Last night my closest friend came over and we went out to dinner then caught a couple bands at one of the local watering holes. She used to live just a couple blocks from me and we could see each other all the time. When she got married four years ago she moved far away. When she moved it was about a year after my other two closest friends have just moved far away in the previous year. I was reeling to think the last really intimate friend would be gone now too.
I didn't assume it was going to be painful for her too until she came over in tears about her impending relocation. I never assume my absence is felt, it's a defense mechanism leftover from certain painful experiences. I've been busy as a mom, and she has been working full time and going to graduate school as well. Our schedules have not always been easy to jive. Every time we've been able to work out to get together we've cherished. Last night we not only caught up but revisited some of those old feelings. I'm not sure either of us quite understood what the move meant to the other, the fear we both had over what it would mean to our friendship not to have easy access to each other because of our respective difficulties with that. It was good for both of us to be able to look back a few years later and be able to admit what our fears were and yet be able to recognize that our friendship has endured.
There is just so much that we endured together before she moved. There have been some heavy things since then as well. I'm just glad that in our own way we've endured them together. And while I am in no way taking her for granted, I'm counting a certain settled sense that we will be there for each other for a long time to come.
34 comments:
Friends like that are treasures.
My two best friends and I have been separated by location for many years now but there is "something" there we feel when one of us needs the other. It's eery and I'm completely grateful for it.
Yay you! I'm happy to hear that. This is a great post, Lime.
TG
The comfort of knowing is nice, isn't it? Wonderful count!
Friends are hard to find. I have a friend that I have been close to since third grade, a few years ago she re-married and moved a couple counties north of here. We lost touch for almost five years and I finally got directions to her house about two months ago and went to see her.
Glad you had a good time!
I ha da friend like that, but it's come t an end. Congrats for being able to have a person like that in your life.
Ohhh yes,
good friends are definitely worth counting as a blessing.
The ones who get the point without you having to connect all the dots for them,
the ones who know your heart,
the ones who feel your pain and your joy and love you even when you are being an idiot but tell you when you need it.
Kindreds, always worth a count.
It's great when you can get together with friends that you haven't seen in a long time.
Michelle, how could you not know what it would mean for your friend to lose you? I don't even know you, and I'd be lost without your words here.
I might have said it before, so if so, excuse me but: I have a plate on the wall I got from an old friend saying: 'wild flowers always comes back, year after year' :-)
Another thing and I am so excited: I want you over to have A Rockin' Bigger Bang with me!
Oh how fun!
Have a great weekend Lime!
Lime, this is such wonderfully sweet post. You rock Lime! Hugs to you for being who you are. :)
you never know what you had until you lose it...
Of course friendship endures..that is because you do not take your friends for granted being friendly is different... it is not demanding in any sense...
It's a good thing to have a friend like that. My 2 best friends (other than my wife) both live across the country.
And I do hope she reads this post, to know how fully you've considered and articulated her meaning in your life.
You are both so lucky to have a true friendship.
Limey,
I'm sooooo happy for you sweetie.
As you know, I have my best friend Alex, and we go out "Reminiscing" all the time.
Although we don't have Aquanet Parties, we manage to have fun..
I hope you got to Dance a little!!
Have a good one....Galen xox
I left several "best" friends in CA when we moved to PA 34 years ago. I still have them in my life. It's not as wonderful as just calling them up and meeting for coffee, but it's still wonderful.
From my childhood, I have one real friend left. That's a gift. We grew up as kids of ordinary people in a very poor country. To Day our Country is the richest at this planet - thanks to an American company named Phillips. The Socialist parties, now in "charge" - they hate private initiaves and enterprises. I name this: Doubble Moral.
I've moved so many times that it's never been that painful. However, you've switched countries, I've only switched states.
The good thing is with the internet, everyone is close by. :)
My best mate lives about 140km (87 miles) away, but we only see each other about twice a year. One of my best mates from the Navy is 2900km (1800 miles). I hear ya :)
It took me so long to find or even want a friend and now I don't know what I would do without my two best girls. Dont wanna know either...
I'm glad you went out and had a good time :)Great post~
i have a few great friends from many years back. only one of them, i stay in regular contact. my wife and family has replaced my desire to keep close friends.
It's so nice to have a friendship that ignores the miles. Since my dad was in the military we moved a lot, so my mom has a cross stitch in her house that one of her friends made for her that says "A road between a friend's house is never long."
Since I moved here, I miss my closest friends dearly--just being able to grab lunch with the girls during our lunch hour like I used to...that little stuff you can take advantage when you're close by, you really miss it, so I know just how you feel.
hugs,
--snow
It's so hard ro find a good friend and even harder when they have to move. Kudos to you and your friend for always trying to stay close. You need that.
Hey from Seattle.
Lime, my two best friends in the world moved 23 years ago. I know exactly what you say but I make time. I wish I would do more and I wish I could be there now with my friend to do stuff together but I do take that week out every year to do the Derby Festival. And the Festival trip has stopped being about the festival a long time ago and is all about being with friends.
You and your friend are going to be just fine. Glad you were able to catch up and all. I bet it took at least 5 years off of you both.
I keep in touch with my friend too even those i have had in my kinder Garten class!
I am glad that the two of you had such a good time. I know how hard it can be to keep up long-distance friendships. Email and all the other new gadgets help, but nothing replaces meeting once in a while and catching up in person.
thats really nice Lime...me and my best friend Mike hardly see each other these days...but it doesnt matter...when we get together it's like it was a few days ago...
hope yr keeping well babe...!!!
love ya xxx
Lime, your comment on my book post cracked me up. :)
Great post. Sorry that she's going. I feel your pain, too. When we moved from Charleston to Minnesota we left behind a large number of the best friends either me or my wife ever had. Can't replace them, either. But it's better than not having had those friendships at all.
Great post Michelle! Good friends are so important and I'm glad you and your friend have reconnected and can count on each other.
LIME!
(((HUGS)))
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