Slice of Lime-It's So Tasty Too!

I have begun a 10-day nutritional detoxification program that is being offered at work. It's a well put together system with good nutrition and research behind it, not just some over the counter thing.  There's a nutritional drink powder to make sure you're still getting all the vitamins, minerals, and proper balance of fats, proteins, and carbs that you need as you eliminate certain foods which may be causing problems due to sensitivities.  The dietary plan seems manageable and not unpleasant.  It just requires some careful planning.  Tuesday was the first time I used the shake.  Lord have mercy...

When my children were young I taught them not to say they hate the food they are given.  They were allowed to say, "It's not my favorite."  I would like to emphatically state this vile swill which seems barely fit for human consumption and which I like to refer to as powdered sewage is most assuredly NOT my favorite.

I am assured that on days 5-7 of this program I will be craving this shake just to fill me up and stave off hunger.  I think I'm going to have to be hungrier than I've ever been before in my life to experience that particular craving.  If Hugh Jackman presented himself to me naked save for a layer of this stuff I'd likely turn down the opportunity to lick him clean.

Please excuse me.  I need to go shave my tongue.

Eat up!

According to this post at Slashfood.com today is National Scrapple Day. I am willing to bet few of you have so much as the slightest inkling as to what scrapple is. No cheating by Googling or checking out the links first!

Let's back up a bit. Many of you know I used to do Trini Tuesday posts featuring information about the culture, history, and foods of Trinidad or sharing some of my experiences of living there. After about a year and a half of that weekly feature I switched to my home culture and started doing Pennsylvania German Tuesday posts.

Well, scrapple falls very firmly (or should I say splats rather disgustingly) into the Pennsylvania German category. It's a food. Though I have shared recipes of sumptuous delectables I grew up eating and though I observe certain culinary traditions with great gusto this is not one I would ever choose to celebrate. Why, you ask? Let's just take a little looksee at the ingredient list shall we? According to an article found here it is:

"cornmeal mush made with the meat and broth of pork, seasoned with onions, spices and herbs and shaped into loaves for slicing and frying."

image from http://home.comcast.net/~jomercer/Dutch%20Blitzkrieg/db%20pics/faq/scrapple.jpg

Heck, that sounds vaguely similar to sausage and really not too bad at all. But wait! There's more! True enough the old adage tells you if you enjoy sausage don't watch it being made. Scrapple is even worse. First off, it starts by boiling a pig's head. Secondly the "meat" used in scrapple is the stuff not even good enough for sausage. It includes skin, tongues, hearts, brains, livers or as many a Pennsylvania German likes to say, "everything but the oink." After all that offal is boiled with the head to make a broth the meat is removed and cornmeal along with the seasonings and possibly buckwheat is boiled into the broth and the finely minced meat is added back in. Once it's all glopped up it is formed into loaves and left to set up. And you thought spam was a horrid thing!

Theoretically scrapple could be eaten "raw" because it's all been cooked in the process required to make the loaves. That would be terribly unlike the Pennsylvania Germans though. Full preparation includes slicing the loaf and frying the individual slices until they are golden and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. It is generally considered a breakfast food and would be an option alongside bacon or sausage to complement eggs, fried potatoes or perhaps mixed in with all of that together. If it's eaten in slices it might be slathered with ketchup or maple syrup. Occasionally folks may even make a scrapple sandwich. Though why they'd want to is far beyond my comprehension.


I have to admit Mr. Lime, Diana, and Isaac are all fans of this dish which Calypso and I find especially vile. If the lovers of loaved hog offal in this house wish to celebrate National Scrapple Day they will have to do so by their own efforts. Calypso and I will instead be observing an alternate holiday, which Slashfood.com also lists for today, Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day. Bring on the curried venison!

Oh the Irony!

Raise your hand if you have teenagers who keep their rooms like a pig sty.



Yes, it seems to be a common problem. My daughters' rooms are so slovenly one of them won a swinefest contest over at G-man's place. Calypso's room is the first one depicted, Diana's is the last. Take a moment to take a gander. Though I warn you, it's horrific and not for those with a more delicate constitution.



