Holy Moses on a pogo stick! My first inclination is to put it in the attic or the crawl space so I never have to look at it. However, I do have a practical side and when given a gift I try to find some way to use it gratefully even if I find it really odd so on second thought I'd probably use it as a guard creature of some sort. I'd stick him out in the yard instead of one of those non-PC lawn jockeys and give him a shotgun to keep trespassers away. He'd have to prove himself trustworthy though, I can't have him shooting at me when I try to pull into my own driveway. Once I am convinced he is a valuable member of my security personnel I'd also give him all the bananas he'd want, or whatever it is he eats. I dunno, with fangs like that I am betting he wants something more than a nanner...maybe Paris Hilton...yes that's it! I will feed him all the vapid celebrities I get sick of reading about in the news when there is real news to be had.
Ya know, Chelmsford, I think this was a useful gift after all. I am beginning to see the beauty in it....but I still don't think I am going to tag anyone else. Just tell me in the comments who you'd like this rabid flying guard monkey to devour to make your world a happier place.