Effing Incompetents

For the record, if you have an M.D. (or some other set of letters indicating medical specialty) behind your name...

• Do not assume my IQ is smaller than my shoe size.
• Please give me clear, direct answers to my clear, direct questions.
• Call me with test results when you say you're going to call me with test results, especially if we are talking about serious health issues where time matters.
• Do not tell me, when I call for the results, that you failed to test for  one of the things you suspected in the first place.  Seriously????  If you think X, Y, and Z are viable diagnoses and say you want to test for them and they can all be done at the same time, why in God's name would you only test for X and Y, particularly when Z is the most dangerous and you've already suggested it as a very real possibility?
• Do not act surprised when I ask if a certain basic course of action is appropriate.  Definitely don't interject, "Oh! Yeah!  That's a good idea!"  Quite honestly, it does not instill confidence.  It just makes YOU sound like the one with a smaller than shoe sized IQ.
• And for fuck's sake DO NOT try to bullshit your way through my questions with a bunch of vagaries, speculations, and contradictions of yourself, which clearly indicate either your utter ignorance or your total indifference.  I'd much rather have you admit you're not sure and give me the name of someone who can help me.  A referral to a specialist who knows the topic better than you is not a weakness.  It's called being a professional and making sure a patient is properly cared for.  I don't expect you to know everything but I do expect you to have some reasonable problem solving abilities and to know where to search for the answers you lack. Oh, and if it's indifference, then may you suffer every disease and malady to which you have ever responded callously.
• And seriously, if I have to see every damn med student, PA student, nurse practitioner student, and curious onlooker before I ever get to talk to your incompetent self I'm going to start charging admission.  I know they need to learn but right now I'm just a bit tired of having to listen to them whining about not knowing what to do and needing their hand held.

I'm tired, frustrated, and kinda angry.

I know this is a somewhat cryptic post and I apologize.  Tonight I just need to vent and I'm sorry.  This week I may or may not be around much depending upon what sorts of answers I can get, how far I have to go for them, and in how timely a fashion I get them. It's not me, it's one of my children, so the mama bear in me is stirred up.  My poor girl has had one horrible summer in so many ways and I hurt for her.  Prayers welcome.

EDIT: Shoutout and big thanks and praise to Moose, who shows more competence and genuine concern all the way from Alaska than what I'm getting locally.