That Bitch, Irene

I'm posting this after hours at work before I head home to a house that thus far has been without power and water for 38 hours.  We've been told that situation is unlikely to improve any time soon.  At least we don't still have water coming into the basement and everyone is unharmed.  I'm glad at least it's not 90 degree heat or the dead of winter.

I'm a bit cranky, hungry, tired, and smelly.  I'll be back when i'm in a better mood, more well rested, and smell more pleasant.

Da Count-Ascent

Anyone who has read this blog in the last year knows Calypso struggled terribly with her health this past year. Around Easter she was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease (oh, the irony) and began treatment. IT took quite a while before she really began to feel much better. The process was initially hindered by a truly crazy physician who I believe preys upon families who are desperate to do anything to make a loved one better when every other doctor has given up. It was a damn hard year, and that was only dealing with Calypso's medical situation and trying to help her graduate on time. Consistent readers may well remember how the universe just seemed to pile on crisis after crisis.

I've said it before and I'm saying it again today. I am profoundly grateful that Calypso is regaining her health and she is able to move forward in her life. Tomorrow (barring disaster related to Wicked Irene) we will be taking her a camp about three hours away where she will be involved in a nine month cross-cultural training, service-oriented program. Two days after we drop her off she heads out to Colorado to commence with the team-building exercise of backpacking in the Rockies for four days.

Three months ago, even though we had a diagnosis and what seemed like an effective treatment, I never would have dared to hope she'd be well enough to do this. I wasn't concerned about Calypso's sense of determination. She demonstrated this past year that she has what it takes to gut through tremendous adversity. I just didn't know if her body would be recovered sufficiently from a year of disease and atrophy to allow her to physically gut through.

This summer she was working to build up strength and stamina again. We are fortunate enough to live within decent distance to the Appalachian Trail and Mr. Lime is an experienced backpacker. Since he's been off school he has been able to take Calypso out on different sections of the trail for some training hikes. Let me tell you the AT in Pennsylvania is a challenging trek because of how rocky it is. There are a number of ascents but even the flat sections of trail are no picnic because of the proliferation of rocks.

Yesterday Mr. Lime took Calypso out for their final hike before she leaves. It was a demanding trail that ascends 1200 ft. in 2 miles. Some sections of it are more like vertical free climbing. When they made the top I received this picture.

 

A few minutes later I noticed on Facebook that Calypso had posted, "I climbed a mountain!" Yes, Calypso, you most certainly have.  I hope you are reveling in the view.

Would You Rather...

We play a game in these here parts that involves having to choose which of two unpleasant alternatives you'd prefer.  Generally, the questions would be something akin to, "Would you rather eat a whole jar of kindergarten paste or drink a dixie cup of Elmer's Glue?"

Earlier today I was able to generate a new question not derived from theoretical notions but from actual experience.

As I was having lunch, which includes salsa and chips I got to the end of the bag.  My typical practice is to take the shards too small to dip, toss them in a bowl, and dump salsa over them so I can eat the mess with a spoon.  I had just taken a big spoonful of chip shards and hot salsa when I began to feel the unmistakeable sensation of a giant slow-motion sneeze winding up.

I tried to chew faster but realized the sneeze would register sooner than I could complete the swallow, thus I'd risk a massive choking fit.  My alternatives quickly boiled down to, "Would I rather stifle the sneeze by keeping my mouth closed and risking sinus cavities full of chips and salsa or just give a big unrestrained sneeze and have a lovely abstract dispersal pattern of chips and salsa to clean off the nearest surface?"

As the person generally responsible for most of the cleaning I did not wish to create a giant mess right before I was supposed to leave for work.  As a person who tends not to like searing pain in her sinuses, at the last possible moment, I opted for the mess....however reflexes took over and I raised my elbow to cover my sneeze.

So much for that shirt...

