Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Perplexing Things

Not that long ago I had 32 teaspoons. I had two sets with service for 8 and Mr. Lime's aunt gave me 16 more from another set she was getting rid of. I now have only 15 teaspoons to my name. No one in my house seems to have any reasonable explanation as to the location of the missing teaspoons. (Why does this entry sound like a word problem?)

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Just 4 weeks ago Isaac had 12 pair of underwear to his name. After doing all the laundry we seem to be able to locate 7 pair. Have the missing 5 pair run away with the 17 missing teaspoons? I thought the dish ran away with the spoon. I reckon it was the boxer briefs instead.

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What does it mean if mushrooms in your refrigerator grow mold? Two forms of fungi in one spot. Who knew? It's a strange thing but not nearly as revolting as the cucumber skin which collapsed in my hand revealing the innards to be completely liquefied.


What perplexes you?

47 comments:

G-Man said...

They are with the 14 single sox that have no mates in our house!!!!
We need to go on a recon mission Trini...Grrrrrr

G-Man said...

...awwww poor Mona sloppy seconds!
HA!!!

barman said...

I wrote this post a couple of years ago about missing socks and underwear. However this one had a happy ending.

How on earth you are missing so many spoons? Sure someone is not selling them on eBay?

barman said...

Michelle... G-man is being mean!

lime said...

gman, i am convinced that missing socks transmogrify into wire hangers.

bryan, i read that post of yours. i want to tumble into the land of lost things and find my marbles

Cosima said...

A few months ago I had only three teaspoons left. Then I caught myself throwing a teaspoon in the trash and putting the empty yogurt cup into the sink. May that be an explanation for phenomena number one? And how come ugly Lufthansa cutlery that my Dad nicked is still here, while the expensive, nice stuff is long gone?

RiverPoet said...

Methinks you have gremlins!

What perplexes me is that my kitchen still has so much stuff in it, even after both of my kids have moved out and taken stuff with them. Weird...

Peace - D

Sheri said...

Your spoons have probably gone to the same place my $25 whisk went.... which is the same place where my favorite seam ripper went. grrrr Why can't I lose the dollar store egg seperator? Why does it have to be my favorite things I can't find? I found 3 mismatched socks UNDER the bed the other day. I asked Gary if one can make it to the hamper... why can't both of them? wtf????

lime said...

cosima, likewise, the newer teaspoons are the ones that have the most missing. i still have the ugly ones. and yes, i think my children have thrown some spoons away...but 17 of them???

river poet, so does that mean there is hope these things will reappear after my kids grow up and move out?

lime said...

sheri, the gremlins have expensive taste. as for 50% of the socks making it into the basket, this is another of life's great questions.

KFarmer said...

Reading glasses. I know bought 7 pair in the last year and now I'm lucky to find two. The worst is walking around for 15 minutes looking for a pair only to find they're perched on my punkin head... ;)

And taters...why are they only lasting a week in the bin before turning STINKY & SMELLY? gag...

Craver Vii said...

Transmogrify is a real word? I thought at first that you made it up.

furiousBall said...

i swear i don't have your teaspoons

TLP said...

LOL. Funny post. I think spoons get thrown away by accident. Unless a person has kids young enough to take them into the yard to use for digging. I threw away a very pricey knife once! When I couldn't find it later, I figured out how that had happened -- too late to get it back. *sob*

What perplexes me? How in the hell an ounce of perception can be worth more than a pound of substance. That bites.

Desmond Jones said...

We are constantly finding teaspoons at random locations scattered around our backyard - I think the kids must take 'em out to the sandbox, or something.

Molly is now on her third pair of heavy-duty kitchen scissors ($60, fer cryin' out loud!). One time a missing pair turned up buried in the compost pile. . .

I just figure as long as I have kids in my house, nothing is safe. . .

Kathryn said...

I have a WHOLE DRAWER of my hubby's single black socks that I am hoping to someday find their matches. I highly doubt it.

Jeni said...

Ever heard of CUTCO knives? They're really great knives with a pretty stiff price tag, in case you haven't heard of 'em before. Well, Well, a long, long time ago -like 40 some years now -I bought a full set of these knives which included a set of 12 steak knives. Somewhere, back in the 80's every single one of these steak knives disappeared. Then about 12 years ago, I got a demo set of CUTCO knives (was going to be a sales rep for them ya know) and wouldn't you just know it but the trimmer knife from my original set and the one from the demo set along with the one steak knife from the demo set have also now disappeared! The original steak knives that left home, I attributed their leaving to my son -using them for who knows what and are probably buried somewhere in my yard. But the last three that skipped out, no one has clue one as to where they went. Figures someone here would toss the most expensive stuff into the garbage can though I suppose. ARRGH!

