Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday 55 & Da Count-Eat Your Heart Out, Vicky


Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder
Foundational Garment
Hooter Hugger
Torture Device
18 Hour Cross Your Heart
I don't care what kind it is or where I have to shop for them,
bra shopping is a complete torment.


Perhaps you recall this rant about a particularly annoying trip to Victoria's Secret. That place, more than any other, makes bra shopping a torturous process. Even if by some stroke of luck I should find a bra that fits I will need a second mortgage to afford it. I am well past the stage of being able to work some flimsy, cutesy bit of lace and hooks either to my advantage or even to the point of socially acceptable containment. On to the hydraulics! However, I still want something that doesn't look like it came out of my grandmother's drawer and I don't want it to require a loan for purchase either. You'd think I am asking for the world. All I want is a properly supportive, reasonably nice looking, affordable bra that permits me to breathe and not feel like it has spikes embedded in it.

Because of past failures and frustrations, I generally wait until the old set has all but fallen apart before I go looking for replacements. Case in point, I wore my old nursing bras until Isaac was 6 because I really didn't want to deal with the whole bra shopping torment. I assure you it's not because I was breastfeeding my 6 year old. He was weaned at 18 months.

Ok, so the time has come for some new hydraulics to lift and separate. I dread it. However, one day the Limelettes wanted me to take them to TJ Maxx. While they were busy dashing back and forth to the fitting rooms I decided to wander over to the lingerie section, which I have avoided in the past because generally it's a couple of racks in tangled disarray of straps and cups. I started idly going through the mess. Oh look, my size! This is a miracle in and of itself. Mine is not a size I can often find. Oh look, another one, and another, and another. Holy cow, a 4 bras in my size! I am guardedly optimistic as I trot off to the fitting room with 4 bras in my size that are each on sale. Try them on and find 3 out of the 4 fit, do the job, and look not half bad. Ya know, I think if Janita, my formerly demolished left wrist, had been willing I may have cartwheeled to the checkout counter. And the total price for three miracles was under the price of a single torment sold at Victoria's Secret.


Suldog said...

MY WIFE had, for years, worn a 34 C. She decided to actually be fitted, at a good shop that specialized in bras, and she came home with a 36 D. She was extremely comfortable, and I was the recipient of a virtual upgrade!

anthonynorth said...

Ah, it makes me glad to be a man :-)

Jeni said...

Oh my, Lime -I so know exactly what you mean about bra shopping! Even if I find one I like, in my size and that is affordable too, and even after trying it/them on, I have a problem that usually doesn't surface until I am actually wearing the bra for a bit and that is the darned left shoulder strap often doesn't like to stay put! Sometimes, I think my left shoulder must have grown unevenly because this only happens with that shoulder strap and if it does occur, I am constantly having to reach up and pull the darned strap back into place. Just one more addition to the problem of bra shopping! (Best place I've found so far to fin my size, a selection that is pretty decent, the product displayed nicely too -is at a lingerie store at Grove City Outlet Mall -and right now, I can't remember the company name of this store! But overall, the nice thing about shopping at this place is that I don't HAVE to go in search of a second mortgage for the house after having visited that store! Victoria's Secret is just way beyond belief in their pricings.

Fandango said...

We have the same problems getting a decent fitting saddle for you humans to ride in your movies.
Great 55

ours is posted

snowelf said...

I was totally laughing about the TJ Maxx tangly mess--that is SO true! I was imagining it even before you wrote that line...

I have the same size and fit problem--except it seems that whenever it fits in the dressing room, I get it home and a few days later, it doesn't fit anymore. Like it was trapping me into buying it!
I have to bra shop soon and I am just dreading it. I swear, if I find anything that fits properly, I'm purchasing every last one they have!
(p.s. I don't know if you have one, but I have a lot of luck at Kohl's which usually has awesome sales. and VS has terrible bras--I've never liked any of them--but I do love their nightgowns...)


lecram said...

One of the few things I refused to do with Mum was bra shopping. I would usually dispatch one of my female friends with her on that quest. They always returned with a glint in their eye claiming that it was quite the adventure. Though curious... I have never pressed them for the details. I think I will just leave it as their special moment with Mum.

Cocotte said...

Gotta love the TJMaxx! I took Middle Child bra shopping a few weeks ago. She literally tried on 20 bras just to find 2 that fit. I think no matter what size/shape you are, it's difficult to get something comfortable.

Jazz said...

