Friday 55-Snow More!/Da Count-Snow Less!

FRIDAY 55

The thermometer hit 70 degrees.

I threw open the windows.

I rejoiced to hear the spring peepers.

I went without a coat.

The equinox arrived...

And left quickly.

The mercury plummeted.

I cranked the heat back up.

I'm pretty sure the frogs froze to death.

I reached for my scarf and mittens.

It's snowing...

AGAIN!

DA COUNT

I really was overjoyed when Spring began to hit at it's arrival but it was a mere tease 2 weeks ago.  Winter reared its ugly head again.  March came in like a lion and was determined to go roaring out the same way.  As I write this post it's snowing with predictions of 5-10 inches.  I am less than thrilled.  Yes, this all sounds more like a lament than a count.  I'm going to count that it's April...in the northern hemisphere.  That has to mean something, right?  Spring has to return soon, doesn't it?  It's April...it's going to be warm soon...

Slice of Lime-Back in Action!

When I started this blog over 5 years ago I had a film camera and used to get the rolls of film developed along with a CD of digitized images.  I decided to wade into the digital camera world and bought as versatile a point and shoot as I could afford.  I was converted immediately and used that camera hard.  Well over a year ago my old computer stopped playing nice with my camera so even though I could still take pictures, sharing them was a challenge.  Then my camera died completely and I have only had the sad little lens in my phone.  Mind you I am grateful I had that much for the sake of not missing things like birthdays or spontaneous silliness but I have sorely missed being able to take nice pictures.  I may not be as gifted as Hilary is with a lens but I was learning and I enjoyed playing.  I've been saving little by little that whole time and I got a nice bit of change or my birthday back in October and again for Christmas.  I set it all aside to be able to get a nice digital SLR.  I played around with different cameras, researched the features, kept looking for deals.  I settled on the model a while ago and last week found a sweet deal.

I am sooooo excited.  This week I have to cover for another girl at work who is off so I have less time than usual to play with my new toy (and Lord have mercy, there is a time crunch these days anyway!).  But here, for our viewing pleasure is the first original Slice of Lime in over a year, not taken with my phone or by someone else. 

My Canon and Me*

Woohoo!!!!

Now she just needs a name...

*Yes, I'm in my tatty old bathrobe in my bathroom mirror so it's hardly an auspicious beginning but hey, it's like Christmas morning when you have your jammies on.  Who goes and dresses up before playing with a new toy?

Dress Meme Up

It's been a while since Empress Lime and Queen Mimi collaborated.  Given this week's topic I'm not sure what the poor queen will think but here goes...

Welcome to the Queen's Meme

#76

11 Royal Questions on Tuesday

The Prissy Meme

1. What is your favorite lipstick color and why?
 Chartreuse, it's attention getting, no?


2.  How long does it take you to get ready to go to work in the morning?
You asking about just personal grooming time or about the taxiing duties, dinner prep prior to a 10 hour day, feeding of myself, waiting for hot water tank to fill up after 2 teens drain it, packing of lunch, and heck even the necessary stretches required to sufficiently lubricate the joints of one overly abused body in order to move through all those activities before I can even attend to personal hygiene?

3. Do you have your nails professionally done? Mani? Pedi?
I thought being nailed professionally was only legal in Nevada.  That's a bit far for me to go since I live on the East Coast.

4. Tell us about your latest spa experience - real or imagined.
Last item on this list.

5. Is there something you'd like to change about your appearance? Would you ever have cosmetic surgery? I'd like to be appearing in Hugh Jackman's embrace.  Cosmetic surgery?  I don't even own make-up and refuse to dye my hair.  Are you smoking crack to ask me that?

6. How do you take care of your skin?
I take it off and hang it to air out each night.

7. Tell us your secrets for vibrant, shiny, healthy-looking hair.
Polyacrylic laminate


8.  What is your favorite fragrance?
 Arousal

9.  Everyone has a certain color they love to wear. What is yours?
Have you ever LOOKED at my avatar here?

10. Do you have ink?
Do I look like a squid?


11.  How would you describe your personal style?
Flipping off the fashion industry

The Elephant in the Room

Setting: Condo living room where four couples are socializing after dinner.

Characters:
Couple 1: Art & Annie
Couple 2: Bob & Betty
Couple 3: Cal & Connie
Couple 4: Don & Dora
Couple 5: Ed & Ellie




Connie: Who's ready for some dessert?  Why don't I go get it ready..

Cal: Let me help you carry plates, dear.


