Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Weird News Wednesday-Could I be the Next Dr. Ruth?



NEW YORK - A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized. The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it. Woods' lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages, names Novartis Consumer Health Inc. as a defendant. Novartis' Boost Plus Web site describes the drink as "a great tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume," in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

I am betting Boost Plus sees a spike in sales after this story is widely circulated. Hhhmmm, wonder if I can claim a commission fee?





LONDON (AFP) - More than half of British women prefer chocolate to sex, saying it can be depended on to give pleasure, according to a survey published Tuesday. But British men overwhelmingly think sex is sweeter, with 87 percent preferring carnal pleasures to a bar of confectionery. Fifty-two percent of women would rather curl up with a bar of chocolate, according to the survey of 1,500 Britons by confectionery giant Cadbury. Tastes vary between different parts of the country: Londoners are the keenest on sex, with 79 percent preferring it to chocolate, while overall 40 percent of people in eastern England would prefer to a bar of chocolate. The manufacturer also pointed out that almost half of British men regularly give chocolate as a birthday present or a thank you gift.

Listen, this is not an either or situation. This is about as win/win as it could possibly be...you simply combine the two.
*image from www.kjkkandies.com
Chocolate and sex...two great tastes that taste great together! Such silly people not to be able to figure that out.








JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - South African workers striking over pay and benefits have a new complaint -- they no longer have the energy for sex. Monroe Mkalipi, a regional chairman of the powerful COSATU federations of trade unions, complained that work conditions are so tough workers can't perform in the bedroom. "The harshness that we have in all our workplaces is so severe to such a point that when you get home at night it becomes a problem expanding our families," the SAPA news agency quoted him as saying. Public sector workers are negotiating with the government to increase pay for the first time since 2004.

Now THAT'S a good reason to strike. These people have their priorities straight. I think I am going to establish a cross-cultural exchange between South Africa and Britain...give those overworked guys a nice vacation and maybe they can teach those stodgy Brits a thing of two. Maybe we can speak to Novartis about some donations of Boost Plus too. I will not, however, endorse the following product...





SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian oyster farmer has hit upon a technique he believes has created the ultimate aphrodisiac -- feeding his shellfish the drug Viagra. George May said the natural qualities of the oyster, known for arousing sexual desire, combined with the best modern pharmaceutical equivalent to create a potentially multi-million dollar market. "First of all, oysters are the greatest natural aphrodisiac, second, you lace it with Viagra, and third, it's a laugh," the 59-year-old told AFP on Monday. May, who was a successful Sydney marketing executive until being diagnosed with prostate cancer late in 2006, will not be allowed to sell his oysters in Australia because they contravene strict regulations. And he has been ordered by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, which produces the anti-impotence drug Viagra, to stop using the name of their most famous product in his marketing. But May says neither of these obstacles will stop him from exporting his specially prepared Sydney Rock Oysters around the world.
"I'm getting calls from Macau, Hong Kong, Moscow for god's sake. I'm getting calls from all over the bloody world."


May said he told them: "I'm going to feed them Viagra and zinc and every other aphrodisiac I can find." He has since patented the idea of feeding the oysters Viagra, magnesium, zinc and sea grass among other things after the shellfish have gone through the normal purification process.
"They are all being really well looked after because they are in beautiful filtered water and we're actually feeding them vitamins and minerals," May said. "We're getting a bigger oyster."
May now has some 10 million oysters in cultivation and says he eats one to two dozen each day without any ill effects of consuming a foodstuff containing some medication. "I swear to god. They work," he said.


Yeah, I just bet he's getting bigger oysters. *snicker...I bet they still can't compare to an all natural Washington Geoduck.
Either way, I ain't eating oysters or geoducks. And I might add, Mr. Lime LOVES raw oysters but he knows I will not come within 10 feet of him after he's sucked down those vile snot globs on the halfshell. It doesn't matter what it does to his libido, the thought of oysters makes me want to vomit. Ok, I need to wash my mouth out with chocolate after even thinking about that. Quick, I need a chocolate covered man....

20 comments:

Charles said...

We all need to give more chocolate, and bring down the world population growth.
I get the same effects from all seafood as you get from the oysters.

S said...

Chocolate is the answer to most of the worlds problems.

Ameratis said...

Awesome, where do you find these fascinating stories? I only see poopoo negative things. Leave it to you to bring fun stuff to the table! Thanks Lime :)

Top cat said...

I love this post Dr Ruth Lime.
Methinks there was some viagra involved and the geek didn't want to admit it. Boost has been around a long time and this is the first reported incident that I know of.

Gobs of snot on a shell. I've never had Oysters but I have to agree with you on this one.

Logophile said...

Mmmmmmm, goeducks, sooo tasty.
I do prefer them cooked though, thank you.

bsoholic said...

NEW YORK - A man has sued the Australian farmer for selling him Viagra laced oysters that he claimed gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

That'll be next Weird news Wednesday's article. LOL :P

MyUtopia said...

LOL, I posted the Boost story too. How could I not, it is just too crazy.

Jim said...

LOL . . .

XO

justacoolcat said...

I am totally shocked to see that chocolate/sex survey was done by Cadbury.

Shocked!

goodthomas said...

Very funny stuff, Ms Lime. Very funny. I love these posts.

lecram sinun said...

I'm chocolate colored... if that counts... lol!

Keyser Soze said...

There's so much to say about this post that I'll just shut up.

Paul Champagne said...

The guy with the erection is actually named Woods? ain't that a hoot

Mel said...

hahaha I think like Paul!! Was wondering if someone else would catch the last name on the first story.

I actually love raw oysters.. especially washing them down with a nice cold beer. Uhm-> before I was pregnant that is.
hmmm, maybe that helped lead to my current condition lol

I can't believe people would prefer chocolate over sex. All the smart people know chocolate should be incorporated into a fabulous session!!!

~Tim said...

I'm with you on all of those (except make it a chocolate-covered woman for me of course). Besides, it's not true what they say about oysters. I ate a dozen once and only nine of them worked....

BTExpress said...

So, where do I get these oysters and can I get Boost without a prescription?

jillie said...

OMG...these stories are too funny. So go figure the Boost guy's last name is "Wood(s)" lol! All pun intended on that one.

Bigger and better oysters huh?

Heck...now all they need is a little Spotted Dick to go along with it! Of course...covered in chocolate ;o)

G-Man said...

I like chocolate covered oysters!
It get me 'Bona-Fide'!!

airplanejayne said...

I have a jar of chocolate lotion.....on some evenings, just smelling it is enough....

::sigh::

KFarmer said...

I didn't know what a geoduck was until I watched Mike digging for them on his show, Dirty Jobs- OMG, that man...;)