God Save the Squirrel

I've never dreamt of a purple squirrel
but now indeed I've seen one.
But I can truly say for sure
I'd rather see than be one.

You can see it for yourself here.  I'm not making this up.

I know they spoke to some biologist trying to get an explanation.  They should have just asked me.  It's obvious the squirrel has gone punk (even though emo is far more current these days but I suppose the squirrels avoid that look for fear the heavy eyeliner will mistake them for raccoons).  I'm quite sure if you look closely you'll find piercings in strange places on that squirrel.  I'd be willing to bet the squirrel does his tail in a row of threatening looking spikes.  The only reason we aren't seeing the studded collar on the squirrel is that he lost it trying to get out of the trap.  And I just know that back among his stash of acorns he's got all the recordings of the Sex Pistols and the Dead Kennedys.

It's rodential rebellion, man! (Which, by the way, would be a cool name for a punk band.)