(They exit)

Art: Why the hell is she worrying about dessert?  There's a damn elephant sitting on the coffee table or haven't the rest of you noticed?

Annie: (sweetly) Well, now, it's her elephant and her coffee table. It would have been rude to mention it. I'm sure she'll take care of it in good time. Don't get upset about it.

Art: I'm supposed to eat dessert off a table the elephant's ass is covering???

Betty: (getting up and looking around) I wonder where she keeps the cleaning supplies.  I could clean up the table while she gets the cake.  Well, if someone can get the elephant to move, that is...(continues searching)

Bob: (amused) You might want a shovel first.  I think the elephant is getting ready to poop.

Annie: (worried) Oh, dear...


Don: This is no ordinary pachyderm, you know.  This is a rare opportunity.  Few people have the chance to enjoy such an amazing creature.

(Dora nods admiringly at Don)

Art: Rare opportunity my ass!  It's a fucking elephant and it took a dump on the rug!

(Annie shrinks in mortification at Art's boldness)

Betty: (returning with rubber gloves, a bucket, and disinfectant)  Ok, let's get cracking.  Art, Bob,
Don, I need you to give a good heave to get the elephant out of my way so I can start cleaning up.

Bob: (chuckling again as he walks toward the elephant) Mind if I take the front end?  I'd like to avoid any more of what came out the back end a bit ago.

Art: Hell if I'm getting a hernia trying to move that thing.  It's Connie and Cal's elephant.  Let them move it and clean up after it. 

Don: No need to get upset.  It's a trained elephant.  I helped Connie and Cal get it here all the way from India.  I'm looking to grow an elephant import business.  Just need the investors to help supply the capital.  Say Art, you're a man of means.  I can double whatever you'd care to invest...

(Betty scrubs at the carpet furiously.)

Art: Fuck off, Don.  You're as full of shit as Dumbo's bowel was a few minutes ago.

Annie: (attempting to placate) Dear, just take a deep breath.  I'm sure when Connie and Cal come back they'll get the elephant out of the room.  If not, we'll find a way to manage.

Dora: Connie makes very lovely cake.  I hope it's carrot...

(Connie and Cal return with several plates of sliced cake.)

Connie: (stopping dead in her tracks in the doorway before shouting) What is going on in here?!

Betty: (without looking up) I thought I'd save you the trouble and try to get the spot out of the carpet but I can't move the elephant.

Annie: It's ok, Connie.  Don't worry.  We don't mind the elephant.

Art: Speak for yourself.  If I wanted to eat with the elephants I'd go to the damn zoo and climb in the enclosure!

Bob: (with another laugh) I dunno.  It's kind of fun.  I sure never had dessert with an elephant before.  Hope he likes the cake!

Don: Connie, tell them how I imported the elephant...

Connie: (red faced and indignant as she throws down the plates she is carrying) THERE IS NO ELEPHANT!!!!  I can't believe you'd even suggest such an absurd thing!  What kind of people come to someone's home when invited and show such nerve!  I never...

Dora: (murmuring glumly)  There goes the carrot cake.  I was so looking forward to it.

Cal: (setting down the plates he is carrying and approaching Connie tentatively) Sweetheart, calm down.  They didn't mean anything.  Now come sit down and relax.

Connie: (in complete fury)  I will not sit down and relax when people are accusing me of having an elephant in the room!!!  The gall!

Art: Are you out of your mind?  Dumbo took a shit right on your carpet!  If you are going to pretend that didn't happen I'm going to start giving him prune juice followed by an appropriately sized enema.  Then maybe you'll be forced to do something about it.

Annie: Dear, maybe she's just not ready or doesn't know how.  It's not her fault.

Betty: (exasperatedly peeling her rubber gloves off) Well, if Connie isn't going to do anything and Art's going to give the beast diarrhea I'm not going to keep scrubbing.  Let's go, Bob.

Bob: (still smiling) Well, it's been interesting. G'night, all.

Connie: (insane with rage) NO ONE IS GOING ANYWHERE!! I MADE CAKE!!!

Dora: Is there any left?


(Cal hands Dora one of the plates he had been carrying.  Bob and Betty leave.)

Don: (reaching for another of the intact plates) I believe I'll have some too.  I've got a great cake supplier on the East Coast but I wouldn't mind expanding that business venture.  Say Cal, maybe you and Connie would like to be my Southern suppliers.  It would just require a bit of investment.

Annie: (trying to pick shards of broken plates off the floor) Let me just get this out of the way so no one gets cut on it...

