Monday, February 20, 2006

A Thank You and a Confession

First, I want to thank all of those who shared about special books over the weekend. I really loved hearing about all the difference stories that impacted each of you. Some of the books were ones I loved as a kid (Robert, I used to feel sad for the poor saggy, baggy elephant too until he found other elephants who called him beautiful). Some were new to me (Logo, I may need to check outt the Wheedle on the Needle. And Seamus, the passion you had for Morgan and Me is going to compel me to check it out.) I'm just tickled that Gloria Jean was motivated to search one more time for books that sustained her through a sad childhood AND that after 20 years she found them! I just knew there were more reasons why I liked Brian, and his reading and rereading of The Little Prince tells me one of them. Although Breazy didn't discover joy in reading until an adult I applaud her for not giving up and for the way she has encouraged reading for her kids. That's a happy story, my friend! I also promise to Moosekahl, I never have and never will make talent any part of a kid getting an extra RIF book. I've also got to thank BS for instructions on linkage.



Now I have a confession to make. As much as I love books, I've been a book burner too. There is one book so heinous, so dark, so atrocious in every way that I felt I had to. It was the cause of such suffering and needless heartache there was no other recourse. And even though that dark chapter in my life was over so many years ago, I am remorseless enough about it that I'd do it again given the chance.

I read the book cover to cover. I did not come to my decision lightly or merely as a result of secondhand information. I did seek others to join me in casting copies of the book into the bonfire. I actively encouraged others to gather whatever copies of this horrendous volume they could find in order to offer them to the flames. You may be happy to know that I failed in my endeavor to gain partners in this destruction. I was undaunted in my determination to rid myself and others of this scourge of a book.

Alone in my fury, I prepared the altar upon which this wretched text should be offered. My hatred for the book grew as the flames lept higher. I cackled in maniacal pleasure as I fed the fire a leaf at a time. I was going to enjoy every second of this book burning. I slowly ripped each page from the book, dropped it into the blaze and watched in glee as the flames consumed it. I savored each moment until finally I had only the cover left. I stoked the fire and finally tossed in the cover. I felt a burden lift from my shoulders and sighed deeply in relief....




Never again would I suffer through my college statistics textbook! Hehehe

21 comments:

bsoholic said...

LMAO! Damn those college statistics textbooks! The whole time reading this I was thinking "weird, I figured Lime was pretty open-minded". Good one!

Jodes said...

you were so right to burn that book. I never took that class, but I know people that have and every one of them hated it.

logo said...

evil, soo dark and evil...
I like it!
mwah hah hah hah!!

barefoot_mistress said...

Some books really do need to be burned......

lime said...

bs, hehehe.. gotcha ;)

jodes, logo, bare.......very glad to know you all concur

Indigo said...

omg... I HATED stats so much. It was the only class I regularly skipped in favor of a downing a few at the pub.

*tosses in mine as well*


Burnnnnnnn baby, burn



xxx

gloria jean said...

Oh you are so funny! You can only imagine what books I was thinking would make it to the climax of the story. You got me and that doesn't happen very often! Cute!!

lime said...

prairie, oh yeah, i am all over that, pour me a cider.

gloria, hehehe glad i gotcha

snavy said...

Never thought to burn a textbook -- they were too damned expensive.

Pack-rat that I am - I still have each and every one.

Top cat said...

that's too funny lime, burning the textbook, bet it gave you unlimited joy..lol

I have to admit, I just don't sit down to read a book anymore or I would have contributed to your post.:)

Gary said...

You surprised me. I was lucky. My professor told us at the beginning of the class that he wasn't going to flunk anyone. So I never read the book.

Blue said...

OMG - I burnt mine too!

I would have sold it, but they changed versions the following year - so there was no choice. There was no way I was going to allow it to sit on my shelf contaminating the 'good' books.

Breazy said...

OMG!!! you had me wondering what book would be so horrible that YOU would want to burn it ! LOL! Thank you Lime !

lime said...

snavy, i have every other textbook. that one was worth the burn.

tc, glad you enjoyed. yes, the joy just keeps on keeping on ;)

gary, you were indeed lucky

bb, you and i are gonna get along just fine!

breazy, hehe. yw:D

Moosekahl said...

You are amazing...thanks for letting every kid get a book and thank you for burning that statistics book. I think I still have mine but i may have destroyed my calculus based physics text. Happy Monday!

lime said...

moose, that sounds like another good candidate for the bonfire.

Bridget Jones said...

heh heh heh so liked this post! HATED stats!

Good move, Lime!!!

FunkyB said...

Oooo... you had me going. But at the punchline, I just nodded a zombie "yes."

The Village Idiot said...

For a serious moment here..from the idiot...amazing that they do occur once in a while. It's not a children's story, it's not even a book, its a short story by Arthur C Clarke and Logo shared it with me and I like it for several reasons.

1) It is extremely well written
2) It makes you think, and leaves the ending open to your interpretation of how the protagonist deals with his discovery.

It is called The Star

Jericho said...

my undergraduate degree is in statistics.... hmmm.... but, many times i could have burned a few textbooks... My recommendations, however: The Corrections (Franzen), A Short History of a Small Place (Pearson), Me Talk Pretty One Day (Sedaris), Quoth the Maven (Safire), and many, many others...

Chickadee said...

Oh man, I would have burned my College Physics, Chemistry, Statistics and Algebra books in a heartbeat if I didn't need the money for them so bad. Gah.