Here are some recent conversations you might have heard in our house if you'd been one...
Thursday night. Temp is around 100F. I have no interest in cooking over a hot stove + it's payday + we're all in minimal clothing due to the heat and don't feel like making ourselves presentable=take out for dinner.
Mr. Lime: Ok, everybody ready to go?
Calypso: I need to put a bra on first.
Mr. L: Just get in the car. No one cares.
C: But someone might see my nips.
Mr.L: You'll be sitting in the back of a two-door hatchback. No one's going to see anything.
C: The only headlights will be the ones on the front of the car.
In the car, driving home on the highway from the next town over
Mr. L: (surprised as we pass from dry to wet pavement) Wow, I guess it rained while we were gone....either that or someone washed the roads.
Isaac: (sincerely) They do that?
Mr. L: (incredulous) Really, son? Yeah, ok, we'll get you a job doing that next summer.
As he puts the DVD for "Predator" in the DVD player.
Mr. L: This is a great movie.
Me: (arching a single eyebrow) Oh, yes, completely plausible.
Mr. L: (as the intro plays) Well, it IS because it's an alien. You can tell because the opening scene is in space.
Me: (pretending to be convinced) Oh of course, that's all I need for suspension of disbelief.
Mr. L: I wonder what made the alien want to come to the Earth in the first place.
Me: You attempting to examine the motivations of an alien doesn't make me more interested in the movie.
Mr. L: Well think about it. Why would it leave space to come here.
Me: Oh I dunno, it wanted take out food I guess.
Mr. L: Nooooo! Predator doesn't EAT its victims. It just collects their spines and skulls.
Me: Ok, so it was adventure tourism and looking for cheap souvenirs.
Mr. L: Now you're getting into it! See that's all I could come up with too!
Me: Please don't interpret this conversation as even remote interest in the movie.
Mr. L: You know this movie has not one but TWO future governors in it, Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Jesse Ventura. Oh and they are both in The Running Man too...another great movie.
Me: Not a selling point, as I don't think either one of them is a good actor. Let's hope they were more skilled in governance. In fact, let's consider the theatrical body of work produced by those who went on to hold high-profile office. Predator...The Running Man...Love Boat, Gopher was either a Senator or US Rep...the Sonny and Cher Show... I mean really, what does it say about politics that people who could parade a lack of skill so publicly later went on to political careers?
Mr. L: You forgot Ronald Reagan.
Me: Bedtime for Bonzo does not strengthen your argument.