Watching My Back

Long time readers may recall that I used to live in Trinidad, West Indies.  Upon our return to the US we lived with my mother while Mr. Lime looked for the work that landed us where were currently live.  During that time living with my mother, she and Calypso forged a strong bond.  When Calypso was about 4 or 5 she made the following statement:


If our house burned down we could go live with Grammy again.

She said it with eyes shining full of hope and excitement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Isaac was about 3 all the kids began lobbying heavily for a cat or a dog.  Aside from not wanting to have one more creature to clean up after I told the kids I was too allergic to cats and dogs to live with them, which is true.  There were a number of counter arguments but none so shocking as Calypso's.

C: (with an expression as if she has just had a stroke of genius) If you died we could have a cat or a dog!

Me: (Somewhat reluctantly)  Well...uh...theoretically yes...since that would take care of the whole allergy problem but would you rather have a dog or a cat or a mommy?

C: (pondering a moment) Hhmm...A dog or a cat because if you were dead you'd be with Jesus and that's a good thing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some tine after that we had a couple deaths in the family and inherited items began to appear in our home.  After noticing the correlation, Calypso began to ask a certain question whenever she admired something that belonged to someone else.

Can I have that when you die?

It was all enough to make a mother a bit paranoid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years passed in relative peace .and I thought I was safe but recently a couple more things have come up that make me wonder.  Several months ago there was an extended conversation about whether or not a large pepperoni could be successfully employed as a murder weapon.  Calypso decided freezing it to make it rock solid then making pizza with it after the crime to eliminate the evidence would be the way to go.

This weekend we went grocery shopping.

C: (picking up a 2 lb. block of herbed monterey jack cheese) I wonder if this could be a good murder weapon.

Me: No, too soft.

C: (replacing the m.j. cheese and holding up a 3 lb. block of cheddar)  What about this?  It says it's extra sharp.

Ok, I don't think she truly meant the cheese as a weapon.  I just about died laughing though.

Friday 55 & Da Count-Sensible Shoes

FRIDAY 55

A first job for a teenage girl

means so much fun shopping.

She can finally buy the most outrageous shoes

that Mom would never get for her.

My how times changes things.

They don't match anything in her closet.

They hurt her feet.

She's going on a backpacking trip.

Time for a new pair of shoes.

DA COUNT

Those two pairs of shoes both belong to Calypso.  She bought the yellow ones a couple years ago for a stupid amount of money when she got her first paycheck.  The second pair we bought a couple weeks ago to get her ready for a 9 month internship at a camp/farm.

Last month Calypso was cleared by the doctor to participate in the program at the camp.  The first week will include a 4 day backpacking trip in the Rockies.  Given that my girl spent 11 months growing increasingly unwell before she was diagnosed accurately and treated effectively I am amazed by this and deeply grateful. 

This week she took a big step toward breaking in those practical shoes by successfully completely a 7.4 mile day hike on some pretty rocky terrain.  She has also done a shorter hike on a trail that was also incredibly rocky and on a very significant incline.  If you had asked me six months ago whether she'd be able to do this I probably would have welled up in tears wondering if she'd even be able to just get through a day of school without dropping over.  Now I just well up with gratitude at how far she has come.

Slice of Lime-Tall Order

You recall I went to a colonial festival with my mom over the weekend.  As we wandered we found a section with amusements of the time.  A boy was walking on stilts.  Mom noted how she was the talk of town as a kid because she used to walk all up and down the main street on her own set of stilts.  Of course, this led to me requesting a demonstration before attempting them myself.  She declined but gave me the important tips for success...since she knew I would not be swayed from trying them.  the big question was:  Would I succeed or break a bone in the attempt?

What's your guess? (Scroll down to find out)

Here is where I heighten the tension and tell you to continue scrolling...

She's up.  Will she stay up?  (Keep scrolling)

More tension builds....

Ta-daaaaaa!!!!!*  (The crowd goes wild...)

*The dismount was somewhat less graceful than I'd have hoped for but no Limes were injured in the stilt-walking session.

