Friday, October 05, 2007

Da Count-Opportunity

I have two teenagers and a twelve year old. Diana and Calypso are pretty sure they have all of life figured out, as befits their age. Of course, Diana let me know when she was 3 that she knew more than I did. I kid you not. Calypso just knows I can't possibly understand what it is like to be 14 because I came from the womb with gray hair. Isaac is just entering the irascible know-it-all stage. I understand this is all normal. I remember being sure my parents were complete idiots. Now it's my turn and my own abhorrent stupidity and ignorance as a parent grows by the day. When my IQ finally bottoms out I might still be able to dress and feed myself with minimal assistance, if I am lucky.

Now and again when the planets are properly aligned and the tide of raging hormones ebbs temporarily one of my offspring approaches me with a question or for advice. I quickly steady myself before the massive shift knocks me completely off balance. With luck, the Earth turns slowly enough on its axis that the seeker of knowledge actually remains in my presence and open enough to hear my response.

Such was the case last night when Calypso and I were in the kitchen as I tidied up and she made brownies. She asked for clarification on something she had heard and expressed her concerns about it being inappropriate. We talked about it for a while with her asking several more questions and letting me know it was something she'd been thinking about for a long time but was a little afraid to bring up. It was not an issue I was at all upset about but I was impressed that she wanted to evaluate it and not take it blindly. I told her I respected her desire to think things through. Later on she wanted help interpreting a couple poems for English class and we had some more discussion with substance. When she was finished and headed to bed she let me give her a big hug.

At first glance it was an evening of mundane activities but for me it was a rare and welcome opportunity much worth counting.

31 comments:

barman said...

Horray for those special moments. You know one day they will be back. Calling up asking for laundry advice or how to make something or want to talk to they are worried they are seriously ill or any of numous other things.

I think it is just fortunate as parents you yourself have already went through what they are going through. You may or may not be rusty on what it was like but you where there. The way you two talked and the questions she asked I think you are doing an awesome job raising the pups.

I think this one counts as a BIG ONE.

tsduff said...

"I came from the womb with gray hair"

Ha ha - wasn't everyone over 30 born that way? Seriously though, what a neat opportunity you had with your daughter to chat and actually exchange ideas and information in an ernest way. Nice stories like that about the age of 14 are heartwarming :)

Beach Bum said...

Calypso sounds like a very smart young lady. And its also sounds like Mr. Lime and you are doing a great job as parents. Such intelligent thoughtful behavior from a young person just does not pop out from thin air.

But on a lighter note I can tell now that my 11 year old son is also entering the "irascible know-it-all stage". I've taken to regularly praying again for strength.

Theresa said...

I'll be coming to you for advice. My oldest is 12, and we are afraid of what is to come. Looks like you are doing a great job. I only hope mine will come to me with their questions when they get to that age. :)

lecram said...

I'll say it was totally worth counting. Moments like those do deserve the quiet smile, don't they?

snowelf said...

Awww!! You must feel like the best mom in the world today. I totally hope my chilis can come to me like that.

--snow

S said...

LOL Snowelf calls her kids chilis! Thats so cute!

Hey arent you supposed to be on a plane?

Have fun and remember what I said LOL
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EARLY!

yES YES you hear that everyone...next week. so get ready!

KaMotion said...

Connecting with your offspring in meaningful ways. Lovely count.

RennyBA said...

Thats what I call quality time with your child - count your blessing. Isn't is great just to be there - for them - at the time they want to clarify things? Parenthood isn't that bad all the time :D

Wishing you and the rest of the family a lovely end to your week

Jeni said...

Having been down that road what seems now to have been a century ago with my three kids and actually managing somehow to survive with some tiny bit of sanity, I can tell you this when a moment like that happens, mark it on the calendar so you can remember the event. Also, you can chart each time one takes place and see if there is any type of pattern developing too when one -or more -may decide you have a few smarts left in ya after all and then you could write a mega great book on plotting great parenting skills or something of that ilk. Probably would make millions with said book like that too, come to think of it.

SignGurl said...

