Monday, January 16, 2012

Biology Class Indeed

Isaac is 16.  He is a smart kid who until recently never had to work for good grades.  The end of last year we thought perhaps the stress the family had been under was accounting for grades that were less than stellar.  It was the end of the year.  We spoke to him but didn't give him any major consequences.

This year when school resumed, Isaac moved up to the high school.  His grades remained significantly less than impressive.  We spoke again.  The grades did not budge.  We enacted some meaningful consequences.  He protested vociferously. I spoke with teachers during the week of conferences.  Some noted he seemed to be engaged in attention seeking behavior in class.  I had words with the manchild about his class behavior. We enforced consequences.  Grades improved.

I did notice that it seemed to only be the teachers who were younger women where he was behaving poorly.  Hhhmmm...

Friday he came home and we had the following conversation.

Him: Remember how my biology teacher Mr. B. is leaving the second half of the year?

Me: Yes.

Him:  Well we got the new teacher today.  I just want you to know my grade will be going from a 95 to a 75.

Me: (firmly) Oh no it won't.


Him: (smiling dreamily) Oh yeah...it will...the new teacher is a woman...and she is HAWT!  I'll be lucky if I even pass.

Me:  Oh, you'll keep your grade where it ought to be.  You've proved you're capable.

Him: (whining) But Mom, she is so hot I am never going to be able to concentrate on anything she is saying during class.

Me: I'll tell her to wear baggy clothes, not comb her hair, blacken a tooth, and stop bathing.

They really have to start hiring women who look like this.

12 comments:

Craig said...

Gee, when I had hot young female teachers, I always did better. You know, try to impress 'em. . .

True story - I had a Spanish teacher when I was in 7th grade who was fresh outta college, and quite a hottie (she was also the older sister of one of my classmates, which was only a little bit awkward. . .)

My grandpa had died the year before, and Grandma figured that her house was too big for just her, so she converted the upstairs to an apartment and rented it out. So guess who her first tenant was? Uh-huh; Senorita Caliente. . .

Suldog said...

I was a bit of Craig, a bit of Isaac. I wanted to impress the hot female teachers with my sterling intellect, but their sterling bodies were an impediment to that end. Asking a swirling, roiling pool of volcanic hormones, such as a teenaged boy to concentrate both on learning and sexual fantasies is sort of like asking a cat to catch a mouse while there are canaries flitting about the room.

Craig said...

Suldog, you are a genius! That is probably the single most apt simile I've ever encountered. . .

What did you say your IQ was?

;)

coopernicus said...

Atta Boy! Awesome song btw...

Jocelyn said...

Oh, my. I actually had no idea that's where this post was going. I'm stuck at "Oh, my."

G-Man said...

Diamond Dave is BAAAACK!!!

Logophile said...

Thing One had a hot teacher at the start of the year but had to adjust his class schedule and ended up with a algebra 2 teacher of the male gender and much less distraction.
e
It wasn't planned, but based on this... might have worked out for the best.

Suldog said...

Craig:

It is the cube root of 2,515,456.

(So is yours, Lime. I think he's making fun of us.)

Craig said...

Hey, I was being sincerely complimentary!

And just for the sake of sayin' so, its prime factorization is 2x2x2x17. . .

WordVer = 'fetato'; a not-yet-born spud?

Dave said...

Looks like Isaac is suffering from an excess of hormones? Your thing about baggy clothes and blackened tooth for the teacher sounds like a good trick - Dave :-)

Mother Theresa said...

Teenage boys! :D

Hilary said...

This too shall pass.. and hopefully so will your son. ;)