Sunday, January 29, 2012

Letting Go and Holding On

A few weeks ago while grocery shopping I ran into the mother of one of Calypso's closest friends.  She somewhat tearfully related what a hard time she was having with her daughter being gone away to college and asked if I was having as hard a time as she was.  I wanted to walk a delicate balance between being sensitive to what was a hard transition for her but still be honest.  I just said that I sometimes missed Calypso but that I was very deeply grateful that she was well enough to be away and doing what she wanted to be doing.  That she was away meant she was healthy because the previous year she spent so much time at home involuntarily because for so many days she couldn't even get off the couch or out of bed.  I said I'd rather have her away and well than terribly sick and at home.

This weekend Calypso returned from three weeks in Costa Rica and we spent an afternoon at that friend's house.  Her friend's mom and I were talking and she thanked me for that conversation because it snapped her out of a pity party.  I told her I hoped I hadn't come across as sanctimonious I just truly am grateful for Calypso's restored health.  She assured me I had not.  It was just the reality check she needed at the time.

That said, it's every bit as much a gift to stay up until 3 am waiting for a delayed flight just to have Calypso run in the front door searching for me so she can throw her arms around me in a tight hug.

11 comments:

Craig said...

As my wife is wont to say, healthy birds leave the nest. . .

Calypso was in Costa Rica? Where? 6F spent 2 weeks there last summer, and she's looking to go back again this coming summer. . .

But I do know what you're saying about just wanting to throw your arms around them when they come home. . .

Beach Bum said...

I've only got two years before my son goes off to college. Even now I feel slightly lost with the idea he will be away from home.

Bijoux said...

It's nice when they come back home, but sometimes, it's nicer when they leave!!!!

I didn't have an adjustment when my daughter left for college, but probably because she was the oldest. I will most likely be a basket case when I drop my son off at college.

Jocelyn said...

Ah, you gave me a rush of tears there at the end. May she always seek out your face and run straight towards you!

Three weeks in Costa Rica? I am so out of it! What a wonderful thrill for her. Swoon.

Just Me said...

I spent 3 months in Costa Rica in college. It's my dream to go back there. My daughter made me promise we'd go together.

And I miss my kids (both boys went away to school at 16 so I lost them pretty early) but knowing they are capable of doing well on their own is such a great feeling. I love watching them turn into themselves, even if it has to be from a distance.

Cooper said...

awesomeness covered in awesome sauce

Logophile said...

Glad she is back, healthy, and doing well.
Also?
How awesome is it when you get those hugs?!

Pearl said...

Very nice.

There's a special kind of ache related to knowing they must leave and wishing to see them again...

Pearl

G-Man said...

Thats so sweet...

(M)ary said...

What a testament to being honest about our feelings and not just answering with the quick platitudes so many folks use.
"How are you?
I am fine. "
Not honest.
"How are you?
I am grateful for my daughter's heatlh"
Honest AND helpful to the person hearing it!

Secret Agent Woman said...

I have the same mixed feelings about my older son being off at college. I miss him and enjoy seeing him when he visits (like this coming weekend!) but I'm mostly happy that he is doing well and pursuing his own life.