Friday 55 & Da Count-Da Fair

Let's go to the Fair.

There are pretty things,

weighty things,

and healthy things.

There are clever things.

There are creative things.

There is different music to hear.

There are fun things to eat.32

There are critters.

Don't let the rain chase you away.

The bright lights beckon.

And don't forget the freaks...
It takes one to know one.

Da Count-A Good Time Had by All

As you recall, on Wednesday I chaperoned a field trip of 400 6th graders to an amusement park. I had in my charge 5 of those 400, 2 boys and 3 girls. They were all nice kids and in spite of the weather being all of 50 degrees and being rained on for the last hour we had a great time. Lemme show you.

And early stop was this ride. One girl was not liking the looks of it so much so I waited with her while the others went on it. No one has to go on a ride that scares them.

We came. We saw. We Sklooshed. The Skloosh is a log flume on steroids. It is designed for maximum splash. After getting soaked riding it you stand on the bridge and let the next one splash you and wet down any parts the initial descent may have missed. Many chaperones were telling the kids they were not allowed to ride the Skloosh because it was only 50 degrees out. I told the kids they could ride it as much as they wanted before lunch but not after lunch so they'd be dry for the ride home. They were very happy and planned to ride all morning. Yay! Isaac's mom is way cool! SKLOOSH!!!!! We are all wet!! Yay!!!! Oh! BRRRRRRR!!!! We are freezing our little 6th grade butts off. Can we be done on the Skloosh now? Are you sure? Y-y-y-yes. W-w-w-w-we are s-s-s-sure. (teeth chattering)

So they decided turning themselves upside down looked like fun. I must say. I thought it looked like fun too, but again there was one member of the group who was not digging the idea so I sat out with her. After this they wanted to head to the roller coasters. All of my kids love roller coasters (I am so relieved because I do too and I would have been very disappointed if I had to sit with someone who was afraid of them and not go on.) so we headed off in that direction but passed the Merry-go-Round first. I got very excited because I've been to this park with my own kids and I know this one has brass rings to grab. I very excitedly told the kids we needed to go on the Merry-go-Round and they told me it was a baby ride. I said no way, we had to go for the brass rings and only Isaac knew what I was talking about. I had to walk them around show them what it was all about and instruct them in the ways of the brass ring. THEN all but one was willing and excited to go on. I said listen kiddo, this isn't scary stuff. This is America! This is a rite of passage! This is the origin of idiomatic speech! You MUST get on this ride and go for the brass ring! The other kids exerted positive peer pressure and said you GOTTA!!!! So she moped onto a horse and stuck her arm out and after her first brass ring she was totally into it. I'd show you pictures but I was too busy hanging off my own carousel pony and pulling brass rings and throwing them back into the lion's mouth. I got 8 rings and got 7 back in. Woohoo, me!

After lunch the kids went on the Hurl-a-Whirl. No that's not the real name but when I watched the pendulum swing and the bit they sat on rotating at the same time what else could I call it. Really! Several of them looked quite green around the gills when it ended. I thought they'd be staggering off like drunks and head for a trashcan to puke. No, not these kids. They ran off and got right back in line...four times. I was getting ill watching.

So I went to a happy place. Ah, green leaves, cool and refreshing, serene and lovely, aaahhhhh......

Then it was time for more roller coasters. This place has not one but 2 wooden roller coasters, which I vastly prefer to the metal ones. I'm old school. The first one before lunch we went on about 4 times. The second one after lunch we went on about 7 times. The second one was the magnificent one with bumps and jerks and huge drops. It's also the one we were on when the sky opened up. It adds something to the experience to be pelted in the face with fat, stinging raindrops when your hurtling down a wooden track at a high rate of speed. For one thing, you find out how broad a range of profane vocabulary can possessed by the sweetest looking freckled-face 12 year old girl sitting next to you as she is digging her claws into your arm. You also learn how long one of the other girls can sustain a blood curdling scream and at what decibel level. At the end of the ride your son announces to everyone within earshot that he may never be able to give you grandchildren. (Holy crap! I bashed my balls BAD during that last bump!) In spite of all this, or perhaps because of all this, as soon as we disembarked from the first run the kids all looked at me with hopeful eyes and begged, "Can we go again?" Cheers all around when I said yes.

We were stopped only by a loud clap of thunder which shut down all the rides. We headed to the souvenir shop, the bathrooms, and back to the bus for the two hour return trip. I wish I could say that was a good time but half way through it a kid two seats in front of us blew chunks all over the seat, the window, the floor, himself, and the girl in front of him. To prevent a chain reaction from the stench every window flew open and we all froze.

Going to my happy place, green, calm, serene, happy, peaceful......