Monday, September 02, 2013

Isn't It Romantic?

Calypso and Diana were discussing the show Game of Thrones when Calypso swooningly made mention of how one character referred affectionately to his wife as Moon of my Life.  I snorted and remarked that it sounded like she bared her buttocks derisively to her husband to have earned such a pet name.  Calypso was annoyed by my interpretation.  Mr. Lime was inspired and told me I was the hemorrhoid of his butt.  I smiled sweetly and cooed how he was the pus of my pimple.  We were off an running.  Allow me to share the list of other terms of endearment we swapped as we gazed lovingly across the living room.

He is the eye crust of my morning.

I am the scab of his kneecap.

He is the wax of my ear.

I am the snot of his cold.

He is the flake of my eczema.

I am the cavity of his tooth.

He is dandruff of my scalp.

I am the fungus of his feet.

He is the ingrown nail of my toe.

I am the lint of his navel.

He is the stink of my armpit.

I am the canker sore of his lip.



With that our daughters groaned in complete revulsion and left the room...which is more or less the reaction a big, wet smooch used to get when they were younger.  Some people just have no sense of romance.




13 comments:

Craig said...

You guys are so sweet. . .

I'm thinking about 'Moon of my Life'. . . She's kinda dim, and her life revolves around him? As opposed to, say, the Sun, who is the center, and gives life and light and warmth to everything. . . I dunno, if I were her, I might be just a tad underwhelmed. . .

But, you know, Jen can moon me any time she wants, and I probably won't complain. . .

joeh said...

You would have had me at "eye crust of my morning."

Jocelyn said...

You've kind of set them up so that whatever Sweet Nothings their future mates whisper to them, it's going to sound like The World's Most Romantic Words.

Jinksy said...

Wonderful list of endearments! LOL ♥

Daryl said...

big sigh

Bijoux said...

I can't help but think of Moon pies, so that's a sugary endearment to me.

Stephen Hayes said...

I think you have here the makings of a new line of Greeting cards for peculiar lovers, of whom I'm sure there are many.

Beach Bum said...

Somewhere in the back of my head I remember a movie where an old couple exchange such sentiments with each other. The kicker comes when the old woman pushes her "beloved" off the side of a steep California cliff which offered a nice view of the Pacific Ocean.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

I have nothing profound to share.

silly rabbit said...

Ha! Love it!

Kat said...

He is the booger to your nostril. The canker sore to your cheek.
The maggots to your roadkill.
The yeast infection to your...

Oh wait. That is probably taking it too far, isn't it?

Ahem.

Sorry.

Hilary said...

If that ain't love, I don't know what is. ;)

Leave It To Davis said...

Y'all are NUTS! :)