Dear God in Heaven, what sadist decided 10 year olds who live 2 miles from their school should be at the bus stop at 6:15 am for a school day that commences an hour later? Whoever the hell it was should be the one personally waking said ten year olds, getting them ready for school, driving the whole busload of them to school, and then inspiring them to learn in the classroom. Either that or the aforementioned sadist ought to be shot at dawn which, when the time changes, will not arrive for quite a long time AFTER 6:15 am. Did I mention we live in an area with no streetlights or sidewalks? Shooting at dawn is too good. Let me think on it a while, I'm a creative person, I am sure I can come up with a better form of revenge. In the meantime, your suggestions are welcome. Ok, I will calm down now....
Now children, come over to the story corner and sit down. It's sharing time.
The Tale of Two Teachers.
Once upon a time there was a little girl, named Lime who was ready for kindergarten. She was very excited and when the big yellow bus picked her up she gabbled all the way to school. Who would the teacher be? Who would her classmates be? What was the bus passing? Who would she sit with? What would the room look like? Would she get lost?
When the bus arrived a lady with pointy glasses, a wildly colored dress and a very tall beehive hairdo came to the bus and said she was their teacher (Years later when the girl was grown she would know all the beehived women in pointy glasses depicted in Far Side cartoons were modelled on her kindergarten teacher). She led the children to their new classroom. 'Here are your cubbies and here are your tables. Please put your things away and come sit down on the rug. The principal will be here in a minute to welcome you.' The children did as they were asked and in came a short man in a baggy suit.
The man in the baggy suit said,'Good afternoon.' Some children repeated his words, some looked out the window, some picked fluff off the rug, some picked their noses. He repeated himself more loudly. Some more children repeated his words, some giggled because he sounded like their whiny little brother and he was repeating himself insistently, just like the whiny little brother.
The man in the baggy suit started to say more words. He was using the grown up tone that says, 'I am very important and you are small so you must listen very carefully' but his voice was still whiny and monotonous. And there was a whole shelf of interesting looking books, and stacks of colorful paper, and pretty fall leaves on the bulletin board, and that girl has pretty pigtails, and that boy has a lot of freckles, and how does the teacher get her hair to stay like that, and the man in the baggy suit kept talking and talking and talking and whining and whining and whining.
Little Lime noticed the girl on her left was talking to the other girl next to her,and the boy on her right was still picking his nose and he was wiping it on the rug next to her. She leaned over and said, 'That's yucky, you better not get boogers on me.' The man in the baggy suit noticed that the children were paying more attention to everything but his whiny words and said, 'One of the things we will learn in kindergarten is how to keep our mouths shut when it is time to learn because some of us have very big mouths.' Now Little Lime came from a family where personal opinions were uncensored and offered freely and where astute observations were commended. So she waved her hand enthusiastically in the air (having listened to the man in the baggy suit explain that this was the expected manner for taking turns speaking) to share her great insight. The man in the baggy suit pointed to her and she proudly exclaimed, 'We know who has the biggest mouth of all! You do!' Thus it came to pass that Little Lime had a note home to her poor mortified mother on the first day of kindergarten.
Lime grew and she grew and she grew. She married Mr. Lime and they had 3 lovely Limelets of their own. It came about that it was time for the first Limelette to go to kindergarten. Knowing that Limelette #1 is even more inclined to freely offer her unvarnished opinion than Lime herself, Lime was a bit concerned about this first day of school. When the day arrived Lime walked her own dear Limelette #1 to school. All the other children lined up with their bright new clothes and shiny bags and happy faces. Limelette #1 marched up the steps to join them confidently. Out came a smiling woman with gentle eyes and a gentle voice and and gentle, happy greeting, 'Welcome to kindergarten my dear children. We have so many wonderful things to learn together.' Limelette #1 marched in as Lime felt an odd sort of realization that 'Another Woman' would now help mold and shape her precious Limelette. 'We shall see...,' she thought to herself.
When Limelette #2 turned 4 she knew her turn with the teacher with the gentle eyes, voice, and smile would come soon. She asked her mother every day for a year, 'How many days until I turn 5 and can go to kindergarten?' Every time she saw the gentle teacher she asked, 'How many more days until I can be in your class?' The gentle teacher always said, 'Soon my dear, and I can't wait either.' Eventually after many days and many repetitions of the question and answer, Limelette #2 was lined up with all the other children in front of the school and wiggling excitedly. The smiling teacher with the gentle eyes, and gentle voice came out to meet the class. She leaned over to Limelette#2 and said, 'My dear, guess what?' Limelette #2 looked up with shining eyes and asked, 'What?' The gentle teacher smiled wide, her own eyes shining with joy and answered, 'TODAY IS FINALLY HERE! And I am soooo glad to have you in my class!' As the class followed the gentle teacher in Lime smiled knowing Limelette #2 was in caring hands.
Finally, the day came when Limelet #3 was ready for kindergarten. Since Lime had helped so often in the gentle teacher's class and the teacher had often said Limelet #3 should come along, Limelet #3 knew the gentle teacher very well. He knew where to find the room. He knew where everything in the room was. The first day of kindergarten was a mere technicality to him. But the gentle teacher was also wise and wanted it to be a special day for all her students. Limelet #3 lined up with all the other new kindergarteners and the gentle teacher came out to meet the class and she said to Limelet #3, 'Welcome to kindergarten, my dear! Today, you don't just get to visit my class. Today you get have your very own spot in it and today you get to stay. I am so very glad.'
At the end of Limelet #3's kindergarten year Lime felt a bit sad knowing it was the end of an era with the gentle teacher. She told the gentle teacher how she had wondered about her on the first day Limelette #1 went to kindergarten. Then Lime said, 'I am so glad each of my children got to start their school career with you. In all my imagination there does not exist a more wonderful kindergarten teacher than you.' The gentle teacher shed a little tear and siad, 'Thank you, I needed to hear that.'
May all the gentle teachers and precious children have a wonderful start to the year.
And may the sadists taste justice......(Bad Lime! Naughty Lime, go sit in the corner! There will be a note going home today! Some of us just never learn do we??)