Yeah, It's Like That

*image from here

I won't even annoy you with the details other than to say the last 3 hours have been all about Murphy's Law with a large dose of demanding behavior and a dash of stupidity.

It's adversely affecting my creativity so this is what you get.

Feel free to let rip with your own primal scream.

Folk Fest Fun

Another activity Mom and I enjoyed this weekend was heading out to a local folk festival.  It's one I've wanted to go to for a few years since it's at a living history site like the one where I have volunteered.  Both this one and the one I am familiar with highlight Pennsylvania German culture.  The one near to me covers early 19th century whereas the one I visited this weekend covers the Colonial period.  It was really interesting to note some of the differences and similarities.

Here we have an example of bobbin lace making.  It looks quite complex but the lady demonstrating demystified the process considerably.  It's still painstaking though.

This is a butter mold.  These were used not just as decoration but as a way to "brand" a local farm's butter so it was recognizable in the market.

Just a corner of a house that intrigued me.

This is the dining table in the same house.

In the house, which was quite dimly lit, there was a demonstration of hearth cooking.  This is not the best picture I've ever taken since I wanted to try capturing the scene without resorting to using flash.  It meant using a slow shutter speed and trying to control camera shake without a tripod or even a sturdy surface to rest the camera on.  I found out there's an application for marksmanship skills in this.  Hold your breath, squeeze the trigger slowly and smoothly...or the shutter release as the case may be.

A row of planes at the carpenter's section of the festival.

A powder horn that was typical to this particular area.  Most of the other decorated powder horns were decorated with scrimshaw.  This one was etched with a mildly acidic solution rather than carved and inked.  I quite liked it.

I've always loved the stone farm houses that dot the area where I grew up so I had to get a shot of some stone work.

Mom's Garden

This weekend I grabbed an opportunity to go visit my mom.  She's quite the gardener so I always enjoy a stroll around her yard.  She kept apologizing that this week seemed to not be one with so many blooms but I found her zinnias quite lovely.  I can't grow them at my house partly because our yard is so heavily shaded and partly because I have a black thumb of death.

I liked this tall one that stood out from the rest too.

Mom has always been enchanted by butterflies.  When Calypso was in kindergarten she had a whole unit on the life cycle of butterflies and told my mom all about it.  Then we found a mail order kit where you could raise a certain species from eggs to butterfly and gave it to Mom for Christmas that year.  Ever since she has been hooked.  Now her garden is full of plants intended to attract butterflies.  She has also planted a big section of various types of milkweed for Monarchs.  She checks the leaves daily to look for eggs so she can take them inside away from predators and raise them before releasing them.  Now she's the one doing demonstrations on the life cycle of butterflies.  Anyway, this weekend she had me looking for the eggs too.  I found about five including this one.  They are smaller than the head of a pin.  See it?

When they hatch you need a magnifying glass to see the caterpillar but they grown pretty quickly and Mom keeps them supplied with fresh milkweed leaves.  This one was about a half inch long.  Eventually, after molting about four times they create the chrysalis (what most folks mistakenly call a cocoon).  No pictures of that stage since all the ones Mom has are eggs or caterpillars right now but when you see one you get the idea of what they are called Monarchs. There is a delicate ring of tiny "gold" beads that form a crown on the chrysalis.  I hope to get a picture of one later in the summer.

I was lucky enough to catch a Monarch on one of Mom's bushes even though it was quite windy and hard to focus.  There were about 3 other species of butterflies on the largest bush but up too high for me to capture with my lens.

There were also a number of these busy visitors too.

Slice of Lime-Repeat Performance

You may recall a post around this time last year where I displayed the amazing feat of strength of ripping a phone book in half after the big beefy boss men failed in their respective attempts to do so.

The new phone books were delivered to work today.  I asked the boss if it meant I could rip the old one in half.  He laughed and offered no objections.