Connie:  STOP IT!  ALL OF YOU STOP IT AND EAT THIS CAKE I MADE!  THERE IS NO ELEPHANT AND I RESENT THE SUGGESTION!!!!

Art:  (gruffly) Annie, we're done here.

Annie: (sheepishly depositing a handful of broken china on an end table) Connie, Cal, thank you for having us.


(As Art and Annie reach the door to leave they encounter Ed and Ellie, who heard the ruckus from across the hall and thought they should check in.)

Art: Word to the wise...circus tickets.

Ed: (knowingly) Oh no...

Ellie: Huh?


(Ed and Ellie step through the door to see broken dishes and cake on the floor, Don and Dora eating in the corner, an elephant relieving itself on the coffee table, and Cal trying to console a hysterical Connie.)

Ellie:  Good Lord, what happened in here and who let the elephant in?

(Connie wails at mention of the elephant and mess.  Ed tries to grab Ellie's arm to drag her out of the room.)

Ellie: (protesting) Ed, Connie and Cal need some help here.  Connie, does the elephant have a leash?

Connie: (whizzing a plate at Ellie) THERE...IS...NO...ELEPHANT!!!!!

Ed: (ducking back out to the hall as fast as he can) Every man for himself...

(Ellie stands in the doorway incredulous at the scene)
(Fade)

Friday 55-Unsettled

FRIDAY 55

 I feel like...

I have a pebble in my shoe.

One bra strap is twisted and the other keeps slipping off my shoulder.

My underwear is creeping up on me.

My socks are sagging around my ankles.

My bangs keep falling into my eyes.

My glasses keep sliding down my nose.

I am uneasy,

restless,

unsettled.

Where Did Spring Go???

Last week this time I was smiling over the song of spring peepers in the swamp.  The next day it hit 70 degrees and I threw open the windows to air out the house. Then snow/ice/slop fell from the sky on Monday.  Then more fell today. I'm officially fed up with winter.  I've done way too much ranting on this blog lately so instead of bitching about the weather I'm going to re-run a spring post with lots of lovely things to look at and get me through these last miserable days of winter weather.  I hope anyone else who is sick to death of winter weather is also warmed.

 I was in great need of some evidence of spring so I went in search this weekend. Here's what I found around town and in the yard.

Some sort of ornamental tree in my yard.

Azalea bud.

Some tree near the baseball field. (Yeah, I'm a regular botanist. "This specimen is known as Limus Ignoramus Pinkia.")

Bluebells in my yard. (Now watch someone tell me that's not the real name.)

Dogwood (Its bark is worse than its bite. Har har har.)

Forsythia (Mini poll here...do you believe forsythia should be trimmed into some docile shape or allowed to get wild and bushy looking? I favor the wild look, Mr. Lime wants obedient shrubs.)

Fern frond. I had a hard time deciding which fern shot to use. I have another one with multiple fronds looking like they are dancing. This one looks like a "come hither" invitation. That's my mood right now, so that's the one ya get.

Bleeding hearts.

Lilacs

A fine example of Limus Ignoramus Blanca.

A Note

I think the Super Full Moon has brought the looniest patients out in droves this week.

Dear Patients,

Most of you are wonderful people who I genuinely enjoy seeing.  There are a few of you who get on my last nerve though.  Today it seems all the crazy ones came en masse.  I'd like to remind you of a few things.  There is only one of me.  I'm the only one at the front desk.  This means you may have to wait your turn from time to time when things are busy.  I don't know how you got past kindergarten without learning to take turns.  Oh, and for those of you who called, please keep the call as brief as possible.  Save the gory details for the doctors.  They need to hear it.  I don't.  I need to schedule you, hang up, and deal with the line of people waiting for me in person. 

That said, to those of you who walk in without calling to make an appointment, would it kill you to pick up the phone first?  I mean really.  If your treatment plan includes multiple therapies it's a colossal pain in the neck (pun intended) for you to just waltz in an expect to be treated.  It also tries my patience when you get uppity about having to wait or not being able to see the massage therapist when you gave no advance notice.  Perhaps you'd like me to suggest stacking patients 2 deep on the massage table?  Or may I perform your therapies? (throws head back in a maniacal cackle)

To those of you with children, the waiting room is not a playground.  The therapy equipment is not for climbing, throwing, or tormenting one's kid sister.  And when I do,  I'm only smiling when I tell them to settle down because I am fantasizing about hanging them from the gym equipment by their belt loops and feeding them excessive amounts of sugar before sending them home, not because I think they are charming.