I have coaxed, nagged, bribed, and threatened the girls trying to convince them that the state of their rooms really needs to be improved. Finally, I gave up and shut the doors. However, during Diana's senior year of high school I suggested on more than one occasion that her roommate would not likely wish to live in such a pig sty.



Today I am here to say I stand corrected. I recently had a phone conversation...no, scratch that. I recently listened to a 30 minute diatribe about the revolting ways of Diana's roommate (henceforth known as Miss Piggy) at college. Mind you, I have not actually witnessed the state of the room since shortly after move in so this is all second hand. According to Diana, her roommate would likely challenge Calypso for the title of Swinefest Pig Sty Queen.



The list of complaints in no particular order:

• Miss Piggy goes through a bag of lifesavers a day, tossing all the wrappers all over the room.


• Diana empties her not even full trashcan nightly. Miss Piggy could empty hers every 6 hours but doesn't, mainly because it's been upside down for the last 4 days as of the time of the phone rant. Diana is keeping track.


• Diana nightly puts her books and clothes away and gets out what she will need in the morning. Miss Piggy clomps around at 6am whining because she can't find what she needs in all the piles of crap all over the place.


• Diana also lifts her side of the rug to let all the candy wrappers, water bottles, and other detritus of the day roll back onto Miss Piggy's side. "Mom, you know I want to walk barefoot but I CAN'T! I wind up with a dozen lifesaver wrappers stuck in between my toes and then they collect all the crumbs all over the place!"


• Miss Piggy's boyfriend Kermit spends a LOT of time in the room. Kermit and Piggy have lots of arguments where they pick up trash and throw it at each other. They often miss and junk lands on Diana's bed and desk.


• Miss Piggy's pillow has been on the floor for the last three days. It makes Diana sick to think she might put her head on it. (This coming from the girl who didn't change her bedsheets for about 3 months.)

And the final complaint which just about made me split a gut laughing.

• Diana can only sleep facing the wall because the idea of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the filth is too disturbing to her.

These are only the complaints related to cleanliness or lack thereof. I haven't even shared the ones about how Miss Piggy and Kermit whine endlessly or how Piggy eats up all of Diana's snacks or in the first week used up the 2 cartridges of ink Diana brought for her printer.

That said, Diana does seem to be enjoying her classes and making other friends.

After Diana took a breath and I could stop laughing (yes, I am an evil mother who is enjoying this far too much) I just said I was glad something was motivating her to be a bit tidier and reminded her how I told her before she ever left that her college education would occur as much outside the classroom as in it.

Love It or Hate It?

Well, yesterday's post seemed to have a rather polarizing effect on readers as they expressed either revulsion or delight at the recipe for Chicken and Waffles. So I thought I'd pull this little idea out of drafts and use it today.

According to this article these are the top 10 polarizing foods. I'll add my take on it and you may feel free to offer yours.

White Chocolate
Just to eat a chunk of it doesn't really do it for me but if it's in combination with something else (especially if wrapped around some lovely dark chocolate truffle filling) it has its merits.

Cilantro
I learned it's an acceptable substitute for one of the main seasonings (which I have yet to find here in Pennsylvania) required in Trini cooking so I am all about the cilantro. Plus it's a must have for salsa.

Eggplant
Not a fan of this really. I have had some eggplant parmesan that was good but it has to be done just right.

Coconut
I absolutely despise coconut in chocolate or anything sweet like cream pies or ice cream. That said, a cold, green nut cracked open on a hot day in the tropics is a might refreshing drink and I like scooping out the jelly afterwards. I also like things made with coconut milk like hot Thai food. Basically if it goes with savory things I like it, sweet things it's gross.

Tomato
Love it. There is nothing like a home grown, fully ripe tomato sliced up and sprinkled with some black pepper...Mmmmm...slurp. Isaac find them completely revolting though (but he likes tomato sauce and marinara as long as it isn't chunky). I also know another person who won't eat them because he likens them to human flesh. How he knows what human flesh tastes like (beyond, ya know, licking someone) I really don't want to know.