Earlier this year the big beefy guy in last year's picture left the practice for a major career change...one involving some serious boot camp and post boot camp training where he HAD established his bad ass credentials.  We've all missed him and his humor and we decided to send him a care package which included a pink teddy bear we all signed.  He let us know he opened that package in front of all his fellow boot camp victims and some instructors.  His bad ass rep was put in serious jeopardy.

Today I sent him this picture and asked him."This bad ass enough for you and cooler than the teddy bear?"

Brain Dump

Just some crap cluttering my brain today...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently purchased the above bucket for a whopping $3.  Calypso needs one for next year.  The sign said the regular price was $12.99.  The thought occurred that perhaps that "regular price" was  merely inflated as a way to make the sale price look even better but I had seen them sold at that price in the past.  Now you know they are still managing some sort of profit at $3 so why do they ever need to jack it up to $12.99.  Feel free to answer but I'm sure it can't possibly boil down to anything other than sheer greed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calypso: Did someone fart?

Mr. Lime: It doesn't smell like one of mine.

Isaac: Mine smell like rainbows.

Mr. Lime: You fart Skittles?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And just because it made me wonder....

You Are a Yellow M&M

You are a mystery to those around you. You're happy-go-lucky but also quietly enigmatic. You live in a very individualistic way. You're doing what you love, and that varies from day to day. You are very self-aware and introspective. You know who you are, and you're good with that. You have an ironic view of life. You can be both serious and funny at the same time.

What Color M&M Are You?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what it looks like when a follicularly challenged man decides to attempt a mohawk on himself.  A few moments later her presented me with a handful of hair, which represented ALL he had removed from his cranium.  He asked, "Do you think Locks of Love would want this?" 

The Queen's Meme #89 ~ The Random Meme

The Queen's Meme #89 ~ The Random Meme

Welcome to The Queen's Meme

7 Royal Questions on Tuesday

The Random Meme is well...random. Haphazard. No synchronicity. No rhyme or reason. I'm allowed once in awhile to be random. So I looked deep into the recesses of a tired pencil brain today and wrote down the first thing that popped into my head. That's a dangerous proposition.
I hope you enjoy this totally random meme.


1. What is your favorite summertime flower?

The green blossom of the money tree in my back yard...you know the one my children seem to think I have.


2. Are you behind on your blog?
No, but I've considered a blog on my behind, which has widened considerably since I've been blogging.

3. What has irritated you the most recently?
The blog that's riding up and giving me a wedgie.


4. What was your last Facebook status post?
banana possum leaf spangles gizzard pickles

What??? You said this was a random thing.


5. When is the last time you laughed?
Stardate 2311.65

6. What can absolutely ruin your day?
The Parthenon, the Acropolis, the Coliseum, Angkor Wat...


7. What is the one thing that always brightens your day?
Lightbulbs

The Dying of the Light

They say the stars are so old,
so far away
it takes so long for their light to reach us
that they've burnt out
before our feeble eyes
can see their glory reach us
and all we see is what once was.

There will be no doctors,
no antiseptic smells,
or drooping half smiles and weak handshakes.
You will play the guitar for me
as I twirl and clap.
You will pour over my sketchbooks,
guide my hands with yours.
We will walk in the mountains
as you repeat the legends
of those who were here before us.

There will be no nurses
carrying your bedpan
and insulting you with your first name,
no machines pumping air into your windpipe
so you can only mouth what you want to say.
You will stand straight and tall,
your quiet dignity will require the same
of those who approach.
Yet your smile will be sunlight after rain
and melt the winter snow.
Your words will carry weight
and no one will mistake your meaning.

There will be no sadness or tears,
and, dear God, there will not be that rope
with you dangling from it.
There will only be the mischievous twinkle in your eye.
There will be gardens of your produce,
your rice pudding,
you sharing a sandwich with the barn cat,
you fixing any mechanical thing that man ever made.
You will carry the offering plate to the altar,
and your baritone voice will echo on the hymns.

