Thursday, June 14, 2012

More Power



Many years ago Mr. Lime purchased a Makita 12" sliding compound miter saw similar to the one above.  When he brought it home and unloaded it he caressed it lovingly, cooed at it, and declared it better than sex.  I arched a single eyebrow at him as I responded, "If it's dangerous teeth you want, all you have to do is ask."  He was disinclined to accept my offer.

Today, I worked with him to help build a large deck around a pool.  It's the first time in the many years he has owned this thing that I was allowed to use it.  It was groovy and I liked being able to cut through a pressure treated 4x4 like warm butter but I'd like to state unequivocally and quite emphatically, it was NOT better than sex.  However, sitting on a board while he cut it with a circular saw was mildly arousing.

18 comments:

Craig said...

I'm sorry, but there will just never be such a thing as a saw that's better than sex. . . Just sayin'. . .

I mean, when I read in the Bible that 'in Heaven, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage', my first thought is, "and that's better than what I have now exactly HOW?"

But then, maybe I'm just weird that way. . .

But, uh. . . 'dangerous teeth'. . . had me on the floor. . .

No, no, no. . . not like THAT. . .

;)

coopernicus said...

Makita..brings back memories of my construction days...

on the other hand, something that takes a couple D batteries might be cheaper, ya know??

Sailor said...

Well, I'm partial to my DW750 DeWalt 12" Compound Miter saw, but I'm with you on this one- no way is it better than sex.

Dave said...

Oooo! Michelle, that was very suggestive - but funny! - Dave

Daryl Edelstein said...

I bet it was ..

haphazardlife said...

Damn you lime. I spewed tea all over the place! I want one of those, but I have no place to keep it unfortunately. Nor do I know what I'd do with it. I just have a thing for power tools.

Suldog said...

Well, see, whenever I hear "Makita", I think of Stan Mikita, who played for the Chicago Blackhawks, and that makes me think of his donut shop, so I go buy some donuts and eat them, which leaves me feeling bloated and greasy until I take a poop a day later and... Ooh, look, a squirrel!

Rob said...

Michelle, I have some "wood" you can sit on for me -- and no one will be endangered by sharp teeth on rotating blades! Wet spots could be a problem, however...

Bijoux said...

My husband has that saw and I have no desire to use it. I'll keep my hot glue gun, screwdriver and hammer.

Why does everything in a toolbox sound dirty?

Tabor said...

Some of us wish we could have sex with someone who could actually use a miter saw...oh well.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I have a very similar mitre saw that I love using. Definitely not better than sex, but it is a handy tool.

Kat said...

Hehehe. I love power tools. It is a nice power kick.
Better than sex, though? Me thinks not.

~Tim said...

So. many. jokes... and they all make me sound like a tool. ;-)

Hilary said...

Now that's a hoot. You never fail to amuse.

Jinksy said...

Guess this gave rise to the phrase 'all power to your elbow'?!
Congrats on the POTW. ♥

Stephen Hayes said...

I just found your blog thanks to Smitten Image and I think it's great. After reading your post "More Power" I have the urge to go saw something. You are a gifted writer with a fine wit and I know I'll be back for more. I hope you'll visit me sometime at Chubby Chatterbox where I write about Art, Humor and Nostalgia. I think we might have a lot in common. If you visit, I hope you'll take a moment to press the Join button and I'll return the compliment. Take care.

TexWisGirl said...

LOL! congrats on your POTW!!!

Jocelyn said...

A deck around the pool? Yes, indeed, it's time I come visit.

Set aside a board for me to sit on.