Finally, with regard to payment...Yes, we actually expect you to pay when service is rendered.  Shocking, I know.  I'm sure when you go to the grocery store or to get your hair cut or oil changed that all those places smile sweetly when you want to walk out the door without paying.  And seriously, there are a few of you who argue with me every damn time about how your insurance works in an attempt to scam the system.  If I've explained it, the biller has explained it, the doctor has explained it, and a rep from the insurance company itself has explained it just knock it the hell off already and pay your damn bill!  It's not going to change just because you don't like the answer we all give you.  Playing dumb doesn't cut it.  It just irks the shit out of us all. 

Personally, I'd like to institute a non-billable fee for dealing with your nonsense day in and day out.  Payable directly to me so I can afford to go hang out on the beach and have a cabana boy bring me refreshing drinks and a masseur to work out all the kinks in my neck from dealing with the stupidity of some of you.  I'll invite the cooperative patients to join me.

Grouchily,
Lime

Word Verictionary

 Ever notice how some of the word verifications are almost like real words?  Sometimes they just beg to be defined, or maybe I just lack any real ideas.  Either way, here are some I am defining.  Feel free to offer your own definitions in the com.

Orlness: a quality one develops after consuming excessive amounts of synthetically based foods or buying into political double-speak.

Oveludi: the newest dance craze, a fusion of the polka, classical Indian dance, and square dancing, which is done to the music of slide whistles and didgeridoos.

Glermica: a pudding made from the insides of those silica gel packets you find in everything from shoeboxes to pill bottles.

Plyske: a spade like tool used by politicians for shoveling their particular brand of bovine excrement or for stirring glermica,

Munness: the quality exhibited by an exceptionally boring lecturer or filibustering politician.

Ateraph: a little known Pharaoh whose sole achievement was the ill-fated construction of a pyramid of camel's milk cheese.

Sperhum: the retching sound made by crowds assembled to celebrate a pyramid of camel's milk cheese in the middle of the Egyptian desert.

Fluddy: torrential blithering.

Peranics:  the teachings of a newly emerged religious cult which requires adherents to dance the Oveludi in celebration of the life of the great Prophet Hyphert.

Hyphert:  cult figure revered for his great dance moves.

Phalf: the word denoting the contents of my brain which are responsible for such a fluddyrific post.

Pros & Cons of the Weekend

I survived the retreat.  In the interest of ending on a positive note I'll start with the cons.

Cons:

1. A speaker who seemed to enjoy introducing hot button topics not to encourage discussion but in order to bludgeon with her opinion.

2. Having to get up early.

3. The same undercurrent of Stepford Wife attitudes that drove me away years ago.

Pros:

1. Not having to clean up after anyone but myself.

2. Having time for some really excellent and deep conversations with "Thelma."

3. Not having to cook all weekend or wash a single dish.

4. Not having to be the taxi driver.

5. Having time to think without every thought being interrupted by some urgent demand.

6. Hugs.

7. Being reminded of some important things.

There were a number of reasons why I didn't want to go.  Among them was that it felt like one more demand (to conform) being placed on me and quite honestly, I am weary of that right now with all the pressing needs I have to deal with every day. I didn't have the energy to deal with a crowd of women. I had no desire to be asked all weekend about how things are going with the continuing medical drama in my house even though I know the questions were motivated by care and concern for the most part.  Being asked for updates just highlights how many unanswered questions still remain. 

All that said, it worked out.  I got some rest.  I enjoyed time with Thelma.  I was given some good food for thought.  Oh yeah, I strapped into a harness and flew through the air at 30 mph after Thelma helped hoist me up about 3 stories.  No gin was consumed in the execution of that adventure.

Friday 55 & Da Count- A New Partner in Crime

 FRIDAY 55

So, I've been asked to come be your roommate.

You gonna do it.

Yes, but only because I like you, not because I want to go.

I don't want to go either.

Then let's bag it and go do something else.

We can't do that!

Sure we can!

Nah, we'll go...wonder if we can bring gin...

