Oh the Irony

This week is National Library Week.  I live in the state which brought you the United States' first free public library.  I also live in a state which schedules all the statewide standardized testing for 3 weeks in April.  Wanna take a wild guess as to when all that begins?  Yep, today.  Wanna guess where the testing takes place in my schools?  Yep, the library.  Therefore, during National Library Week we can't have any book circulation.  It's enough to make a library lady either cry or rampage.  In order to soothe myself I bring you some interesting happenings in the library lately.

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The kindergarteners get very excited when I come to pick them up.  One little guy, who is enthusiasm embodied, shouted upon seeing me, "It's Library Girl!!!"  I thought it made me sound like a superhero so I am adopting it as my new moniker. Faster than an OPAC! Able to leap tall stacks of books in a single bound. She stands for facts, information, and the literary way!  It's a teacher, it's a book lover, it's Library Girl! 

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A student was dawdling in choosing a book after his teacher had given the countdown for finishing. He grabbed a book off the shelf and moseyed to my desk.  As he arrived he announced, "I'll take this book,  It's sucky, but I'll take it." Nope, we have 10,000 books here there is no reason for you to grab one you think is sucky.  Go find one you actually want.  He said he couldn't find one. I asked what he liked.  He told me.  I stuck a book in his hand.  He looked at it and said, "This doesn't look like it sucks."  Good, try to enjoy it.  Maybe he needs to go spend some time with the kindergarteners.

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I have long had a big soft spot for six year olds in glasses.  I also collect Caldecott Award winning books. When a glasses sporting six year old comes to the library and asks on every visit if he can have a "reward" book* I am a complete goner.

*The first week I said I wasn't sure what he meant by "reward book" and asked if he could explain more about it.  He drew circles in the air and declared, "They have gold and silver circles on the covers!"  It was at the end of a  long day.  His little grin when I handed him Officer Buckle and Gloria totally made up for his one classmate who drove me nuts.

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One  little girl came up clutching a Disney book and begging, "Please, Miz Lime, can you order lots more Disney books?  They're my favorites!!!"  I told her that was a great idea and she ought to talk to the principal about it.  Bewildered, she asked why.  I explained that is because the principal decides how much money the library gets for ordering new books each year...and that it's been five years since our library had new books ordered.

Lime...disseminating information and fomenting unrest among primary students since 2012.

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At the same library we have a tile floor.  Judging by how long certain spills have remained untouched, the floor has not been mopped all year.  Could I do it?  Yes, but I spent a lot of time cleaning up after adults last year.  I've asked repeatedly for people to clean up after themselves. I've been told the custodial staff is responsible.  My take home pay for a full-tome job running two libraries is less than what my kid earns at a part time job serving burritos.  I expend a lot of energy just keeping 22, 000 books in order.  I figure if the floor looks hideous enough maybe someone will finally be compelled to do is or her job. That has proved to be unsound logic.  I am now considering finding a kid with the belly bug and having him strategically barf in the library to get the floor mopped.

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I have a fifth grader who has asked me for books on quantum mechanics and the works of Shakespeare.  She has been so understanding when I have told her we have nothing like that.  I so wish I could put something in her hands that she wants but I am encouraged that she tells me she gets to the public library where she can find these things.

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One student returned a badly damaged book.  In such cases I assign the fine after speaking with the student to see if there is a plausible story or any sense of responsibility or contrition.  This student seemed to have both so I showed her that the cost of the book, which I could not repair was $18 and I told her I would only fine her $5.  We are a very poverty stricken district.  So few fines come in....ever.  She sat down, thought a moment, and asked if she could still check out a new book.  I reminder her that all books and fines have to be taken care of before new books can be selected. 

Her: Well, my parents were going to focus on buying me stuff on Friday so I don't think they will be able to send the money in.
Me: Perhaps you could suggest they buy you $5 less "stuff" and send it in for the fine.  Better yet, you could go home and ask them for some chores to do to earn the money to pay for the book.
Her: (indignantly) I don't like chores!
Me: (arching a single eyebrow and questioning my earlier sense of mercy) No one likes chores but they are a responsibility...just like that book you didn't take good care of.

It was a more professional response than what I wanted to say which was, "Then it sucks to be you."