Anchovies
I absolutely do not want them on pizza or even in any kind of discernible form but I do realize a proper Caesar salad requires their incorporation and I like that. Also, they are in Worcestershire sauce, which I also use. A little of these goes a long way. I only want a trace of them.

Black Licorice
Blech! Barforama! There is no context in which I like this, it's the first officially negatively polarizing food on this list as far as I am concerned. Ptooey!

Stinky Cheeses
I have come to realize different people regard different cheeses as stinky or not. I love me some good Swiss cheese. I have a pal who calls it stinky feet cheese. It never struck me as stinky. I draw the line at cheese with veins of mold running through it. Yeah, if you want to say I lack refinement that's ok by me. How in the name of all that's delicious did someone ever decide moldy cheese made in a cave full of bat shit was the height of taste? Gagalicious.

Mayonnaise
Vile, revolting congealed globs of snail trails and snot. The slime factor is just too much. I'll pass. Miracle whip isn't any better in my book. Excuse me, I need to go shave my tongue just thinking about all of this.

Bell Peppers
Love em. Raw or roasted they are good.

Beets
This is another thing I can take or leave depending upon the context. I've had them in salads and liked them. I've had them boiled beyond recognition and lived to tell the tale but would never crave them. In Pennsylvania German cooking you can find such a creature as Red Beet Eggs. The eggs are pickled along with red beets so they turn a very pretty magenta but you loose me at the point where you've pickled the eggs at all. The addition of red beets doesn't sell me any more on the concept. Oh and while we are at it....

I hate hard boiled egg yolks. Bleck. It's like eating a tray of damp chalk dust. When I was a kid my mother used to pack a hard boiled egg and a teeny weeny Morton salt shaker in my lunch for school. Every single day I ate the white very happily and threw the yolk away. All the while I envied Guy DeStefano who got Pop Tarts in his lunch. Oh, and for the record, I like the runny yolks in fried eggs, I like scrambled eggs, etc. It's just the horrid texture of a hard boiled egg yolk. If you think mixing them with mayo and mustard to make deviled eggs is going to help, you're out of your mind. Ptooey... I gotta go shave my tongue again.


I'd also add squash and okra to the list.
Personally, I love squash. Love it. Love it. There's a nice restaurant here that in the winter makes a squash cannelloni I love. When Dad took me to Philadelphia a few months ago I ordered this acorn squash roasted with apple cider that was to die for. I make stewed squash and dump it over rice and I am a very happy girl. I also make a butternut soup Diana and I fight to the death over. My Dad, on the other hand, the man who brags about the bizarre foods he has eaten on business trips to China, will not touch squash. He can drink snake blood but squash makes him gag. Go figure.

Finally, I am no fan of okra. Once again, there is the slime factor going on, and there is a certain odd aromatic quality to it that I can only deal with in limited doses. I discovered this in Trinidad because it's a component of callaloo, which is widely regarded as the national dish. Callaloo is like meatloaf in that everyone on the island makes it but everyone has their own twist on it. I found I really disliked callaloo made by the folks with a heavy hand for the okra but if the cook went easy on the okra I liked it. If it was like my friend Petal made, with some pigtail in it...mmmmm, bring it on.

And since we are talking Okra, which is a southern staple let's talk grits. I am one yankee who happens to like grits. I can't say as I have ever made them myself but I do enjoy them when I venture into Dixie. Cheese grits or grits with brown sugar and butter. It's all good. Actually, I'd even eat plain grits even though it looks like a bowl of wall paper paste and doesn't taste like much more than that. In case you're wondering, no, I was not one of those kids who ate paste in kindergarten. I thought Artie Meyers was out of his mind when he did that.

Vente Vanilla Latte...Hold the Mushrooms

*image from http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/3/39/Yogi_Bear.gif/180px-Yogi_Bear.gif

Remember those fungus among us moldy mushrooms I mentioned last week? We now have conclusive evidence that even large, hungry omnivorous animals won't eat them.

We live in black bear country which means we cannot just put our garbage can outside unprotected. That's like setting out a bear buffet and ringing the dinner bell. When the bears are bulking up prior to wintering in their dens or in the Spring when they first emerge ravenously hungry are the two worst times for garbage raids. We have a sort of shed-like thing that fits two large garbage cans (even though we barely even fill one can a week) and can be closed up with latches. It usually is a sufficient deterrent.

