Friday, March 24, 2006

Nanofiction

Susie has suggested a new Friday feature called Nanofiction. In 55 words or less we are to write a story. I'm not sure if I will do this every Friday or not, but I thought I'd give it a go this week because she asked so nicely and some of the other things I want to say I am still mulling over. I'm going to put a 'Lime twist' on it though. In the comments I want you to either add to the story or else flesh it out and tell me more about the setting or the background of the characters. Maybe that voids the idea of nanofiction, I dunno. But I like to encourage interaction. So without further ado....



Strangers cross paths in a crowd but a flicker of recognition brightens his face. The familiar knot from years ago tightens in her stomach when their eyes meet. She submissively turns her gaze downward to avoid him but then sets her jaw, stands straight, lets the throng carry her away, and remembers...she is free.


Ok folks, after you tell me 'who,' 'why,'or 'what next' have a great weekend.

13 comments:

James Goodman said...

A smile spreads across his face. He has wondered where she went. She disappeared so long ago, he almost doesn’t recognize her. He has dreamed about finding her for years. They have unfinished business together.

Jericho said...

He turns, feeling embarrassingly young as he stands on tiptoes, trying desperately to spot her head among the dozens bobbing, ebbing, flowing. He stands down and snakes through the crowd, following a memory.

She focuses forward, keeping memories at bay with only a sheer, flimsy will. The horror of that night still chases her. She understands that he tried to rise above it, pull her out of it. No matter though. In her life, he belongs to that night. It surrounds him like a shadow. A shadow with wings. A shadow that threatens to blot the very day.

He stands on the corner now and catches a glimpse of her. It has to be her, there. Slipping into Yesterdays Fashions. He stands into the wind, selfishly moving after her.

She glides through the shop and into the backroom. She puts her purse in her locker, realizes she is ten minutes early, and steps outside the backdoor to have a smoke. She succumbs to that other yesterday, almost willingly. Regretfully, still. Stubbing the coal on the brick wall, she mutters, "Somethings must stay in yesterday. It's as simple as that."

She clocks in. She practices a smile. She pushes the swinging doors. She hears her boss on the phone. She hears the tingling bell signaling, calling to her. Someone is entering today.

logo said...

I like it. You know your spine contains quite a bit of cartilage as a youth, it starts to harden in the late teen and early adult years. You can lose some flexibility, but you gain stability and strength.
Growing a spine is a good thing.

Top cat said...

I like your thoughts and word images, very good lime.
It's a great start, my brain is non-functional at this moment or I would add something.
Great stuff!
tc

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Good start.

She was in an abusive relationship with this man. He's been in other such relationships since that time. She's not going to let him back into her life. Unfortunately, he will try.

barefoot_mistress said...

Slipping into Yesterdays Fashions...brilliant, Jericho!

Will check back later to see how the story goes...

snavy said...

What Top Cat said ...

Very cool meme though. Everyone is so creative.

Lime - I'd love to hear more of the story from you - very nice.

lecram sinun said...

I've ust posted sections o my show that I did at the Rogue. :)

truckdriver_sefl said...

Nice start:-} Have a GREAT weekend!

Mark Leslie said...

Okay, that nanofiction is just so cool that I don't WANT to add to it and possibly spoil the really cool effect you left me with.

Just want to sit back and enjoy it - nicely done! :)

Phain said...

She put in motion a set of events long ago when she walked out that door. And now, knowing that he was there, behind her, the old doubts and fears came flooding back. He rushed forward, plunging into the crowd, straining ahead, keeping sight of her bright red hair. He knew he had to reach her and to speak with her if only for a moment. Minutes passed as she hurried along towards her destination, feeling that with every step she took, she was once again free from his grip, free from his lies, free from his emptiness. As she turned back to see that he was really gone she came face to face with her past and he stood before her trembling. "You can't be here," she said, "it's just not possible that you've found me." "I knew that one day I would run into you again, all I had to do was be patient." Her head dropped to her hands as she let go of a soft wimper. The tears burned hot as they begain to fall down her cheeks, salty as they passed her lips. She knew she would have to break free all over again, only this time it would be harder to disapear. This time, she would have to leave behind everthing and everyone. This time, it would be forever.

Blueprincesa said...

That's beautiful.

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