Remember that bit where Isaac and I bonded over keyboard symbols for breasts? Yeah. What I didn't tell you was that yesterday I also made the most awesome dark chocolate mint cupcakes with fudge mint frosting. They.were.killer.cupcakes. See, at my office we pull names for office birthdays and the lady whose name I got had her birthday today so it was my job to bring the gift, the card, and the goodies. I made a double batch so my darling son could have some too.
How did he thank me?
By bursting into my room and my dreams as I was warmly snuggled in between my flannel sheets and favorite wool blanket at 6:30am and declaring breathlessly, "Mom, I was out at the bus stop at the right time and it must have come really early. I missed it. Can you drive me to school?"
Regular readers may know this in itself is not a completely unusual occurrence and no consequence I have inflicted upon the boy has quite achieved the desired level of efficacy in diminishing the frequency of this undesirable event. Mondays and Wednesdays I exact heavier prices for this transgression since it seriously messes up my schedule for getting to work on time. This morning I wanted to be at work even earlier in order to set up the birthday stuff...as well as stop at the store to get some extra snacks. In 5 seconds that plan was shot to hell.
I dragged myself out of bed and dressed in long underwear, a tank top, tie dyed tube socks with birkenstock sandals, and my ratty pink bathrobe. My hair rivaled Medusa's on a bad snake day. I was aiming to disgrace the kid in front of friends when I dropped him off by demanding a big hug and telling him how much I'd miss him while he was at school (ya know, since no other consequence has been meaningful). The nails were driven into the coffin of that idea when we arrived at a school seeming to have been evacuated in preparation for the next hurricane. A maintenance worker shouted to Isaac, "Kid, it's a teacher in-service day. No school. Whaddya doing here?" It would be safe to say I was less than amused. I wasn't fully awake but as Isaac sheepishly turned back to the car with an apology I thought I saw a look of pity on the maintenance guy's face indicating he was sorry the kid's obviously-in-need-of-rehab mother was so desperate to get rid of him she drove him to an empty school on a day off.
Did I mention Mr. Lime left me with the car that had no gas in it after he said he'd take that one and fill it? And that our town is still under heavy construction? And that when I got home all the dinner that was available had been eaten?
It's enough to make a girl run to the other side of the continent.