Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Weird Wednesday-Crying Fowl

Ok, forgive me more Isaac anecdotes. Eleven year old boys provide such a lot of material for wonderful weirdness.

#1
What do you get when you cross 3 boys, ages 11-13, a rubber chicken, a football, a brick, and a muddy back yard?

Any guesses? Oh come on...

Poultry ball! And no I am not joking. I'm sure it will be the latest sports craze to sweep the nation. The brick is home plate. One pitches the football. One stands at bat while holding the rubber chicken. One squats as catcher. Since a rubber chicken does not have quite the oomph of a bat and a football has more mass than a baseball physics dictates hitting for distance is not the point. The location of other bases is somewhat in question but there seems to be a lot of sliding toward whatever might suggest a base.


I asked if there were any rulings on fowl balls or fly balls. I suggested the mudhens as a mascot. I asked about scoring and if anyone had a goose egg. They invited me to play but I declined, saying I was having fun watching. They called me a chicken.


#2
Isaac had a homework assignment in Language Arts. He was to write a personal narrative. On Monday he had asked to go to a neighbor's house to play. He had his watch and I told him to be home by 6pm. At 6:30 after I called for him, he came in apologizing. I said, with perfect calmness, 'Tomorrow you don't leave your own yard.' He replied with similar calmness, 'I know. Sorry.' All was fine.

The narrative had him an hour late. I was worried sick. When he finally got home I flew into a rage and grounded him for a week. He went to his room with a slam of the door.

I asked him if he thought I had really been that mad and pointed out the other points of difference. He said, 'Yeah, I know. You just didn't get mad enough to be interesting.'

Ah, the art of literary embellishment is alive and well at the House of Lime!

20 comments:

Roadkil said...

I can understand this completely. We are having to let our 5 yr old know that it is ok to embelish, but there is a point. It has already started at such an early age and I can imagine what it is going to be like when she can start to write papers.

James Goodman said...

lol, embellishment at 11? The teen years ought to be a blast. :D

snavy said...

What did they do with the brick?

What we have is more like drama than embelishment. For instance, if one of the twins throws a stuffed cat at V, she screams, "Mommy!!! She tried to kill me!!"

steve said...

Ahhh kids!!

Cosima said...

:) When is Isaac starting to write his own blog, I will be his first reader!

barefoot_mistress said...

Ah yes, blaming it on the cat and dog.....LOL

I agree with Cosima, get that kid a blog!..when he's 18

Jodes said...

i am having issues with 4th grade homework, help me.

Blither said...

Ahh.. That Isaac-Monkey brings so much to the blog, Limey Lady! Poultry What? Tee hee!

lecram sinun said...

Yeah Lime, how dare you be calm when you're grounding him??? LOL! Though with the dramatic licence he took I'll wager on a great creative career down the line for him.

Chickadee said...

LOL...I love the Limelette stories you share with us...your children seem to have a flare for the dramatic. :)

BTExpress said...

"I said, with perfect calmness,..."

Perfect calmness? Me thinks there may be a little embellishment in both sides of this story. ;)

Seamus said...

Sounds a lot like the "mush ball" that was played at our house! It always involved more arguing than playing ball!

Just how mad to you have to get to be "interesting'?

lime said...

roadkill, right...the point at which child protective services shows up at the door is way too far!

james, bite your tongue! life with two teenage girls is rough enough!

snavy, the brick was home plate, sorta....as for your girls...i feel your pain.

steve ;)

cosima, you are so sweet. it's a thought though!

susie, well, maybe before 18

jodes, what's up?

blither, the kid slays me regularly, he really does.

lecram, if he eventually writes his memoirs take it with a grain of salt, ok? hehehe

cchickadee, oh they do, they do. but isaac has this deadpan quality his sisters lack. makes him so funny.

btexpress, LOL, ok...my single eyebrow was in full arch. but i truly was not raising my voice or angry.

seamus, good question! i am thinking borderline rabid is what he was looking for.

miss_lissa said...

Oh- I so wanna play that game!!

& as for the embellishment hehe...
I'll say what I say to my kids:

Drama~Drama~Drama!

to which my son replied the other day before stomping off:

Save the drama for yo momma tho, right?

damn! age 9 and he's a lil smartass. lol
I love it.

Rob said...

I wonder where Isaac gets that. Was he adopted?! ;-)

Dr. Psy said...

Wow, you mean you get angry sometimes too? I can't even imagine!

m said...

Your son is hilarious! Except when social services calls based on one of his embellishments...

AndyT13 said...

I don't quite understand the 2nd one but Poultry ball is hilarious!

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

...you know, they're right... your house is going to yeild a LOT of writings... (perhaps a gag order should be written in with the weekly chore list, and notarized.... -they're not 'of age yet,' but still,) ...Nah... this is going to be fun to watch develop. (Also reminds me of this shirt I saw a kid wearing it said. '...make stuff up.'

~TVS said...

Those are priceless. Especially, "You just didn't get mad enough to be interesting."