I May Need a Vacation from my Vacation

Did you ever have a vacation that started out full of promise and then failed to deliver?  Uh, yeah.  It was like that.  Did you happen to read about all those nasty storms that caused massive power outages for lengthy periods of time to millions of people in several states all during soaring temperatures?  A certain individual was quite miserable as a result and decided to go home.  My stepmother and I stayed on waiting for power to be restored.  We had the river for cooling off and for bucket flush water.  We got some ice and drinking water elsewhere and just cooked on the grill.  The unhappy person returned later and we tried to make a go of it but the mood was still somewhat strained.  Not exactly the most relaxing time.  However, I managed to read through six books and I took my camera and the big lens for a few walks.  Let us dwell on the loveliness around us rather than the frustration and heat.

 There was a parched field between the house and the river. 

The Queen Anne's Lace was doing fine though.

I chased this butterfly around for quite some time before I caught it still enough to see its wings.

Most evenings are spent on the beach....forgetting outages and spoiling food.

I was pleased with the big lens capturing the liquid gold of the river at sunset.

Aaaahh......tranquility.

The big lens also let me get my first shot ever of the moon where some of the surface texture is evident.

Six books read, a bunch of pictures snapped, and time away from work...hardly a complete loss in spite of the storm and aftermath.

Take Me to the River

I'm headed to my Dad's place in Maryland for my annual "run away from home" week. There shall be books by the beach and mimosa mornings.  Then I'll rejoin my family refreshed and fortified for the next set of summer insanity.  See you all in a week or so.

Slice of Lime-Hate When It Ends

Maryland was good.  

It was relaxing.  

I enjoyed it.  

Then I had to go home. 

I hate when vacation ends.  

This shows my feelings on the issue.

Coming home to chocolate was nice.  It was soothing.

Coming home to find out Isaac had a deer tick (Lyme Disease bearing) on him for over 85 hours, not so much.

Arguing with his doc about whether or not she'd treat him prophylactically after all Calypso has been through, infuriating

Say it with me...

OH HELL NO!*

*We will NOT be waiting for a bull-eye rash which nearly half of all diagnosed patients never display.  We will NOT be relying on blood tests which are notorious for false negative results.  You WILL give my son the necessary antibiotics to prevent him from winding up as sick as his sister was while you sat on your asses and tried to tell me it was all in her head and she just needed a psychiatrist.  Over my dead body!

The Maryland Report

I had a lovely few days at my dad's new place in Maryland.  Here are some odds and ends from my time there.


I rather like the ritual of my dad handing me a glass of Veuve Clicquot upon arrival.  My step-uncle seems to have added the ritual of handing me a mimosa when I walk into his house.

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As always, siting on the beach allows for some fun people watching.  This time there was a group of boys who seemed to be around 10-12 years old.  They were chasing each other in the water and having fun until someone became unhappy and shouted, "Stopping being such a buttcheekface head!"

Buttcheekface Head.  That's my new favorite prepubescent insult.  Jeff and Barry approve.

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Observing someone else's minor drama and having no responsibility to fix it can lend some perspective to the more immediate drama in my own life.  It's helping me stick to my new mantra of "It's not my problem to fix."

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"Watching Gettysburg, eating bad store bought fried chicken and now using the Force to will my wife back home a day early. So far ...nothing."

Mr. Lime overestimates the power of the above pathetic sounding Facebook status to entice me home a day early. 

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Although I was in no hurry to go home it was nice for the Universe to arrange my dad and step-mom to have an argument about a leaky fridge and the skies to open up in a torrential storm to make me more at peace about departure.

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In the last couple of weeks Isaac has taken initiative to search out dessert recipes he can make by himself.  Twice he has baked cookies from scratch.  They came out well.  He even improvised successfully on one when we were missing an ingredient.  When I came home this weekend some of this was sitting on the counter.  I could get used to that sort of ritual too!

Boom-Boom Goes to the Beach: Part 2

As promised here is the second installment of pictures.  First off, the new "cottage."  Uh, yeah, not exactly a cottage.  It may not have a larger footprint than the old place but it's got three levels whereas the old place only had one.  It's got a very pretty spiral staircase which is highlighted in what the family refers to as the penis window there on the side.

The neighbor's van.  Totally groovy!  I dig it!

 

Playing around with portraiture...here's my stepmom.

