Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Ah logic...

I have been doing battle with the head cold from hell since the end of last week. (I think it's FINALLY going down) In this struggle there are a few indispensable weapons. I gotta have my hot salsa and OJ to eat. I gotta have my Gypsy Cold Care Tea with honey to help my nose. Do NOT expect me to use anything but the softest Puffs tissues (but don't give me the lotion coated ones, they are not very absorbent...yuck). Now for the drugs. I'm allergic to aspirin so it has to be Tylenol. For helping my mucous filled head drain I rely heavily on frequent doses of Sudafed. Now, there has been a recent development in that the original formula for Sudafed contains an ingredient used at meth labs so the stuff has been reformulated to be chemically unsuitable for such uses. Read that as chemically unsuitable for relieving head congestion as well.



Fortunately, I can still get the real deal from behind the counter. The ridiculous thing is now I have to present my driver's license and have my name and address entered in a gigantic volume called the Federal Log for Sales of Pseudephedrine Hydrochloride or some such and then sign my name to it. I am also only allowed to purchase a certain amount in a certain period of time because clearly I am not really tie dyeing in my basement. It's all a clever ruse to throw the authorities off the trail of my meth lab. This ridiculous example of application of the Unpatriotic Act astonishes me (I could rant at length regarding many other more outrageous applications of this law but this is the one that bothers me today) . A little over a year ago I was taking all sorts of narcotic painkillers for an extended period of time due to my inclination to wind up with bones protruding from my forearm after ziplining. At that time and even now, I could give my 14 year old a $20 bill and ask her to go pick up MY refill for narcotics with no problem but as a 38 year old woman, I can't get my own head unblocked without dear old Dubya requiring my ID.



I'm thinking as a responsible and law abiding citizen of this nation I want to make very sure Dubya knows I really needed the Sudafed for legitimate purposes. I'm thinking I should have saved up all my used tissues to mail to him as documentation of my head cold.

17 comments:

TLP said...

YES! I'm on board! Let's all mail our snot rags to Dubya.

Rabbit rabbit, btw.

Beach Bum said...

I've been having some really bad head colds myself this year and understand completely about the pain-in-the-ass federal log. Thank God, Duyba will have to leave office early in 2009 because I shudder to think what he would try to do if he could stay. Hope you feel better, and I am also ready to start mailing snot rags but he might confuse them with his Attorney General.

snowelf said...

I say go for it. To him, it'd be like looking in the mirror because he's such a SNOT!

--snow

lecram sinun said...

Snot rags to the Pres! Not a perfect rhyming couplet but does have a ring to it, huh?

S said...

I knew there was something strange about your bathtub.

I hope you feel better soon Lime.

rose_michelle said...

If it makes you feel better it is much easier pay for it from a civilian pharmacy who requires a blood samples and mouth swabs than it is to get for free from a military pharmacy. I'm sure all that paperwork I had to sign last month was probably enlistment papers ... now that I think about it why would they need my hat and shoe size???

Hope you feel better soon ...

Hypersonic said...

Aha! SO Britain is not the only "nanny-state" in the world then.

Psst, can you get me a line on any righteous acid?

Flash said...

hh, i hate head colds. I'd rather have strep then a bad head cold...makes you feel so icky all day, so sleepy.

i live on day and Night quil during those times...and eat shitloads of soup...

But I don't think it helps any. good thing your on the down swing of it.

Paul Champagne said...

And if Dubya doesn't want your used tissues ... he can always send them to Sheryl Crow (she of the one toilet paper square per potty use) and she can probably find the clean parts of the Puffs to re-use.

Tommy said...

LMAO! I'm soooo sorry you feel like shit babe. If you need the good stuff ... well, I know a guy. Just sayin' Hope you feel better. Talk to you soon.
TG

M said...

I heard on a radio program that the restrictions on buying sudafed are putting the small time meth labs out of business. The major drug cartels are taking over and producing the meth. So now instead of the local cops being able to arrest Bubba and Joe down at the trailer park, the FBI will have to pursue Carlo the Drug Pin dude who can bribe his way out of a conviction or run his cartel from a jail cell.

I hate to be cynical but this type of legislation doesn't help me feel all bright and happy about the world.

anyhow...HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON MICHELLE!

G-Man said...

Pssssst.
Vicks Vapo Rub!!!!

Jocelyn said...

So you stir the salsa into the OJ?

And then tie-dye your used Kleenex with that mixture?

Just trying to track the Life of Lime.

Feel better, hon.

barman said...

Well I look at it if it gets the meth labs out of the neighborhoods then it is a good thing. Otherwise, get rid of the stupid law. I hate having to do that myself. It is no one business. I also hate what they did at the border. I used to live less then 5 miles from the border to Canada. They can, if they so feel like it, require you to produce a passport. I am sorry, I have not had a passport for over 20 years. Of course now if I ever want to go to Canada I best get that passport. Now goods can get across the border easier than people.

Hey feel better. I suffer from sinus problems enough I know just what you are going through. No fun what so ever.

Shari said...

Get well soon.

I get sinus infections a lot. I can always tell when it starts: I get a headache right between the eyeballs. And I start getty sleepy and tired.

Yeah, I hear you on the Suda"FED" thing. I miss getting that over the counter. Mr. Gov't steps in to put a stop to drug use. Like I have a meth lab going on here, too. Geez. Some people spoil it for the rest of us. Thanks a lot. Don't they know that they'll try to find another way or another drug to use instead. Soon everything will have to be signed for. Let's hope not.

Cosima said...

So sorry to hear about your head cold. I know how nasty those can be. Get well soon!

Charles said...

Let's not send those. Wouldn't want to be accused of sending biological agents through the mail. Just lick the envelope so you have a legitimate reason to send it to him. Maybe a paper cut will ensue.