The Mother of all Memes

Mini Update: I'm eating normally again. I had pizza when I could finally eat and boy did it taste good. I'm also really pleased with how my fingers are moving, much better than I expected. The wrist is stiff but the only real pain is right around the incision so that's also much better than I expected. I know I was a nervous, whiny mess last week and I just want to thank you all again for all the support and encouragement.

I don't remember where I saw this but I copied it and stuck it in my drafts for when I felt lazy. Today's your lucky day. Seems a cheap way to thank you all for your supportive comments and emails over the past few days but hopefully it at least gives you a little chuckle here and there. If you decided to swipe it from me let me know so I can come read your answers.

1. DO YOU SNORE?
When I have a cold, yes

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Yes to both

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Something awful happening to my children.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I did envy my brother's legos. What would Dr, Freud say?

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
Unreal

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Why would I??

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
You be the judge

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
It's better to be single than to wish you were.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
It's more fun to torture people within earshot.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! You know how well I do with ziplines. Are you trying to kill me?

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
If I told you then I'd have to kill you.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
A few inches below my belly button (I saw this answer somewhere else and I am stealing it)

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
no

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
yes

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOSTIE POP?
Lick, lick, lick....CRUNCH! Three licks.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Yes, useless skills are my specialty, have you not seen my HNTs?

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPERS?
Manual, you could blame it on my Pennsylvania Dutch upbringing. Then again I have a 50 year old manual pencil sharpener that works better than any electric I've ever seen.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
We eat what we hunt and do our own butchering. My daughter has been hunting since she was 13. I prefer venison to beef. We are absolute sticklers for proper handling and storage of firearms and ammunition because there is ZERO room for error. We do not poach and I do not agree with trophy hunting.

I do NOT appreciate NYC government going after local Pennsylvania gun dealers who I know to be reputable and who abide by the law simply because some thug in NYC used a gun he stole from someone who bought it legally in PA. If you kept your own damned criminals in prison we'd all be happier.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
Ummm, it's in my past and present...so I'd say that's an affirmative.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I've got other character issues I spend more time considering

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Much to every medical professional's dismay I'm allergic to aspirin, penicillin, and morphine. I'm also allergic to bananas and kiwi, which I only found out this week usually indicates a latex allergy, but so far I've never reacted to latex. To the exceding disappointment of my kids I am allergic to cats and dogs. I can't seem to convince them that lizards and snakes can be fun pets.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU" ?
To my kids this morning when I put them on the bus.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Rarely

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
In my ovaries

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Every blonde I've ever met was able to speak.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
They transmogrify into wire coat hangers.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
7:43 am

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
My name isn't Nick

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Extremely, I avoid it and most fast food places like the plague.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Saturday

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Long, hot, drain the water-heater showers.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
St Nicholas is.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
*shivers* Oh, yes, very much....more please...

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Sometimes

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Chocolate

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy with some marshmallow fluff. Nothing like a fluffer nutter sammich.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Why would I want to??

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Yes, AND a med-evac helicopter all on the same day!

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
I dunno, right now I'm awfully glad for Vicodin.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Driver's license says brown. An Iranian friend once said they were the color of rich honey. I think I prefer the poetic description.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Beats the alternative

51. WHO'S BETTER?
What kind of stupid question is this?

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Like Daphne from 'Frasier'

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
No

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS ?
Depends on your definition of 'play.'

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I emptied Mr. Lime's coin cup after he cleaned out my wallet without me knowing, so it's your call.

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
You really are trying to kill me aren't you?

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
As long as I'm camping with people who prepare but who are not overly prissy about the whole thing. If you're going to eek over every bug and getting dirt under your nails, just do us a favor and stay home. I'll go without a toilet but if you think I'm going to forage for berries and rodents you're outta yer mind.

58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Occasionally, but usually I go into what my son calls 'hyena mode.'

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I believe in miracles

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
There's a loyalty in dogs that doesn't often exist in man, but they make me sneeze and itch.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I believe it's better than homicide.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Is there a demand for this skill?

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Hahahahahaha!!!!! Yes

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It's a lovely early fall day. Trinis would call it frigid, Norwegians might call it balmy. I call it perfect.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Bran flakes with blueberries and skim milk and a glass of OJ.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Only on my toes

67. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
You're asking me to do math at this hour of the morning?

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
All drug commercials, all ambulance chaser commercials, anything where that orange-glo guy is screaming at me.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
They don't sell clothes for women with curves, so no.

70. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Hhhmmm......new stuff? The Word by Prince