Why I Will Never Work in the Fashion Industry

Last week I had an interview for a library aide position.  I haven't heard anything yet.  If nothing else, I can say I was the most professionally attired interviewee with dress pants, a blouse and a fitted jacket.  I also got a haircut about a month ago so I could look a bit more put together and avoid what my kids refer to as "wild, drugged-out hippie" hair.  Seems a reasonable presentation to me.

Calypso is also job-hunting.  She has an interview Monday afternoon.  She is excited and I am glad for her.  She was concerned about what to wear.  I helped her pick a suitable outfit.  It was a bit of a challenge since she spent the last year working on a farm/camp and she is interviewing for an office job.  She had gotten rid of most of the clothing she owned which would have been interview appropriate.  We still managed to find something, or so I thought.

Today she went to visit a friend's mother for wardrobe advice.  She came home with a borrowed Prada bag to carry to the interview. I will spare you my explicit thoughts on the absurdity of a 19 year old with a high school diploma carrying a Prada bag to an interview but to my way of thinking it doesn't seem to convey a need for a job.  Maybe I am crazy.

I probably am.  I carried all my crap (lunch, purse, sweater, a book to read at lunch) to work in a 99 cent reusable shopping bag for a couple years and was perfectly content doing so.  Mr. Lime gave me something more professional looking last Christmas because he thought my shopping bag was a bit sad....and he's the guy who once said the pieces of my wardrobe he most liked seeing me wear were my camo pants and a pepto bismol pink sweater.

Joys of the Job Hunt

These are actual job listings I have found.  As Dave Barry says, "I am not making this up."

In order to qualify for unemployment in my state I am required to search for jobs through a statewide database for jobs.  It sounds so much more helpful than it is.  For example, based on the resume I posted and the questionnaire I filled out the program algorithms have determined I should apply to be a Physical Therapist.  This is a job requiring a Master's Degree (I don't have one in any field, let alone PT) and licensure by the State Board of Physical Therapy (I don't have that either) and  yet, this is the job I am advised to apply for.  Brilliant application of technology here.

Next we come to a listing from a local school district (a miracle in itself due to massive budget shortfalls and ensuing lay-offs).  The position is for a Chemnistry teacher (sic).  This is a local school district which very arrogantly proclaims its superiority to the other districts in the area.  Uh-huh...moving on...

A bit further down the page I see a listing for a preschool teacher.  The employer requires various certifications and there must be several security clearances and for all this professional preparation the generous salary of $7.75/hour.  That's right folks, for just 50 cents above the minimum wage they expect to attract a loving, creative, energetic professional who provides youngsters a strong foundation to begin their academic lives....oh, and to tolerate being a human hankie.

Next I decided to move off the State website and search local school district websites.  I found one district page that was designed entirely using the comic sans font.  Yet, I am the one who is supposed to be concerned about presenting a professional demeanor.  The web designer needs to be fired.

And there are people wondering why education doesn't attract the best and brightest....

Fingers Crossed!

I've been called for an interview at a local school.  It's only a one year position but I'd be an aide in an elementary reading department.  Anyone who has been reading me any length of time knows I feel pretty passionately about uniting kids with books.  Prayers, positive energy, good mojo, crossed fingers...whatever you want to send my way will be appreciated!