Tumors, Pork Chops, and Blueberry Buckle

I had a chance to see some old friends again this weekend when Calypso and I went out to central Pennsylvania for the graduation of a dear friend's son. We had a very scenic and meandering drive out there and it was just so beautiful.

My friend and I haven't seen each other nearly as often as we'd like over the last many years. Every time we get together though it's like no time has passed. She's quite the story teller and loves to tell the story of how we met 20 years ago.

As she tells it...(just imagine a very giggly an animated reading and you'll have it right)

Well, Paulie and I wanted to make babies and we tried to make babies for a long time and didn't get anywhere with that even though we'd been holding hands for like six years and everything. I mean we didn't even wear gloves or anything! Then my belly grew huge like there really was a baby in there, only problem was, it was a tumor and not a baby. And so I just saw the doctor and he told me, 'We're gonna take out yer tumor and a bunch of yer insides and the bits you need to make babies, oh, and yer probably still gonna die anyway.' And so I was kinda a little traumatized by all this, and my belly hurt and I couldn't walk. but we were supposed to have dinner with the Smith's and I sorta wanted to not think about having half my insides pulled out and not making babies and maybe dying anyway, so I made dessert and we went to the Smiths.

So we pulled up to their house and no lights are on and the door is locked and we knocked anyway and they come down in bathrobes and said, 'Why are you here?' 'Well, we brought dessert for dinner, like we agreed.' the Smith's said, 'Nooooooo, that is next week.' So we said goodbye and got in the car with our blueberry buckle and asked ourselves who would like dessert? Oh, we know! College students! Mr. Lime likes dessert! We know him and we know he can eat. We hope his fiancee likes dessert and doesn't mind unannounced visitors. So we drove to their apartment and Paulie walked up the three flights of stairs with dessert in hand and I waited in the car in case they said no, because my belly hurt and I was kinda in shock and all and didn't really want to walk up there until I knew they wanted dessert. They said dessert sounded good, come on in.

So Paulie came back down and helped me up 3 flights of stairs with my huge hurty belly that had tumors in it instead of babies and the guys went and did whatever guys do and I sat in the kitchen while Michelle was cooking dinner...because they were college students and they ate late and they were only now getting around to cooking. And Michelle said, do you like pork chops and I nodded blankly so she pulled more of them out to cook and she made pork chops while I sat in her kitchen and cried my eyes out
....IwannamakebabiesbutnowIhavetumorsandtheirgonnagutme
likeadeerbythesideoftheroad andtheysaidI'mgonnadieanyway... WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! and Michelle who never ever met me before let me bawl like a baby in my kitchen and she fed me and brought me tissues and she gave me some hugs and she let me rant and rave and bawl some more and she didn't even act like I was some sort of crazy woman escaped from the asylum. She just listened quietly. (Here is where I break in and remind the listener during the telling of the story that I had no idea what to do, that there was no great wisdom in me, that I was just aching for this poor lady in my kitchen who I never met who but who was obviously needing to dump a great load. I just figured if she was in such shock she'd tell all that to a stranger then it was just my job to listen until she was done and just be there, oh and feed her since she'd had no dinner. Well, and I kinda had no answers for this lady crying in my kitchen so why even try to fake it, just listen. Better to be silent and thought stupid than to open my mouth and remove all doubt kinda thinking.)

So she made good pork chops and she said I made good Blueberry Buckle for dessert and a few weeks later they gutted me like a deer and they said I was gonna live after all and many weeks after that I went to Michelle's wedding and wore pantyhose on my hurty belly or the first time just for her wedding because she fed me pork chops and let me bawl in her kitchen. And we've been good friends ever since. The end. (Always punctuated by her throwing her head back and laughing like a loon and giving me a hug)

Epilogue by Lime:
I'm so glad she took a risk on crying in my kitchen. I'm so glad she lived. We've shared so many laughs and tears since that first time. I had the joy of seeing her and her husband adopt and raise 3 wonderful children. Seeing one of them graduate this weekend and spending time together was an absolute joy.