiencies in what was offered at the new school (amazing how good something can look on paper and how crappy it can be in reality, a lesson for both of us) and how much work she may need to put in to catch up. I heard her take responsibility for her classwork and results in a way she never has before and though talk is cheap and I've heard hollow promises before she convinced me that she meant business here. We talked about some of the social aspects she may face from people who may be inclined to say she came back because she just couldn't make it. In the past, the opinions others have of her have been something she has put far too much value in. She seems to have a new recognition of her own worth without regard to what petty people think. I am hopeful for her in a new way.
I think the most notable bit of growth has been her willingness to state without any coaxing that part of why she left in the first place was thinking the grass would be greener and she found out it wasn't. And yes, I knew all along there was a certain element of that in her original decision but it was good to hear her say it for herself. A person has to swallow a good amount of pride to make such an admission and be willing to return to face the old situation she sought to escape. It might have been easier in some ways to keep going away from it. So while some might regard what she's doing now as quitting I know she's not.
Yesterday she resumed classes at her old school. She came back home glad for the structure there which she had previously rebelled against. She reported with humor rather than tears about interactions with former thorns in her side. She listed with happiness the classes she has with teachers we know (and so does she) will challenge her mind. She had to take a somewhat longer route to value what she had in the first place and to see her own value as well but I think she's on the right track now. May she finish well.
The Grand High Exalted Mystic Empress Lime and Her Majesty the Queen are in alliance again to bring you a literary meme of great importance.
1.Find the nearest bookshelfof your favorite reads, cookbooks, tech books, magazines. It doesn't matter. This will work for all print media. If you don't have seven books lined up on a shelf, grab the first seven you see around the house. (I'm using the closest stack since I have many stacks. [Yeah, go ahead and make your jokes about how stacked I am.] It's a mixture of "recently read" and "to read" items.) 2. Book #1: Turn to page 21. Read the 21st sentence (you may have to turn the page). Write it down. 3. Do the samewith the first seven books or articles you see. The sentences will make a paragraph. You must write them down in the order you found them. 4. When you are finished, read over your "story" and title it. 5.Show us your bibliographyat the end of this meme.
The owner was away at the time and in his absence the place had become a sort of flophouse for those of his relations who could not be bothered, or were too drunk, to drive back out to Manganui. The list that was tucked away in his glove compartment itemized the things he still needed to buy in the morning before he carried out his plan. In my heart I feel little-scarcely any doubt of his preference. I talk with the surgeons, most of whom seem to think I'm part of the setup staff. Sixth-century Buddhist murals in the ancient caves at Ajanta depict women spinning and weaving by hand, much as they still do today. In 2001, curators interviewed Julia Child. Anyone out there reading this haiku journal, give this to my mom.
1. Come on Shore and We Will Kill and Eat You: A New Zealand Story by Christina Thompson 2. Think No Evil by Jonas Beiler with Shawn Smucker 3. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen 4. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach 5. Cotton: The Biography of a Revolutionary Fiber by Stephen Yafa 6. Smithsonian January 2010 "What to Collect?" by G. Wayne Clough 7. Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum
I think the argument could be made that the bibliography is every bit as weird as the resulting story. As for the wisdom bit, at 21 I was married, pregnant, and graduating from college magna cum laude...again with the weird combinations.
Yesterday, as you may recall, I shared the joy that was traveling to and from and attending a chiropractic marketing extravaganza. As bad as it was there was one really great thing about the day that made all that garbage worth it.
This past weekend was Diana's last at home before returning to college yesterday. I try very hard not to complain about work at home because it's not pleasant for anyone to listen to the griping plus I'd rather not carry the work related crap at home. However, my lack of enthusiasm about the all day conference requiring an obscenely early morning (sorry, Saturdays are for sleeping in as far as I see it) did leak out on more than one occasion. It was a well established fact at House of Lime that I had zero interest in the whole prospect partly because it was related to work and partly because it meant missing a big chunk of Diana's last weekend home.
Friday night I trudged off to bed at a respectable hour rather than staying up late to enjoy a movie with Diana as she had originally requested. Oddly, she began trying to hustle me off to bed somewhat earlier at one point. In fact, there was an exchange of text messages from her prompting me to do so because I was hindering her plans by staying awake. I inquired as to her plans and she shot back her intentions to have friends over to do drugs and have an orgy. So cute, that kid. Anyway, I acquiesced.
Morning arrived too quickly and I groaned my way out to bed and through my morning ablutions. After showering and dressing I figured to inhale some breakfast and be on my way in quick order. As I reached for the door knob of my bedroom door I noticed a note saying "Good Morning." I grinned a little.
