Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Weird News Wednesday-Say What?

N.M. orders 500 talking urinal cakes

By TIM KORTE, Associated Press Writer

RIO RANCHO, N.M. - New Mexico is hoping to keep drunks off the road by lecturing them at the last place they usually stop before getting behind the wheel: the urinal. The state recently paid $21 each for about 500 talking urinal-deodorizer cakes and has put them in men's rooms in bars and restaurants across the state.

When a man steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a woman's voice that is flirty, then stern: "Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home." The recorded message ends: "Remember, your future is in your hand."
Ok, first of all when a drunk guy hears a woman's flirtatious voice in the men's room I am thinking he's gonna whip around without thinking and then you've got a fun mess to clean up. However, I do think there is a touch of brilliance in addressing him as 'big guy' and telling him his future is in his hand while he is at the urinal. Then again, now the sot is all pumped up and does what...asks the urinal for her number maybe?

The talking urinal represents just the latest effort to fight drunken driving in New Mexico, which has long had one of the highest rates of alcohol-related traffic deaths in the nation. (The new tactic is aimed only at men, since they account for 78 percent of all driving-under-the-influence-related convictions in New Mexico.)
Well, that and there aren't a lot of women using urinals quite honestly...and I shudder to think of talking toilet seats in the ladies' room. Here's some wasted chick trying desperately to maintain the hover position and the seat talks to her while her pantyhose are down around her ankles. Lord have mercy...

"It startled me the first time I heard it, but it sure got my attention," said Ben Miller, a patron at the Turtle Mountain Brewing Co. bar and restaurant. "It's a fantastic idea." Jim Swatek, who was drinking a beer nearby, said: "You think, `Maybe I should call the wife to come get me.'"
Talking porcelain would, at the very least, make me wonder if I'd had one too many...

Turtle Mountain Brewing owner Niko Ortiz commended the New Mexico Transportation Department for "thinking way outside the box." Department spokesman S.U. Mahesh said the bathroom is a perfect place to get the message across. In the restroom, "guys don't chitchat with other guys," he said. "It's all business. We've got their total attention for 10 to 15 seconds."
George Michael notwithstanding...

Similar urinal cakes have been used for anti-drug campaigns in Colorado, Pennsylvania and Australia, and for anti-DWI efforts on New York's Long Island, said Richard Deutsch of New York-based Healthquest Technologies Inc., which manufactures the devices. But Deutsch said he believes New Mexico is the only state to buy the devices.
Evidence of New Mexicans having a sense of humor or more government waste?

At the Turtle Mountain, the urinal cakes have proved so intriguing that three have been swiped already. "I'm mystified why someone would stick their hand into one of our urinals," Ortiz said. "But I'm sure we'll see them on eBay. Hopefully, the seller will advertise it as, `Stolen from Turtle Mountain.'"
You're mystified?? Really? We are talking about drunk people here, right? Nothing should mystify you.


Mark Leslie said...

LOL! Love your commentary on this one (okay, I always love your commentary on these)

I was at first wondering if the urinal cakes had a drug-alcohol sensor in them and could deduce the drunks from the sober people and say different things like: "Hey big guy, you're ALMOST at your legal limit - maybe you should drink coke for the rest of the night or take a cab home." Or to someone with no alcohol say: "You must be the designated driver. Thanks for being a friend."

Of course, I put WAAAAY too much faith in urinal cakes. That's always been my problem.

Gardener Greg said...

I think we are "missing" a bigger problem in the mens room. Perhaps they should have walls and floors that say "Man you must be drunk, you missed the urinal"

I have enough trouble going with someone else in the room that is keeping quiet. If I hear voices forget about the 10 to 15 seconds, try 10 to 15 minutes. :) Thanks for the humor.


Anonymous said...

Very interesting lime.
I've come to the conclusion that the losers who are going to drive drunk don't listen to anyone, you can yell at them until the cows come home and they will still just think about themselves.

steve said...

Dang it!! LOL! what will they come up with next??!!

rose_michelle said...

Where, Lime ... Where do you find this stuff? I mean are you on some secret society list or something where they send you this stuff? I mean, you have got a knack girl.
Every Wednesday, I pull out a bag of chocolate (in your honor of course) and cruise on over to your page to see what the topic of enlightenment will be for the day.
As for the urinal cakes, with all that technology you think they could come up with a better name. I mean really, this is not something I'm going to waste chocolate icing on, so why catch my attention with the work "cake" onlt to discuss dirty old men pissing!?!