There will be no broken-hearted waiting
for a last breath
while your unfocused eyes stare at nothing.
Your laugh will bounce around the room
like a pinball.
Your crochet hook and knitting needles
will click and fly
as the blankets and clothes grow.
I will see your eyes peer through the curtains.
checking to see if we are home.
And your unexpected visit
will be the fresh breeze let in
after the windows are open the first day in Spring.

You are my stars
hung in the midnight sky.
Though you have flickered
like a candlewick about to give its last light
before the wisp of smoke rises
I still see your light,
your glory shines brightly
in the darkest night
and it guides my path.

Friday 55-Sigh

FRIDAY 55

Grocery shopping is an inescapable chore.

Christmas shopping is an annual grind.

Bathing suit shopping is the stuff of nightmares.

Shoe shopping,

clothes shopping, 

they hold no allure for me.

But turn me loose in a bookstore

and I'll be content until my wallet empties.

Sadly, it will be harder 

to indulge my addiction now.

In the many years I've lived in this area I've watched the rural loveliness be paved over and built up with strip malls.  Row upon row of chain stores went up over night as the trees came down.  Of all the numbers of there was only one I got completely excited about because we didn't have a decent local book store.  Yes, I can order books on-line but I am one of those people who adored going over the remainders tables and finding surprises there.  I've gotten some great books that way.  I also loved searching through the shelves just to see what was there.  Of course, there were times I'd go knowing exactly what book I wanted but more often than not I'd just go peruse and see what struck my fancy.  More often than not I'd be far away from the best-seller tables.  It was like digging for hidden treasure and I was rarely disappointed.  I'm a great lover of biographies and memoirs and that section alone in this Borders could keep me searching happily for a long time.  I'm very sad to see it go...though I think my bank account will be better off when the doors close the last time...

Slice of Lime-Driven to Insanity*

I have a choice of three different but reasonably direct routes to work.  They are each very distinct.  One takes a highway.  One takes a main road through town.  One is all back roads.  It's nice to have options because there are frequent accidents (and no I am not the cause or victim of them all, thankyouverymuch).

Early this summer construction began on the highway (and still continues).  Any time the highway gets gnarly the main road through town backs up as folks seek the alternate route.

Then they started digging up the back roads, which also diverts traffic to the main road through town.

Then they decided to tear up the main road...

and trim trees on the main street and the back roads...

and  close down bridges on the highway...

all at the same time.

Did I mention we  live in a tourist area and it's vacation season?

It's been so very special trying to find a way to work lately.

Then yesterday they strangled the road in front of our office to one lane.

I expect tomorrow they will rip up our cul de sac too.  It's just par for the course.

*No Limes were in actual traffic at any time during the shooting of this picture.  This is a dramatic recreation staged in the parking lot of work.  In fact, the key wasn't even in the ignition.  In fact, I had nearly drained my battery to the point of the car being unwilling to start after leaving my lights on because this is not even my own car.  I stole Mr. Lime's car and I'm not terribly familiar with all the controls.  This post is approved by Lime.  Reading of this post may cause severe nostril cramps, chafed knuckles, simple chronic hallitosis, gingivitis, excessive ear hair growth, palpitations, baldness, furry tongue, and personality disorders.  Erections lasting longer then four hours should be examined by me...unless you're a woman or experiencing the other side effects, in which case I'll run screaming out of the room at what a freak you've become.

Overheard in the Office...Only in a Rural Area

We live in a rural area with a lot of urban transplants.  Sometimes the culture clash is rather amusing, like when someone brings up the topic of butchering meat chickens.

Chicken Farmer: First we dunk 'em in a vat of boiling water so they pluck easier.

Avian Sympathizer:  Oh no!  I can't listen to this!

CF:  Ok, we put them in a Jacuzzi.

AS: That doesn't sound so bad.

CF: Then we toss 'em in the Whizz-Bang machine.

AS: What's that?

CF: Well, it has a bunch of rubber fingers and it bounces the birds around to pluck 'em.

AS:  Oh no! This sounds horrible.

Me: Think of it as a massage after being in the jacuzzi.