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I may be Library Girl but it takes more than Super Human strength not to burst out laughing when a first grader checks out a book about outer space and announces, "YOOOOOOUUR-anus is an AWESOME planet!"

Slice of Lime-Disorder in the Library

As one who runs two elementary school libraries with 22,000 books between them I spend a lot of time shelving books.  I don't mind.  I like the library to look neat.  It's more inviting that way.  Shelves such as this one are not what anyone wants to search through.  At the beginning of the year I discuss with all my students how to help keep the shelves neat.  An important way is to use a shelf marker to hold the spot a book came from while a student looks at a book to decide whether or not to check it out.  If they don't want it they slide it back in where the marker is and move on.  It's a good system...if it's used. I also tell them if the books tip over they can use the book ends to give the books a hug to help them stand up again.  Certain popular shelves like this one containing the "how to draw" books often wind up looking ransacked because too many kids crowd into it at once and just start grabbing books.





Over the course of a day I have many requests from students to help them find particular books.  I am happy to help.  That's my job.  It's why I am here.  I am sometimes astonished that the same kid can ask me every time where the same thing is and can't remember from week to week.  It's not as if I go moving around the entire library for kicks and giggles just to confuse them.  I even have signs labeling the walls and shelves as to locations of certain genres.  But I roll with it.  They are kids.  Kids need things repeated.  However, when I take someone by the hand to show where the graphic novels are located and I walk into this kind of disarray after a day of books on the floor and ill-behaved classes....well, let's just say I begin to teeter on the knife edge between gentle library lady and cranky library lady.

I'm not fond of the above scenes but at least all the books are still on the shelves and, in the first shot, sort of in order.  When I see books on the floor like this I get a wee bit testy.  Pick them up and lay them flat on a shelf.  Earlier this week I made one class stop what they were doing and come take a look at a particular aisle because  well over a dozen books were laying all over the floor and people were walking around them and ON them and Mrs. Lime.was.not.one.bit.happy.about.that!  Furthermore if you were in that aisle you better fess up now and get yourself back in there to pick a book up off the floor. NOW!  You have been coming here all year and you darned well know better than that.




My darlings, I want you all to learn a love of books.  I want you to enjoy your time in the library, what little of it you have (and admittedly, it is not your fault the administration only allows each class 20 minutes).  I want to make it a safe and happy place of learning.  For the love of books, I want you to pick up the books and use the shelf markers.

I Can't Make This Up

All my students in both my schools have been told on numerous occasions, "The book you check out under your name is YOUR responsibility, not your teacher's, or parents', or friend's.  YOURS."  All students have also been told if they owe a book or a fine to the library there will be no new books checked out until the book or fine is returned or paid.  I am also quite specific that students not swap books after they have been checked out because it's a problem if books are swapped and one person returns but the person swapped with does not.  These are not mysterious or fluid standards.

Here then in a conversation I recently had with a principal.

Principal: (showing me an overdue notice I had printed out for a student)  This student's family member was quite upset because it is claimed the student was not permitted to touch any books and had to sit with head down on the table.

Me: That's not the case.  Students with overdues may not check books out but they may look at books or magazines while classmates check out new books.  There were no behavior issues in any of my classes yesterday that would have led me to tell a student to sit with head down.

Principal:  Ok, I didn't think the story I was told was accurate but I wanted to check.  So at what point can the student check out a new book?

Me: When the last book is returned or, if it is lost, the fine is paid.

Principal: You won't just make the overdue or fine go away so the student can have a book?

Me: No.  Borrow a book, bring it back.  Lose a book, pay for it.  I don't publicize this but as long as something is paid I accept it as the full fine, on the recommendation of the former librarians.  Also, for those students and their families who have no means to pay I allow them to work off the fines by rendering service to the library.  Students must take responsibility for the materials they borrow.

Principal:  (unhappy with my "inflexibility" on the issue) Hhmph.  Well, fine.  (pausing)  You know, I have a $60 fine at the public library.  It's not fair.  I lent my card to a friend who borrowed a bunch of books and never returned any of them  They won't let me check out books until I pay the fine but I shouldn't have to because she borrowed them not me.  I'm boycotting the public library.

