*image from http://www.girlfriendsunlimitednj.com/
Last night my closest friend came over and we went out to dinner then caught a couple bands at one of the local watering holes. She used to live just a couple blocks from me and we could see each other all the time. When she got married four years ago she moved far away. When she moved it was about a year after my other two closest friends have just moved far away in the previous year. I was reeling to think the last really intimate friend would be gone now too.
I didn't assume it was going to be painful for her too until she came over in tears about her impending relocation. I never assume my absence is felt, it's a defense mechanism leftover from certain painful experiences. I've been busy as a mom, and she has been working full time and going to graduate school as well. Our schedules have not always been easy to jive. Every time we've been able to work out to get together we've cherished. Last night we not only caught up but revisited some of those old feelings. I'm not sure either of us quite understood what the move meant to the other, the fear we both had over what it would mean to our friendship not to have easy access to each other because of our respective difficulties with that. It was good for both of us to be able to look back a few years later and be able to admit what our fears were and yet be able to recognize that our friendship has endured.
There is just so much that we endured together before she moved. There have been some heavy things since then as well. I'm just glad that in our own way we've endured them together. And while I am in no way taking her for granted, I'm counting a certain settled sense that we will be there for each other for a long time to come.