And Dad...who Isaac describes as "the scary guy who doesn't wear shirts."  He was less than thrilled when I aimed Boom-Boom in his direction but he managed to not grimace.

At least Dad sat still.  I had to chase the bee all over the tops of the flowers.

These were down near the beach.  I dunno what they are.  We'll call them Beachicus Orangium Trumpetia.  I read a Latin primer while I was at the beach.  Yes, I have weird ideas about how to relax.  I'm sure I didn't decline any of that made of botanical name even remotely correctly so clearly I absorbed little from the primer.  I say fake it till ya make it. 

Here is Twinicus Vinum.  (The secret is to say it with confidence.)

The other side of the neighbor's van sums up my whole last year pretty well, dontcha think?

Boom-Boom Goes to the Beach

Several of you seemed anxious for me to take lots of pictures during my time away.  G-man seemed especially impatient for the pictures yesterday when I only shared the "drunkard's steps."  I just got home and had to upload and re-size them all. Anyway, without further ado...come walk with me along the beach.

I love the feel of soft sand underfoot.

It's a river beach so there are lots of pebbles instead of shells.

The north end of the beach.

This year there seemed to be a lot of these butterflies.  They were kind of unusual in their shape and in that they rested with their wings closed rather than spread.

The south end of the beach has an outcrop of rocks that can be tough to cross during high tide (this section of the river is close enough to the bay that it has tides).

Most of the days were rather overcast though it didn't rain so there was only a couple of nights where the sunset was really visible.  I was lucky enough to catch it  once.  Aaaaahhhh.....

Tomorrow I should have more pictures of other things ready to share.

Observations from the Beach

My escape has passed and now it's back to reality.  My time away had some rather interesting moments as did Mr. Lime's time holding down the fort in my absence.

As I mentioned, Dad's place has not yet gained a certificate of occupancy so we stayed with my cross-dressing step-uncle's house.  Ironically, Dad's place seemed closer to ready as the unc's place is a work in progress.  I think his hobby is building something, tearing it apart, and redoing it.  My room was over the garage.  Here are the steps leading to it.  They were a wee tad treacherous.  The odd-ball half step in the middle requires a specific take off foot from each direction.




Sitting on the beach on a holiday weekend provides a variety of opportunities for people watching.  Life around the beach house allowed for some note-worthy observations too.

Under the "Things that Make You Go Hhmm'" file I noticed:

• Those treacherous steps seemed easier to navigate when I had 4 mimosas and 2 bellinis in me.  Strange but true.
• There is something incongruous about a heavily-tattooed, beer-swilling guy lolling in a pink inner tube.
• Even if I have no land line and only spotty, intermittent cell service my family will find a way to let me know all the various levels of drama that continues in my absence.  (Dead car, dead aunt of husband you haven't seen in 7 years, lightning strike, dead router & cable modem).  However, they will be entirely unable to communicate regarding MAJOR financial outlays.  Simply fascinating.
• If you are a woman who weighs over 400 lbs, who has a bosom requiring a bra that could double as a baby sling for twin toddlers, who requires a scooter to get to the beach, and you are wearing a strapless suit I'd have to say attempting a dive into the water may be ill-advised at best.
• People who have been the victims of bigotry are still VERY capable of displaying shocking examples of similar behavior.
• Young women, if you think someday you may want to bear a child you may want to reconsider the large tattoo encircling your navel.  I've seen what happens in bright technicolor and highlighted by a bikini.  
• I can't imagine ever wanting to appear in public in high heels and a see-thru pink latex catsuit but I think it would be a hoot to go out with my uncle when he's in that outfit.

Operation Relaxation: Successful

Dinner with Embee and her family at their house (And how much fun were all of them? Well, she seems to think I did not pick up on her crazy. Personally, I think my crazy just matches hers so it's all comfortably good. Her kids are sweet, funny, smart, and cool enough to be welcoming to Mom's "imaginary friend." Her husband is a stitch because he floored us all by indicating just how much he read up on me to make sure his wife wasn't inviting an axe murderer to join them for dinner...or disjoint them as the case may have been if I were really that sort of crazy. BIG thank yous to all of you for being so hospitable.): check

Safe arrival at one beach cottage (At midnight because the lady in line at the supermarket I stopped at on the way to the cottage after leaving Embee's was very concerned about being charged 10 cents too much for her Hot Pocket and the manager took FIFTEEN minutes to price check the wretched things. If only I'd had a dime to give the woman...): check

