Breaking the Rules

I do love holiday traditions.  I don't want overly unusual food at Thanksgiving.  I want turkey.  At Christmas I like the standard music and baked goods and it's one of the times of year when I crave a liturgical church service.  New Year's Eve and Day all that flies out the window for me.  I don't care about going out to a party and the local foods and festivities don't entice me one bit.

In the past I have written about the horror that is a traditional Pennsylvania German New Year's Day meal...the ever vomitrocious pork and sauerkraut.  If you need an appetite suppressant to get you off to a good start with any weight loss resolutions, by all mean go read that post.  We will not be partaking.  We never do.  The smell of the stuff makes me want to heave.  One year I made a very small concession to my mother-in-law who cannot function without the annual gag fest.  I bought hot dogs and a small can of sauerkraut and said if she wanted it she could have it.  She was appalled that I expected her to cook it herself.  I suggested if I cooked it she may not like the bonus ingredient of my own puke included.  Ok, so maybe I helped you all with that resolution without your need to follow the link.  You're very welcome.  I'm only here to help.

I've not ever had black eyed peas on New Year's Day, though I hear that's a big thing in the south.  I've had Chinese noodle soup where we had to find who had the longest noodle to see who got the best luck of the year.  I've also had Trinidadian fish broth, which is tasty but does have the prize of actual fish heads floating about.  If I were to cook I'd be inclined to something like lasagna or spaghetti and meatballs.  But this year I am not cooking.  Mr. Lime has said he will take care of the meal.

Don't get too excited.

He's making squirrel stew in the crockpot.  As I type my house has the distinctive aroma of redneck culinary delights.  I can't quite describe it.  I have had squirrel in the past.  Once it was grilled, imparting all the flavor and tenderness of my favorite pair of Birkenstocks.  Once I made a potpie of it at Mr. Lime's request.  The  meat was tender and resembled the dark meat of chicken.  It was still...not my favorite.  I will be polite and taste but I have alternate dinner plans.

As you may recall, it is also my tradition not to make resolutions although last year I broke my own rule and made one.  I resolved to throw out any pair of underwear that was not completely comfy, regardless of its condition, even if they were relatively new. I am pleased to report I have kept this resolution.  It's important to keep them achievable.  I have a male friend who has resolved not to eat chocolate covered brussels sprouts while wearing dresses on Tuesdays.  He is clearly a kindred spirit. 

And while I am completely disregarding the traditions of my people let's discuss the Mummers.  If you are from South East Pennsylvania or South New Jersey you know all about these strange men.  They spend all year making feathery, sequined dresses and practicing their banjo playing and strutting to be ready for New Year's Day.  Imagine, if you will, a parade full of large, hairy men (because I think there is a rule for the percentage of body hair a dude must have) in bedazzled drag playing banjos while marching in a fashion suggesting there is a great proliferation of dog poo in their path.  They like to claim this whole bizarre ritual has roots in pre-Christian Saturnalia rites honoring Momus who was expelled from heaven for criticizing the gods.  I do not know where the Mummers stand on the issue of chocolate covered brussels sprouts.

Myself, I plan to pull on some decidedly non-sequined stretchy pants and tie dye then go work on my downward dog in the ancient practice of yoga to be followed by a nice bit of drunken noodles from the local Thai restaurant.  Furthermore, I resolve not to perform a salsa dance while playing glockenspiel when I am at work in the library.