WARNING* Weird Post on Monday

*Do not read this post until you are fully caffeinated if you are the type who needs that sort of thing in the morning. Failure to heed warning may cause severe disorientation, shock, hallucinations, simple chronic hallitosis, skin eruptions, acid reflux, and nervous tics. It is HIGHLY unlikely to result in erections lasting even 4 seconds, let alone 4 hours but one never knows. Should this occur, see me immediately.

Ok, it's not enough that human bloggers tag me, now I have been tagged by Sudiegirl's cat, Chelmsford. And let me say, that cat is weird in its tags. Chelmsford wants to know what I would do with this little lovely if I had it. Where would I put it in my house, what would I do with it, and would it be given a martini glass to hold or something else? Chelmsford thinks this thing is so beautiful he can't live without it. I think Chelmsford is a little touched in the head.

Holy Moses on a pogo stick! My first inclination is to put it in the attic or the crawl space so I never have to look at it. However, I do have a practical side and when given a gift I try to find some way to use it gratefully even if I find it really odd so on second thought I'd probably use it as a guard creature of some sort. I'd stick him out in the yard instead of one of those non-PC lawn jockeys and give him a shotgun to keep trespassers away. He'd have to prove himself trustworthy though, I can't have him shooting at me when I try to pull into my own driveway. Once I am convinced he is a valuable member of my security personnel I'd also give him all the bananas he'd want, or whatever it is he eats. I dunno, with fangs like that I am betting he wants something more than a nanner...maybe Paris Hilton...yes that's it! I will feed him all the vapid celebrities I get sick of reading about in the news when there is real news to be had.

Ya know, Chelmsford, I think this was a useful gift after all. I am beginning to see the beauty in it....but I still don't think I am going to tag anyone else. Just tell me in the comments who you'd like this rabid flying guard monkey to devour to make your world a happier place.