Outside the door was a chair with another note on it with several small, bright Post-Its with arrows pointing at it. The note writer certainly understands how easy it is for me to miss details early in the morning. This note read, "#1 I know it's early but just go with it... Don't take a step until you at least fake a smile." I didn't need to fake it. I continued to follow the notes as they progressed down the hall.
#2 Keep looking for me --->
#3 I promise when you get home I will be packed up ----> (for several days my living room looked like it had thrown up as she emptied her bedroom contents into the living room for sorting purposes. I had expressed some amount of displeasure at her "organizing" technique.)
#4 Don't worry about dinner, I've got it covered. ---->
#5 Go to the kitchen---->
#6 I know you don't want to walk anymore just keep going. ---->
#7 LOOK! Chocolate for breakfast! YAY!!! :) (this note was on the counter between two loaves of chocolate chip bread and with a baggie of chocolate chips including instructions for melting them and drizzling them over the bread)
#8 EAT! and SMILE!! (I was smiling through tears. I really never expected this!)
#9 When you're done check out the fridge. ---->
#10 (on the door handle) I know, lots of reading really, really early but DEAL with it! :)
#11 (also on the handle) Open Me!
#12 (on my water bottle which was full) Who wants to be bored, tired AND dehydrated?
#13 (on a fully packed lunch bag) To keep your tummy happy on a low budget. (Inside was more chocolate bread, cheese balls, pretzels, ants on logs, carrots and broccoli with dip, 2 little gouda cheese wheels, and a bottle of fruit juice.
#14 (on the front pocket of the lunch bag which was labeled "Open in Case of Emergency") Be careful reading what's in here out loud, don't get in trouble! (The contents were quite amusing with more little notes on them but those items and notes I'll keep to myself since several were inside jokes)
By this time, I could hardly see through the tears. The encouragement meant so much. Even though I didn't really have the time to do so I savored the bread she made and took my time reading the notes because the amount of time, effort, and love she put into giving me that encouragement deserved my attention. By that time she had gotten off the couch to ask if I had gotten everything. I hugged her and thanked her many times over and she groaned through sleepy eyes and said she was going to bed. I smiled and headed out tot he garage where I found 2 more notes.
#15 TA DA!! :) I love you, make the most of the day.
#16 DRIVE SAFELY
After that kind of love and encouragement I knew I'd be able to tolerate whatever crap the day might hold. It was an unexpected gift that meant the world to me.
And I do mean WASTE, not as in laze about in a therapeutic manner but as in spend it doing something that has no real value.
1. Do not sleep in. Get up at 5:30 am so you can be to your office by 6:30 am in order to commute for 2 hours to a work related seminar in the vicinity of the Philadelphia Airport.
2. Pull into the parking lot and get into a compact car with 3 other coworkers for said commute.
3. Inform the driver and navigator of the easiest route (all highways) to your destination because you've been there many times. Have a coworker who has also been there many times corroborate your information.
4. Driver and navigator who have never been to the destination should ignore these simple directions that involve direct routes on highways in favor of printed out direction from Google Maps and use of a GPS.
5. Listen to the absurd directions given by Google and the GPS and repeat the simple directions with which you are familiar. Be told to hush the GPS knows best.
6. Do not spend whatever little amount of energy you have at this hour on a Saturday morning arguing. Wish them well, lay your head back, and tell them to wake you when we arrive.
7. Sigh deeply when the driver and navigator begin arguing about how to even get out of town.
8. Pass the trip drifting in and out of consciousness but awake just in time to hear the driver and navigator arguing over which turn to take. Watch as they turn off the highway and you spend the next half hour in some part of Philadelphia you never even knew existed. Eventually wind through the Mt. Airy section, plod along the SureKill Crawlway, follow signs for the Cargo City exit instead of the Airport exit when you finally see the airport because "that's what the GPS says to do." (Those few readers familiar with Philadelphia should try not to spew whatever you are drinking or eating through your nose. I don't want to be held responsible for the resulting pain or damage to your monitors. As an aside to my gentlemen readers, those of you who have ever been criticized by any woman for not stopping to ask for directions are guiltless in comparison to the 2 women in the front seat who put all of their trust in GPS and would not listen to the 2 women in the back seat.)
9. During this little tour of Philly, since the driver and navigator have told you not to interfere with what the GPS says, whisper softly to yourself mimicking Chevy Chase in European Vacation, "Look kids, there's the airport. Hey, there's the airport. Oh, look, there it is again."