Sleeping late: check

Sleeping late: double check

Sleeping late: triple check

Strict adherence to the one garment rule (choose wisely): check

Many libations: check

Generally lovely weather (kinda crazy wind at the beach but that just provided entertainment watching people go chasing for things): check

Many hours in the sun (perhaps a bit more sunblock would have been advisable but no complaints, really): check

Books to read(I had a pile but only got through one. There was some distraction by Sudoku books. Hey, it's not like I have a required reading list, ya know.): check

Dinner out on Dad's dime (complete with waiter who seemed happy to keep checking on our well-being because it meant a chance to also check my cleavage but hey, everyone is happy here...we got good food and good service, I got called "beautiful" [as in, "Ok, beautiful, what would you like, this evening?" Yeah, he worked us all, but who's complaining? He wasn't over the top. If we wanted surliness we'd have gone to the Waffle House.], the waiter got a fat tip, Dad and Mary were entirely amused by the whole scene [and really, could I possibly make this parenthetical aside any longer? It's starting to remind me of Suldog and at this point I am nearly compelled to draw it out as long as possible. I think the point I was trying to make is all but lost now, which is not unlike my own conversation after 2 Mai Tais and half a bottle of wine at dinner, but I have SERIOUSLY digressed...]): check

Two entertaining kittens (very cute most of the time. I didn't even begrudge them wrestling on my bed at 5 AM since, as previously noted, I got to sleep late.): check

Amusing and convivial step-family in nearby cottage (A step cousin even expressed a bit of worry when I showed up far later than they expected me. Nice to know they had my back. I'm lucky Dad married into such a nice bunch.): check

Big pile of fireworks to blow up (and complemented nicely by the bigger pile someone else was setting off on the beach.): check

Aaaaahhh......

Going to the Beach-The Good, the Bad, and the Psycho

Ok, as promised some stories. first of all I have to tell you what an ordeal it was to even leave my house. Back in June the transmission on my van died. After two weeks in the shop it came home with a rebuilt transmission. Less than 24 hours later it went right back to the mechanic because it was leaking tranny fluid. The morons mechanics failed to replace the pan gasket. Mr. Lime departed with his truck before I ever got my van back. When I was told my van was finally ready I found a ride to the mechanic's. Upon my arrival there was a mad scramble to locate my keys. They could not find my keys. Even after they tried damn near every key they had in the place even when I told them it was not MY key they were trying. Finally, as I stood there watching, it was determined they had left my key in the ignition...clicked "on." Ergo, my battery was completely dead. they jumped the thing and off I went with instructions to let them check the car again in a couple of days. For the next two days every time I tried to start the car it protested. when I took it back I mentioned this. They changed the battery terminal clamps. It started. The next morning, the morning I planned to leave for my much needed beach vacation, I went to my car turned the key and got NOTHING. I muttered curses against the mechanics and their forefathers before calling AAA to jump my battery. While waiting for AAA to arrive I called the mechanic and said, "Good morning, this is Michelle DeLime. I have paid you absurd amounts of money in the last two weeks to have cars that run but this morning I have a very dead battery. A battery I paid you to replace just two months ago, so it is still under warranty. Also, you and I both know it is your fault the battery is dead. I am waiting for AAA to come jump it, then I will be bringing it to you to replace the battery immediately BECAUSE I AM GOING ON VACATION TODAY." I got some song and dance about them possibly not having the correct battery in stock. I reminded them I drive a 2000 Caravan, not exactly a rare model, they will find me a proper battery NOW! AAA came and a very pleasant fellow got me going and wished me well. I drove off to the mechanic, handed him my key with a glare that said they damn well better not loose my key and they better not make me wait too long and said I'd just park my carcass right there while they sorted things out. Fifteen minutes later I drove off with a new battery. If they'd have given me one second of crap or so much as tried to suggest I owed them one cent more I was prepared to get in touch with my inner Attila the Hun. Honey, I was sooooo ready to hit the beach.

I returned home, packed the car and off we went only slightly delayed. I picked up Isaac's friend who would be accompanying us and dropped Calypso at my mother's (C had no interest in spending several days in a small cottage with 5 other people, 2 of whom were 12 year old boys). When we finally arrived at the river beach we all changed and headed right to the water where my folks were already floating in the water. I told them my tale of automotive hell and then felt the water rinse all the stress downstream into the bay. Aaaaahhhhh....a few more hours of floating and then reading on the beach followed by a dinner I didn't have to cook and copious amounts of wine and I felt like a brand new woman.