Mona said...

O lime! You speak of my problem! I really don't know how those things seem to disappear of the clothes line. & can you imagine, someone stole my leopard print Victoria Secret bra & panties set from the clothes line!

& all the boxers & vests & handkerchiefs seem to just vanish like that. Leave alone the small clothing, I have even lost Jeans & shirts & T shirts!

Now , after reading this post, I realized that I never counted how many spoons I have!

But I know that someone stole a whole steel dinner set from my attic & then some hardware, like door hinges & bolts & knobs & also a whole box of electric fittings like switch boards & switches & plugs & fan regulators. & also some electroplated bathroom fittings!

I think it was one of my servant who was doing this. I had to kick him out finally!

He also stole a small gas stove & an electric table fan & Now I find that my sewing machine is also missing! I must lock up my store!

lime said...

kfarmer, yikes on the glasses. as for the taters, i can't figure that one out either!

craver, if you ever read calvin & hobbes cartoons calvin built a "transmogrifier" out of a cardboard box. i looked it up and it is an actual word. fun one, no?

furiousball, says the guy stirring his coffee like a fiend. ;)

tlp, oh honey, if you EVER sort out that thing that perplexes you, PLEASE get back to me on is ASAP, ok?

desmond, maybe my kids dug a hole to michigan instead of china and all the spoons from my kitchen are popping up in your backyard.

kathryn, hope springs eternal, doesn't it?

jeni, ack, that's a darned lot of knives that have gone missing!

lime said...

mona, egads! it sounds like you've got to nail down anything you don't want walking away.

Cocotte said...

We are always missing steak knives and I'm sure they are being tossed in the trash with the pork chop bones or something.

What perplexes me is why people in my house are so lazy. Too many examples to even get into. But let's just say we have 8 wastebaskets in the home and people still leave trash around.

S said...

Blogger at my comment.

The spoons are outside in my yard. Little Rita took them to dig with. Yes, she has ALL of them.

As for the undies...Mr Ratburn assures me that you do NOT want to find the "lost undies" of a 13 year old boy.
:D

Craver Vii said...

It is on account of mysteries like these, that "42" makes even a smidgeon of sense, as the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

And as far as socks go, I like to occasionally purchase a whole bunch of the exact same kind. That way, there is no matching necessary.

If there were such a thing as an alternate universe, do you suppose they would find extra socks in their dryers?

barman said...

Mona, I saw a pair of leopard print unmentionables hanging on the radio antena of a pizza delivery car once. Part of the mystery might now be solved. Don't ask me how it made it to Michigan however.

Suldog said...

We have the same damn thing at our place! Teaspoons just vanish somehow. I thought we were nuts (well, we are, I guess, but that has nothing to do with this.) Anyway, I'm glad to hear someone else tell of this phenomenon.

The other thing we puzzle over is why the recliner seems to edge closer and closer to the television even though neither of us has moved it. Obviously, it has something to do with it being closed as you exit it - it must slide imperceptibly on the hardwood - but it would seem to me that the motion it makes while closing would make it slide BACKWARD, not forward. Oh, well. You've got enough of your own troubles, what with the undies going south.

lecram said...

Beautiful women who hate the way they look... dumbfounding!

74WIXYgrad said...

I got it figured out. The teaspoons and boxer briefs somehow got together and mutated into killer mushrooms, teleporting themselves into your fridge. Their killer spores then attacked the cucumber, causing it to liquidfy.

lime said...

cocotte, we have similar problems in this house too

s, LMAO@ ratburn and thank him for his insight on the matter for me.

craver, 42! *dope slap to my head* why didn't i think of that?

barman, there's a leaopard print thong crime ring spanning the globe

suldog, dang, you people don't even have kids stealing your cutlery for yard play so that's REALLY perplexing. i'd beware of that recliner. i suspect it is going to glom someone sitting in it one day.

lecram, good one!

74WIXY, you, sir, are a genius! mystery solved! well done!

S said...

Im still in shock that Mona had leopard print unmentionables. I've never seen a Vickys in India, ever!