10. Arrive at the airport and listen to the driver and navigator switch to an argument about where to park. Unfold yourself painfully from the backseat after finally parking. Witness the driver storm into the conference center cursing the navigator who is taking a smoke break.
11. Get your name tag and enter the seminar where the volume of music is shaking the walls. Be ushered by your boss to seats right next to the speakers.
12. Excuse yourself to the restroom and consider locking yourself in the stall for the day because you really won't miss anything, the volume is loud enough to still hear every word clearly. Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself there has to be at least one pearl of wisdom in this whole day. Re-enter the seminar room determined to find the one pearl but still wishing you had packed a flask.
13. Sit through 3 hours of presentations on marketing the business, not on the value of chiropractic, not on the latest research, not on patient education, not anything remotely inspiring or informative...marketing. Realize that even though your degree is in education, not business nor chiropractic, there is nothing even remotely stretching beyond basic common sense in the ideas presented. Even though everything is style over substance the slickest thing there is the hair of the guru who runs the whole thing. Pay close attention when the boss gives her manic, pacing, arm waving "inspirational" presentation during which she finds herself far funnier than anyone in the room does. Notice your ass is numb.
14. Break for lunch. Praise God thinking now you finally have a chance to stretch your legs. Become crestfallen when the boss informs you she arranged for a special consultation with the guru's business manager. Listen to the latest and greatest arm twisting techniques in how to rope a new patient into a 12 month care plan. Concentrate on controlling your gag reflex.
15. Return to the seminar room for the next 4 hours of ass numbing presentations on how to drum up more business. Ponder many things such as... a. how a room full of chiropractors can ignore the concept that sitting in a single spot for hours on end might not be great for anyone's spine b. how the next goal for patients per week at your office means each patient will get 1.67 minutes of time from the doc c. how much methane is produced by the number of people in the room d. how much money the slick haired guru is pulling in from this Amway style seminar scheme e. how long it will take blood flow to be restored to your own ass
16. During the final review on shakedown methods begin quietly mimicking the distinctive gestures of the people in the films to the amusement of the navigator. When the young associate chiropractor from your office starts doing the same thing correct her because she was using the gestures of the office assistant. Coach her in the gestures of the slick haired guru doctor. Practice in tandem with her doing guru gestures and you doing assistant gestures. This will at least prevent total mental breakdown even if it doesn't generate greater sales.
17. When it's all over and the boss asks if your first seminar was a good experience consider all the possible responses along the spectrum of lying through your teeth and being painfully honest. Opt for the neutral response of, "It was informative. I learned a lot." Do not specify what you learned. It's less likely to get you to get you fired than saying having your seminar cherry popped was less than gratifying since there was no foreplay, no lube, you didn't get your jollies, and there wasn't even a little cuddle after it all.
18. Listen to the bickering from the morning commute resume before ever reaching the car. Agree with the other backseat passenger to plans for mutiny should the driver and navigator disregard your collective wisdom for the return trip.
19. Get the driver out of the parking lot and onto the correct highway pointing home. Every time the GPS is mentioned threaten the former navigator with death.
20. Humor the driver, who is the newest associate chiropractor, when she asks specific questions about how to improve the office and reach the goals the boss has. When she shoots down everything you say give one counter argument then shut up because it's clear the discussion will go nowhere and quite honestly, you just don't care.
21. When the driver and navigator begin to argue about the specifics of the new financial arrangements for patients (because you and your co-mutineer took away their fun in having cartography as a source of argument material) realize your personal reserves for anything work related have reached EMPTY. Plug in your iPod and listen to Santana the rest of the way home.
22. Arrive at the office, get in your own car to drive home and arrive there by 8:30pm.
If you made it through this post here's your own little reward of Santana.
My husband keeps the bedroom at 50F. My station at work has a marble counter and is right by the building entrance. I'm very grateful for the things that keep me warm.
*Note to Phaedrous: I read your 2nd comment during breakfast. Do you know how painful it is to have Grape nuts come out your nose when laughing? Nonetheless, I am honored. I will be sure to bring more than just my summer scarf and parka.
*Note to Jocelyn: I love me some kayaking. I will need some instruction in the snowshoeing since I've never done that but I am eager. If by hefty porter you mean a strapping male Duluthian inclined to carry things I am all over that!
Last week when I posted that picture of me in my ear flap hat Jocelyn said, "You may think this isn't your most-flattering look, but I'm going to disagree. You look like a Duluthian, and you look like someone I'd hang with in Duluth. Seriously."