The next day was a real treat when I got to have lunch with the lovely Embee. Now she has a post up second guessing her hostessing abilities but I have to say I found her completely charming, warm, and open. We had a very leisurely and delicious lunch and I so enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with her and met her face to face. Embee, it was a real pleasure and I'd like to thank you. I'd love to get together with you again the next time I make an escape in your direction or if you find yourself in my neck of the woods.

Our "schedule" at the beach is totally laid back. Sleep late, eat breakfast and lunch in our jammies, head to the beach until we watch the sun dip below the horizon, come home, make dinner and bathe, play games, drink, and laugh our butts off with other family members who have their own cottage but come to visit after hours. I don't think we went to bed before 1 AM or rose before 10 AM the whole time. Often it was later on both ends. Bliss.

(When they weren't in the water this is what the boys did. Well, this or bury each other, or dig holes, or beg for ice cream. It's all good.)

July 4th night I earned some cool mom points when I pulled out a trash bag full of pyrotechnics and let the boys set them off for the assembled audience. Oh yeah, I had enough stuff to blow up for a couple of hours. Much fun. Happy audience. Happy boys. Happy mom. Sorry no pictures. I was busy making sure no one blew a finger off.

The psycho part of this total relaxation was Saturday morning when the mother of Isaac's friend popped in uninvited and unannounced. Mind you this was a FOUR HOUR DRIVE. The boys were still asleep. Heck, I had only just rolled my butt out of bed even though it was 10:30 AM. The woman expected the boy to call her three times a day and he obliged her. I was just barely cordial to her. Well, ok, maybe I didn't even attain that level of civility. My father, who would just as soon say "Fuck off" as "How do you do?," informed me if looks could kill I'd be charged with this woman's murder and that I was a bit rude. Admittedly he told me this with his own thinly veiled pride but still, I think the polarity of the earth must have temporarily reversed because he was far more polite than I ever considered being to this woman. She felt the need to stroll through the cottage and inspect everything before she sat on her son's bed and bounced gently while stroking his leg. When it became clear the boy was not going to wake up (and may I say the Academy Award goes to this kid for feigning unconsciousness and who could blame him) and I was not going to extend an invitation for her to stay (given there was exactly one sleeping space left, which would have been sharing my bed, and no floor space for even an air mattress, oh and given that she is a nutjob control freak who felt the need to drive 4 hours to check on her son who had called her thrice daily and who would be home the very next day while passing it off as if she just happened to be in the neighborhood...uh yeah, and I look like Heidi Klum when I put on a string bikini.) she finally departed after about 15 minutes. If you think I am being hard on her let me say when I rolled into the boy's driveway Sunday evening the father AND the college age sister ran out and the first words out of their mouths was a very contrite apology for being unable to prevent the Flight of the Lunatic.

Back to the river that afternoon after dad took us all (minus the nutjob) to a really nice restaurant for a lovely lunch. Tell the river all my frustrations and let them wash down to the bay. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh.....all better. Watch the sunset, devour a couple more books, take a nice stroll on the lovely beach, take some pictures, eat an easy dinner, play some games, and laugh, and let the libations flow...yeah, that's more like it.



Sunday was the only day the weather didn't cooperate to get to the beach since we had thunder storms but that was ok. It helped us feel less bummed about leaving. The rest of the time the weather was great and the water was perfect so I can't complain. I'm just anxious to go back...aaahhhh.....Have I mentioned how much I love going there and how relaxing it is and what a nice time we all had and how thankful I am to my stepmother for handing me my very own key to the place? Aaaaaahhh....



Tomorrow is Wednesday so you know that means something weird (good weird, not psycho weird) about the beach so tune in....

Vacation Brain

I'm back safe and sound. I'm still working on vacation "schedule," which is to say none at all. Google reader showed almost 400 posts on the blogs I have plugged into it. I have a pile of laundry and I should do a real blog post for all of you.

Um, yeah....I mentioned I am still on vacation schedule...and um...bad case of vacation brain....great time. Updates when I can manage to get my act together...but I'm not working too hard on that today yet.

Aaaahhhhh............