Friday, January 30, 2009

Friday 55 & Da Count-Growth

FRIDAY 55


Petite reflection of my younger self twirls to the music only she can hear,
sings the song from her own soul,
invites the wallflower to dance with her,
bestows her smile like the sun when clouds part.
Forget your sadness.
Join the dance.
When her own steps falter sing her sweet song back to her.



DA COUNT

That 55 is one I wrote for Calypso about 2 years ago when she was having a touch time navigating difficulties with friends and it was taking a toll on her.

This past week Calypso and I have had some very good conversations. She has sometimes struggled to make good choices with regard to the people she gives her heart to, whether they are boys or girls. She is the one who friends go to when they are having problems because they know she will listen and offer support. She also has a tendency to be unwilling to discuss what goes on with her friends. This week she initiated a few discussions during which she analyzed some of the choices she has made, the effects, and the lessons she has learned which she hopes not to have to repeat.

This week she identified a particular cycle she has been a part of and has decided to step away from it (but not from the people) by setting boundaries. I'm proud of her for recognizing the difference between people and situations and finding a way to continue being a friend without getting sucked into the muck. She has also confided some things in me she never would have shared before. Finally, she has decided as far as boyfriends are concerned she is going to hold out for a fellow who displays substance and character, that it's better to be without a boyfriend than to be with one who is a jerk. Can someone give me an "Amen" on THAT?

Do I think it will be smooth sailing from here on out? No...but I am overjoyed at the growth she is showing and I told her so.

41 comments:

Breazy said...

AMEN! I can relate to you on this because our 16 yr old daughter deals with the friend and boyfriend/girlfriend all the time. It has made our daughter see that she doesn't want to deal the problems of having a boyfriend of her own just now when she is making decisions for her future.

Have a great day !

RennyBA said...

I give you an Amen too!

Besides, from the picture; one can tell the apple doesn't fall long from the tree :-)

Wishing you a great end to your week.

Cocotte said...

AMEN....beautiful picture and words!

Jazz said...

You're obviously doing a great job.

Desmond Jones said...

Oh, Amen and Amen!

Holding out for substance and character will serve her really, really well on down the road. Would that one of my daughters had reached the same conclusion, a few years sooner than she did. . .

Cooper said...

AWOMEN. what a great pic of the two of you...

S said...

She really does look so much like you.
LR and I have also discussed what to do when her friends make bad choices and she knows better. Thats why we got her a cell phone, we are the rescue squad parents, willing to get up at all hours and rescue her and her friends from the evils of adolescence.
Not that she's into those evils yet, but they are coming. The 8th graders in her school seem to just explode into teenagerhood!
Thats a cool tie dye maam!

And yes, how could I have ever made it through that first year of India without you being online to listen to me cry ALOT! LOL.

"Who knew!?" (said in Yonkahz accent with flexed hand in midair)

Mona said...

AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! I support this with all my heart & soul!

Your lovely daughter has such strength of character, she'll do you proud each day!

She is beautiful both inside out!

Whoever finds her will be a very lucky guy for sure!

MIke Kilgore said...

Rare quality in one so young, eh? Musta had a good teacher.....

Moannie said...

Amen so be it. Lovely picture and a true reflection of you, both pysically and in the area of nous.

lecram said...

Aye, the lesson of boundaries is a particularly tough one to learn in the teen years. I know some who have still never learned it.

Be proud... she couldn't have learned without food parenting.

EmBee said...

Heck I'm over 40 and STILL find it difficult to deal with some of the choices MY friends make, who are my age.

Good thing I got those 'Boyfriend' issues solved early, I ended up marrying the first one... Because he was a 'keeper.'

Craver Vii said...

It seems like you have things under control, and you're not asking for this poor fool's advice, nevertheless...

Boys are bad, so we forbid our 15-yr-old from talking to them or associating with them in any way, shape or form. By the time she is 16, we will convert to Catholicism and enroll her in a ninja-nun convent, so that she and her cohorts learn to use deadly force on anyone who initiates improprieties, including eye-contact and hand-shakes.

That is all.

Craver Vii said...

For our older daughter, we required interested boys to complete an "application to date my daughter." It works nicely when I would hold it up for the young man... taped to the unfriendly end of a shotgun.

Akelamalu said...

Love you 55 and that photograph is just beautiful! :)

Mine's up too.