DA COUNT

The above conversation was between the new youth pastor's wife and myself regarding a women's retreat this weekend.  I've successfully avoided it for the last 3 years.  Once upon a time it was a source of encouragement but, in my opinion, it became more of an exercise in forced conformity after a while so I stopped attending.  Every year I have more women on the planning committee attempt to convince the prodigal to return.  Every year I tell them thanks but no thanks.  This year they ratcheted things up a notch by telling me the new lady needs a roommate and since I'm the one person she is close to shouldn't it be me?  Feh, I loathe your attempt at manipulation.  But I spoke to her and suggested since I've been told I ought to "minister to her needs" who says I have to do it at the retreat.  We can take off somewhere else, right?  She loved the idea but has obligations.  Ok, I understand.  But how much do I love that she's the one who came up with the idea of taking a flask?  No, we won't really do that but we will be stirring the pot a bit.  And I like that we get each other.  I haven't had that readily accessible in my 3D world for a long time and she is missing it sorely after moving all the way across the country and feeling like she landed on Mars.  I still don't want to go to this thing and neither does she but at least we can go hang out together and maybe get into some minor trouble together.

Rest

The Bible says even God rested on the 7th day after creating the universe and all it contains.  I don't feel guilty for needing one if even the Creator saw fit to do so.  It seems frequently my need and the demands around me are at odds.  This is even more the case in the last couple of months.

I don't work today...well, not for a paycheck anyway.  Right now I am blogging from bed.  I'm awake but not willing to get up yet.  Once I'm vertical my day will be driven by paying bills, doctor's appointments, phone calls arguing with insurance companies and billing departments, running the mom taxi, laundry, and the list goes on.

I ran across this simple site and followed the directions .  In fact, it's still playing in the background as I lay here.  It reminded me of the best night's sleep I ever got.  It was during the bicycle trip I was on the summer of 1987 when a group of us went from East Coast to West Coast in 65 days. (If you're interested go to the archives from the summer of 2007.  I posted a new chapter every Tuesday.) One night we slept on top of a cliff along US-1 in Big Sur, California.  We rolled out our bags under some tall trees and slept on a cushy bed of evergreen needles.  We fell asleep to the sound of the ocean and woke to the same.  It was blissfully relaxing.

So anyway, I am taking a breather for a few minutes and sharing it with you in case you need it.  Tell me how you define rest and what was your best night's sleep in the comments if you'd be so kind.

How to Avoid Pre-DawnTaxi Duty

1. Drag yourself out of bed at 5:30am.

2. Put on ugliest sweats you own, pull your stroobly hair into a ragged ponytail, put on your Peruvian Duluth Winter hat to contain whatever the ponytail does not. 

3. Don't forget your glasses.  It's important to be able to see well.

4. Groan as you bend to tie your sneakers.

5. Search for car keys.

6. Stagger out to the car.

7. Nearly run over the garbage can at the end of the driveway as you back out to the road at 5:45am.

8. Torment your passenger with NPR when he'd rather be listening to some gawd awful Ozzy Osbourne crap.

9. Take his least favorite route to work because there are fewer traffic lights and you hate traffic lights.

10.  Stay alert to potential hazards.  In fact, when a car pulls out of a lot and into the oncoming lane slam on the brakes HARD because you're sure a dog is running out from behind that car.  Realize the "dog" is merely a large cloud of exhaust.

11.  When passenger asks if you were falling asleep at the wheel reassure him that you are awake, you were merely hallucinating.

12. Continue to destination where you offer a good-bye kiss even though you still have morning breath.  Wish your passenger well as he walks twitching and muttering into his place of employ.


Follow these simple steps and your passenger will eagerly find other rides allowing you to sleep blissfully...until one of your kids barges into your room announcing he missed the school bus.

So in the last week...

I've unexpectedly been many days without propane tanks for cooking or back up heat.

We've run out of wood pellets for the main source of heat.

I've had my job security threatened.

The basement has flooded twice.

I've had a car refuse to start.

I've had 2 more claims denied by various insurance companies.

The water heater crapped out.

I found out I have tendinitis.

It's been real groovy.

But at least I have electricity, running water, a solid home, and my family is safe, which is more than can be said of so many people in Japan.  Nothing like a bit of perspective to function as a kick in the pants.

It is heartbreaking to see what has occurred there.  My prayers and hopes are with the suffering.

Consoling Myself

Well, it's Fastnacht Day and I can't make any fastnachts because I don't have a functioning stove.

It's Carnival Tuesday in Trinidad and i can't be there enjoying the sun and music.

I'm just going to console myself by staying in bed this morning and playing with my new laptop.

Overheard at Work

A couple recent snippets...

I have a particular coworker, TherapyGirl who has some rather fussy eating habits.  She doesn't like strawberries or blueberries because they have itty bitty seeds, so you know raspberries are right out.  She won't eat caramel because she doesn't like how it coats her mouth.  She detests trail mix because all the ingredients touch each other.  She likes all the individual components of  nuts, dried fruits, seeds, chocolate bits.  She just hates them mixed.  Ditto for other mixes like Chex Mix even though , again, she likes all the ingredients.