So, lacking any other inspiration I'm going Duluthian today. My car was in need to service so I dropped it off at the garage and walked 3 miles to work on one of the coldest days of the year. I used to do that on a regular basis all year round. It reminded me that I needed to get back to it if I am going to shed any of the weight I've packed on recently. I have to admit to being very bored with the only walking route option I have close to home so when Isaac missed the bus earlier this week and I had to drive him I wrapped myself up and kept driving after dropping him off so I could go walk someplace different.
So here I am in all my pseudo-Duluthian glory. Don't laugh. I was warm if not fashionable. Not much snow on the ground at the moment but it was about 10F and the wind was whipping.
"Imagine young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary."
The above quote is attributed to Miep Gies in the obituary posted on Yahoo. If you have ever read the Diary of Anny Frank you will recognize the name as that of the woman who, along with her husband, hid Anne's family and four other Jews from the Nazis for two years. Gies said when Otto Frank asked her to provide refuge she agreed because it seemed perfectly natural to do what was needed by people who were powerless at the time. She felt it was unfair that she received accolades when others had done far more than she had. Even into her late years she continued her efforts to refute those who deny the Holocaust.
Ordinary. Natural. Human duty.
I agree that we need not regard ourselves as heroes in order to chose what is right even when those around us are not. We must not allow that sort of thinking lead us to apathy toward our fellow man. However, I respectfully disagree on one point with Ms. Gies. When evil is great enough and an ordinary housewife finds it natural to perform her human duty in protecting the powerless from that evil even at great personal risk it is irrefutably heroic. Perhaps some did more, but when so many did nothing Miep Gies did her part to resist evil so it may not triumph by the inaction of good people. She did it gladly and without hesitation. May she rest in peace. May her reward be great.
Here I thought the less than stylish hat and glasses combo would be the most disturbing aspect of the image in the previous post. It seems I caused greater consternation/revulsion with my bowl of Reese's Puffs, which several of you said looked like dog kibble. Admittedly, it may not look too tasty but it is peanut butter and chocolate flavors in one bowl. It's hard to go wrong with that combo in my mind.
That said I will admit to another awful preference which you may find even worse. I got the Reese's Puffs because my first choice was not available. What I was really hungry for was a giant bowl of Count Chocula mixed with Frankenberry sitting in the milk until it was a soggy mess. I'll pause while you consider that.
On the rare occasion I indulge in Oreos I like to dip them in milk and hold them there until they are almost soggy enough to disintegrate. When I was a kid I used to like too pen them, scrape out the icing, ball it up, and save it to eat until after I had eaten the cookies.
That was also the age at which I used to stockpile chewing gum...after I had chewed it. Listen, my mom was unbelievably stingy with gum. I was allowed half a stick of trident at a time. What is that, maybe three molecules of gum? HALF A STICK, PEOPLE! How was I going to work up a decent bubble with that paltry bit of gum? I was forced to horde my ABC gum. No, I didn't keep it on my bedpost. I am not going to publicly admit where exactly I stored it.
Now it's your turn. I want to hear what strange flavor combinations you enjoy. Don't make up something revolting just for this. I want actual weird things you eat for pleasure or weird food habits you engage in that cause other people to question your sanity. You need more examples? Ok, my stepfather likes ketchup on ham and I once knew a person who liked tuna mixed with maraschino cherry juice.
Remember me mentioning running out in the middle of the night with Diana to get snacks and loosing the photographic evidence of our adventure. Well, here's a little hint. Just add a blearier look and bigger bags under the eyes and ill fitting sweatpants with really horrible slip on shoes. All so Diana could have cheese curls and I could have a giant bowl of Reese's Puffs.
It's a new year and everyone is looking forward. I'm going to take another trip in the Wayback Machine though. I recently demolished my cell phone. It was dying a slow painful death due to it's inability to hold a charge and one broken hinge on the flip top part of it. I unintentionally euthanized it when I dropped it on the hardwood floor while trying to stealthily sneak into my bedroom at 3:30 am after a middle of the night munchie run with Diana. Yeah, that's a story for another blog post. In fact I had pictures intended for the blog post but they were on the phone that got broken into a couple of pieces. See, I'm even thinking of all of you in the wee hours of the night when I am hungry....but I digress.