*I bow down to the queen*

Any woman that can get her teenager to have a reasonable conversation with her, it tops in my book.

Tommy said...

Awwwwwwwwwww. How sweet. You letting them think they are lulling you into a false sense of security before they go completely ape-shit, nutso bonkers on your ass. I bet you would even feign that they did indeed knock your sanity into the next universe but one. I mean that is what you're doing, right? You do know this is a setup, right? I mean, Jesus woman, I sent you the freaking manual. Look on page 2749, paragraph 164, subsection 10,952, appendices A, D, Q, X, Y and DD. God ... do I gotta do everything for you? Toodles!

Charles said...

Sounds like its working to me. You're awesome. These are the moments we get confirmation that our children are our blessings.

Lolly said...

You are amazing. And your IQ has a long, long way before it bottoms out.

Shari said...

Like you, I hope that my kids find it easy to approach me for some advice or thoughts. My 13 yo can be hot-headed. Whew.

You are doing well. She already knows she can come to you for feedback. :)

Cosima said...

I hope my son will do that too, when he becomes a teenager. He loves to talk to me about his day at school, and also tells me little wisdoms he has picked up along the way. And yes, he thinks that he has it all figured out... lol

That was a wonderful Da Count :).

Cheesy said...

Having all 5 of my kids before I was 24 was my saving grace. We raised each other and seemed to have formed a bond that allows us to ask each other anything. But I totally get the "born old" reference. My youngest boy thinks he remembers events from the womb. What can a mommers say when a wee one tells you about schtuff like that? Kids~~ ya gotta luv um~~ for they are not crunchy and good with ketchup....

Rebicmel said...

This is totally one of those awesome moments to be written down so that when things arise you will have something fond to refer back to. I love it when these situations happen and they are not often with our teenagers. (((Hugs))) to you.

Paul Champagne said...

I know exactly what you mean ... It is a rare and happy day when we get to actually interact with our kids.

smilnsigh said...

Dear Lady Of Lime, I want you to know I am duly impressed! I just found that you have received a Weekly Blog Award in this author's blog. Pretty 'heady,' I must say! :-)

Of course, you probably know all about this and I'm the 'zillionth' one to mention it here, in a comment. But so be it. I'm impressed and I'm telling you so. :-)

Mari-Nanci

G-Man said...

A hug is worth a thousand words!!
Thats awesome Michelle!!
What a great moment in History!!
xoxoxox

Boysenberry said...

MissB is heading toward the "Don't you know anything!" phase at a great rate of knots. I'll be using your glimpse of these beautiful moments to get me through :)

TLP said...

Apparently you have gotten a lot smarter lately.

This is a lovely and loving post. Makes me feel warm all over. (And I'm so over hot flashes.)

cindra said...

As the mother of a 15 year old female, I completely picked up what you were puttin' down, sister. Beautiful.

KFarmer said...

I'm glad you had a happy moment with your sweetie. It's obvious (whether she will admit it or not) that your opinion is valuable to her (: just as you are :)

Oh what we mama's must survive...

Palm Springs Savant said...

Wow Lime, that is very cool, you have a real thinker on your hands there. Love the story about Diana knowing more than you..who knows, maybe she has some sort of divine intelligence that you don't know about. I'm still not sure about the who reincarnation thing, but imagine if it is true? Diana could be Albert Einstein reincarnated or something. Inthe meantime, just let her think she is!

Flash said...

A perfect evening it sounds like.

I can't wait to have kids to bestow my vast knowledge or random and useless crap onto...

MONA said...

The power of touch is more than a million words. You seem to be doing excellent parenting job!

have a good time Lime. I hope you have a great day on Friday!

Charles said...

I stole the meme from you and SnowElf. For the convenience of those who might also like to 'steal' it, I put a copy of the questions without answers in my post, under the "Read Full Post." link of the post.

Grumpy said...

The 'know-it-all' stage is the best time for making home movies for later distribution.

:)

Joeprah said...

I think it would be better if you described yourself as a womb with gray hair...that would be awesome! That is how I first read that line for some reason. Either way really cool. Also, good story ;)

Hugs rule!