Apple said...

I found this hilarious! Thanks for adding your comments. I hope they never come up with something similar for the ladies room, I hate to think what would happen if I was startled in mid hover even when sober!

barefoot_mistress said...

You know, I have heard that those urinal cakes can become quite fresh! In fact Mr Ratburn tells me that last time he was at the local watering hole's urinal...(EEK!)...he heard a small voice from the porcelain...."hey baby, wanna get lucky?"
When he failed to answer, the small voice then said, "Oooh baby, nice package."
I can't wait to see what happens next time I buy a tampon out of the machine in the bathroom....will it talk to me, tell me I bought the wrong size, or just wish me a nice day and thank me for buying Tamapax?

Lime you so funny! I love waking up to see what you got!

lime said...

mark, i think you have a brilliant new marketing angle there!

greg, thanks for the also have an excellent suggestion...

tc, that's why i resort to such measures as stealing keys or sewing them to the floor when they pass out, true story....

steve, such creativity eh?

rose michelle, share the chocolate with me and i might tell you my sources. and i think you are absoutely right about the words 'urinal' and 'cake' being used in such close proximity to each other...eeewwww

apple, oh yeah, it is a precarious position to be in for sure

susie, LMAO girl....i was thinking something similar about the tampon dispensers. that would be just toooo weird.

bsoholic said...

I've heard about these. Pretty crazy really - soon though, they will just turn in to advertising. When you pee you hear a voice say... "Hey big guy, speaking of big... come down to Crazy Larry's Furniture depot and save tons of money on a big new couch!!!!"


Ameratis said...

That is fabtabulous! Your commentary as always is too funny!

lecram sinun said...

Really, arn't they more urinal muffins or donuts or bagels? A cake is such a huge commitment. lol!

lime said...

bs, i can hear it now...the first viagra commercial via urinal cake. 'you're looking a little limp there, brother. how about the lil blue pill?'

ameratis, don't applaud, just throw money

lecram, donuts and bagels at the urinal...i am have such bizarre thoughts....REALLY! (time to up my meds)

Dan said...

This talking urinal cake thing will never work!

When I'm soused, everything talks to me. The toilet, the paper towels, the sink, the guy staring at me (he probably really is talking to me).

KFarmer said...

LOL!! Commode cakes? Now, I think I've heard everything- ;)

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

Two great moments in memory:

-Duckie (from Pretty in pink,) getting thrown into the girls room by the bullies, seeing 'that dispenser,' and refusing to leave until the principal is brought in to explain why the girls get a 'candy machine.'


-me, for years, writing on walls with a magic marker in so many venues ' not eat the pink mint...'

a misspent youth is still well spent....

snavy said...

$21 ea for urinal cakes ... and people wonder why kids don't have enough books in school.

lime said...

dan, the question is, do you talk back to them?

kfarmer, eww, the mention makes me want to go brush my teeth and gargle

lacquer, LOL, the graffiti is fabulous!!

snavy, you think the PTA would do a urinal cake fundraiser?

tl said...

If one of those urinal cakes started talking to me, I'd have to have a dozen more beers to get over it. lol.


TorAa said...

Next they will come up with: You had to blow into the key-hole to get your car started. And to avoid tricks, you have to deal with your fingerprints on the key and at steering wheel at the same time. If you blow "red", the police will be alarmed and by the help of GPS you will be picked up.

.... your car would not start at all

w.o.w. No piss needed.LoL

Blither said...

Huh.. I wonder if I could just leave my own recorded messages in my husbands bath.

OO.. the thought process is working here.

James Goodman said...

lol, that's just...awesome. :D

lime said...

tl, that's hilarious!!!

toraa, the mind boggles...

blither, glad to have provided some inspiration

james, glad you enjoyed ;)

airplanejayne said...

Now....I'm not sure....but isn't this one of the states with THE MOST U.F frickin O sitings?!?!?!?!

::911 operator. State your emergency::

::Yes'm. there's aliens in the urinal::

::excuse me?::

::aliens! They say they wanna take me home, but I kn-::

::Sir, are you at the Turtle Mountain Brewing Company?::

::Holy shit! You're one of them thar alien sympathizers, aren't ya!?!?::

::Dispatch, we've got another one...::

Hypersonic said...

After I've tied one on I normally here voices anyway, so what's the difference?!