Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Random Bullets of Crap

  • Saw the doc again yesterday. He stuck a big ass needle in my wrist. This is supposed to help with pain. Anyone else sense the irony in this? Needles in bony parts like wrists=more pain for me. Needles in meaty parts like my ever widening ass= less pain for me. Needle in doc=painless for me.
  • During the drive to the doc's someone decided that if I was travelling at 75 mph that was just tooo slow. This individual attempted an automotive colonoscopy of the Lime-mobile while showing me which finger he wanted to use for a digital rectal exam. I don't especially appreciate that and it brings out my spiteful side. I got him in a position where he couldn't pass and I slowed down to 55 since that was the speed limit and all. I really wanted to see his forehead vein pop and splatter his windshield. Either that or invite him to the doctor's so I could practice giving big ass shots before I administered on to the doc.
  • Is anyone noticing the 'ass' theme I have going on already?
  • I went to the mall after one of my doctor visits. As I was leaving and juggling bags of books (very dangerous to let me near bookstores that are having sales) a fellow came up behind me and held the door. I thanked him and he walked alongside me and took a very conspicuous gander at my left hand. I haven't worn my wedding ring since I broke my arm because my hand has been too swollen. In any event, the fellow noticed my nekkid ring finger and said, 'You are very beautiful. Are you married?' (Well, bless your well-toned butt and mighty fine self, darlin. You just made my whole month!) I told him I was indeed married and he responded by saying it was terribly unfortunate for him. Ok, ok...he did have an accent that said, 'I really need a green card.' but let me enjoy the fantasy for a little while, ok? It sure beats roadrage jerks and needles in my wrist.
  • Can anyone explain to me why someone would need to be on the phone and simultaneously IMing the same person you're on the phone with, especially when you've told me what an ass this boy is?
  • My friend from Bolivia has been intrigued by the voter apathy in this country. He tells me voting in his country is mandatory and for an extended time after the election you must carry documents proving you voted otherwise you cannot do banking and various other business related things become impossible to accomplish. Interesting concept, no? Then again, this will force a lot of people whose heads are up their asses to vote too....scary thought.
  • I just said goodbye to him a few minutes ago as he is headed to Florida and then home. It was a great joy to have him here. Goodbyes suck ass, I've never been good at them.
  • It is Wednesday, so I'll leave you with a weird picture (taken from www.jackleone.com )that continues the theme...


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25 comments:

Tommy said...

Gaaaaaahhhhhhhh! I'm BLIND! lol. Lime I notice your ass even when it isn't your theme, and a nice ass it is so shaddup. Happy Wednesday doll. Anything in that stack 'o books I might be interested in?
TG

Anonymous said...

We have compulsory voting in Australia, I don't think it really helps in the end, as so many people just put a line throught the lot on the paper. The vote doesn't count, but they have done their part.
And yes, it'd definately the car.

:)

snavy said...

Thanks for starting my day with that image!!

I do the same thing to people who drive like that.

Anonymous said...

Tailgaters... the scourge of highways everywhere. You did the right thing!

You have to have ass! How to you dance if you just have bones?

barefoot_mistress said...

LOL Lime! You so funny!

I think that Logo and I might have IMd and talked on phone at same time.....does that make one of us an ass? Or both? LOL


And, hey quit following me around and taking pics of my ass! Sheesh!

Next time someone "green card flirts" with you, flip him the finger, making sure to show your lovely scar and NOT the ring! Tell him you are already married, to Frankenstein!
That will only work for awhile though, til your scar fades.....so make some good use of it..but only if the "green card flirter" does not have a cute bamsee!

Ok whoever gets my first comment of the day, and it's often you, gets the barely awake spontaneous ramble! (And I think kindof oddly at this time of day)
Do you feel honored?

Heather said...

Needles = suckage.

And I like the ass theme. How can you not? Lols.

Jodes said...

that pic is nasty.......on the phone and iming??? oDD!!!

Blither said...

Oh OH OH!! Limey Limey Limey.. You Make My Wednesdays so so so funny! No Greencard? Does he have Money? Is he a Strapping Lad? We will have to Bargain. :)

Dr. Proc said...

Ass far ass this post goes I think you could have capitalized on the whole ass theme - you know - "...ass the ass turns..." and all!

Poor car! Festiva listing left! Festiva listing left!

Margie Blystone said...

Ironic... I currently have a house guest that's from South Africa and just flew in from Florida.

Way to go on boxing the asshole in... I love it when the opportunity arises but then I get frightened that their one of the gun toting variety.

Amber said...

Forced voting? That is crazy. I am not into politics and that would be torture for me.

I love putting speedy drivers in their place when I have a chance. Right when they try to pass me up I speed up just a little. I can't help but to smile having control over someone like that.

MyUtopia said...

Sorry to hear about the shot! I hate drivers! Don't you wish you could drive in a bubble?

Nice on snagging the hotty's attention : )

AndyT13 said...

It does not be safe fuh me ta lime 'roun too much 'bout your place Limey. I be gettin ideas an all. Tank fuh de fine comments of late. Dey's appreciated much.

AlRo said...

i was sympathetic to your rant- right up until the "soft-on" moment that you posted at the bottom of your post....

Ya.. uh.. thanks for the memories....

*can someone please, pass me a fork so that i can gouge my eyes out .. maybe i can stab my brain with it to kill the memory*

AlRo said...

on another note.. *to stick with your theme* I hate butt-tards like that!! But then again, that's like anyone from Quebec up here... they all drive like that ;)

BTExpress said...

What is your doctor, a masochist? Come on, he has to be a masochist to jab sharp objects into you and then tell you that you will feel better after he's done.

Logophile said...

I didn't know i wasn't sposta IM and talk on the phone to the same person at the same time, but does it change if you don't think they are an ass?
nice pic, ack

Spitfire said...

You crack me up- I have a dear mr. asshole driver in the works...rectal exam?? hahhahaha

I am sorry about the needle doll, man that sucks, but it was nice of that immigrant to compliment you. Everyone needs a pool boy to fantasize about ya know. ;-)

m said...

Oh my!

Oh my!

After all of those references to ass, I suppose the final picture shouldn't have been a surprise...

PS Thank you for the comment on the posting of my Aunt's tattoo. She is still mourning and I think it brightened her spirits a little to have her tattoo posted on the blog and to have people comment.

airplanejayne said...

APj is taking applications from cute foreigners with ASS--err, 'scuse me, that's ACCents..

Top cat said...

Love the ass theme but the picture...well, it's a bit..ummm
LOL
Tc

Rob said...

Limey, that last image is just SO wrong on so many levels!

Now, go to my room and I'll be in to deal with you shortly! ;-)

barefoot_mistress said...

LMAO.....still!

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

thats it.
I'm ducttaping my eyes closed.

Nancy Drew said...

Limey how DID you snap my pic???