Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tender, Tasty, Juicy Breasts

*image from http://www.wiseacre-gardens.com/buttons/foghorn.html


Yesterday I shared a wonderful little recipe with you all. In it I mentioned sharing a story about chicken breasts today. Do you remember the little overnight, girls-only getaway I went on not long ago? Among other topics, there was discussion about recipes during which one lady interjected, "My husband cannot eat chicken breasts without thinking of Michelle's breasts!" Every head in the room whipped around in her direction and an explanation was demanded.

Several years ago she and her husband bought a farmhouse and the surrounding 11 acres. Her husband got into his head that he wanted to raise his own livestock for meat and eggs. Among other critters he had a bunch of chickens and butchering day came. He decided he wanted to have a chicken Barbeque to share with friends. We all headed over and in order to get through the process efficiently we set up an assembly line to get the job done. One person killed the chicken, one plucked, another gutted, and it was my job to cut up the birds into various parts. Our host gave me the knives he had available and I looked them over trying to decide which one was going to do the best job since none of them were terribly sharp. The fellow wondered if my hesitation indicated I was unsure as to how to cut up a chicken and asked, "Do you know how to split the breasts?"

Without missing a beat, I looked at him and replied, "Yes, I lay on my back and they slide right into my armpits. It's like the parting of the Red Sea."

UPDATE: I am such a doofus sometimes....I meant to provide a link to a recipe Zombieslayer posted yesterday. His recipe would make a really dandy dessert to the sandwich I posted yesterday so run on over there and give it a looksee.

34 comments:

Casdok said...

I will now think of Michelle's breasts when cutting up a chicken!
Cheers!!

Jeni said...

OMG! I can totally relate to that "parting."

G-Man said...

As someone who has met you in person, and as someone who has had them pressed firmly and tightly against my hulking frame. I can honestly say that they are indeed magnificent, but hardly of biblical proportions!!!
It was a Great Line though!!
My father-in-law used to raise poultry, and I can honestly say that after killing and butchering up a chicken, I couldn't eat one for a week.
The smell just seemed to stay in your nose for a long time.
Grrrrrrrrrr
Now Your breasts are all I'm gonna think about all day!!!

1. KFC...Michelle's breasts
2. Victoria's Secret..Michelle's breasts
3. Unwanted Telemarketer's phone call..Michelle's breasts
4. Huge piles of snow..Michelle's breasts
5..Fox News...Michelle's breasts
6..(get the picture?)

xoxox

barman said...
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barman said...

Oh good god, how could someone feed YOU a straight line like that? I wonder if it dawned on him what he had done as he said it? I will never look at chickens the same way again. *snicker*

Yep, no question where your daughter gets her wit from.

M said...

Ha! Don't you love those moments that friends can re-live and laugh about for years?

M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SignGurl said...

Michelle, you are killing me here! Totally hilarious!

Apple said...

ROFLMAO! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

lol, that is too funny. way to think on your feet (about being on your back.) :D

airplanejayne said...

I.
Love.
It.

:)
Moses ain't got nuttin on Michelle....


thanks for starting my day off fabulously.

furiousBall said...

I say, I say now boy, you'll never learn nothin' with your nose in those breasts now boy.

witnessing am i said...

A doofus perhaps, but a very funny woman indeed.

S said...

Oh god I am glad I do not ever cut up chicken! Thats Ratburns job.

You so funny.

Seamus said...

Laffin'MAO!!!! That was a terrific comeback!

tsduff said...

Good comeback! I've been through the butchering/plucking/cleaning/ and eating process of chickens - gotta love em, but I know I wouldn't have been able to come up with a funny comment like that. I relate though, about the splendid "splitting" (see my recent post of older women tanning)

Bunny said...

LOL - I'm totally with you on that breast-splitting maneuver!

Now I also will not be able to cut up chicken breasts without thinking of your breasts! Not such a bad thing, really . . .

:-)

Mona said...
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Mona said...

That is so funny!

LOL @ G man!

Cooper said...

I've never tried putting chicken breasts under my arm pits. Is that a special marinade? Bet that's probably illegal in Idaho...

~Tim said...

I'm a failure as a chicken farmer. I still don't know if I was planting them too deep or too close together....


nyuk nyuk nyuk

Liquid said...

Hysterical!
Thank you, I needed a good laugh this evening!

Theresa said...

I will never be able to part a chicken breast again without laughing. My husband will think I'm crazy, and if I tell him why he might think something even stranger. That is the first time I've ever heard the word "breasts" in conjunction with the Red Sea...now that's quite an image. :)

Moosekahl said...

I think I might have a new image when I'm cooking now too :) At least it is one that will make me smile. Take care of yourself!

Joeprah said...

Sounds like I am back at a playgroup. Ladies always cut those jokes around me, but that one was perfect with the timing. I would also rather read it for humor purposes, LOL.

Beach Bum said...

I must admit that such a comeback would have probably sent my feeble brain into a shut down mode. I just would not know how to respond to something like that.

Lime, thanks for your kind words at my site. Feeling a little better now and trying to get back in gear.

jillie said...

I was a good thing that I didn't have anything in my mouth otherwise it would be all over my screen. That is HILARIOUS!

Breazy said...

LMAO! The comment about parting like the Red Sea was great!

Sorry I am here late but it has been one of those days.

Have a good one!

david mcmahon said...

I'm too ``chicken'' to comment!!!

Monique said...

I will never think of chicken breasts the same again.

Mushy said...

That's hilarious...and the title should bring you lots of hits!

daryl e said...

Oh that's priceless .. David sent me .. he said your post was funny, he just didnt say why .. :D

Kathryn said...

Classic! That is hilarious!
Came over from David's blog. :)

Maddy said...

I am well behind! You have had a traumatic week. Hope this one is smoother.
Best wishes