Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012

You may remember the two Friday 55s when I spoke of being Adrift and experiencing a Seismic Shift.  If the last half of 2010 and most of 2011 were about hanging on to sanity by a thread and just gutting through seemingly unending trial a day at a time, 2012 began as a chance to rest a bit (Ok, the last couple of weeks of 2011 qualified too).  And may I say how profoundly grateful I was for the respite.  Of course, this year had its own set of not especially wonderful events what with scary breast lumps, major hurricanes, and a really nastily conveyed job termination.  I also chose to leave my church in search of a new spiritual home.  Though I didn't make direct mention here there was also a major upheaval with regard to a family relationship (no one in my nuclear family....just a major increase in radioactive levels with someone else).

On the positive side, I was cleared as being healthy and breathed a very grateful sigh of relief.  We suffered nothing more than several days of inconvenience during the storm.  I have found another job in an elementary school library which will begin in full swing after the New Year.  Although I haven't settled into a new congregation I continue looking and at the same time a couple of women at my former church have reached out to me and our friendship has deepened and been a mutual encouragement.  Through it all family members who have not previously been paragons of support have revealed a far better side of themselves.  So there is a great deal for which to be thankful.

There is also the realization that many of the blessings would not have been realized were it not for the most unpleasant events of the year. Additionally, as I came to a point where virtually every familiar support was gone I was forced to evaluate what remained and decide what I was going to do about the state in which I found myself.  I won't lie, I spent a bit of time wallowing in anger and sadness.  When my standard modes of coping failed I was forced to re-evaluate yet another aspect of my life. 

The great revelation of the year was to enjoy the view while adrift and to take the seismic shift as a chance to re-organize things into something more to my benefit.  In other words, embrace the change.  Now to many of you that may be a no-brainer and it may be your default setting.  It ain't mine.  I have spent four decades resisting change and seeking stability.  It would be fair to say it's a pretty deeply ingrained pattern and viewpoint for me.  It would seem the lessons of 2010/11 had to carry through and be added to the experiences of this year to reach the fruition of me being able to welcome change...even though I still had my knee-jerk revulsion to it.

Please understand this is in no way a boast because I still have a way to go in terms of regarding change as a possible agent of good but I've seen this year how both voluntary and involuntary change can be opportunities for both growth...and further opportunity.

12 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

You've really endured a lot of travails this year and I hope 2013 serves you up a better offering of possibilities for lasting happiness and fulfillment. I wish you the very best next year. Happy new Year.

Beach Bum said...

Best wishes to everyone for a good 2013.

Bijoux said...

A good time to reflect. Hope 2013 brings you many blessings.

Uncle Skip, said...

It took me forever to learn that fighting change is futile.
It happens.
It seems much easier to adjust when we live in the moment.

Craig said...

Yeah, I'm with you - I just want life to settle into a comfortable place where I can just relax, and not have to be 'adapting' constantly. Jen likes to call me a 'hobbit', because I really don't like 'adventures'.

But, you know, in the long run, our lives are enriched by the adventures we're sent on, whether we want them or not.

(And I also know, as curious as you are about all manner of things, that you'll do just fine with your adventures, once you let go and embrace them. . .)

Happy New Year! Enjoy the ride!

Suldog said...

It's always about growth in some way. I've happily come to realize that (and I mean prior to my current seemingly crappy situation, which is why I'm seemingly handling it with grace at the moment.)

I'm seriously happy that things have been (more than not) on an uptick for you. You're one of the nicer folks I've ever met (and sexy as hell, to boot, but I digress.)

(M)ary said...

Happy New Year! Also, thank you for the Christmas card this year.

coopernicus said...

So is a Seismic Shift anything like a Fiscal Cliff??
They're both good band names...or even a single band name..Fiscal Cliff and The Seismic Shifts...

here's to the continuation of the positive trend in 2013...

Daryl E said...

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. — Paulo Coelho

i read that on another blog and stole it because its such good advice

happy healthy new year!!!!!!!!!

Kat said...

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, and you can throw rotten tomatoes at me if you want. "Everything happens for a reason." It is true. I know it is a kind of obnoxious saying, but it is true. And this post is proof.
A job at an elementary school library??? That was made for you! Congratulations!!!!

Secret Agent Woman said...

An alternate view, if I may. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. At least, not in a designed sort of way. But we humans are meaning-makers and if you are doing it right (and you are) you find meaning in the things that happen, and roll with them. That's where the embracing comes in. Brava!

Jocelyn said...

What I'm admiring most about you these days--among all the admirings I always have for you--is the way you're making.your.own.way. You've had so much shizzz thrown at you, but, in response, you're striking out and finding new ways to satisfy your self. I'm a huge fan of this approach.