CF: Right!  And we are just "undressing" the chickens.


Snarky Therapist:  Give them a couple drinks after the Jacuzzi and I bet they'd undress themselves.

Me: Chickens doing tiny little shots.  It's Chickens Gone Wild!

Meme-aphobia

After many weeks away following a very nasty car accident Queen Mimi has returned. Empress Lime is pleased to have her back in one piece and giving good meme material.


Welcome to the Queen's Meme. I am happy to be back amongst the memesters! I've made up a brand new meme for your memeing entertainment. Let's talk about fears today.  A phobia is an irrational fear of something and is classified as an anxiety disorder. Do you know that millions of people are deathly afraid of bugs?  That's called entomophobia: a fear of insects. It's a virtual epidemic! I personally have 3 phobias at the moment that I can think of. Motophobia (I'm working on that one), murophobia (fear of rodents) and forgetfulphobia (fear of...of....sorry, I forgot)
I trust you to be honest and not look in the dictionary for the correct answers until after you've completed your assignment meme. Do I have your word of honor? (The correct answers will magically appear on my blog tomorrow)

The Phobia Meme

Why did I stop at 12? Because I'm afraid of the number 13.

That's triskaidekaphobia for all you non-phobia speakers.

Identify these six common (and uncommon) phobias. You can answer rightly if you know the correct answer or spoof them all!  Define the following phobias.

1. What is mysophia?
It's what an ex-lover cried out in a moment of passion.  Since my name ain't Sophia it led to him becoming an EX-lover.

2.  Ailurophobia?
 Fear of an ale so weak it tastes like warm urine hence the misspelled "ail" rather than "ale-urophobia."  Though I do think it's actually the fear of cats.  Maybe it's the fear of beer that tastes like cat pee, which seems entirely reasonable to me.  Have you ever smelled a catbox?

3.  Technophobia?
Well, I used to refer to myself as a technophobe, meaning I was afraid of computers and technology.   Yes, it's really true I was, once upon a time.  I was the member of Casa de Lime who argued for typewriters rather than getting a PC.  I heatedly debated taking the required computing course in school too.  Truth is stranger than fiction in this case.

4.  Novercaphobia?
What leads a redneck to avoid having dental work done.  "Ah don't want none of that novercaine."

5.  Dipsophobia?
Fear of people who act like complete dipsh!ts.  Actually this isn't so much irrational as based in a  strong sense of self-preservation based on not wanting to suffer at the hands of an idiot...particularly when the fool is in a position to make decisions affecting your life.  See also: the executive and legislative branches of government and the recent debt crisis.  (It's enough to make me take to booze...which I believe I'd be avoiding if I were truly dipsophobic because I think it's a fear of alcohol.)

6.  Gymnophobia?
What describes my junior high years in Phys. Ed. class, especially when we got to the required sessions in gymnastics each winter.  What unmitigated horror that was.  I used to beg to be able to go do wrestling with the boys instead of having to pretend I had any level of skill as a gymnast.

7.  Hippophobia?
The horror invoked by looking at my hips in the mirror after a week of binging on hot fudge sundaes.  (Though I believe it's actually what Mr. Lime suffers from that makes him refuse to ever ride a horse.)

8. Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?
The horror invoked by looking at my hips in the mirror after a YEAR of binging on hot fudge sundaes...or if you want the right answer, I think it's the fear of long words.

9.  Lachanophobia?
Fear of Spanish translations of Charlie Chan stories.

10. Uranophobia?
Fear of an exit being used as an entrance.

11.  Levophobia?
Fear of levity.  I am convinced several of my former teachers had extreme cases of this.



12. Make up your own phobia word and explain what you are afraid of.
Bromopedophobia: fear of my son's stinky feet.  Though I contend if you've ever touched his socks AFTER he washed them and had your hands come away stinking of teenage boy footrot it's not a fear anyone would consider irrational.  I believe I have a new form of bio-terrorism in my own home.