Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Lime Is In

Seems most of you have already attained enlightenment and have no need of advice but a few uncertain souls needed help in one form or another...or maybe the rest of you are just convinced of my need for even more help...whatever. Here are the questions and my answers.And yes, my multiple personalities seem to encompass more than just the 5 year old and the guru.


Hilary said... Advice? We just had our Canadian Thanksgiving and I have a fair bit of leftover turkey. Please suggest a new and interesting recipe which will help me to use it up. Thank you.

Dear Hilary,
I wanna make turkey croquettes into hockey pucks. Then I wanna fill the carcass with whatever other leftovers you got, freeze it like a rock, and use it as a curling stone.Can we please, please, please?
5 Year old Lime
P.S. Don't tell Mommy!


~Tim said... What advice would you give someone [like me] who is really bad at taking advice?

Dear Tim,
Do not take advice, only receive what is given in love.
Guru Lime
P.S. I should write fortune cookies, huh?


Craig said... And, uh, all I wanna, all I wanna, all I wanna know, is WHY SHOULD THE DEVIL HAVE ALL THE GOOD MUSIC?

Dear Craig,
Muzak is the devil's music. You call that good??? Go crank some Larry Norman.
Jammin' Lime
P.S. Shut de do, keep out de debil!


KFarmer said...Dear Limey:
Winter is coming on and I'm don't know how to keep warmth and sunshine in this old farm house on a daily basis. I've tried drinking spiced rum and listening to Bob Marly; working myself into a frenzy; turning on every light in the house; painting the kitchen walls a horrible bright yellow; nothing seems to work. Any suggestions would be appreciated : )
Your Friend,
Nearly & Almost Frozen K

Dear K,
Bob Marley is too mellow. You need steel pan music or salsa. Redo the walls with warm yellow, not bright yellow. Dance heartily and drink heavily during the repainting process. Make sure someone takes pictures. The laughter will go miles. If the winter blues set in again pull out the pictures and more libations. Trust me.
Crazy Lime
P.S. *Hic*


G-Man said... Can I 'spank' you?

G-man,
Only if you can catch me first!
Speedy Lime
P.S. Meep-meep!

15 comments:

Hilary said...

Thanks for the advice, 5 year old Lime. It all sounds very Canadian, eh? Here, have a tuque, a Tim Horton's hot chocolate and play money from Canadian Tire. If you don't know what any of that is, just channel Canuck Lime and ask her. ;)

Mona said...

Awww, I am sure G Man has not developed another fetish. Its just the birthday bumps he is talking about ;D

Mother Theresa said...

Dear Lime,
What advice would you give to a blogger who has fallen by the wayside and just let her blog languish for nearly two years? Is there any hope for her? And it's a very rainy wayside too! -Desperately needing an umbrella, or even better, a roaring fire and a stiff drink!

Cricket said...

Ayuh. Sage advice all around. Perhaps you and Poochie should seek syndication.

Muzak is indeed the Devil's music. I still have tunes lurking in the back of my head from 30 years ago when I worked in a supermarket. On the other hand, I'm not sure I like going shopping, or turning on an "oldies" station, and hearing stuff I bought new. Ugh.

"Oldies" means Elvis and stuff... don't they know that?

;-)

Beach Bum said...

I don't know if it was Muzak, but I heard a soft version of "Highway to Hell" one time and it truly sounded satanic.

Craig said...

Yeah, back when I spent a summer workin' at a hardware store with piped-in muzak, I once heard 101 Strings' version of 'Satisfaction'. That was just wrong. . .

And somehow, I knew you'd come up with the most calypso-sounding Larry Norman (or is that a Randy Stonehill?). . .

And, uh, you seem to have double-posted this one. . . (*averting eyes*)

Logophile said...

Hee hee,
Good answers,
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I can't believe I missed that.
Hope it was great

Craig said...

And Canadians eat turkey for Thanksgiving? Jeez, I thought they ate moose, or polar bear, or something, eh? Smothered in maple syrup, of course. . .

OK. . . sorry, Hilary; you reminded me of a Red Green show I saw just before the turn of the millennium, where Uncle Red (or maybe one of the other characters?) came on wearing a stocking cap topped with a woolen letter 'Y', explaining that it was his "Y-touque, eh?"

(*ba-doomp!*)

S said...

LOL I love your farm house advice!
Hope your day was swell!
Did you and Hugh have a lovely time?

Cricket said...

p.s. "Five cents please"... genius.

Ananda girl said...

I have nothing but big grins.

G-Man said...

Another fetish?
I have a fetish?
Maybe we should ask Susie?

snowelf said...

Lime... I can't even...

The meep meep....

Oh, I needed a laugh. I loves you lots.

--snow

secret agent woman said...

You should indeed write fortune cookies.

KFarmer said...

Thanks ~ I do : )