Akelamalu said...

Love you 55 and that photograph is just beautiful! :)

Mine's up too.

Logophile said...

What a gorgeous smile!
Oh, and the kid is cute too.
:p

AMEN

tsduff said...

AMEN! Seems to be the topic of the week... two nights go I had a wonderful chat with the dear 14 year old daughter of a friend. She was bubbling over with funny things in her Sex Ed class... and we had the chance to discuss things I haven't thought about since... well, for many years. Your daughter is a jewel - and shines on her own with the added bonus of being polished from her sparkly gem of a Mom.

Spanish Princess said...

Absolutely beautiful! It's great that she is learning to stand on her own ... but knows where ther love and support is when she needs a shoulder!

Mojo said...

Heh.

Awomen too. Same applies to girlfriends, I've found. Jerks come in all sizes, shapes, ages and genders.

Sounds like she's got her head on pretty straight -- especially for a teenager (of either gender).

The acorn didn't fall far from the tree I think.

Gledwood said...

...it's never ever smooth sailing, no matter how calm the waters appear!!

VE said...

See how she has those earphones in there so she doesn't have to listen to a thing you are saying...

DianeCA said...

Amen! And she sounds like a very bright and reflective young lady! Much like her mom in many ways. Cherish your good relationship with your daughter. They grow up so fast!!

Fortress Guinness said...

sigh...i almost wish i hadn't read this one...one thing that's been troubling me lately is that my kid's won't talk to me on anything other than 'surface' stuff...maybe they don't want to, knowing how bad a time i had during my 'troubled years'...who knows...??? maybe sometime in the (hopefully near) future they'll feel comfortable enough to do it... i sure as hell wouldn't talk like that to my parents at their age, so maybe i have some time to wait...anyway, i'm glad the young Limelet's got a good head on her shoulders...a chip off the old block i reckon...!!! ;) xx

Lulda Casadaga said...

Ah lime, this was so sweet and wonderful. You should be very proud...and pat yourself on the back! Three cheers to you too!!

I'm having breakfast with my friend on Mon. We haven't really talked since the whole New Years fiasco...and in a funny way its been nice! :D

Enjoy the weekend and get some extra jugs in for super bowl! ;)

snowelf said...

I know grown adults who still haven't learned to think like your daughter is right now.

She is awesome.

--snow

g-man said...

Limey...That warrants a Hallelujah!!
That girl is stunning, just like Mom!
Excellent job on the 55 as well.
Thanks for playing this week...G

Palm Springs Savant said...

(((high five))) to you as a a fantastic Mom who is raising a daughter with a good head on her shoulders. says a lot about you lime

Polt said...

Twirling to music only you can hear...I LOVE doing that. :)

What a great 55 Friday!

HUGS...

Vest said...

wots a gar?

Moosekahl said...

AMEN! I told you this apple didn't fall far from the tree! you two are beautiful...inside and out!

Hilary said...

Sounds like she's a very bright, insightful child. Just like Mom. And she's got your smile too. You must just beam. :)

david mcmahon said...

God bless our children, for they are more precious to us than we can ever explain.

citizen of the world said...

Oh, a HUGE amen to that! She sure learned it earlier than I did!

citizen of the world said...

Oh, a HUGE amen to that! She sure learned it earlier than I did!

ttfootball said...

such thinking is a testament to the mom ;-)

Jocelyn said...

Oh! That she is telling you such things, having such conversations wtih you...gives me such hope for my next years with my girl.

I suppose having Just the Right Mom is part of the equation, too.

(thanks for your niceness about Groom...he's finally a bit more up today)

Poutalicious said...

Will a hallelujah do? How about a few?
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah-hallelujah
hall-e-lu-jah

Let's hope she sticks to her boyfriend of substance ideal.

NYD said...

Very cool piece of prose there Mrs.Lime.
I figure you might just give yourself a pat on the back for being a good role model.
Just keep her away from guys who posses rubber chickens and things will be ok.

Sandi McBride said...

The pain our children feel seems to hurt us doubly...and when a Grandchild is hurting oh the pain you feel so helpless to fight! Lovely post...and poem
Sandi
ps
congrats on Post of the Day mention!

The Egel Nest said...

Amen! All the good guys are either gay or married...or apparently in high school :)

Found you through David's Blog! :)

Bradley
The Egel Nest