Mr. Lime came home after dark last night and found the shed up-ended, the cans tipped over, the bag shredded, and its contents strewn all across the front yard. Mr. Lime also reported the coffee filters and empty bottle which contained French vanilla creamer had suffered a great deal of damage. (The idea of a grumpy bear in bad need of a java fix strikes me as funny.) The moldy mushrooms remained untouched.

Pennsylvania German New Year

As you know, I have been sharing various Pennsylvania German traditions lately. They've all been things I love about my culture and background. Today I will share something that I find truly revolting. This is a tradition I am glad to say my mother never tormented me with when I was growing up, but I have endured under other people. Times when I have spoken out against it I have incurred the wrath of angry dutchmen, had my character questioned, and been told I clearly am lacking in appreciation for my upbringing. I've been viewed with not a small amount of contempt. In my humble opinion I will gladly bear the burden as I continue to campaign against so horrific a tradition as this.

By now you must be wondering what atrocity I may be about to introduce you. Be warned, it is not for those with a weak constitution. Only those with the strongest stomachs and a taste for utter vileness could begin to endure it. It is the New Year's Day meal..........

Pork and Sauerkraut.

Excuse me while I take a minute to regain my composure. Even typing the words made me feel queasy. *Shudders*

Now I can appreciate that in the dark days of winter centuries ago sauerkraut was the main source of vitamin C and other important nutrients. It kept my ancestors from developing scurvy and other unpleasant deficiencies. May I just give a whoop and a holler and an Hallelujah for fresh citrus fruits and multivitamins in this day and age? Sorry, I simply find sauerkraut to be an entirely horrendous thing to eat. The smell alone makes me nauseous. Growing up in PA dutch country the school served this swill once a week. It was torment because that stench wafted through the entire school and the closer I got to the cafeteria the more pungent the smell was and the more I began to struggle to control my gag reflex.

Mr. Lime's mother grew up in a PA Dutch area and would not consider forgoing this traditional meal on New Year's Day for fear of tempting the fates to curse her with bad luck, not to mention she actually likes the stuff. There is no accounting for taste in some people. Fortunately for me, although Mr. Lime grew up eating it and actually likes the taste, his more delicate gastrointestinal makeup does not find Pork and Sauerkraut a particularly agreeable combination. He can eat one or the other, but not the two in combination.

His mother reeled in shock and horror during our first New Year's together. She asked if anyone was opposed to the traditional New Year's Fare. Being the naive bride I was, I assumed asking for my opinion meant a truthful answer was actually desired. I quickly, though respectfully, expressed my fervent desire not to be subjected to the putrescence that is a PA Dutch New Year's Day meal. After the flames from her eyes stopped burning through my chest I steadied myself and added that her son, though he enjoyed the food, preferred not spending all of January 2 feeling like his innards were being torn inside out. Such impertinence! The flamethrowers were turned to 'incinerate.' I was directed to provide the family with alternate eats and prepared a somewhat crunchy lasagna as the recipe I had for lasagna that required no precooking of noodles did not turn out quite as well as it had every other time. It must have been the start of bad luck that I brought on us for all of the year by avoiding the ritual of rotted cabbage. No matter, I defiantly waived a forkful of firmer than al dente pasta heavenward.

Over the years I have tried traditional New Year's food from other places. We had two different Taiwanese students live with us and they treated us to a lovely sort of noodle soup in which the trick was to see who found the longest noodle in his or her bowl to determine who would have the best luck of the year. In Trinidad the tradition is to have fish broth either on Old Year's Night (it's not called New Year's eve there) or New Year's Day. That was tasty enough but I wasn't too crazy about fish heads floating in my soup bowl.

I understand different parts of the USA have different traditional foods too. I have no doubt many countries have different foods too. Share with me your menu for good luck in the new year. I'm looking for an alternative. Let me know especially if chocolate is involved. In the meantime, the Lime family will be pushing our luck and having stuffed shells this year.

Happy New Year to each and every one of you.