In any event, the breaking of the phone got me started on a rant about how things just aren't built to last these days and how my grandparents had this big, heavy black desk phone for about 50 years and the thing worked just fine all that time. If you are of a certain age (which I apparently am since I am writing about this thing) you know what I am talking about, one of those phones you could brain a burglar with and knock him out cold. Try beating a burglar with you iPhone and see what happens. Nothing of value, I tell you. You'll get a broken phone and a burglar who laughs at your feeble attempts to deter him. If for no other reason than as a weapon of self-defense we should all still have those hernia inducing desk phones. Again, I digress.
After pondering the desk phone of old I then mused about my other grandmother's job. She was a switchboard operator for about 30 years or so. How many of you remember switchboards? Ok, so a number of my readers are my age or older and presumably recall these things or at the very least recall Lily Tomlin doing her Ernestine schtick. On occasion my mother would take us to visit Nana at her job. I was always completely amazed by how Nana could have a conversation with us, answer several calls, know where to plug in all those cords, and never miss a beat. I was pretty sure she must be some special kind of genius to be able to keep all that straight. My grandfather always said it was the perfect job for her because (here comes another very dated phrase) she was "vaccinated with a phonograph needle."
So now that I've taken my little trip, tell me, what sorts of technologies or ways of doing things or old phrases which have gone the way of the dodo do you remember?
Secret Agent Woman did an amusing wrap up of her previous year by making a paragraph the first lines of the first post she did for each month. Here's my paragraph.
My best friend's sweet pea made her entrance on Tuesday. It's the day after the Super Duper Bowl. This year Calypso has taken Drama 1 and Drama 2 as electives at school. What do you do when you are devoid of genuine inspiration? I haven't done this in 19 years. The lack of balance continued through a considerable portion of the weekend. Before I resume the job hunt in earnest I am taking a few days to park myself in the sand with a stack of books. When I was small my mother allowed me to use her old sewing machine once she replaced it with a new one. Over the weekend I was visiting some old friends in a town where I used to live. Here we have me in my rain burqa over backpack finery as I cultivate the hunchback look. As I was driving along to do my carpool duties I noticed how lovely the weather was. This is an asthma inhaler.
S.A.G. also gave a synopsis of each month. I don't think I'll do that but I'll add links to the first original picture (not counting reposts of pictures I took at other times) I posted each month.
As I said I won't synopsise each month because I don't really have time at the moment but just in going back over each month briefly to find these links I noticed so much support from so many of you during the really difficult parts of this year. The other day I was also speaking with someone about the aftermath of the concussion/car accident and I remarked how for several weeks face to face conversation was a real challenge at times because I couldn't find words and sometimes had a hard time keeping up with people. That was a very disconcerting situation. Writing for a blog post, however, came easier because I could do it at my own pace. I felt that continuing to post during my recovery helped me have some confidence that I hadn't completely destroyed part of my intellect because it gave me tangible evidence of being able to string words together with a reasonable level of coherence.
2009 had a fair amount of frustration and difficulty but it also had faithful friends for whom I am so grateful. I got to meet a few of you in person, which was a great joy. I continued to develop friendships with others of you, which was a great comfort not just in a sense of easing trials but also in just having deepening connections. I've been blessed to have some extended family relationships deepen this year too. And I found a whole new value in blogging as it served to help me regain facility with language after too many hard hits to the head. Good stuff, all. I'm very grateful as I count it.
I long ago gave up making New Year's Resolutions because I got tired of kicking myself when I failed to keep them after the first week of January. Last year Isaac resolved to keep his room clean. To his credit he was quite consistent about it until October when I made him start doing his own laundry. Ten months is fairly impressive in my book, especially where teenagers and clean rooms are concerned.
This year it seems my children have gone a step further in the whole resolution business and not only made resolutions but entered into contractual agreement regarding the cleanliness of their respective rooms. Allow me to share the contract they drew up and then presented to me requesting I witness their signatures and affix my own.
I, _________, hereby agree to the Clean Room Contract and all of its rules and regulations listed below.
I must keep room clean from January 4, 2010-January 4, 2011. x____
First person to dirty said room must adhere to the consequences listed below.
I must relinquish my cell phone to the winner for one hour. x____ When winner has received the phone they may do with it what they will, restricted by the following:
No breaking the phone
No inappropriate use of the phone (texts, pics, etc)
No deleting anything from the phone (texts, contacts, etc)
No hiding said phone after one hour of winning x_____
Exceptions
You may have a slightly disorderly room for two days at a time but no more than three times.
Grace periods may not be consecutive
Calypso's bean bag chair may be used as a clothing tree, but it must look neat x_____(C only)
Definitions
The mother of the house shall determine what "slightly disorderly" looks like. x_____(mother only)