I posted about this very thing a couple of months back. I hate bra shopping with a vengeance. Last time, I was with Mr. Jazz and realized that the boy loves to find the bras. Of the 12 he made me try, four fit. Four!!!! That's a record - and not cause I'm on the large tata end of the spectrum. It's at least as bad when you're on the other end.

Why are they totally incapable of understanding the concept of "Yeah, I'm an A cup and no I don't want to look like a C"

Drives me insane it does.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

I so hate bra shopping ...

g-man said...

Excellent 55...:-)

I'm swamped again sorry...

how about Falsies?


S said...

They have size double gozanga in TJ Maxx? Who knew!

I once found the perfect bra, bought it for years, then they stopped making it...
Then I found the other perfect bra...same thing happened.
But I still have one of those! What I seriously need to do is get some magenta lycra and replace the fabric at the back of the bra, but the rest is doing great. It's probably 7-8 years old. I even called Maidenform to tell them how much I wanted them to make that bra again and they thanked me. Isn't that nice.
I want that bra back on the shelves you hear me, Maidenform!
And even if you sew, making a bra is a daunting thing.
As for sizes, yep, most women have it wrong. And lookit Suldog up there, the only one announcing bra sizes! LOL
Let me just say that my problem is having a rib cage 32...most 32 bras are made for teens with little wispy triangles for the cups and that isnt gonna work!

We all feel your pain and your joy!
Now, are you gonna model em?
You could model em over your clothers :P

choochoo said...

I can never find a bra in the store that's big enough and if I do, they're full of padding. I mean, wtf???

DianeCA said...

Hating bra shopping is obviously universal for everyone except Paris Hilton. And anyone under the age of 20 ... three finds at once. God Bless TJMax, I do hope you played the lottery your luck is in!

Dr.John said...

55 words of frustration. Glad you found what you wanted.

Mine is posted

Beach Bum said...

My daughter asked about a bra the other day while at Wal-Mart and ran off from me to rummage through the various ones they had on sale. Since she is six it was rather early for her to worry about it.

~Dragonfly~* said...

I hear ya sister!!! However... VS changing rooms are big enough for two... take your hubby with you and turn it into fun!!! :)

Mona said...

O dear! This post is such a coincidence. It comes just as I bra shopped for myself at TJ Max. I bought twelve of em. All so beautiful, designer and perfect fit!

I really loved shopping at TJ Max!

elle dubya said...

i rank bra shopping just below bathing suit shopping but above waterboarding and bamboo under fingernails.

Hilary said...

Creative layout for your 55. Glad your shopping spree wasn't torture. :)

Lynilu said...

I'm with you on the pain of shopping. I hate that when I find a bra that is comfortable, within a year, it will be discontinued. Then I go through a couple years of buying something that, after I wear for more than an hour, begins to bind and squeeze or allows the girls to move around too much, forcing me into more futile shopping. Eventually I find another good one, and since I seem to have the kiss of death for bras, I buy it knowing I have less than a year to enjoy it.

Desmond Jones said...

I love gazangas. . .


Michelle H. said...

Ugh, bra shopping. I'll spare you the details.

Malicious Intent said...

Gaaah...I hate shopping for braaaaaasssssss. As much fun as shopping for garbage bags or window blinds. Just something you have to do. There was a time in my life I could actually go bra-less. Then I had kids and the Gods decided to bless me with breasts so that I might feed my children. Problem is they didn't take the damn things back after I was finished with them. So now I just try to make the best of them. Even though I do consider them uninvited guests...I do miss not having to deal with buttons that don't button. WHY women go and get them enlarged is beyond me...pain in the ass they are!

jinksy said...

Hello, fellow Birkenstok babe. As for bras, now I've discovered Triumph 'Doreen' bras, I never look anywhere else. They are expensive (£21.50) but last well, and do the job they're designed for - which is more than you can say for many others!

Cheesy said...

Hanes catalog all the way for this gurlie!

Pouty Lips said...

Ditto. I'm a catalog bra shopper. I gave up on shopping in stores because I could not find the right size, preferred color, or the mandatory nipple-hiding work component.

lakeviewer said...

I came in from another blog that talked about bras. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time.

Jocelyn said...

I refer to TJ Maxx as "The Mothership"--often I hear its beacon calling me home. Was there today, in fact.

Interestingly, I have, in the last few years, gotten most of my good bras at Lane Bryant (the rest of my size doesn't fit there)...but they have everything from at least a 38C up...and really well constructed.

Anonymous said...

who's got a luvverlee bunch of coconuts again Lime...??? ;) xxx