~Tim said...

If it takes a day and a half for a hen and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a cucumber? (This assumes that the cucumber is not the liquefied skinless one from your fridge....)

G-Man said...

Dear Mona,
If you ever want to see your Leopard Print undies again, leave 500 rupee's in an envelope under the Welcome Mat at Hashi's Tandori Bar and Grill Friday morning.....X

San said...

Michelle, the following items have vanished from my kitchen--a VERY LARGE dessert plate. Maybe IT ran away with your spoons. A knife and a salad fork. Most troubling of all--a beautiful handwoven dishtowel a good friend bought for me when she and I visited the Ghost Ranch Museum together. Now, I cannot imagine any of my recent guests have been going through my kitchen drawers and taking home samples. But I have searched high and low and I have looked into the eyes of every member of my household and asked them what's up. No one has an answer. It makes me crazy!!!!!

(M)ary said...

how does one shoe out of a pair end up across the room or in another room?
i think my boy cat is the culprit. he loves his shoes.

SignGurl said...

My kids throw them away on accident when they clear their plates into the trash. At least that's what I think happens.

Seamus said...

32 teaspoons of what, pray tell?

coopernicus said...

why do we drive on the parkway but park in the driveway.

French.

Beach Bum said...

For me its pens and spoons as well. Can't keep a pen that is worth a damn since as I am taking a message from some a phone call they go out right when I begin writing but work fine after once I have hung up the phone and forgotten the caller's meassage.

Spoon are a whole other matter I figure there is a wormhole from another planet opening and closing in that particular kitchen drawer. Tiny aliens come out and are taking the spoons as raw materials for their conquest of earth.

citizen of the world said...

Hey diddle diddle
the cat and the fiddle,
the underpants ran away with the spoons.

See, it was foretold.

Moosekahl said...

Thankfully my happy socks have never turned up without a pair but then again, I could wear an orange one with a multicolor one. After all, they are tie dyed!

I would like to know where the lids to all my tupperware containers go..including real tupperware, the cheap tupperware, the butter container recycled as tupperware. Where the heck do the lids go to?

EmBee said...

I had the same conversation with myself regarding FORKS today... I seem to have three times as many spoons as I do forks... How did that happen? And how did the cucumber I threw away last week show up in your fridge?
:-)

Mona said...

Barman: My leopard prints being used as flags!!!!

Susie! I bought them from the VS shop at an LA Mall, & they ARE available in India. You have to go to the right places for them.

G man, Rs 500 does not even start describing their cost. I remember, the pair cost me $ 75 ! I would be uber glad if I get them back for that amount!

Fred said...

How about all those socks that disappear in the washer? Where do they go?

lime said...

s, maybe you weren't looking in the right places

tim, now THAT is perplexing

gman, you went all the way to india for a panty raid eh?

san, i feel better knowing i am not the only one who employs interrogation tactics in trying to solve these mysteries

mary, i am definitely betting on one of your critters

signgurl, yep, i think that must happen here too. irks me

seamus, 32 teaspoons of sugah, honey ;)

coopernicus, je ne sais quoi

beach bum, oh yeah the pens go missing around here too. in the summer when i tear the kids' rooms apart while they are at camp, i find all the pens and then some, like they multiplied as the result of some sort of pen orgy in the recesses of my kids' rooms

citizen, just how mother goose envisioned it!

moose, i am so glad the happy socks are safely paired. plastic lids, another excellent question!

embee, the cuke must have grown legs and crawled up to my place

mona, i got some cheap knock off leopard print bra & undies and i finally got rid of them because i never liked how they fit.

fred, i'm telling ya, the missing socks transmogrify into wire hangers.

barman said...

This is real late but here goes anyway. I think I have a business idea. If we get a few people together I am sure we can market it and make millions.

You know those metal detectors at airports and big sporting events. How about we make something that mounts along side the trash bin that goes off when ever something like a spoon is tossed away. I think we could be bagillionaires.

bookbinder said...

I wonder why the lazy susan that started with 32 storage containers in four different sizes is down to only two small ones.

(M)ary said...

Mrs Lime: I am betting it is one of my critters moving the shoes around too. Because if it isn't then it is me, taking one shoe off, walking around, taking the other shoe off then completely forgetting that I have done that.

airplanejayne said...

perhaps the chonies are spooning....


hahahahahahahaha!