Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Weird Books

I found this contest last year and looked forward to the announcement of nominees this year. the Bookseller has not disappointed. Here I reprint the brief announcement and add my own commentary.

The polls are open in the annual balloting for the Diagram Prize, honoring the world’s oddest book title, Agence France-Presse reported. Conducted by The Bookseller, a British trade magazine, the vote at asks participants to choose from six mostly nonfiction titles on the shortlist, culled from titles submitted by publishers, bookstore workers and librarians around the world. The nominees are...

“I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen” by Jasper McCutcheon (The true life story ripped from the headlines of Weekly World News and the National Enquirer? Special forward by the miraculous Batboy.)

“How to Write a How to Write Book” by Brian Paddock (This one has also been nominated for the Confusing Redundancy Award)

“Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues” by Catharine A. MacKinnon (I thought we already covered this with an interplanterary scope when "Men Are from Mars, Woman Are from Venus" was published.)

“Cheese Problems Solved” edited by P. L. H. McSweeney (Gees! I missed the first volume "Cheese Problems Defined." I've got a lot of catching up to do with all this unruly cheese running around.)

“If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs” by Big Boom (Brought to you by the Sex as a Weapon, Frigid Wives United, and Abstinence Only Advocacy Group. And with a name like Big boom I'd not be expecting this sort of advice, unless of course it refers to the sound of thighs closing forcefully.)

“People Who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Doctor Feelgood” by Dee Gordon. (Doctor Feelgood has been commissioned to write a rock opera celebrating their fellow significant Southenders.)

The winner is to be announced on March 28. The prize has been offered since 1978, when the winner was “Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice.”

Which one has your vote? What's the weirdest book you've ever read? Any titles to suggest?


G-Man said...

"Tastykakes Give Me a Boner"...By Woody Harrelson.
A little known book showing the actors literary side...

Mona said...

hehehe... Those ARE such hilariously funny titles & the 'parenthetical supplies' are even funnier.

Lime, the most funny title book I read was in Hindi called " Mast Ram Masti Mein Aag Lage Girhastee Mein " [ Translated as : The man called Mast Ram" was so much involved in lust that he did not notice his house burn to ashes]

There are some famous funny book titles I have heard about!

"Shit On The Wall" : By Chinese writer Who Flung Dung

" Invention of Bra " By two Chinese women writers Hung Hi & Hung Lo

" The Unwanted Bastard" By F.L. Burst

Ps> Thank you for the peanut butter recipe It is SOOO YUMMY!!

KFarmer said...

OMG! Rolling! Those titles are too funny. I vote for "I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen :)

furiousBall said...

I actually watched the movie last night, "A Clockwork Orange"

Anonymous said...

These are amazing. I would venture to say that I bet the "How to Write a How to Book" did quite well in sales.

Oh lordy.

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

Hands down: “I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen” has my vote. :D

Anonymous said...

I'm with Mr James Goodman. The Pygmy Love Queen had my attention.

LOL! Good Post Lovely Lime!

Suldog said...

Yay! They solved the cheese problems! I've been on the edge of my seat.

jillie said...

I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love there's a fantasy just WAITING to happen...OMG.

Those are some funny titles there lime ;o))

Thanks for the laugh

Keyser Soze said...

I can't believe no one has yet said "The Bible" although frankly the Koran is even weirder in my estimation. "My imaginary friend says if you don't believe in him we must kill you. Die infidel, die!"

/aisle seat on the plane to hell please

SignGurl said...

I stole these, but they were too good not to share:

40 Yards to the Latrine by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont
50 years in the saddle by Major Asburn
A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore
A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel
A Great Plenty by E. Nuff
A Stitch in Time by Justin Case
A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt
A Trip to the Dentist by Yin Pain
A Whole Lot of Cats by Kitt N. Caboodle
Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights
Advanced Maths by Smart E. Pants
After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate

david mcmahon said...

So you've brought 'em to book!!

Bunny said...

I did a post on these a while back. Just bizarro names for books. The Catherine MacKinnon one doesn't surprise me though. Just the sort of thing we would have read in my gender studies class in law school (called Law and Lesbos by the less-evolved members of the class of '93).

M said...

bunny: seriously, the class was called Law and Lesbos?!
Catherine MacKinnon sounds vaguely familar ...oh wait...yeah, she was a professor up at Univ of Michigan when I was living in Ann Arbor and I sat in on a lecture or speech she was giving. I thought she rocked! I am sure if she wins this contest it will be the most impressive award of her entire career. she can put it on her resume (or curricular vitae or whatever they call it in the world of academia)

Beach Bum said...

I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen has my vote. I must admit that one of the reason I didn't mind grocery shopping was because I got to read the Weekly World News at the checkout. And yes, I believe Elvis is alive and living with JFK.

Breazy said...

I am going to go with Cheese Problems Solved because I didn't know that we even had cheese problems!

Have a good day!