Two Weeks*

Remember this post from January when I bemoaned the intended replacement of a shower door leading to the total gutting of my bathroom?  Just in case you forgot, here's a little reminder.  That's my shower after it was gutted to the studs and the floor was broken up.  It revealed even worse damage than what was behind the walls because the idiot who installed it nailed the sub-floor to the dryer vent allowing decades of moisture from the punctured vent to poor into the floor.  Mr. Lime says it was a miracle I didn't wind up falling through the floor.




It's been two weeks* since the work to strip down and rebuild the bathroom has begun.  It's still not done but we estimate it should be done in....two weeks.*  There were delays due to the unbelievably harsh winter.  For example, when you have to shovel two feet of snow off your roof, and then the neighbor's because they are overseas, it kind of wears you out for remodeling.  There was winter illness.  There was the need to completely re-plumb the house.  Little things, you understand.  Then a stretch of free weekends and a flurry of activity brought us to the point where Mr. Lime could finally spackle.  He hates to spackle.  He hates it almost as much as he hates painting.  Me?  I like to paint.  I don't spackle though.  He pretended there was no spackling to be done for a while.  He struggled through the first coat.  He begged a friend to do the second coat.  He sanded it....sort of.  Then he turned it over to me for painting because the only thing he hates more than spackling is painting.  He did enjoy building that nifty little built in shelf unit though.  It's made from local ash his friend milled.

As you can see in the picture above and in this picture, I painted.  I am given to extensive deliberation over paint colors but this time around I was pretty quick about it.  I opted for Woodrow Wilson Putty because nothing says bathroom luxury quite like conjuring images of the POTUS spackling my bathroom.  I've decided to give up on becoming a librarian.  The pay stinks. I'll need student loans.  I have to deal with the public.  I'm gonna find me a nice gig naming paint colors because I am pretty sure with names like Woodrow Wilson Putty they just sit around the pool drinking heavily while they sort paint chips.  Whaddya wanna call this faded yellow chip here?  How about Millard Fillmore Wax? 

Oh and check that medicine cabinet.  Mr. Lime recessed it for me even though it was supposed to be a wall mount.  I appreciated his indulgence in this matter.

Once I finished the priming and painting (and may I say I find it hard to believe someone finds plumbing preferable because painting is a zen thing for me) I turned the room back over to Mr. Lime.  Today he put the ceramic tile floor in. It's starting to look almost like a bathroom instead of a nightmare.  It should be done in two weeks.*















*The term "two weeks" should not be taken literally.  It should be regarded as an estimate for an indeterminate amount of time which could be greater than or less than two calendar weeks, in fact, it is best to just disregard any calendar at all and assume a span of time which may best be characterized by the term "era."  Failure to release any and all expectations regarding estimates of completion date may lead to hypertension, stroke, outbursts of rage, existential crisis, hallucinations, severe nostril cramps, hammertoes, alopecia, simple chronic hallitosis, and irritable spouse syndrome. 

The Plumber is Cracked

Remember this post when I showed the demolition of my bathroom and said it would look that way and worse for some time to come?  Yeah, that was the beginning of January.  It's now April and still not done.  I'm getting a wee tad desperate here.  I think the project is beginning to affect Mr. Lime's brain though.  Allow me to share.

I mentioned on Facebook a couple nights ago that I thought he may be spending too much time alone with pipes because I overheard him speaking to fixtures and pipes saying, "Come on, baby!  Oh yeah!  You're a dream come true!"  I thought if I dabbed some pipe dope behind my ears it may elicit some passionate encouragement directed at me.

We selected a shower, vanity, toilet, and tile and Mr. Lime has installed the shower.  Since the medicine cabinet just came in he said we needed to go get a light fixture and I wanted to get some paint chips to coordinate with a tile sample.  On the way to the store he complained the vanity being made in China, as were many other bathroom components.  I held up the porcelain tile square remaking that it had been made in USA.  I thought about it a moment and added that I thought porcelain may have been invented in China. 

Mr. Lime huffed, "The Chinese invented EVERYTHING....well...except for Velcro.  The aliens gave us that."

I asked, "Stonehenge, crop circles, and Velcro, huh?  All the works of extraterrestrials?"

He responded, "Definitely."

There ya have it, folks.  I thought my sanity was at stake in this whole process but it's clear his cheese has already slipped off his cracker.

I thought better of asking if Bigfoot worked in carpentry and the Loch Ness Monster was in HVAC.