If it is a weekend when a surprise 60th birthday party has been planned (and over a month's notice has been given) for one family member, the newest family member has just been adopted and brought home from Guatemala, and the family matriarch has been in the hospital for the last week I am still willing to have you stay home if that's what you prefer. I will even do that without complaint.
However, when the children start asking why they have to be involved in family life if Daddy isn't and you back them up not in a mature way, but by making disparaging comments about my side of the family, I will defend my kin. I will also point out that the reason the kids don't feel connected is because they follow your example in not participating. I will however, allow them the choice. I will also go without you. And yes, I will ask my mother (yes, that member of the family you can't be bothered with but who you want to serve your purposes), who works for hourly wages, to drive me to and from the surgery center on Friday because God forbid you, with your salaried wage, should have to use a personal day to do that. (Yes, folks, Friday is the day the hardware comes out of my arm. I mentioned it to a few of you but forgot to post anything about it. Sorry)
If, when I return after two days, I hear about all the fun activities the 4 of you engaged in during my absence (special activities that do not normally occur and I have been asking to do as a family for sometime) I will feel slighted but I will put that aside long enough to enjoy the kids' happiness.
If I hear tales of how you all chose to subsist on Twinkies, potato chips, smores, and baloney I will understand the resulting stomach aches and indigestion.
If I walk into the kitchen that was clean when I left and see every glass, bowl, dish and pot littered about, along with all sorts of crumbs and other food residues (keeping in mind the hysteria and disgust I witnessed in all of you when we caught 3 mice in the last two weeks) I will not smile and clean it all up. I will call all of you to come fix this mess as I wonder how the aforementioned diet can produce so many dirty dishes.
If the father of my children should choose this moment to whine about how unfulfilling and beneath him it is to wash dishes (I am completed as a woman every time I get to scrub pots.....yeah, right) because he chose to excuse the children from their part of the job he may not reasonably expect a great deal of sympathy from me.
After all that he may wake up the next morning and give thanks for life because I chose not to smother him with a pillow while he slept.