Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A CURE!!!*

So ya know how people find out ya have cancer and they are sure they have the cure?  We've got our first one.  Mr. Lime was waiting for me anxiously to arrive home so he could give me the simple alternative to surgery involving the words "neck dissection" (and isn't that a fun word for the day, kiddies?) and follow-up ingestion of radioactive isotopes rendering me untouchable for a week or more. (I wonder if that comes with a complimentary goat-hair dress and some groovy temporary tattoos replicating leprous lesions so I can go about alerting passerby than I am "Unclean...unclean!!! Stay away!  I'm unclean!")

Yes folks, with just a little cannabinoid oil I can be cancer free!  According to this reputable source, it's derived from.....(looks around suspiciously)...marijuana!  In case we're worried about the hallucinogenic effects we are to fear no more because the oil distills out all the nasty stuff and leaves us with the godly bits intended for our health and healing.

I kid you not.  This was the recommendation given to us.

Here then is the subsequent conversation at Chez Lime.

Mr. Lime: I'm telling ya, this is it...we have to move to Seattle now.  Forget the states where it's only medical marijuana that's allowed.

Isaac: We don't need to move I can hook ya up with all the pot you need.  I know about 50 kids at school who sell it.

Calypso:  Yeah, just down the block we can find four kids who sell it.

Me: Ok, you all are talking about moving to where pot is legal and everyone but me knows where to buy this stuff locally and yet I am the one regarded as the crazy hippie liberal.  I can see my job is done here....

One thing I know for sure is we had a good laugh.  And good laughs are good medicine.


*Cure may cause cravings for snack foods

26 comments:

g-man said...

Trini....
I'm trying out your new cancer cure right now as we speak!
So far, so good.
Now somebody get me a fuckin Twinkie...NOW!!!

Kat said...

Yes. You can't imagine how many emails I've received from "well meaning" friends with advice on how not to get Alzheimer's. Gee thanks. I think we could have used this before my dad and dad in law got Alzheimer's but whatever. Like any of that bs works. Eat this. Don't eat that. Do crossword puzzles. Exercise. Are you friggin kidding me?
At least the pot I'd be willing to try. ;)

Leave It To Davis said...

If you have Netflix instant streaming, type in Burzynski. It is about a biochemist who has fought with the government for years about using his cure for cancer. There are actual people who have used his treatment and are cancer free. He has a clinic in Houston. You can also Google him and his clinic has a website. You really should watch the video. I wish I had seen it before my father died of cancer 5 years ago....well, he actually died of a heart attack from the Paclitaxel they treated him with....the cancer was shrunk, but his heart was weakened. Yes, you will hear a lot of different ideas about cures....I wish my dad had gone a different route. They killed him in 6 months. He was climbing trees to cut limbs before he started treatment...didn't even have any signs of cancer...found it during a routine checkup...and they had him diminished to a baby in 5 months...killed him in 6. Chemo can be bad. But, then I know a woman who had breast cancer and had chemo, both breast removed and is doing fine.

Secret Agent Woman said...

It will doubtlessly not be the last "cure" you have recommended to you. I had a patient who was treating her own breast cancer with... wait for it... coffee enemas. I kid you not.

Bijoux said...

Oh dear. Is it any wonder that people are so easily scammed out of their money by spammers?

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Hemp oil!

haphazardlife said...

Do they provide the snacks with the cure?

Stephen Hayes said...

I doubt pot could worsen your cancer.

Craver Vii said...

You'll have to buy Doritos by the case load!

Hilary said...

It may or may not be effective but you'd sure have fun trying. And no harm done. Go for it. ;)

Beach Bum said...

crazy hippie liberal?


Hopefully the DEA will not read this but I stumbled upon my son's stash the other day. Told him to not even dare to drive after smoking and to keep it hidden from his mother figuring she would kill him.

"But Dad," my son said, "She found my stuff two weeks ago."

(M)ary said...

Isotopes. Ingested? Incredible.
That gives new meaning to Inner Glow.

Suldog said...

Hey, what have you got to lose? Keep everything else scheduled, but smoke yourself silly in the meantime. It'll keep you eating and sleeping regular, if nothing else :-)

Love you. Our prayers continue.

lecram sinun said...

Aye, a good laugh is an essential ingredient at times like this. Heck, you should move here to CA... in some counties it has the designation of state vegetable.

~Tim said...

Make sure you get the extra-virgin cold-pressed whole-grain all-natural free-range organic cannabinoid oil. Because, you know, the cheap stuff just doesn't work the same.... ;-)

Cosima said...

Lecram just told me. Sometimes I am clueless while fully awake.

Trying to be happy and love and being loved is the best recipe for a good life, I think. And I know that you are doing it right.

Of course, the odd drug or two help too.

Jocelyn said...

I want to "like" Haphazard Life's comment. Yea, that and a bag of Doritos will have you running marathons in no time. Or, wait your kids eat the Doritos, and your husband runs the marathon?

Craig said...

Well, you know, we have medical marijuana here in MI. Heck, before the enforcement-types got all persnickety about who counts as a legal distributor, we had a 'clinic' right at the end of our street. . .

coopernicus said...

Dave's not here....

Dave said...

I bet you never even realized that your kids were so worldly-wise about marijuana and how easy it is to acquire Michelle. If we knew what our kids know we would probably be shocked! Glad you got a laugh out of it - Dave

onlinephduk said...

Is that for real? Coz’ if it is then it will surely and must be offered to cancer patients. It will really be a great help especially for the young ones who are suffering of this kind of sickness. I really pity them coz’ they are too young to have this kind of burden in life.


My Webblog: PhD in Distance Learning

Ann Cordner said...

The world is full of experts. We don't have medicinal pot in England, but when I told my doctor that I was thinking about getting wackey backy for my husband he said "I won't fight you on that one Ann".

Daryl said...

back from paris and catching up ... and now i am craving munchies ;)

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Phaedrous said...

Ah, yes, the CURE. I wish I had a joint for every cure offer I received. If I did, I might not be cured, but I would be happy.

Stay happy, Lime. Given the choice, choose the happy route. Cancer hates that.

P.

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