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I would like it noted for the record that I did not immediately offer my unvarnished opinion of the complete and utter stupidity I was hearing.  I'm not sure if I was more shocked that my principal felt justified in refusing to pay her fine (accrued because she stupidly let someone else use her card) or the lack of shame in relating her opinion insofar as she thought I might be a sympathetic audience.  Either way, the shock served to protect my job as it rendered me momentarily speechless.

To be clear, when the Limelets were small our rule was no library books go outside the house.  Diana was six when she decided to sneak her new library book outside.  It wound up spending the night in a mud puddle.  The fine was $20.  I paid it because Diana did not have $20 but she dried dishes after dinner for months to earn the money to pay me back.....because I am not the one who broke the rule and left the book in a puddle overnight.  It took months because she often complained bitterly about the oppressive task she was assigned.  The complaining was so persistent I told her if she spent too much time griping she'd still dry the dishes and pay me to do so instead of being paid.  Her account balance fluctuated wildly at times depending upon her attitude.

So yeah, I'm all about the responsibility, though I now have a better idea of why so many folks (not all) at that school just don't seem to give a damn.

Friday 55-Bibliophiles

FRIDAY 55

I start my morning duties 

in the cafeteria.

Some kids wave 

 across the room.

Others run for a hug.

Some sheepishly admit 

they forgot their books.

Others tell me 

they love their books.

I end my day

in the library.

Some kids scowl.

Another cries.

When they refused to behave

I took away the books.

Sick of my tales of library misbehavior yet?  Two classes found out today that even if their teachers are willing to put up with mayhem I am not (and I have yet to see the class I described last week again).  Today's shenanigans involved first graders and third graders.  The first graders seemed to think the shelves were monkey bars.  The third graders were running all over their substitute teacher and were so loud it was impossible for the class on the other side of the partition to hear their teacher.  Both classes found out I am not messing around and I will make good on my threats.  I felt bad for the very few well-behaved kids in each class.

I'll hold them accountable but I won't hold grudges.  One little fellow who had an issue a few weeks ago has settled down nicely and likes to come tell me about his pet and what he liked about his books.  I only have about 20 minutes with each class.  It's not a lot of time to build rapport with 1400 individual kids but I try to at least address them each by name and give them each a smile with eye contact.  If I have an extra moment I try to engage them about whichever book they chose or ask them to tell me about their favorite part when they bring it back.  I remind them to be bibliophiles every day.  It's a little victory every time a kid sees me in the hall or cafeteria and points at me while shouting, "Bibliophile!"

And as much as I hated to do it, depriving a few unruly kids of books for one rotation and seeing them unhappy about that gives me more hope that they will learn what they need to learn than seeing a kid come into a library with 11,000 books and tell me there is nothing there he is interested in.

Friday 55-Going a Round in the Library

FRIDAY 55

They enter in a fury.

The thud of fist meeting flesh 

followed by angry words

meets my ears.

The teacher says nothing

so I WILL.

The library is NOT a boxing ring!

There will be NO fisticuffs!

We don't know that word.

Fine, here's a dictionary.

Sit down. 

Be quiet.

Look it up.

Learn something.

There is one class that early on established itself as problematic to say the least.  Completely out of control in truth.  The teacher is either incompetent, burned out, or apathetic because there isn't even an attempt at maintaining even a shred of discipline.  It's just utter chaos constantly.  Since the teachers are the professionals and I am the subordinate paraprofessional I don't buck any methods of classroom management.  I figure they spend all day every day with these kids and if they have a system that works I am not going to mess with it for the 20 minutes every other week that I see them.

Of course, that presupposes an actual system is in place.  With this class it is apparent that assumption is incorrect.  Today, as they entered the library,  two different students threw punches at two others (who were reported by several witnesses to have provoked the situation).  I wish I could say I was as creative in handling it as I was with the 55 up there but I wasn't.  I did, however, get the four kids in question under control and I meted out consequences....no thanks to their teacher who stood there watching like a half-wit.  When the rest of the class realized I meant business they shaped up pretty quickly.

Next time they come in there will be a new and very strictly enforced set of rules in place for their visits.  Pugilists and hooligans be warned.