Crawling into bed I pull the cool sheet over me and breathe in the scent. Inhale.....exhale.....inhale.....exhale....think only of breathing, send away the other thoughts. Inhale....exhale....inhale....exhale. Drop off to sleep.
Wake in the morning. See the light falling through the lace curtain. Breathe deeply. Stretch my back. Stretch my neck. Sit then rise.
Pour the cereal. Pour the milk. Eat. Put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher.
Step into the shower. Feel the water soak my hair, run down my body. Lather. Rinse. Grab the fluffy towel to dry.
Dress and fix my hair.
Gather my purse and keys. Get in the car with the family. Drive to church.
Enter the fellowship hall. Look for a seat. A woman approaches me, "Oh Michelle, you look so cool and calm and collected."
I burst into tears crying, "I am anything but!"*
*Though I was sincere in my count, the Friday post was followed by a fairly disastrous visit to the Lyme specialist, which left me reeling for days. It was bad enough that we will be seeking a new doctor. Sunday morning, I was not making any attempt at pretense in presenting a brave and calm exterior. I was more or less numb and just functioning an autopilot until the comment from the woman at church. Oddly enough two other people made similar comments later on. Bizarre.