She and MassageGirl like to send friendly zingers back and forth about their respective foibles.  The most recent exchange that cracked me up went like this.

TG:  I can't cut my apple with a plastic knife!  Where's my good knife?

MG: Why do you need to cut it?  Just bite into it.

TG: I don't like to bite into apples.  I never know what to do with my upper lip.

MG: Gets juice and stuff in your moustache, huh?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Later on in the same day a patient came in and shared a bit of wisdom with us.  "Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now it's your turn to share.

What weird food habits do you have?

What food is life like in your opinion?  And no, you may not say it's like a box of chocolates.

Friday 55-Celestial Romance

 Old man Moon

kept watch over

the lovely Venus

as she roamed

the universe.

He waited 

for her,

broke into a grin

when she wandered

close enough.

She brightened

when she saw him,

lingered a bit,

settled in close

to share secrets in the dark.

Together 

they winked knowingly

at Earthbound souls

who spied them.

*image from here

It was an earlier night this week when I saw the conjunction and grinned.

Slice of Lime & Da Count-My Girl

 Last weekend Calypso came to me as I was cooking dinner, put her arms around me, and just wanted a long hug.  I was more than happy to indulge her.  It's not often a teenager asks for a hug.  Then she started to sniffle on my shoulder and I asked what was wrong.  She sobbed a little and said she really wants to do the year long internship she's been hoping for and she really wants to go to college but she really doesn't want to leave home because she's going to miss me.  I felt a  bit of a lump in my throat.  If all things were as they should be and she were in good health I'd have no real reservations about her heading out into the world.  I'd be excited for her far more than missing her.  I want her to pursue her dreams out in the world but I'd be lying if I didn't confess to a significant amount of concern for her physical well-being though I don't want to convey to her a sense of her being insurmountably weak.  I just listened and reassured her that wherever she went and whatever she did she'd always have a mom to come back as long as I'm living. Then I wiped up her tears and told her it's normal to feel uneasy before such a big transition, even more so given what she has been through this year.

Flash forward a few days...Calypso has been posting a different photo each day over on her Facebook page.  It's a meme-ish sort of thing with each day intended to represent something else about the people doing it.  This week I came home and found I'd been tagged in one of her posts with the following notation and picture:

[09] Share a picture of the person who has gotten you through the most:

It was close with a couple other people too, but in the end, she's my mama ♥

It's been such a hard road for her this year.  We still don't have answers for her as to why she is so ill, though we continue to seek.  She has persevered admirably in ways I would not have anticipated.  I've been so proud of her.  Seeing that on her FB page reassured me that she gains of support from me even though I so often feel so helpless to make things better for her.  Yep, it was my turn to cry then.

Forgive me...

...another rant.  Feel free to come back tomorrow if you're not in the mood for bile.

I love my job and the people I work with.  I still hate insurance companies. 

I hate that a man in excruciating pain who wants to avoid surgery has a $10,000 deductible and cannot afford to follow the treatment plan that may help him escape the scalpel.  Seriously, what cold-hearted SOB writes a policy with a deductible that size and then charges $500 a month for it?

I hate that someone else who we couldn't help avoid surgery has been crawling around in excruciating pain for TWO MONTHS waiting for her insurance to approve her surgery.

I hate when a patient who has truly good coverage bitches about having to pay a $15 copay ONCE every 12 visits when they've pulled up in the parking lot in a nice car and they come in wearing the latest styles.

I hate that insurance companies will pay for me to take a $35 pill that gives me nasty side effects when I get a migraine but they won't pay for a $35 visit to the chiropractor (that's far more effective and doesn't make me feel sick in new and exciting ways) for me or anyone else who gets a migraine.  (But again, I love that I work for my chiropractor and can be adjusted any time I need it as a benefit.  Thank you, boss!!!)

I hate that when I need to call my company I sit on hold for eons before I get to someone who lies to me.

I hate coming home at the end of a long day of dealing with all the fussy technical ways visits have to be posted and double-checked to meet some asinine insurance regulations so our biller can jump through all the flaming hoops the companies set up (though I love that she does her job so well and gives me the answers I need to do my job in a way that facilitates hers) only to find yet another rejection letter from my own insurance company (take your pick, dental, auto, or medical...I have outstanding claims with all sorts of stupid reasons for denials in each one of those policies) after having gone through the fussy technical dance to get it my claim paid.

It's just a great way to end the day.

No rant tomorrow, I promise.