Friday, September 22, 2006

Friday 55-Da Count

A young woman sobs when she learns she is pregnant. She nurtures this fragile life until the day she hears her daughter's first cry. A world away a couple waits. Their months of patience end and the labor to bring their daughter home begins. Tears of joyful release flow when they hold her at last.


Da Count this week is for adoption. One of my cousins and her husband just came home yesterday from picking up their daughter in Guatemala. Their little girl was supposed to be home back in May but various things have delayed it until now. Tomorow we have a surprise 60th birthday party for another cousin and our newest family member's arrival is sure to be the icing on the cake for the day. The whole family has waited in anticipation. I can't wait to meet her!

As I'm counting her adoption I have to count my own. Mine was arranged before I was born. Unlike hers it occured at a time when secrecy and shame still surrounded so many adoptions. Fortunately I had parents who believed in honesty so I did not experience that in my own family. It's not uncommon to meet people who think that I should have some sort of deep psychological scar due to being adopted. A friend who is a psychiatrist even asked me what my main maladjustment was since he'd never met an emotionally healthy adoptee. I laughed in his face and said he ought to consider that his population sampling was a bit skewed given his line of work.

Is my family perfect? Far from it. Do I have lingering questions about my birthfamily? You bet. But at the end of the day I was wanted, waited for, and welcomed with love and that's something to count. And I can't wait to meet my newest cousin this week too!


If you want to count along click the button in the sidebar.
Have a great weekend!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lime that's a wonderful Da Count. The parents of one of my son's friends have applied to adopt a second baby, and they can't wait until it becomes a reality. As in the case of your cousin's daughter, I know that if their wish comes true, the child will have a great family. It's a shame that in the media mostly the problems concerning adoption are shown. So it's good seeing you setting the record straight :).

lecram sinun said...

I love this, Lime. I am excited for you to meet your new cousin. :) We have friends back home who did the same as your parents... and that girl grew up to be one of the most well adjusted individuals I have ever known. Tis amazing the power of love.

barefoot_mistress said...

Of course, I thought it was you that the 55 was about! That is so wonderful that your cousin has a new baby! XX

A friend of mine, who has been trying to have a baby for 20 years, finally adopted a lovely little girl...she named her Wilder....(Little House on the Priairie fan)

What a wonderful count Lime!

Chickadee said...

Wow, I didn't know you were adopted.

A couple I had babysat for a long time ago adopted a little 2-yr old girl. (The girl is 12 now) The girl's birth mother was a drug addict and decided to give her 2 girls up for adoption.

My friends have the letter the birthmother wrote, explaining why she gave her kids up and to this day, my friends celebrate the day they adopted their daughter like a birthday. They call it the "Gotcha Day".

No secrets, no shame...it's a big celebration.

Blither said...

Aww that made me tear up Limey.. So beautiful. *Hugs*

snavy said...

You were lucky. The only good thing that came from my mom's adoption was the mom that adopted her. And, that wasn't always great. The rest of the family save one aunt sucks. Other aunt's kid told my sister "you're not really my cousin". So, my aunt must think that my mom is not really her sister - I mean where else would a 9 year old get something like that. Then you have the biologicals. Finding them was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

Gary said...

That was pretty funny what you told that psychiatrist. I don't think you would make a good one yourself, though. You are way too logical. :)

I hope you have a great weekend too. Don't let that sarong fall off. At least not in public. :)

lime said...

cosima, overwrought and negative media portrayals are one of my biggest pet peeves

susie, congroat to your friend and little wilder!

chick, i am sure that letter will be much appreciated and 'gotcha day' is such a wonderful idea!


blither, sorry i did not issue a tissue alert.

snavy, truth be told, i have a couple of cousins and aunts who persist in making some rather obnoxious comments about my adoption. they are idiots (and it's their loss if they can't deal with things) and i know the people who love me are my true family. i'm sorry there has been a lot of negative experience for your mom and you.

James Goodman said...

Very moving 55, Lime.

Congrats on the newest cousin. I'm sure she will be loved as you were.

airplanejayne said...

I luv it Lime!

Made me remember my trip to China last year when we got my niece Corrine.

Family is never perfect -- but they are family. "You can pick your friends, and your nose. But you can't pick your family, or your pick yer friend's nose."

:)

Spitfire said...

I love this count lime, it is so sweet....

AndyT13 said...

Yup, great count Lime. You're in mine today!

Nancy Drew said...

That is the sweetest post, Lime! I think you're the healthiest person I know, brainbox wise.

OK that doesn't count for much considering how nutso my family and friends are, but I mean that as a compliment. MWAH and ((((((hugs)))))

lime said...

james, thanks! i can't wait to meet her!!

apj, your post on corrine was so lovely. i cried.

spitfire, thanks:)

andy, awwww....running off to check your count in just a sec.

nancy, zipline falls nontwithstanding huh? hehehe

Anonymous said...

Is it too late to be adopted at 40?

ZigZagMan said...

Nice count....:)

Being on the other end of that stick, I still wonder what became of my sis that was given up.....ehh. Hope she came out as well as you...:)

Moosekahl said...

Very cool! The ortho doc I trained with had tried and tried with his wife to have a baby and they had a lot of complications. When I was on his rotation, they got wind they had a baby. They brought Rosie home and their entire focus changed. A year later...his wife was pregnant on their own and had a healthy baby boy. Now they have two beautiful children of their own to love. And love them both they do! Thank God there our parents out there for those that need them. Have a great weekend

Phain said...

well done Lime!

Robert van de Walle said...

That psych friend sure sees the world through a very specific lens. I'm glad you were able to shatter it with some hearty laughter!

Have a great weekend.

Logophile said...

Congrats on the new family member.
They are always wonderful, no matter how they arrive.
The important thing is that they are our.

lime said...

m, it's never too late.

zig, thanks. wherever your sis is i hope she is at peace. thanks for sharing your side.

moose, that's a happy ending for sure!

phain, thanks!

robert, when someone that educated displays that level of ignorance laughter is about all you can do.

logo, well said!

KFarmer said...

What happy news! A toast to the newest family member and the not so new! Long healthy life and an abundance of joy- Cheers!

lime said...

gary, ooops i missed you up there! thanks for your assessment of my logic. i agree...teeheee

kfarmer, thank youvery much. peace to you in your new endeavor too.

KFarmer said...

I did not have to wait long for my answer- explanation at site. I'm back :)

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

That was a very cool post, lime. I've heard of the 'adoptive maladjustment thing too,' --but some friends of mine who are also adopted have always said, '...what's to wonder about my parents wanted me, came and got me, and took me home -ain' no question about it, that's love.' Having raised a lot of kids who needed good parents, I wish more folks would adopt,(and as for the age thing, actually, there is a huge percentage of kids who aren't adopted because they are older...) (food for thought thanks for writing this.)

Fred said...

Nice post, Lime. My goddaughter is adopted from China, and she's very well adjusted, too.

Congrats on the new addition to your family.

Fortress Guinness said...

hooray for well-adjusted adopted kids...!!! (-_^) mwah xxx