Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Weird Wednesday-Spam Spam Spam Spam!

Every now and then I take a look in my SPAM filter before I dump it. Just to make sure I am not missing something that was inadvertently filtered. Here is some of what I found...

Phonesai Zeroes tells me, "Give girls what they want with your long hard instrument."
Oh yeah, baby! I love a man who knows what to do with a trombone.

Williams P. Short reassures me that I can have convenient and private ordering for my penis enhancement drugs.
I'm thinking with a name like Willie Short he may want to take advantage of his own offers.

Totally Satisfied offers me great deals on replica purses, watches, and pens.
I would have figured she'd be selling Willie's goods. Purses, watches, and pens? Are these euphemisms?

OOfun Valentines tells me I can send Balloon Grams for the holiday.
So given all the other SPAM is this a reference to colorful latex or mylar novelties filled with helium or are they wanting to inflate something else?

Colin Powell asks, "Why be an average guy any longer?" The body of the email isn't advertising but it's a weird rambling thing that I believe is supposed to sound somewhat erotic.
All I can say is if Colin Powell has taken to directly marketing his erotic imaginings to the unsuspecting public our country is in bigger trouble than I thought.

23 comments:

Casdok said...

:( All my spam is boring!

barman said...

I get some interesting stuff but nothing like Willies offer...

It would appear that you are a guy, who knew?

By the way, if you ever need an offer for viagra I am sure I have an offer or two trapped in my spam filter.

S said...

Mine are ALL for penis enlargement.
LOL

Maddy said...

I've never checked mine that thoroughly! Maybe I should.
Cheers

furiousBall said...

i'd just like them to combine them, then i can get a better mortgage rate for my penis

Hypersonic said...

Mine are all for penis enlargments too. Is God trying to tell me something?

Now I won't sleep.

Suldog said...

Ah, yes, the endless penis-enlargement spams. Every day, I have at least 10 in my box.

(That would be a funnier comment coming from a woman, of course.)

I'm amused at how many in our culture must think they have a problem, in order for there to be so many spammers who think they can do business. Just a shame.

airplanejayne said...

Okay - I TOO get penis enlargement crap in my spam filter. Hel-LO!?!?!? Kindly please let a penis or two thru, I say....

M said...

the spam is hilarious!! and it seems totally focused on male gentalia..(did I spell that correctly?) Currently my internet is down at home so I have not had the pleasure of clearing out my spam box for a few days.

Bunny said...

My spam is a glorious smorgasbord of penis enhancement, educational opportunities (as if overeducation isn't already my problem), and offers to introduce me to big-breasted women. Apparently someone out there is quite concerned about my colon health, as well, because I get a lot of email about colon cleansing. I didn't even know it was dirty!

jillie said...

Yeah, I get some pretty STOOOOOOPID stuff myself. Just want I need, something to make my absent schlong even longer and harder....DUH!!!!

LOL....

;o)

Jeni said...

As much as I hated "peoplepc.com" the former dial-up isp I was dealing with till I got the broadband two beautiful weeks ago, I have not had ANY of that type of spam since I left the ISP prior to peoplepc.com. Evidently they have a very good anti-spam set-up because I don't have any filters on my e-mail for spam. Guess I best look into that with the new broadband then huh? Anyone care to explain how to set filters up anyway?

Mona said...

what a brilliant interpretations of spam :D

I never read spam , I just hit delete!

Queenie said...

Gosh Lime they are a bloody nightmare, to tell you the truth I've even thought of giving it all up because of them. Whats this spam detector you have , can I do it???????

Beach Bum said...

One spam got through the other day from some guy in India saying that if I send him my bank account number he can transfer funds from his country, where he is in great danger,allowing him to leave and come live in the US. Of course he writes I will be allowed a huge fee for helping him in his times of troubles. And here i thought all those types lived in Nigeria.

gab said...

I just love how they assume that your a man. Or is it the fact that they want to to get it for your man? either way if you dont have a man then what are you suppose to do with it?LOL

G-Man said...

Psssst Lime.
Foreward that one OK?
G

Diesel said...

I'm finding the the guitar to be a pretty hard instrument. But I won't be an average guy much longer!

david mcmahon said...

Great idea for a post, Lime!!

Rurality said...

Snort. Willie Short?! Good grief!

Osbasso said...

I KNEW you had a thing for trombonists!

Martin said...

HA! Thanks for the funny porn names.

This especially tickles my funny bone since I just wrote a blog post about a full-length work of porn fiction which turned up in my comments spam, which I subsequently published in part on my site.

The URL is noted above as my website if you're bored and fancy a read.

take care,

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