Monday, July 25, 2011

Fly on the Wall...Or Maybe a Camouflaging Alien

Here are some recent conversations you might have heard in our house if you'd been one...

Thursday night.  Temp is around 100F.  I have no interest in cooking over a hot stove + it's payday + we're all in minimal clothing due to the heat and don't feel like making ourselves presentable=take out for dinner.

Mr. Lime: Ok, everybody ready to go?

Calypso:  I need to put a bra on first.

Mr. L: Just get in the car.  No one cares.

C: But someone might see my nips.

Mr.L: You'll be sitting in the back of a two-door hatchback.  No one's going to see anything.

C: The only headlights will be the ones on the front of the car.


In the car, driving home on the highway from the next town over

Mr. L: (surprised as we pass from dry to wet pavement)  Wow, I guess it rained while we were gone....either that or someone washed the roads.

Isaac: (sincerely) They do that?

Mr. L: (incredulous) Really, son?  Yeah, ok, we'll get you a job doing that next summer.


As he puts the DVD for "Predator" in the DVD player.

Mr. L: This is a great movie.

Me: (arching a single eyebrow) Oh, yes, completely plausible.

Mr. L: (as the intro plays)  Well, it IS because it's an alien.  You can tell because the opening scene is in space.

Me: (pretending to be convinced) Oh of course, that's all I need for suspension of disbelief.

Mr. L: I wonder what made the alien want to come to the Earth in the first place.

Me: You attempting to examine the motivations of an alien doesn't make me more interested in the movie.

Mr. L: Well think about it.  Why would it leave space to come here.

Me: Oh I dunno, it wanted take out food I guess.

Mr. L: Nooooo!  Predator doesn't EAT its victims.  It just collects their spines and skulls.

Me:  Ok, so it was adventure tourism and looking for cheap souvenirs.

Mr. L: Now you're getting into it!  See that's all I could come up with too!

Me: Please don't interpret this conversation as even remote interest in the movie.

Mr. L: You know this movie has not one but TWO future governors in it, Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Jesse Ventura.  Oh and they are both in The Running Man too...another great movie.

Me: Not a selling point, as I don't think either one of them is a good actor.  Let's hope they were more skilled in governance.  In fact, let's consider the theatrical body of work produced by those who went on to hold high-profile office.  Predator...The Running Man...Love Boat, Gopher was either a Senator or US Rep...the Sonny and Cher Show...   I mean really, what does it say about politics that people who could parade a lack of skill so publicly later went on to political careers? 

Mr. L: You forgot Ronald Reagan.

Me: Bedtime for Bonzo does not strengthen your argument.


secret agent woman said...

Yah, I'm not convinced about that movie by your husband either...

Cricket said...

I mean really, what does it say about politics that people who could parade a lack of skill so publicly later went on to political careers?

Well, it says everything... image over substance every time. Of course, my sister once said to my Dad "Was Reagan the first actor to become president?"

Dad replied "No. He was the first professional actor to become president."

Heh, heh.

Bijoux said...

Um, in my town, they really do wash the streets. There's a special vehicle for that!

word veri: hydro

G-Man said...

Well....It all makes sense to me!

Anonymous said...

I was wondering about Ronald!

Craig said...

I think my daughters would disembowel themselves before they would talk about their own nips in my presence. . .

And on our street, we aren't allowed to park on the street between 2AM and 6AM, 'cuz that's when they wash the streets. Based on the rare occasions I've actually been awake between those hours, I can testify as to the truth of their existence. . . So, you know, if Isaac likes to play the 'Nightowl' game, it's a perfect job for him. . .

The suspension of disbelief has never bothered me; in fact, on occasion, it's a lot of fun. But I never have quite fully understood the appeal of movies where malign aliens turn lots of people into bloody goo. . .

WordVer = 'undedi'; zombie flick, anyone?

silly rabbit said...

Haha! Great conversations. I appreciate your view on politicians.

Suldog said...

Suspension of disbelief is a wonderful thing. It has gotten me through most of my life to this point.

That aside, this is hilarious stuff (and, between your sarcastic wit and that of MY WIFE, I'm somewhat surprised there wasn't a cosmic explosion of some sort when the two of you met.)

(M)ary said...

Ha! Should I be concerned the longest exchange of the conversations presented was the convo about the movie Predator??! (-;

PS...full disclosure: in the Predator vs Alien movie/debate, I am an ALIEN fan!

Anonymous said...

I'm racking my brains trying to think of an outstanding actor who went on to be in politics, but I'm drawing a blank.

Anonymous said...

the running man was one of the WORST movies ever made.

Moannie said...

Any movie with Aliens or monsters or, for that matter clever digital thingamys hold no interest for me; give me real actors telling real stories anytime.

Though I loved the trip as an eaves dropper. You are both too funny.

veri word:surterse...a snippy baron?

Jocelyn said...

I wonder if Isaac'll have a uniform for his road-washing job. Maybe give him a slicker and Wellies for Christmas, just to be safe?